missions trips …how do you save the one who doesn’t want saving?

Missions Trips …how do you save the one who doesn’t want saving?

I’m not quite sure how to begin this story, and there is a part of me that struggles even to try as I fear the heartache becoming more than it is.

I suppose this is the nature of what we’re doing, and maybe in time, it stings a little less? Although, in truth, I pray it doesn’t for me, because something like this should never be easily digested.

I’ve told you before how I came to meet the two orphans we’ve been supporting, Daniella & Nano. (click the link to read the story if you’ve missed it) Immediately, their frail bodies and big doe eyes stole my heart, and I knew without a doubt God was prompting me to allow them in.

We’ve kept in touch over the year, sending letters and pictures and gifts, and we loved hearing that they were safe, in school, and for once, being well cared for. (Pastor Joel took them in to live with him and his family.) We knew they were struggling, as both kids had likely experienced some kind of abuse, but now they were safe, and we had hope.

photo 1

About a week before we were about to head over, we found out that Daniella (age 9) had been non-stop crying for weeks at a time, begging to go back to live with her mothers last boyfriend and 17 year old sister who has two small children of her own. The crying was so much, and so intense, that her behavior began creating a lot of distress for Pastor Joel and his wife, and their own three children.

When we finally arrived and were able to sit down with her, the Pastor and Robert (the head of the foundation), we all realized there wasn’t a whole lot more we could do. She wanted to go. She was going to go, and there wasn’t a thing…legally, we could do about it.

We had a heart to heart with her, explaining with a firm tone of love and passion, that we were invested in her. That we wanted so much for her future. For her to know the God that loves her. To one day learn to read. To graduate high school and attend University, and that we wanted so much to love and support her every step along the way. But, that we couldn’t make her do all these things. She had to want it too.


But what does a 9 year old know about making a decision like that? What does a 9 year old understand about planning for her future, when all she sees around her is a future of poverty & death, just the same as it was for her parents. There is no welfare system, no foster system, no CASA program assigning someone to look out for her best interests…it’s simply her who gets to decide, and there isn’t a thing we can do, but pray and hope and let her go.


We drove her back to her old village the second day we were there, and all the way I hugged her and kissed her and told her over and over again how we loved her and that we would never stop praying for her. She snuggled in close to me and promised she’d come back to see me the next day, and every day until we left.

It was a promise she had no intention of keeping.
For that was the last I saw of her while we were there.

I asked her brother, Nano, if she was safe and being fed…and he quickly responded that she wasn’t getting beat. It was an answer given too quick, and I felt a cold chill race down my spine. A chill that lingers with me even now.

I just can’t understand. I won’t ever be able to wrap my mind around any of it.

It’s a harsh reality when you can’t play God.
It’s a tough reminder that impossible situations only belong to Him and must be continually placed in His capable hands.

And so each time I think of her face, or glance upon her picture, I will prayerfully place her heart and her situation back right back where it belongs.

With Him.


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our missions work ~ consistency breeds credibility

Our Missions Work ~ Consistency Breeds Credibility

I never want to forget that moment of Jimmy playing baseball with Nano, the orphan we support, using simply a stick and a handful of rocks. And every time I see the picture, or watch the video, I find tears rolling uncontrollably down my face.

I loved how anytime Nano would go to play, he’d bring me whatever was in his hands at the time to hold for him. Even if I wasn’t nearby, he’d search to find me, simply so I could keep his things safe. I could see how he trusted me. It may seem silly, but holding his stuff felt a whole lot like he was allowing me to hold his heart.


When I first met him, he wouldn’t even look into my eyes. This time, he wouldn’t look away.
Last time, I wasn’t sure he was able to smile. This time, his laughter could be heard houses away.


And each time we stood to leave his side, he’d quickly ask with a sadness in his eyes, “Do you have to go back to your home now?” And each time I reassured him that we were just going to the bathroom, or to help a child, or back to our hotel…promising always, we’d be back. And each time I’d return, I’d find and hug him, reminding him we always keep our promises.

