Our Missions Work ~ and so we all continue to cling to hope…
I had hoped I would be inspired to write every day once I got away from the noise of my life. I had big dreams to finish a writing project, and even bigger dreams to start a new one.
But, it seemed the noise never really went away. It simply changed.
What was once the noise of busyness quickly became the noise of something I can’t quite understand enough yet to explain, honestly.
All I know is that there are a million thoughts, a million questions, and so many sets of wide questioning eyes staring into mine, and all I can do is blink back the tears, pray and trust.
And so we all continue to cling to hope.
It’s my 3rd trip here this year, and each time it gets easier while it also gets harder. Easier because I feel the love and an even deeper connection than ever before. The trust is building, and the comfort comes easy. And yet, harder because my eyes become more and more open to the truth of their lives and their world, and just how difficult it truly is to make change.
We want it.
They think they want it.
And then habits and culture show up stronger than the hope, and the cycle begins.
And then there is the issue of my heart and the reality of not being able to do all that it desires to do.
Our world is too big, and my reach seems too short.
How can I be there as often I hope to, when the resources I have don’t match the desires that consume me?
They’d ask every day when was I going home and begged for an answer as to when I’d be back. And instead I’d look into their eyes and think of all the things I’d need to say in that short moment we had, because the truth is, I never know for sure when that will be.
And so we all continue to cling to hope.
It’s a bunch of wants and needs and feelings that are all so incredibly real and true.
And it’s a whole lot of completely opposite wants, needs and feelings that also are incredibly real and true.
And this has been my truth this trip.
A whole lot of happiness.
An awful lot of disappointment.
And an even stronger desire to rest it all in the Lords capable hands, because mine are simply too weak.
And once again, over and over again, we all continue to cling to hope.
