God won’t give you more than you can handle


It’s no secret that I’ve had my fair share of struggles throughout my life…


I remember each of those moments or times in my past with such a vivid memory, that tears still come to my eyes when I fully allow myself to sit with the pain I had to endure. Because, truly, how does anyone ever forget the times they cried the most honest and heartfelt tears of their life?

And in many of those struggles, I would often hear what I imagine people meant to be comforting words,

God won’t give you more than you can handle…so know that He must really believe that you are incredibly strong!

And while I longed to find the comfort in that, the truth was, I wasn’t strong…I was weak and afraid, angry and broken. And I knew that I was most definitely was not strong enough to get through the pain I was experiencing…

If you’d like to read more, I invite you to finish the rest of this post today over at The Better Mom.

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the greatest beauty truths we can ever know | #thebeautybalance

I’ve been diving right into this 31 Day Writing Challenge, where each blogger chooses a topic to write about for 31(ish) days. Because it’s right where God has me, I’ve chosen to share on Blending Beauty with Balance.
(#thebeautybalance, if you want to follow along…or better yet, join the conversation using the hashtag!)

It’ll be a fun and encouraging 31(ish) days where I’ll be sharing tips and tricks while digging deeper, finding purpose, and blending beauty with balance — all with a heart of intention. {all 31(ish) Days will be linked here}

a Mama and her little daughter lie on the grass

I think one of the most meaningful posts I may have ever written, regardless of it’s popularity, is the one I wrote for Chloe called, What We Need to Teach Our Daughters About Beauty.

It was written when in the midst of a hurried night trying to tackle one beauty blog post and video edit after another, I suddenly caught a glimpse of my sweet daughter, Chloe, sitting playfully at my vanity. And while there had been many times I’d seen her do this before, for some reason it was this time that I suddenly felt something catch in my throat.

I set my laptop down for a moment and just watched, taking in every single innocent moment after the next, watching her imitate what she’d seen me do day after day most of her life.

The warm tears slipped from my eyes, as I suddenly realized all that I truly longed to teach her about beauty.

There was so much more than the blushes and lipsticks before her (although, yes, I do plan to teach her a thing or two when it comes to those), that I needed her to know. There was so much more about beauty that I longed for her to understand.

I quickly picked my laptop back up and with a steady stream of tears and an open prayerful heart, I poured out the words I needed her to know, and more importantly, needed to be sure I was living myself as well.

It’s that night, that letter, that changed the way I would ever approach the topic of beauty again both here and on my YouTube channel, and it is the reason I wanted to write even more on the topic over at The Better Mom today.

Whether you’re a mama to a daughter, an auntie to a neice, a mentor to a little girl in your life, or even if you’re simply someone who often longs for more meaning in your search for beauty…I encourage you to head over to The Better Mom and read today’s post on Blending Beauty with Grace: The Greatest Truths We Can Ever Know About Beauty.



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health, fitness & weight loss tips & tricks + what i eat in a day + body dysmorphia

There’s something about the time change that reminds me that the hibernation months are coming to an end, and the Spring/Summer fashion and trends are about begin.  Which basically, in my mind, means it’s time to shed the winter layers…and I don’t necessarily mean in terms of fashion.

I was excited to make this video documenting what I’m doing myself to lose these last few-ish lbs, but I couldn’t jump right in without first sharing my journey through health, fitness, and my own real life struggles with weight and body dysmorphia.  My 20’s were incredibly rough for so many reasons, but the hold that my body and weight had on my happiness, is one of my saddest memories of all.

And so…without going into more detail…here is a little about what I’ve walked through, what I’ve learned, and how Im going about making the last changes to getting healthy once and for all.

Side note: My sweet friend Abby from Color Swept Beauty and I did this fun collab to help inspire you guys to get in shape for the upcoming Spring & Summer months!!! We each took a different approach to sharing our tips & tricks, so go over and check her video & channel out next and be sure to subscribe!!!