When the final day came and we had to answer his sad questioning eyes that yes, this time we actually did have to go back home, I reminded him that just as we had been before, we’d continue to come back.

Jimmy took him aside, a final father and son moment, and shared with him all our hopes and dreams for his future. How we love him, how Pastor Joel loves him, and how rules and expectations aren’t bad but just another way to show that we care and we want the best for his life. Jimmy encouraged him to be faithful in going to church and in learning more about the love that Christ has for him, and then with his arm around Nano, together they prayed.


It’s true when I say this trip wasn’t about poverty for me. It wasn’t about fixing them or their lives and then coming home feeling accomplished of doing a “good deed” in the comfort of my own community.

Instead, as God would have it…as unprepared for it as I was, it became all about vulnerability and building deeper relationships and trust.

Each time we go, incredibly, it becomes more and more authentic. Which is exactly why I keep going back. This is why I want more. I need more. And I pray over and over and over that somehow God will continue to use us in serving and doing missions work.

Here in the Dominican and wherever else He may call us to go.

This is my heart.

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our missions work ~ and so we all continue to cling to hope

Our Missions Work ~ and so we all continue to cling to hope…

I had hoped I would be inspired to write every day once I got away from the noise of my life. I had big dreams to finish a writing project, and even bigger dreams to start a new one.

But, it seemed the noise never really went away. It simply changed.

What was once the noise of busyness quickly became the noise of something I can’t quite understand enough yet to explain, honestly.

All I know is that there are a million thoughts, a million questions, and so many sets of wide questioning eyes staring into mine, and all I can do is blink back the tears, pray and trust.

And so we all continue to cling to hope.


It’s my 3rd trip here this year, and each time it gets easier while it also gets harder. Easier because I feel the love and an even deeper connection than ever before. The trust is building, and the comfort comes easy. And yet, harder because my eyes become more and more open to the truth of their lives and their world, and just how difficult it truly is to make change.


We want it.
They think they want it.
And then habits and culture show up stronger than the hope, and the cycle begins.

And then there is the issue of my heart and the reality of not being able to do all that it desires to do.
Our world is too big, and my reach seems too short.
How can I be there as often I hope to, when the resources I have don’t match the desires that consume me?

They’d ask every day when was I going home and begged for an answer as to when I’d be back. And instead I’d look into their eyes and think of all the things I’d need to say in that short moment we had, because the truth is, I never know for sure when that will be.

And so we all continue to cling to hope.


It’s a bunch of wants and needs and feelings that are all so incredibly real and true.
And it’s a whole lot of completely opposite wants, needs and feelings that also are incredibly real and true.

And this has been my truth this trip.
A whole lot of happiness.
An awful lot of disappointment.
And an even stronger desire to rest it all in the Lords capable hands, because mine are simply too weak.

And once again, over and over again, we all continue to cling to hope.

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our missions work ~ it’s not about poverty, it’s about relationships

Our Missions Work ~ it’s not about poverty, it’s about relationships

I had hopes of posting more last week while we were working in the D.R., unfortunately the internet had other plans, which included dropping out nearly every 20 seconds.  So instead I got a lot of practice with patience.

I have many thoughts.
Many stories.
Many lessons learned.

Only I may need another day or two to process through it all.
All I know is this time was different, more than any other time I’ve been there.
This time it wasn’t as much about the poverty as it was about the relationships.
Which almost makes it harder…and easier all at the same time.

My heart is hopeful yet also heavy, and I am full of missing aching-ness that I haven’t experienced quite like this. I pray and I see faces attached to names attached to stories and my eyes immediately fill with tears.

But more on all that later this week.

For now, here are just a few snapshots from the week that I’ve already memorized and find running through my thoughts and prayers ever since.

And thank you for your prayers.
I felt them.
And I still need them, they still need them, just as much now as we did last week.

I can’t wait until I can get back…





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going back to the dominican republic!

