life/love Archives - Page 4 of 71

our missions work ~ and so we all continue to cling to hope

April 24, 2014

Our Missions Work ~ and so we all continue to cling to hope…

I had hoped I would be inspired to write every day once I got away from the noise of my life. I had big dreams to finish a writing project, and even bigger dreams to start a new one.

But, it seemed the noise never really went away. It simply changed.

What was once the noise of busyness quickly became the noise of something I can’t quite understand enough yet to explain, honestly.

All I know is that there are a million thoughts, a million questions, and so many sets of wide questioning eyes staring into mine, and all I can do is blink back the tears, pray and trust.

And so we all continue to cling to hope.

It’s my 3^rd trip here this year, and each time it gets easier while it also gets harder. Easier because I feel the love and an even deeper connection than ever before. The trust is building, and the comfort comes easy. And yet, harder because my eyes become more and more open to the truth of their lives and their world, and just how difficult it truly is to make change.

We want it.
They think they want it.
And then habits and culture show up stronger than the hope, and the cycle begins.

And then there is the issue of my heart and the reality of not being able to do all that it desires to do.
Our world is too big, and my reach seems too short.
How can I be there as often I hope to, when the resources I have don’t match the desires that consume me?

They’d ask every day when was I going home and begged for an answer as to when I’d be back. And instead I’d look into their eyes and think of all the things I’d need to say in that short moment we had, because the truth is, I never know for sure when that will be.

And so we all continue to cling to hope.

It’s a bunch of wants and needs and feelings that are all so incredibly real and true.
And it’s a whole lot of completely opposite wants, needs and feelings that also are incredibly real and true.

And this has been my truth this trip.
A whole lot of happiness.
An awful lot of disappointment.
And an even stronger desire to rest it all in the Lords capable hands, because mine are simply too weak.

And once again, over and over again, we all continue to cling to hope.

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our missions work ~ it’s not about poverty, it’s about relationships

April 21, 2014

Our Missions Work ~ it’s not about poverty, it’s about relationships

I had hopes of posting more last week while we were working in the D.R., unfortunately the internet had other plans, which included dropping out nearly every 20 seconds. So instead I got a lot of practice with patience.

I have many thoughts.
Many stories.
Many lessons learned.

Only I may need another day or two to process through it all.
All I know is this time was different, more than any other time I’ve been there.
This time it wasn’t as much about the poverty as it was about the relationships.
Which almost makes it harder…and easier all at the same time.

My heart is hopeful yet also heavy, and I am full of missing aching-ness that I haven’t experienced quite like this. I pray and I see faces attached to names attached to stories and my eyes immediately fill with tears.

But more on all that later this week.

For now, here are just a few snapshots from the week that I’ve already memorized and find running through my thoughts and prayers ever since.

And thank you for your prayers.
I felt them.
And I still need them, they still need them, just as much now as we did last week.

I can’t wait until I can get back…

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going back to the dominican republic!

April 13, 2014

It’s hard to believe that a full year has passed since Taylor & I took our first trip to the Dominican Republic with Childrens Heritage Foundation. So much has happened in our lives, and even more so in the lives of the people living in Olivares. And now, Jimmy & I are just about to head back over for our first missions trip together (and our 4th trip combined this year)!

Real quick(ish), let me just share how YOUR prayers and support have made a difference this last year….

When we look back on the last 12 months of work in the village of Olivares, Dominican Republic, we stand in awe of what God has done through our initial step of faith. The following are some of our accomplishments during this very short period…

Food Security: We are cultivating over 17 acres of farmland that the program purchased with donations from several San Diego families. This Food Security project is focused on long-term solutions to expand food production and thereby reduce hunger among children and families in the village. Agricultural products including bananas, vegetables, corn, beans, poultry and fish.

Fish Farm: We are also assisting our local partners with a small fish production facility. This small project is serving as a pilot for a larger fish farm that we hope to develop in the village in the very near future.

Child Sponsorship: We are pleased to report that 8 of the 64 children who are up for sponsorship were sponsored in the last 8 months. As a result of the sponsorship program, these children are now going to school and receive daily nutritious meals.