Don’t forget to leave a comment sharing your own tips & tricks as well!!!
*Sorry for the bad lighting guys! I was trying to escape the noise of my kids! =)

Tracy Anderson Q&A Part 1
Tracy Anderson Q&A Part 2

As always thank you all so much for supporting me by liking, subscribing & continuing to watch!!! I love that we are in this together, building a fun & supportive community and friendship!!! xo

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what we need to teach our daughters about beauty

What I hope we teach our daughters about beauty…

My Beautiful Sweet Baby Girl,

As your mama there are so many things I want to teach you about life and love, and there are so many things I long to protect you from in those areas as well. I look at what I’ve walked through, what I’ve learned from, what I’m noticing even now…and I just want to pour it all into your soul so that you can skip the confusion and pain it sometimes takes to learn.

But, the truth is, that isn’t always the way life works. You will walk, you will stumble and at times you will flat out fall, and in the midst of it all, I trust you will learn your own beautiful lessons as well. What I can do, what God has given me the job to do, is simply share what He’s shown me and hope that as you find your way, the lessons I’ve passed on will better help you to more easily get back up and give you the push to continue on.

You may only be 5, but we talk quite often about beauty. I hear you say you wish you looked like some of your little friends from your preschool class, or how you long to have a cute voice like our sweet sounding dentist. I see you noticing the beauty around you, and while I love that, it aches me to hear it paired with comparison.

You love to watch me when I’m spending time playing with or applying my makeup, and every time you beg me to make you over as well, saying, “Make me pretty too, mom!” And what do I always tell you? I say, “You are beautiful no matter what, Chloe, makeup or not…because God created you perfectly so.”


I don’t just say that because that’s what mommies are supposed to say, I say that because it’s one of the most absolute truths I could ever share with you.  You are perfectly beautiful to me.  And even more so to the one who created you.

But, there’s so much more I want you to understand about beauty, my sweet girl. So much more I need you to remember, because I know it will allow you to live and love and see God in ways you’d never imagine.  I may teach you many makeup and fashion tips and tricks along the way, but what I always want you to remember about beauty is what God has been busy at work showing me throughout my life.

~ Find the beauty in everything, and everyone.  Make it a habit, or maybe even a game, to see how far you can take this. Find it in the people who hurt you, in the dark moments or days that will come or have passed.  Beauty is in all things, because God is in all things. When you find the fingerprint of Him, you’ve happened upon the truest form of beauty.

~ Enjoy the process and all the moments involved when you’re creating, just as much as you enjoy the final creation.  Do this in all areas, in all the things you do, and you’ll experience life in a way many will sadly miss out on.  Creating is just as beautiful as the creation.

~ Remember that what truly shines through is what we most spend our time on. Whatever amount of time you spend on the skin you’re in, quadruple that on the time you invest making your insides even better. The saying is true, true beauty shines from the inside out.

~ While hair and makeup and fashion is fun, the true beauty is the power it has to connect us. Many times, in many ways, I’ve witnessed the bond women form over beauty.  Whether it’s sitting for hours getting braids in the Dominican Republic or getting bleach blonde highlights in Southern California, I continually notice that in those moments there is often times sharing, laughing, connecting…and more importantly, healing. It can seem so surface, and many will say that it is.  But if you’re careful to observe, you’ll see that sometimes the secular things in life, done right, can open hearts to see Him.  Don’t miss that sweet girl.

~ Always keep your perspective, because your heart is what defines worship. Our dear friend and pastor, Matt Smith, recently shared that just as every holy activity can become godless with the wrong heart, so can every neutral activity become worshipful with the right heart.  There is no difference between what is sacred and secular. The difference is your heart.


~ Don’t get so caught up in all that glitters…that you miss what it’s truly all for.
Shared Moments.
Healed Hearts.

Keep your perspective, maintain a heart of worship, and do it all for the glory of Him.  It’s okay to love beauty. It’s okay to long for beauty. It’s okay to want to share and delight in the beauty of life and people and things around you.
But, never forget who created it.
And never forget what He created you for.

Make beauty.
Be Beauty.
And do it all with a heart of worship.

I love you baby girl, with all my heart.

your mama

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My Journey Through the Tracy Anderson 30 Day Challenge

I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something I start.
That I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
That I am worth 30 days of getting clean and healthy, without ever once allowing numbers to trip me up!