It’s hard to believe that a full year has passed since Taylor & I took our first trip to the Dominican Republic with Childrens Heritage Foundation. So much has happened in our lives, and even more so in the lives of the people living in Olivares. And now, Jimmy & I are just about to head back over for our first missions trip together (and our 4th trip combined this year)!

Real quick(ish), let me just share how YOUR prayers and support have made a difference this last year….


When we look back on the last 12 months of work in the village of Olivares, Dominican Republic, we stand in awe of what God has done through our initial step of faith. The following are some of our accomplishments during this very short period…

Food Security: We are cultivating over 17 acres of farmland that the program purchased with donations from several San Diego families. This Food Security project is focused on long-term solutions to expand food production and thereby reduce hunger among children and families in the village. Agricultural products including bananas, vegetables, corn, beans, poultry and fish.

Fish Farm: We are also assisting our local partners with a small fish production facility. This small project is serving as a pilot for a larger fish farm that we hope to develop in the village in the very near future.

Child Sponsorship: We are pleased to report that 8 of the 64 children who are up for sponsorship were sponsored in the last 8 months. As a result of the sponsorship program, these children are now going to school and receive daily nutritious meals.

{the two orphans we sponsor that now live with the pastor we work with}

Clean Water: Expanding access to clean water has been an integral part of our work. With the assistance of various San Diego residents and organizations, we began the construction of an expanded community clean running water system. We dug a new well, installed a modern pump, rehabbed four existing water storage tanks and laid the physical infrastructure to deliver clean running water to entire community. The clean water project is already benefiting many families, providing water that is free of bacteria, parasites and cysts. The clean water they receive every single day reminds them that God truly loves them!

Occupational training: We launched a cabinetmaking training program for unemployed youth from the community. This short-term vocational training course provides intensive, hands-on training in the making of household furniture. The training program helps youth to systematically develop their hand skills, along with an understanding of tools, materials, and processes, a sense of care, and a commitment to excellence in their craft. Five unemployed and uneducated young men from the village are currently enrolled in the program.

Baseball Academy: We have created a baseball academy that is teaching the fundamentals of baseball and prepare talented young athletes for a career in Major League Baseball. The academy also motivates athletes to do well in school and instill the practices of good ethics, respect, courage, perseverance, resilience and life-long learning.
In addition, we rebuilt the local baseball field that had been in disrepair for decades.

Mission Trips: CHF facilitated 4
 mission trips that included over 32 San Diego residents to Olivares, Dominican Republic. These trips brought much needed supplies to this poverty stricken community.

I also asked Robert to share with me his greatest prayer requests & needs so I could pass it along. And it’s because you’re among our most caring friends that I’m asking you to please join us in prayer for our list of future projects and activities:

· Expansion of the Clean Water system – Extend the physical infrastructure for an additional one kilometer ($1,500)

· Modern Playground – Build a modern playground for the children of Olivares ($5,200)

· Occupational Training Center – Construction of a permanent building to house the occupational training program ($3,500)

· Community Clinic – Construction of a small building to serve as a community clinic: ($7,200)

· Child sponsorship – Secure child sponsorship for the additional 56 children who are in need of sponsorship. Let us know if you’re interested! ($35/month per child)


Many of you have emailed me over the months just how you can get involved in supporting us…and quite honestly the greatest gift you can give to us is your prayers. We would love if you would consider committing to praying for us daily or weekly as we continue to be involved in this ministry? We need the Lord to go ahead of us in this venture; preparing our hearts and the hearts of the people we will be reaching out to.

Please feel no obligation, but if you desire to make a tax deductible donation in any amount know that we would be so grateful! (An accounting of all funds will be available, should you desire to see it, upon our return.)

Tax Deductible Financial contributions can be made using the following methods:
~ Online: Make a secure online tax deductible donation by visiting the Children’s Heritage Foundation website.
(Donations can be made in multiples of $10, 25, 50, or 100)
Make sure to enter “Saldana Family” in the comment box. You will be emailed a confirmation of payment within 24 hours.

~ By Phone:  Make a contribution by phone using your credit card by calling (858) 481-1389 Monday through Thursday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p. m.