{the two orphans we sponsor that now live with the pastor we work with}

Clean Water: Expanding access to clean water has been an integral part of our work. With the assistance of various San Diego residents and organizations, we began the construction of an expanded community clean running water system. We dug a new well, installed a modern pump, rehabbed four existing water storage tanks and laid the physical infrastructure to deliver clean running water to entire community. The clean water project is already benefiting many families, providing water that is free of bacteria, parasites and cysts. The clean water they receive every single day reminds them that God truly loves them!

Occupational training: We launched a cabinetmaking training program for unemployed youth from the community. This short-term vocational training course provides intensive, hands-on training in the making of household furniture. The training program helps youth to systematically develop their hand skills, along with an understanding of tools, materials, and processes, a sense of care, and a commitment to excellence in their craft. Five unemployed and uneducated young men from the village are currently enrolled in the program.

Baseball Academy: We have created a baseball academy that is teaching the fundamentals of baseball and prepare talented young athletes for a career in Major League Baseball. The academy also motivates athletes to do well in school and instill the practices of good ethics, respect, courage, perseverance, resilience and life-long learning.
In addition, we rebuilt the local baseball field that had been in disrepair for decades.

Mission Trips: CHF facilitated 4  mission trips that included over 32 San Diego residents to Olivares, Dominican Republic. These trips brought much needed supplies to this poverty stricken community.

I also asked Robert to share with me his greatest prayer requests & needs so I could pass it along. And it’s because you’re among our most caring friends that I’m asking you to please join us in prayer for our list of future projects and activities:

· Expansion of the Clean Water system – Extend the physical infrastructure for an additional one kilometer ($1,500)

· Modern Playground – Build a modern playground for the children of Olivares ($5,200)

· Occupational Training Center – Construction of a permanent building to house the occupational training program ($3,500)

· Community Clinic – Construction of a small building to serve as a community clinic: ($7,200)