Day 1

Day 2 and a free jumping tips for moms

Day 3, done!

the story behind me (pun intended) and Day 4!

5 workout tips and DAY 5!!!

day 6 & hanger

trading boobs for biceps, day 7

and i was run-nang, days 8 & 9

chub hiding fashion, day 10

weighing in on weighing, day 11!

lets talk about hunger, day 12

always blame pms, days 13 & 14

picture time, day 15!!!!

monday muse fashion, days 16 & 17

wont you take me to….funkytown?  day 18

2 sizes & sweet potato pancakes, day 19

tracy andersons 30 day method, day 20

i’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, days 21 & 22

time to get “things” movin’! day 23

get yourself a sponsor, days 24 & 25

tips on surviving the cleanse, day 2

i got the bug, days 27 & 28

it. is. finished!!!!  days 29 & 30

30 Day Method Survival Guide

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are you a SAD girl? there’s an APP for that.

I used to be a SAD girl.

{also known as a Scale ADdict….}


It used to control my life, my days, my emotions.

Each and every morning I would wake up and right after a good pee, I’d step on that baby and let out a deep breath…hoping in some scientific way that just maybe that breath would release another half a pound.

And then, ever so reluctantly, I would look down and focus in on a number that would then determine exactly how I would feel about myself for the rest of that day.

That three digit number controlled me.

If it was within range of my ideal, I would smile, bounce out of the bathroom and sing a lovely song with the birds outside my window.

If it was above my range, even by a half pound, tears would well up in my eyes and I’d pinch my stomach, my thighs, my arms….and want to crawl back into bed because something was obviously so wrong with me that I couldn’t keep to a “simple” goal.


Can you even imagine such a life?
I bet you can.
Because I know for a fact that I’m not the only SAD girl out there.

This went on for years.
So many mornings wasted.  So many days wasted.  So many TEARS wasted!!!

If you’ve followed me for a length of time, you know my journey through my body image issues….and you know that finally at one point I just decided enough was enough.

So I schlepped my SAD bootie into counseling and decided to face it head on and find healing.


But I didn’t find healing in just the counseling.
I mean it was good, and it was necessary, and I certainly began to understand WHY I had those issues and quite possibly WHERE they came from….but what I didn’t get from it was a cure.

There was no formula written down that allowed me to be free.
I had to find that for myself…and little did I know, there was an APP for that.Action, Prayer, and Patience.

I could no longer WISH to change…I had to take ACTION to change.
And that is when I gave up the scale for good.
While it didn’t fix me instantly by doing so, it was a HUGE catalyst in helping me to let go of the daily struggle I faced.
{along with that, I read Change Your Habits Change Your Life, which also helped tremendously!}

But in order to find strength for those ACTIONS, I needed a lot of PRAYER.
I had little self control when it came to my bad habits, and I definitely accepted that I needed all the spiritual strength I could get.
I knew that God’s hope was for me to see myself through His eyes.
The same eyes I see my own daughter through….and so daily…hourly sometimes, I would lift up my struggles in PRAYER.
And when I did, He was, WITHOUT FAIL, faithful to provide comfort and strength.

Finally, I had to find PATIENCE.
Or rather, I had to pray for PATIENCE.
Since this struggle didn’t come on overnight, I had to come to terms with the fact that it wouldn’t be cured overnight either.
I would never make progress without a little patience and grace.

And now it’s been 6 months since I’ve stepped on a scale and looked at the numbers (i have stepped on the scale at the doctors, but asked them not to tell me)…and I feel that I truly am free from that addiction.  BUT, I am not naive enough to think that I am absolutely healed and cured, and I’m okay with that.  Because I am learning that the best things in life take TIME….and on this I will not give up.

I am far from recovered, yet absolutely reformed.

If you’re thinking you couldn’t do it…that you are destined to be a SAD girl for life…
know this:
I could have NEVER imagined giving it up either.
In fact, I remember my sister telling me she didn’t own a scale one day, and I looked at her like she had a third eye.
Who didn’t own a scale and live by it every single day???

A happy girl, that’s who.


And that’s exactly who I’m becoming each and every day I apply my APP.