~ By Mail: Checks should be made payable to Children’s Heritage Foundation. Please write our names/Domincan Republic in the memo line of the check. You can mail checks to:

We sincerely thank you again for all your love, encouragement, prayers and support over this last year!!!
We are incredibly grateful to be partners with all of you in this ministry.

Summer & Jimmy

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we’re building an orphanage and we’re heading back!

{the video update & a written one!}

Dearest friends & family…

It’s about that time again!!! It’s been a lonnnnng few months waiting to go back to the Dominican Republic, and suddenly it’s now just less than a month away!!!

Our family has so appreciated all you have done for us both in prayer and supporting this ministry. I can’t begin to tell you all that God is doing and in the midst of doing…but I’m going to try.
And try to make it quick! (ish)

Our Role with The Childrens Home:
First off, I’m excited to share that Jimmy and I have volunteered to help take on part of the sponsorship portion of this ministry, which is now called Alpha Youth Development Foundation. (our facebook page with all the updates)
I’m also in the middle of working with Stephanie, my web designer, to create the website for the Alpha Foundation as well.
I’ll be sure to post the link once it’s live!! (we’re SO close!!!)

Child Sponsorship:
We have a TON of children desperate for sponsors, so they can get meals, clothes, and have the funds to attend school. (we are in the process of raising $$ to buy a bus as well so that ALL kids may attend.)

So, if you’re at all interested in sponsoring a child or two, I would LOVE to hear from you!
And how much more amazing if you sponsor AND then one day join us on an upcoming missions trip to meet your child!!!
Trust me, I’ve met most of the children/teens, and they all hold a special place in my heart.

Let me share one quick personal example of how sponsoring children there has changed lives.

On our last trip, I told you about meeting two orphans, Daniella & Nuno.

My heart was captured, and I knew they were meant for us. I made promises to get them into school, but had no idea how to help them in all the other ways they needed (ie: a home, meals, safety). But after a month or two of emails back and forth with Pastor Joel, we decided to start sponsoring them monthly so they could have at least an education and two meals a day (through the church).

{Daniella & Nuno}

{similar to the building they lived in}

{where Daniella (8) slept alone}


But God is so much more than that.

While we prayed and cried and wished with all our hearts that we could do more from so far away, God showed up. And we got word that Pastor Joel had decided he could no longer allow them to live where they were even though our Childrens Home isn’t ready.

And get this.
He selflessly took them into his already tiny and completely filled home (with his two daughters and a few other adopted children), where they are now fed, bathed, loved, and attending school and church regularly.

Let me just tell you, this FAR exceeded our prayers and expectations. But God is good. He is faithful. And he is making a HUGE difference even when we’re not there!!!

Exciting changes in Olivares:
Now for some other important updates as to what’s been going on in the Batey of Olivares (where we are building the childrens home) since we were last there as a team:

~ Crops being planted: We will be growing a wide variety of vegetables, food, poultry, and livestock. A portion of the produce will go to the community and the surplus sold to restaurants and hotels. (this creates a revenue & job opportunitues for the community)
~ Souls being saved: During the course of the last 5 months over 20 people in the village haven given their lives to the Lord. A majority of these new converts are young men and adult males in their 70s!
~ Feeding Program: We recently started a feeding program for all the children in the village. They are provided with one hot meal every-other-day. Also, every morning and afternoon all the school-age children gather in the church for prayer and a snack before they head-off to school.

And this is only the beginning!

Our Future Trips & Plans:
I just want to share once again that it is still very clear to us that this is where God wants our family to be….for now. And it is our strong desire to be a part of as many of these team missions trips as we possibly can.

We also know, our plans are not always God’s plans, and so we go to Him with empty hands and simply ask him to fill it with only what is of Him.

All that said, as always we are asking you all to come together with us and PRAY.
Pray for the batey of Olivares.
For Pastor Joel.
For Robert, who is going there monthly to build relationships and help them to create change.
And for our family. That God would provide just what He desires us to have, and that we would be at peace with his provision.