· Child sponsorship – Secure child sponsorship for the additional 56 children who are in need of sponsorship. Let us know if you’re interested! ($35/month per child)

~~~~~~~

Many of you have emailed me over the months just how you can get involved in supporting us…and quite honestly the greatest gift you can give to us is your prayers. We would love if you would consider committing to praying for us daily or weekly as we continue to be involved in this ministry? We need the Lord to go ahead of us in this venture; preparing our hearts and the hearts of the people we will be reaching out to.

Please feel no obligation, but if you desire to make a tax deductible donation in any amount know that we would be so grateful! (An accounting of all funds will be available, should you desire to see it, upon our return.)

Tax Deductible Financial contributions can be made using the following methods:
~ Online: Make a secure online tax deductible donation by visiting the Children’s Heritage Foundation website.
(Donations can be made in multiples of $10, 25, 50, or 100)
Make sure to enter “Saldana Family” in the comment box. You will be emailed a confirmation of payment within 24 hours.

~ By Phone: Make a contribution by phone using your credit card by calling (858) 481-1389 Monday through Thursday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p. m.

~ By Mail: Checks should be made payable to Children’s Heritage Foundation. Please write our names/Domincan Republic in the memo line of the check. You can mail checks to:
CHILDREN’S HERITAGE FOUNDATION 991-C
LOMAS SANTA FE DR. PMB 427
SOLANA BEACH, CA 92075

We sincerely thank you again for all your love, encouragement, prayers and support over this last year!!!
We are incredibly grateful to be partners with all of you in this ministry.

Summer & Jimmy

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12in1: unstuck ~ monthly challenges update

April 10, 2014

I have absolutely 100% dropped the ball on keeping up with my monthly challenges blog posts. The good news is that we are still keeping them alive and well though, in our family & home.

So, here’s the latest on what we’re calling 12 in 1:Unstuck…

Our family is definitely still loving and working through our monthly challenges for 2014, although the newness and excitement from the beginning of the year has absolutely started to wear off a bit. But we aren’t quitters…or at least Jimmy & I aren’t, so we’re plugging away determined to show our kids that this is worth seeing through to the end.

March was Books over TV month, where we set limits on how much TV we watched, replacing that habit instead with time reading…either alone or together as a family.

Surprisingly, giving up our TV time came quite easily. The kids never had it on during the week (and rarely even asked for it!), and had at most maybe an hour a day on the weekends, while Jimmy and I stuck to an hour or less just a few nights a week.

But the books part of the plan?
Um ya, not so much.

All of Taylors free time was spent with the Rainbow Loom, crafting up hundreds (it appears) of bracelets I’m pretty sure he’ll never wear but simply wanted the challenge of making, and I found that I love love love Instagram & YouTube more than I ever had before the T.V. was turned off. Although, I will admit that Jimmy and Chloe, however, did awesome with this part of the challenge. Chloe read to me during nearly every one of my baths and showers, and by the end of the month was even bringing books with her every time she headed to the potty. And I lost count of how many books Jimmy consumed for the month, though mostly because he was working hard to finish a seminary class before our trip to London.

For the month of April, we chose to go along with my friend Laura’s idea, and give up uttering anything negative. And let me just say….Dang. That’s not as easy as I thought it would be. As it turns out, we’re all just a bunch of Isrealites wandering around the desert in this house. I’m kind of thinking we should have done the jar idea like Laura’s doing. But the good thing about all this is, at least we’re now more aware, and spending 30 days being hyper focused on it HAS to bring about some change, right?!?

Ya, more on this at the end of the month.

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let’s talk about blogging

April 7, 2014

Goodness. Taking that week off from writing in London has really messed with my flow of blogging! I was doing so well with keeping to my schedule, and then just ONE WEEK was all it took to throw me off completely. I’m figuring out that sometimes, writing can be a bit like working out. It’s so easy to get out of the habit if you aren’t doing it consistently.

Anyway…I feel like I have a lot of little updates to share, so I’ll try to catch you all up this week on where I’ve been and what’s happening in my life and heart.

Today, let’s talk about BLOGGING…

If any of you have been following for more than a year, you probably know that every few months I cycle through this whole, “What is this all for? Should I still be doing this? Is this even making a difference in the world? Maybe I’m not that good of a writer because I’m not as successful~witty~pretty (insert comparative adjective here) as so and so?” type of funk.

I have to admit, after my unintentional week-ish off, I found myself heading down that road rather quickly. And I think that’s perhaps why things have been more quiet around here. It’s so hard to write when the inspiration doesn’t seem to be there.

Thankfully, I have been blessed with incredibly encouraging and inspiring friends. In sharing my heart, they openly shared theirs, and instantly I was reminded of all the reasons behind why I feel such a desire to share my life through my writing and videos.

I may not be able to write 5 days a week, or even always 3 days a week, but it is my heart to write, and when I feel inspired to do so, I absolutely will. And what I’m learning about myself is that I can’t always force what isn’t in my heart to share, and it’s just not me to make up a blog post simply because the experts say to post so many times a week, or because so and so blogger who is raking in the readers and contracts does it that way.