I have to ask….
Are you a SAD girl?
Are you finally ready to get the APP and join me in recovery?

It maybe tough…but in the end, I promise you…
The freedom you’ll feel is kind of ahhh mazing.

{obviously there are lots of people out there fully able to weigh daily and be okay and healthy and normal about it.  for those of you, consider yourself blessed, and weigh on!}

*um….i think i found the topic for the book i’ll write one day, ya think?
can you say soapbox?

links are to relevant stories of mine, and in addition here’s more of the story behind me
in case you missed it.

all images via weheartit

© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”

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far from recovered yet absolutely reformed

I absolutely would not be complete without my method of journaling*.
What started as a log of my fights with my sister in 3rd grade, has now transformed into a method of therapy* for me even when I don’t even intend it to be.
I’ll just get this bug that I have to write, honestly and transparently, and I must. do. it. now.
Then I’ll sit and without any premeditation, suddenly it all spills forth*.
My heart writes what my mind can’t speak, and once it’s poured onto paper, sometimes with tears flowing… I’ll set down my pen and breath a deep sigh of relief.
Because suddenly I’ll understand.
Maybe that is true intimacy with God, maybe it’s His way of speaking through me….
but when I have those moments with my journal, it’s a moment treasured and sacred.
Recently, I had a night like that….after months of having not written.
It was shortly after I finished the 30 Day Method, and I had been feeling…unsteady.
I went to my journal, ready for some therapy.
And not 30 minutes later, I felt secure.
Secure in my journey, secure in the lessons, secure in my God.
I had an unbelievable sense of peace.
Reading back over it a couple days ago, I realized that I needed to share it with you guys.
Though those words held close to my heart and soul, were not meant simply for me.
I understand that my struggles are not mine alone.
And we were never meant to walk this road alone.
*{links to other journal entries of mine i’ve shared}
february 4, 2011
I feel as though God has truly been at work in me…molding me and bringing me through some awful yuk on the inside.  
And while I know that I am far from recovered,” especially in light of my body issues….I know in my heart that He has absolutely reformed me.
It’s almost as though I’m coming out of a dark tunnel and I can see the sun ahead and I can see that there is, in fact, an end.  
Then when I look back and see all the darkness that surrounded me and how far back that darkness extends….I can’t help but feel incredibly broken and sad for the girl who’s endured it all.
Yes, I know I am that girl, and that she is still in there somewhere…
and all it could take is one step back, one misstep away from Him, and she’d be back.
But that’s what is different, I won’t ever go back there.
I just can’t.
My life is intended for more.
I understand now and grasp that I will not find lasting happiness in a flat stomach, I will not change lives by being what the glossy pages of magazines say is “perfectly thin.”
I will not fulfill my life’s purpose in striving for physical perfection.
I wasted too many years.
I cried WAY too many tears.
I lost out on so many moments because I’d lost my focus.
It’s all about balance now, finding my balance, which is different than hers or theirs.
I went from one extreme to the next and now I feel my pendulum is swinging towards home.
My home.  
My comfortable place to be.
It feels good and it feels right.
And even though those times were rough and dark and sad, I know God allowed it and I KNOW He will bring beauty from my pain.
{words that feed my soul}

I pray that from my pain, I can bring beauty into the lives of others.
Keeping them from this.
Holding them through this.

And if not for anyone else, at the very least, for my sweet Chloegirl.
It just overwhelms me to see God so incredibly faithful to me.
To see He HAS been working when I honestly believed He wasn’t there, believing He’d just had enough.
But, maybe I believed that because I was the one who, in fact, wasn’t being faithful.
But still…
there He remained.
Loving.  Patient.  Forgiving.
And doing all He could while I did my best to catch up.
So, here I am Lord.
Doing my best.
And as I rely on His truths and on HIS STRENGTH…
I feel more apt to let go of my own self imposed strongholds.
He’s working on me.
I know it.
I feel it.
I welcome it.
And I love it.


Regardless of what it is you struggle with..
whether you think He understands it or not…
I hope you know…
you were NEVER meant to walk it alone.

© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”
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the story behind me (lit-rally) and day 4

I thought I might share a little of my past history, and how it all led up to giving Tracy’s 30 Day Method my all.
If you really want to go back and get deep with me, here’s some reading so ya fully get my “issues.”  
It’ll be like a fun little therapy sesh, ya?
{in order}
But, if you’re not into back reading, or doing therapy with me, then here’s the short version.
In the midst of struggling with some serious body issues and after trying every workout known to man, I happened upon Tracy Anderson on Oprah.  (who’s with me?!?)
I was stunned and in love and ab.so.lu.tely wanted mah, mah, mah.  
{that’s more, more, more with a southern accent} 
I instantly bought her Mat & Dance Workout and worked that magic every single day.  I was hooked from the first moment, and should have absolutely been happy with my results.  I am 5’6 and was able to stay between 122-125 pounds.
But, I had issues.  
You can read more about them in those posts I linked to, but basically, it was a bit of body dismorphia.  Though I was at a healthy weight, I was miserable.  I would cry because I worked out so much and just wasn’t seeing the results I needed.  Only, the results I “needed” weren’t really healthy.  
Or realistic.  
I compared myself to other people, friends, celebrities, the girl in the grocery line, and then inside my head I would stack myself up against them.  And because I saw things in a skewed way, I always fell short.  My thighs still touched, my belly has a soft roundness to it rather than a concave look….It was miserable.  I was miserable.
I was constantly counting calories.
And then discouragement would set in when the scale wouldn’t tip below 120….(which was a goal because I wanted “flex” room to gain weight)….and so I would go on a little junk food binge, thinking “well, I’m already big, why not enjoy it?”  I wouldn’t go to too crazy, but a few bowls of sugar cereal and piece of chocolate cake may have happened a few times.  Or not.  And it may have followed cheese pizza and breadsticks.  Maybe.  
I had been weighing in daily, allowing my weight to determine whether I would be happy that day or not….and 9 times out of 10, it wasn’t what I wanted, and I’d get off the scale in tears.
Finally a year ago on my 31st birthday, I hit I guess what you’d call my rock bottom.  
I’d been having a pity party all morning and afternoon dreading my party because I would be eating out and unable to count calories.  And then I started to think ahead to the holidays (which are after my birthday), wondering how one earth I’d be able to resist all the food and sweets they’d have to offer? {I’ve never been one to say no to sweets….and then especially not the one to say no to the three or four or ten after}  I’d surely become fat and disgusting…
 I laid in bed most of that day and just cried.  I absolutely sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.  
{and I may have had an amazing box of Vons chocolate chip cookies with me.  And okay, maybe pizza too.}  
But when my tears had cried out all the pain I’d been carrying over the years, something within me became determined.
This had to change.  
I had kids.
I especially had to think of my daughter, who would be learning from me…watching me.
I had to step up, take responsibility and do the work to get better.  
I was NOT going to continue on this way.
So, I called a counselor and made my first appointment for January and began the process towards growth and healing.
It took a lot of work. 
I read a lot of books (which are in my previous posts), did a lot of praying, and had a lot of people pray for me.
The change was gradual.
I’d notice little things here and there, but it wasn’t until October that I finally just let it all go.
I stopped counting calories.  I stopped working out.  And I ate.  Whatever I wanted, and I didn’t care.