Upcoming Trips:

November: The current plan is that Jimmy will be going solo on this trip. I am so excited for him, because while I see his heart for all that we’re doing, I know that by going there….his heart and life will be forever changed. The plan (always flexible) for this trip is to begin the clearing of the land and getting it ready to build on. And as always, VBS, Teen Discipleship, and building relationships will be a major focus as well.

December: For this trip, our plan is that I will go solo since the timing isn’t good for Jimmy to be gone from work. This is the trip that prayerfully we will actually begin BUILDING the Children’s Home! And as always, VBS, Teen Discipleship, and building relationships will be a major focus as well.

If you have it on your heart to help support us, this link will allow you to make a tax deductible donation, which I promise will MAKE A DIFFERENCE you may never truly see this side of heaven.

We all, collectively, in all the ways we choose to help, are going and making disciples of the Lord.
And that is EXACTLY what he has called us to do.

We honestly love each and every one of you, and cannot begin to find words to thank you for your love, prayers and support.


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break my heart for what breaks yours

I found myself humming the lyrics, “Break my heart for what breaks yours….,” on the plane ride out to the Dominican.  Those words became so much more than lyrics as they found themselves in my prayers later that night.

I had no idea what I was asking for…


I saw them sitting there with their hands neatly folded in their laps.  His eyes cast downwards, and her beautiful doe eyes opened wide with wonder.
I watched for a moment before introducing myself and took them in, allowing my heart to capture them as they were.

I felt called to set aside everything else that day knowing that God had brought these orphans there for a reason, and so I set out to truly know their hearts and souls.

But the more I knew with each question asked, the more my heart was gripped with an ache it had never known before.
I had no idea it could become even greater.

They had no parents.  Both had died and their 16 year old sister, too young to be left in charge, had been mistreating them.

They knew their ages (she is 8, he is 10), but not their birthdays.

They didn’t go to school, maybe never had, and neither child knew how to read.

When I asked what their favorite thing to play with was, after a long pause, they told me there was nothing.

And when I asked what their favorite food was, again, they looked up into my eyes and their blank stare told me everything I needed to know.
What is a favorite food, when food isn’t even promised?

I quickly made them each two peanut butter & jelly sandwiches along with their own water bottles, and within minutes the food and water was gone.

Best to eat quickly before someone else has a chance to take it.

With food in their bellies and after hours of intentional time had passed, Daniella began to lean into me for snuggles, which I valued more than she knew.



I asked them to come back the following day, promising them lunch, cake and more water.
They left with smiles and hugs, and seemed excited to have a plan.

The next day brought with it a rainstorm that wouldn’t end.  And as I watchfully stood at the doors of the church, I had a sinking feeling that the downpour was keeping them from the hope they had possibly gone to sleep with.

I couldn’t leave without seeing them again.
I had made promises, and I wasn’t about to break them.

When the day was done, we got into our car and set out to find where they lived.
To get them back in school I had offered to help with supplies, so I had an excuse to show up unannounced.

When I found their “home,” I knew my heart would never recover.
There was a heaviness that words will never capture.

You can never know that kind of pain until you are standing at the door of hopelessness.
We can never know their kind of pain, until we live that kind of hopelessness.

We think we understand, but we have no idea.


{similar to the building where we found Daniella.}

There she sat with another young girl, two teenagers (one with a baby on her hip), and a sketchy older man sitting on a motorcycle.
We were warned by the teen who had helped us find her that the man was a gangster of sorts, not one to be messed with.
And yet, as it turned out, he was the one who seemed to have all the questions to our answers about the children.

To this moment, that still doesn’t sit well with me.

I asked Daniella to show me where she slept and she lead to me a concrete room which I can only describe as resembling a jail cell, yet far worse.

She was sleeping on a mattress, solid black with rot, with only a thin dirty sheet thrown on top.
There were no toys, no bathroom, no food, no light, no hope.
{video of it here}

She told me she mostly slept there alone, while her two brothers and abusive sister (who had a 1 year old baby of her own) slept elsewhere.




