I haven’t gotten too deep around here lately.
Mostly, I’ve been pouring my heart into reading and studying and praying….and reflecting.
Trying to process where I am and what God is saying to me.
Remember when I was saying a few weeks back that I had a fleeting moment where I felt that things were about to change and I didn’t know how or why?
But, I think I’m beginning to see just a little of what He’s up to.
Thankfully God knows how much (or how little) I can handle, and so he reveals things in slivers.
{fragile little flower that I am.}
and trust me, it’s sometimes even strange to me.
I’ve been a believer for almost all my life.
But, I’ve had moments of doubt and wonder and testing of my faith and beliefs, and in the end I’ve always trusted and known deep down, God is real.
And then I continued on with my life.
My faith and God have always been a part of my life.
I search for things to keep me busy and keep my attention, hobbies that bring me joy and pleasure, and then where there’s room, I allow my christian life and activities to fill in the gaps.
I didn’t realize all this time that I wasn’t quite getting it right.
I looked around my christian circle and it seemed like it was just what it was supposed to be.
But all this time, all my life, there has always been a stirring in my heart for more.
I just haven’t ever been…at peace.
And I know that until I see Jesus face to face, this is a feeling I will always struggle with, but still….I knew in this life, there HAD to be more.
Recently, I’ve been praying a lot…
Reading a lot….
Studying and listening and worshipping, and trying my absolute best to be OPEN to what God wants for me and my life and my family.
I’ve kept quiet mostly through all of this.
I’m hesitant to say more more (as though this hasn’t been long enough), but I needed to share where I’ve been and where I am.
with all my heart, with all my love, with all my life….
I have NO idea where I will be next month, in the next year, or in the next ten years.
But I know a seed has been planted in both mine and Jimmy’s heart….
and I had to share.
I need to be held accountable to this…
And so ready.
Ready to go and do.
When it’s time.
I will hold you accountable to this!
I just started reading this blog and it speaks to me in so many ways! I wish I could have coffee with you. I love your genuine spirit and heart it is truly reflected in your writing and willingness to be real:)