I saw my muscles turn soft, and my thighs and tummy fill out.  I saw cellulite in places I never knew it could exist, and I really didn’t care.
I didn’t cry.  I didn’t weigh myself.  I didn’t think I was disgusting and stay in bed…
I was totally okay.  
I was happy, despite my body!
And that is HUGE for me, you guys.  
What may seem so normal to you was a turning point for me.
And while I am still happy….I finally came to realize enough was enough.
And that was about the time that my fat pants stopped fitting, and my underarm skin started to wave when I really never meant to say hi.  
But more than anything, I just started to feel yuk.  
I wasn’t comfortable in my skin, and for once, it had nothing to do with a number on the scale.  
That’s when I decided I was ready to do the 30 Day Method.  
Because after eating all of the DANGER foods to my hearts content and not working out a lick, I realized it wasn’t really what I wanted.  
Who’d have thought that gluttony isn’t all that great at the end of the day?
{oh ya, think that was Jesus…}  
Or two to three months in my case.  
I knew that giving up that stuff wouldn’t be a sacrifice, because I was over. it.  
{what’s up with this short version turning into a novel?!?  I mean, my word!}
Anyway, I could go into A LOT more detail, but I’m thinking I should save it for my memoir. 
{you’ll buy it, won’t you?} 
I think you get the point anyway.
Let’s get to Day 4….and I really will try to make this short.
I took all three supplements!  
Think I’m getting the hang of it.
I’ll only report from now on if I don’t.
Woke up a little light headed and actually had to open the fridge and sit on the ledge for a moment.  {can’t be hot flashes yet!}  
So, I decided I needed to eat breakfast pronto.  Fresh berries: strawberries, blueberries, and pomegranate seeds.  
To die for.  
Snack was amazing.  And it was really hard to stop and save some for the afternoon, but I did…because I care about metabolism.  I just do.
Lunch was exactly what I needed, and super easy to make, and I did it ALL BY MYSELF!  
{usually Jimmy helps me, I can’t even make a grilled cheese!}
And then dinner was absolutely incredible!  And incredibly small…
I’m pretty sure I can never eat chicken without mango and tomatoes ever again.  So good.  Mmmm mmmm mmmmm.
The hunger was present at times throughout the day, but nothing that turned my mood, which is step in the right direction.  
Hanger is not attractive.
Once again, I didn’t wake up sore, so I decided today was the day I would up the reps to 40.  The first side was manageable, the second side took some determination.  And then, again, I did the arm section twice.  For cardio, I did the book sequences on the trampoline, and then the Thanksgiving Cardio twice on the ground.  Holy hardness. {that’s what she said.}  I decided that since my legs seemed all confused yesterday, it might be better to show them what’s up on the same day.  How’s THAT for muscle confusion?!?
I’d say the workout totaled 1 hour 45 minutes, which is my max time frame, as Chloe was awake and in my way the last 15 minutes…
So instead of adding reps, I’ll have to add ankle weights instead.
So far I have COMPLETELY stuck by the rules with no cheats or additional bites or unsupposed to drinks.
And it feels OH so good.
I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something I start.
That I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
That I am worth 30 days of getting clean and healthy.
Without ever once allowing numbers to trip me up!
And besides, Tracy IS the boss of me, so what she says goes.
So excited that you guys are here reading and some of you even (love ya Robyn!) are doing it with me…and I’m just so so in love with every last one of you for all your support!  
Smackin’ it to ya.
My word, I’m wordy tonight.
{tomorrow I have some snazzy tips for ya…should most def. be helpful!}
….and because I feel this was a bit heavy, maybe you should read this post for a laugh.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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i let go of the numbers