I pulled her close and held her as tight as my arms would allow while I choked back the sobs that were catching in my throat.

The very same sobs I am choking back even now.

I told her I loved her.
It was true, so much more than I expected.

I promised her I would be back, and that I would help however I could.
I told her she wasn’t alone anymore and that God had brought her and her family to me for a reason.
I asked if she believed me, and she pulled away from my embrace long enough to look at me with her big brown eyes and nodded her head yes ever so slowly.

I ached as I left her there, alone…and the moment the car door closed behind me, I cried like I have never cried before.

I had asked God to “break my heart for what broke His,” and I knew He was only allowing me a small portion of that.

It’s now been 4 days since I left them, and there hasn’t been a day my eyes have remained dry.
My heartache is no less.
I can’t forget them…
Because I know HE hasn’t either.

It can seem overwhelming.
There are so many more like them and there is so much to be done to truly make a difference.

But God didn’t bring them all to me.
Instead He brought me this one family.

And I hear His spirit whisper to me daily, “It all begins with one.”


And so I’ll be back.
And soon.
I have promises to keep.

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going back to the dominican tomorrow, got prayer?


{our prayer cards we sent out}

I realize I haven’t posted many updates lately, and it’s mostly because I didn’t have a lot to update….but how quickly that is changing!!!

I should share that God has truly been speaking LOUD and CLEAR to both Jimmy and me, and it’s exciting to see what’s in store for us and our family.

We’re starting to wonder if maybe our calling is to more….

We just desire so much to be able to go beyond what is started on a one week trip, and really long to be able to stay for a bit longer to build relationships and help cultivate lasting change. We certainly can’t say anything for sure and God is still working on us, so we continue to be completely open and willing, daily covering this all in prayer.

As far as this upcoming trip TOMORROW!!!, I wanted to share a few details so you all would know just how to be praying for us.

This trip is all about working in the Batey (buh-tay), Olivares.

Olivares is where we have the land to build the orphanage, as well as the area where Pastor Joel and his church reside (the church that will potentially help us run the orphanage). It’s incredibly impoverished, and so we are not only planning a 3-4 day VBS & Baseball Camp, but are also hoping to tackle a few community projects where we will help do what we can to improve their quality of living… if even by  just a little.

There’s also the potential and talk of  having an opportunity to begin discipleship with some of the older girls from the church, which makes my heart want to absolutely burst.

It also makes me want to hurry up and become fluent in Spanish.
Baby steps.

It is also this trip where we believe we will see if this Orphanage idea truly has God in it.

We will be bussing in the orphans that Pastor Joel has prayerfully chosen to our VBS, so we can build relationships and more importantly…begin introducing them to their one and only hero: Jesus Christ.

Should we feel that God is still saying yes to the Orphanage Prayer, our plan is to eventually have 5 cottages on that plot of land with about 6 orphans and a set of houseparents in each.

Prayer Requests:

  • Pray that God would speak clearly to both Jimmy and I about where our family is to be in this world of missions. Every step we take we want it to ultimately be about God’s plan and nothing to do with our own.
  • Pray for the Bate, Olivares…Pastor Joel & his wife and family, his church and all the rest of their community. That they would ALL come to know the Lord personally, and desire to make a lasting change in their lives and in the lives of the people around them.
  • For the entire team going to serve. We have several teens on this trip, and it’s their first missions work, which I absolutely love. Their lives are about to be changed in a way that is bigger and better than anything else they could possibly do.
  • For our fundraising. We are still a ways away from our goal for this trip alone, and are trying to make as many budget cuts as possible to cover what’s rest. I know that God math is different than ours (especially mine, since I don’t do math), so I just pray God works it out, and that we’d have continual peace and trust in it all.
  • Because I’m doing this trip without my family, I’d love if you could pray for Jimmy, Taylor & Chloe while I’m away. As well as for our friends who will be helping to watch the kids. While I’m excited to go and help set the groundwork for our future, my heart fully desires to have us all go and serve together as a family one day soon.

I suppose that’s it for now.