I don’t want to live in order to blog…if that makes any sense. Sometimes, I just want to live, and get so caught up in my life and family and friends that I forget to blog. And I don’t want to feel guilty or care that I might be missing out on the growth other blogs are achieving by being consistent, or any kind of that of yucky comparison game I often get myself caught up in. Its taken a few years, but I’m finding that ever so slowly, I’m loosening my grip on all of those strongholds and instead finding a way and a path that is right for me.

In a way, I’m taking it back old school style. I want to get back to why I started this all, which is to share my heart in hopes of connecting to others. And there just can’t be a one size fits all formula for that.

Okay! So, that’s where I am this time around in all of my deep blogging life thoughts.

You still with me? 😉

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anxiety sucks and this is my story.

April 3, 2014

As many of you know, a lot of my life I have struggled with anxiety. I’ve shared often here on my blog, but so many of you have asked me to make a video more in detail about what I’ve been through and how I’ve been able to manage it.

I literally have filmed this three different times over the last couple months, and each time I just never felt it was good enough to share so publicly. But this third time I realized that I would always find faults in sharing something so personal, and that I needed to just let go and put it up regardless of how I felt. So, if you have other questions for me that I might not have addressed this time, let me know and I’ll happily collect them all and do another video with all the Q&A’s soon.

I pray with all my heart that by sharing my anxiety story it provides some sort of insight and comfort for all of you who are struggling down this road as well. I want to encourage you to always remember that you are never alone in this, and if you trust and lean on the Lord, He will continually bring beauty from your pain. He promises. And it’s not in His nature to break His promise.

The verses that I mentioned encouraged me during those tough days, and continue to inspire me now:

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
Isaiah 26

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14

I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121

He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in
spirit.
Psalm 34:18

The Lord Your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take
great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice
over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many
kinds, becuase you know that the testing of your faith develops
perserverance. Perserverance must finish it’s work so that you may be
mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has
stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has
promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of
a sound mind.
2 Tim. 1:7

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me.

He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me;
God sends his love and his faithfulness.
Psalm 57: 1-3

He who dwells in the shadow of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you will his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
not the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall by your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling–
even the Lord, who is my refuge–
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because SHE loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue HER;
I will protect HER, for SHE acknowledges my name.
SHE will call upon me, and I will answer HER;
I will be with HER in trouble,
I will deliver HER and honor HER.
With long life I will satisfy HER
and show Her my salvation.”
Psalm 91

May the God of HOPE fill you will all JOY and PEACE as you TRUST in
Him so you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares
for those who trust in Him.
Nahum 1:7

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the london i loved: part II (paris, camden market, british museum, westminster abbey & st pauls cathedral)

March 27, 2014

Hindsight is always 20/20.

And looking back, I wished I had filmed more during our time in London & Paris, but traveling with women I didn’t know very well made me feel a little more than awkward every single time I pulled out my camera. Next time, remind me not to care…

Thankfully though, between my vlogging and my Instagram overload (who knew too many picture posting on IG would cause you to lose followers? isn’t that what IG is for???), I most definitely feel I was able to capture all that we got to experience and see. At the top of my memory list, and what I’d definitely suggest for future London visitors, was walking through Westminster Abbey doing the audio tour, climbing 600-something stairs (alone, ahhhhh!) to the top of St. Pauls Cathedral, the eclectic shopping of Camden Market, the quaint neighborhood (and shopping) in Notting Hill, and of course…the 4 floors of happiness that is also called Primark. Riding the tube was also a favorite and made me wish we had that kind of transportation here in SoCal as well. It’s a little bit of heaven for a road rager, traffic hater, people watcher like me.

That shared…here’s the last half of our time in the London I loved. Enjoy!

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the london i loved.

March 25, 2014

Last week we spent 7 days in London, Jimmy doing business while I explored my new most favorite city ever. I brought along my laptop with the intention of getting lost in my writing and work while sipping tea at a nearby British cafe. I had lofty dreams…fortunately reality didn’t cooperate.

Once we got there I realized my laptop charger didn’t fit the adaptor we had brought, and not a single Boots Drugstore I searched carried one that would work either. And so, as it would happen, not one time since arriving in London, did I ever open my laptop. Not for work. Not for writing. Not even for YouTube.

It was almost as though God was nudging me to simply stop for a minute and be present in my surroundings. Maybe it was God, maybe it was circumstances, but either way it only took a day for me to adjust to life without my “right arm” and quite quickly I became consumed with a tourists life rather than an online one.

I loved London. Loved with a capital L. Being blessed with blue skies and sunshine definitely made it easier, but the rich history and lovely british accents certainly didn’t hurt either. I did my best to vlog & take as many pictures as I could to share in the experience (check over on Instagram!), so over this next week I’ll be sharing bits & pieces here as well as on my YouTube Channel.