It’s almost the New Year!!!

{i know, i know….it’s not even christmas yet…but i was hoping this post would help us focus on what’s most important all through christmas and beyond.}

And you guys know that I kind of adore the New Year.  
I think I get more excited about it than any other time of year.  
It’s that feeling of starting afresh.  
Beginning anew.  
Starting over. 
Ahhhhh, sounds lovely right?
Last year Jimmy and I sat down and made lists of our goals for 2010, and as I was going over it last week I was thrilled as I realized I was able to cross off the majority of the stuff!!!  
My biggest thing I think was my body issues and dealing with them once and for all.  
I was SO over the inner drama going on, and I absolutely DID NOT want that ish touching my own kids and knowing that they learned it from me.
I wanted to find balance.  
I wanted to find inner acceptance.  
I wanted to kick that mean girl inner talk to the curb, and finally find some peace.
So I read a lot of books.
I went to a lot of counseling.
And I did a ton of writing letters that in the end were never sent, but absolutely needed to be written.
And ever so slowly, I began to heal.
It’s now been a year and oh ma word, I have come SO far.
Just one of the ways I can tell is because it’s been months since I’ve stepped on a scale.  
And I love that I don’t know how much I weigh.
Yes, I still love to work out and Tracy Anderson is still my best friend (tracy, call me, lets talk!) but if I miss a day or a week, I don’t freak.
Eating healthy is still a goal during the week, but on the weekends I let loose and enjoy because I can.
My body is far from perfect, and I don’t care.
I’ve certainly let a little more loose in the last few months than my jeans care to be okay with, but where in the past I would cry and detest myself and refuse to leave the house….
Now I know it’s a matter of getting back on track for a month or so, and all will be well again.
My biggest lesson?
I’ve realized that it’s more important to let go of the numbers, and focus on finding happiness.
I used to only determine if I was happy as long as the numbers added up.
If they didn’t, my mood would plummet and the whole vicious cycle would begin again.
I mean literally if my weight changed by one or two pounds….
my world could be sunny or it could be dark.
So not okay.
{by the way, that worked with my blog too….when i stopped caring about how many comments and followers and stats, writing became joyful again.  when i stopped looking at the numbers, my blog became my haven again.  funny how that works.  and now that i think about it, that advice goes with ANYTHING.  i mean, what if we NEVER knew how many, how much, how long…and it was simply asked, “and how happy are you really?”  Measure your life by how happy and CONTENT you are and never by the numbers.  Period.}
And so because I like my jeans and I really quite like my clothes, and I’m SO not a fan of the underarm jiggle, in the New Year I am going to finally begin AND complete the 30 Day Method.  
Because I want to be healthy.
Only this time I’m doing it different.
I’m not paying attention to the numbers.
{that’s what got me last time}
In fact, I’m not even going to look at numbers.
No measuring.  No weighing.  No counting calories.
In fact, who knows, I may never weigh again.
I want to be able to just look in the mirror and be okay with what I see.
I want to know by the fit of my clothes (which are not nor will ever be size 0’s) what works and what doesn’t….
I want to live in my own little world being happy because I’m content.
And not because numbers say I should or shouldn’t be.

I want my world to be bigger and more meaningful than my body and the numbers that go along with it.
More than that I want my happiness in life to have NOTHING to do with numbers ever.
I want to not care how much I weigh, how much you weigh, how much that cost, how much he makes, how big or little, how long or short…
I want to only see the joy.
The freedom.
In you.
In me.

Who’s with me?

 *edited to add…
As I walked away from this post and let it settle within me, I was struck with something I couldn’t forget to add.
My heart didn’t feel complete with the simple, are you happy and that’s all that matters.
Because it’s so much more than US.
We are a nation centered around our own happiness.
What goes beyond numbers…
what goes beyond our inner happiness…
is this.
What will they say about you when you die?

© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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mid early thirties

When I was 24 I was kinda freaking out that I was about to be in my mid 20’s.  
I was all, WOAH, stop the bus and let me off…
I may have even bought a book titled something like, Quarter Life Crisis.
Yup, I’m the ONE person who bought that book.
And then the second half of my 20’s came and went and something changed.
{or maybe the quarter life crisis just passed on it’s merry way?}
Because I actually became EXCITED about turning 30.
Maybe Oprah has something to do with it.  I mean, doesn’t she always?

Today I turn 32.
I am officially in my mid early thirties, and I’m actually more excited about it then I was when I turned 30.

I just adore getting older.
Weird, right?
I know that may not ALWAYS be the case, but it is for the moment, and I am embracing it.
And what’s really odd is that my 30’s haven’t been all that easy.
I’ve had to make some difficult decisions.
I’ve had to say some goodbye’s that were harder than I ever imagined.
I’ve had to sit with a professional and discuss some issues that weren’t easy to face.
I’ve had to realize that things and relationships aren’t always what they have seemed.
I’ve loved …
and lost.
But, I think that’s what I love about aging, and what has been the great thing about my 30’s.
It has brought me courage.
Courage to stand up for myself.
Courage to acknowledge when things need to change.
Courage to say goodbye to what isn’t working, and courage to fall forward towards change.
Courage to embrace change.
Courage to face the truth…
even if it’s not easy.

I may not a whole lot calmer.
But I am a little.
I may not be a whole lot wiser.
But I am a little.

And that’s enough for me.

So here’s to another birthday.
Here’s to another year.
Here’s to getting older.


© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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It means so much that you are here! I know life gets busy though, so if you don't want to miss a thing, I invite you to subscribe to my blog through email!