We love you all!

P.S. To stay updated make sure to subscribe or follow my blog on Google Friend Connect or through Bloglovin’, as well as on Facebook & Instagram (links are also in the sidebar!).  It’s these three that I’ll be posting stories and updates to while I’m away!

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life is changing & i’m telling the story

It’s been a long few years.
{a long life?}Among the joys and blessings there have also been a lot of struggles, a lot of character building, and a lot of very humbling moments…
And yet, when something amazing and perfectly fitting comes along in your life, you realize all the many reasons God allowed you to walk the road you did.With time, experience and a teachable heart, comes perspective and wisdom.

I’m learning that ever so slowly.

God is doing something in our family.
Something exciting and big and a little bit scary.
And I’ve shared a little, but there’s so much more…

There are times I simply want to leave my heart to words written, but in this case, I want so badly to be able to sit down with each and every one of you and share all that is in my heart.
Just the way I have done with my closest friends since being home.

And so this video is just that.
Grab your tea.
It’s time for us to chat, friend to friend.
Cause I’m fixin’ to tell you my story….

For more information on how to support this Childrens Heritage Foundation Orphanage project or if you’d love to get involved yourself click here.

My good Friday experience post

Journal Entries/Blogs from our trip

To support our family while we continue to help with this project, click on the orphanage button to the right as well as here.

Music in the video by Kyle Hildebrand (Simple Song)

© 2013 “Le Musings of Moi”

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the p.m.s. they don’t warn you about

Its only been 3 weeks since being home.

3 weeks that I have battled feelings of homesickness and restlessness…
for a country that isn’t even mine.

For countries I haven’t even been to, yet.

Being back hasn’t been easy.
While I am incredibly thankful for my hot showers and comfortable bed, I remember just how content I can be without them.
And sometimes?
Having so much, and remembering those that don’t…leaves me feeling burdened.                                                                          
Nobody warned me about this.
This “being back home, when your heart longs to be somewhere else,” kind of blues.

Which is otherwise known in my house as P.M.S. 
(post missions trip syndrome)


In the last three weeks I’ve found myself revisiting the pictures, studying my Spanish, and praying for the children I know and even for the ones I have yet to meet.

I’m studying different third world countries and their needs, wanting to go and be a part of it all.

And then through it all, I’m trying to sit at the feet of the Lord, patiently waiting for him to clearly say once again, “Go.”

I want so much more than a one week trip, more than just 3-4 hours a day teaching stories and playing games.

I want to visit their homes and meet their families.
I crave to understand their struggles, and witness all that brings them joy.

I long to be their friend….
A part of their family.
To be someone they can trust, who comes alongside and loves with them….

…. bearing all things, believing all things, hoping for all things, enduring all things…

And for the first time in our life as a family, God has every one of us in a place where we would let go of whatever he asked…all to say “yes” to whatever it is he has planned.

Our hearts are ready.
We have no plan, except the one to follow God.

And now that I’ve had a taste of what that plan could be for our life….
I crave it more and more.

We may not know His long term plan clearly, but there is definitely an excitement and a waiting expectancy in my home.

So that heaviness, that P.M.S, is absolutely okay…
because it just shows me that God has truly called us to so much more than what we’re doing now!

I found this quote the other day when I was researching details on starting our Dominican Orphanage, and it gave me such incredible peace, that I had to share…

For it is now the life my family and I are living…

‘This is a “faith walk” from start to finish. God doesn’t allow us to see the end of the road, just where to take our next step. He doesn’t provide a blue print to explain every detail. We listen for His voice and strive to follow His lead. The first thing we must do on this journey is seek the Lord for direction by asking, “Lord what would you have me do this year [today], what are my assignments?” We must ask God these questions because it is easy for us to miss God and assign ourselves work that we may not be called to do.’

We’ve been assigned.
And we’re starting with the Dominican Orphanage.
© 2013 “Le Musings of Moi”
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It means so much that you are here! I know life gets busy though, so if you don't want to miss a thing, I invite you to subscribe to my blog through email!