what we need to teach our daughters about beauty

What I hope we teach our daughters about beauty…

My Beautiful Sweet Baby Girl,

As your mama there are so many things I want to teach you about life and love, and there are so many things I long to protect you from in those areas as well. I look at what I’ve walked through, what I’ve learned from, what I’m noticing even now…and I just want to pour it all into your soul so that you can skip the confusion and pain it sometimes takes to learn.

But, the truth is, that isn’t always the way life works. You will walk, you will stumble and at times you will flat out fall, and in the midst of it all, I trust you will learn your own beautiful lessons as well. What I can do, what God has given me the job to do, is simply share what He’s shown me and hope that as you find your way, the lessons I’ve passed on will better help you to more easily get back up and give you the push to continue on.

You may only be 5, but we talk quite often about beauty. I hear you say you wish you looked like some of your little friends from your preschool class, or how you long to have a cute voice like our sweet sounding dentist. I see you noticing the beauty around you, and while I love that, it aches me to hear it paired with comparison.

You love to watch me when I’m spending time playing with or applying my makeup, and every time you beg me to make you over as well, saying, “Make me pretty too, mom!” And what do I always tell you? I say, “You are beautiful no matter what, Chloe, makeup or not…because God created you perfectly so.”


I don’t just say that because that’s what mommies are supposed to say, I say that because it’s one of the most absolute truths I could ever share with you.  You are perfectly beautiful to me.  And even more so to the one who created you.

But, there’s so much more I want you to understand about beauty, my sweet girl. So much more I need you to remember, because I know it will allow you to live and love and see God in ways you’d never imagine.  I may teach you many makeup and fashion tips and tricks along the way, but what I always want you to remember about beauty is what God has been busy at work showing me throughout my life.

~ Find the beauty in everything, and everyone.  Make it a habit, or maybe even a game, to see how far you can take this. Find it in the people who hurt you, in the dark moments or days that will come or have passed.  Beauty is in all things, because God is in all things. When you find the fingerprint of Him, you’ve happened upon the truest form of beauty.

~ Enjoy the process and all the moments involved when you’re creating, just as much as you enjoy the final creation.  Do this in all areas, in all the things you do, and you’ll experience life in a way many will sadly miss out on.  Creating is just as beautiful as the creation.

~ Remember that what truly shines through is what we most spend our time on. Whatever amount of time you spend on the skin you’re in, quadruple that on the time you invest making your insides even better. The saying is true, true beauty shines from the inside out.

~ While hair and makeup and fashion is fun, the true beauty is the power it has to connect us. Many times, in many ways, I’ve witnessed the bond women form over beauty.  Whether it’s sitting for hours getting braids in the Dominican Republic or getting bleach blonde highlights in Southern California, I continually notice that in those moments there is often times sharing, laughing, connecting…and more importantly, healing. It can seem so surface, and many will say that it is.  But if you’re careful to observe, you’ll see that sometimes the secular things in life, done right, can open hearts to see Him.  Don’t miss that sweet girl.

~ Always keep your perspective, because your heart is what defines worship. Our dear friend and pastor, Matt Smith, recently shared that just as every holy activity can become godless with the wrong heart, so can every neutral activity become worshipful with the right heart.  There is no difference between what is sacred and secular. The difference is your heart.


~ Don’t get so caught up in all that glitters…that you miss what it’s truly all for.
Shared Moments.
Healed Hearts.

Keep your perspective, maintain a heart of worship, and do it all for the glory of Him.  It’s okay to love beauty. It’s okay to long for beauty. It’s okay to want to share and delight in the beauty of life and people and things around you.
But, never forget who created it.
And never forget what He created you for.

Make beauty.
Be Beauty.
And do it all with a heart of worship.

I love you baby girl, with all my heart.

your mama

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  1. Love that quote and love you!! Great post!

  2. Kristin Renee says:

    AMEN! Oh my, this had me so choked up! I have an 8 year old girl and an almost 4 year old girl. I agree that it is so important to impart all this. It hurts my heart to think that they might grow up feeling about beauty the way I did. So dysfunctional. I hated the way I look for so long, and definitely assessed my value by it. I want better for them. The way their Father in Heaven defines beauty and the way He values them unconditionally- that’s what I long to teach them. Thanks for sharing this Summer! YOU are beautiful! <3 Kristin

  3. Yes!!! Thank you for taking time to pen these words. After having boys for 8 years, and now, I have my first daughter… parenting all feels brand new again. I have a DAUGHTER. I already am being awakened to thoughts about beauty that are in error… and seeking God’s truths over them all. I think that all of my life, I have been seeking beauty… but with each year that passes, I realize that all this time I have been seeking capital B Beauty.

  4. Awww, thank you so much for saying that. xo

    *SUMMER*SALDANA ~ *Freelance Writer*
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  1. […] And it’s those precious moments when I watch my sweet little girl sitting at my vanity, playing with my makeup, that I realize more than ever, that as women, mamas, and mentors, we have such a great responsibility to teach these little ones the truth about beauty. […]