And now that I’m back to the humming sound of my overworked laptop running, I confess that I’m finding it a bit difficult to gain the speed at which I was attempting before I left. I find myself, once again, needing to collect my thoughts, regroup and remind myself of what I’m doing and why, then work to get my focus back.

In the meantime….I hope you enjoy the London I saw and loved….

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12:1 getting unstuck ~ books over t.v.

March 4, 2014

I still need to write a post wrapping up all that we experienced and learned throughout our February challenge of service and kindness, but given that we are now into the first week of March, I thought I better first address our new months challenge.

This is the month that we’ve decided to limit the T.V. watching and instead focus more on reading and writing books, both individually and as a family. (more on the writing a bit later!)

~ I have some writing to get done & some books stacked up that I have been meaning to read for over a year now…
~ Jimmy has books to finish for his seminary classes…
~ We’ve always wanted to choose a book to read together as a family…
~ And I want the kids to be reminded that reading is actually fun and not just something that needs to checked off a homework list for the day.

And so we’re limiting our TV watching to one hour on the weekends and a half hour each weekday night, (Might be a little more now that I have a dear friend to cheer on!), and instead replacing the extra time rekindling our love for writing and reading books.

Already, I am seeing the changes and I love it. Just yesterday as I was taking an extra long shower to escape my day for a bit, Chloe found her way in with a stack of books ready to read to me all my quiet time long. She reminded me it was “book month,” and that she needed to read me some stories so I wouldn’t be alone during my shower. Never in my life have I ever wanted to give up my quiet shower time more than I did in that moment. She even took the extra time to poke the book past the shower curtain so I had an opportunity to see each picture that went with the words she was so graciously reading to me.

We also started a new book about Jim Elliot, an incredible missionary, that we’re reading together as a family each night that we’re all able to sit together at the dinner table. It’s amazing. We’re making memories. And I cherish it more than I ever thought I would.

In addition to this challenge, we’re also choosing this month to bring back the first two months challenges as well: Health & Kindness, and do our best to successfully juggle all three. I think every three months, we might bring back the old so as to really keep things a part of our lives and really solidify our new habits.

I have to say, I am LOVING these monthly challenges. I love that my family is so involved in this with me and that we are actively working together to make positive changes in our lives. I love that we can already look back and reflect on all the ways we’ve been able to make 2014 really count. We haven’t been perfect, but we’ve certainly done our very best…making sure to pick ourselves back up the next day when maybe the day before had been a bust. And in breaking all our hopes, dreams and goals up into 12 thirty(ish) day challenges, we are already so much further ahead in accomplishing our 2014 goals then we ever have been in previous years.

12 in 1: A year to getting unstuck… it’s good. It’s really really good.

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finding meaning in life ~ collector of moments

February 12, 2014

Finding Meaning in Life ~ collector of moments

For a minute, I thought I was done writing.
Only it was more than a minute, and more intense then a thought.

And when I think back, it scares me to realize that it was so much more than just my writing I could have walked away from.
I had in my grasp everything that meant so very much to me, and because of my need to collect, I nearly gave it all up.

I allowed the lies I’ve come to believe, about myself, about the world, about God and life and people, to take over…and I almost gave up.

I’ve never thought of myself as much of a collector, but the truth is, I may be the worst of them all.
For I’ve been a collector of hurts.

The moment it hurt, the very second I hurt, there I’d find myself storing it without intention on a shelf somewhere in a hidden closet, and tightly…I’d close the door.
And as long as it stayed that way, I’d convince myself that nobody would ever be able to see the mess I’d created inside.
My collection stayed safe.
But as each day passed, in some way, I was constantly reminded it was all still there…

And 35 years later, those closet doors I kept so guarded, were barely able to stay closed.
For the hurts now had lies attached, and together they took up so much space, it became more than the small room was ever meant to handle.

Suddenly I had on my hands a lethal collection I simply couldn’t ignore anymore.
Yes, life has been tough and people imperfect.
Yes, I’ve felt pain and hurt and sadness and loss beyond what I ever thought I could handle.

But what I’m starting to finally understand is, more importantly, life has also been incredibly meaningful and full of amazing delight.
There has been laughter, and love, and joy and wisdom and friendship and connection beyond what I ever could have imagined or thought I deserved.

And because my focus was miserably misdirected, I was allowing those incredibly valuable & collectable moments to pass me by.

Instead, I found myself with a closet full of meaningless dust, dirt, and utterly toxic junk.
Just a messy bunch of nothing.
All completely worthless and taking up valuable space in my mind, heart and life.

I almost walked away from ever wanting to write again, I almost walked away from a lot of things… because every time I looked inside my closet of collected memories, I felt overwhelmingly embarrassed and insecure, and sure that blessings were gifts simply meant for anyone other than me.

It’s been months now of cleaning house and making changes, and working every single day to break 35 years of bad habits.
And I am certain, that when all is said and done, I will proudly leave open the closet doors of my heart, blessed to share what a collector of moments I’ve instead become.

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