Hi guys! Let’s just get the basics out of the way.
I’m Ali, I come all the way from The Way I See It (it really was nothing, especially because it’s for Summer) and I’m really stoked to be guest posting on one of the most stylish, real and honest bloggers I know.
Oh yeah, she’s really pretty too.
But we knew all this, right?
Otherwise, whatchu doin’ here (said in the tone of, “Whatchu talkin’ about, Willis?!”)?
Oy, I’m digressing already and have barely begun to write.
Onward.
I was driving in my car the other day, rattling my brain about what to write about.
I don’t know about you, but guest posts intimidate me a bit.
I mean, I love doing them but then there’s that whole, what the heck am I gonna write about…thang.
But then it hit me.
And in the name of honesty, I’m just gonna throw it out there.
I was first drawn to Summer’s blog because she opened up about an issue that I still, to this day, find very hard to do myself: body image.
I’m gonna make an ass out of you and me and assume that the majority of Summer’s readers are women.
My point?
We all deal with it on some level or another, some more than others and some less
(POWER. TO. YOU.).
Unfortunately, I am not the latter of those people.
Now, don’t go thinking this is a “woe is me” post, because it’s not.
This is an aspect of me that I’ve rarely, if ever, discussed until now.
I’ve been told that my blog is very optimistic, cheery and happy.
But today, I’m revealing a different side of myself.
Blame it on Summer; she brings out the real in me. 🙂
I’ve always been aware of my weight.
Growing up, I was the rotund girl, the one who still had her baby fat at 13.
And I knew it.
The group of girls I hung out with were not built like me.
Instead, they were thin, could eat whatever they wanted and just looked good doing it.
That’s not to say that I was constantly down on myself growing up.
It was more that I accepted it despite the fact that I wasn’t crazy about it, lost a few pounds throughout the years (I’m looking at you, Weight Watchers!) and lived my off and on rotund little life.
Then college came around.
I was a Drama major.
Image is key in that department.
I also lived with an old friend who fell victim to that image.
Without getting too much into that, I’ll just say that I vowed to never be crazy that way.
But somehow, without even knowing it (seriously), I began counting calories, working out more than usual and just plain going crazy.
It was gradual at first — I’d come home from school one weekend to a worried mother.
It went from “you’ve lost more weight” to “you’re getting thinner, Ali” to finally “okay, stop losing weight.”
But I didn’t.
I loved the feeling of being noticed, even if it was for something negative.
That thing was, I never once stopped eating.
In fact, I ate more than I had before it all happened.
But more than anything, it was my mentality that suffered the most.
My life was consumed by what I was putting in my mouth and how much of it I was working off.
My social life began to dwindle because I didn’t want to go out to eat with friends.
I didn’t want to be called out on what I was eating or anything of the sort.
My sister will tell you to this day that I looked sickly, I will tell you to this day that I disagree.
Despite the decreasing numbers on the scale, I still saw myself as that pudgy girl.
That was in college, about 3 years ago.
I am proud to say that I am no longer as crazy as I used to be.
Still a bit wacko, of course (I’m a woman, aren’t we all in our own special ways?).
But since that time, I have managed to reach a point where I don’t need to weigh myself all the time, I eat everything in moderation, and I work out and — get this — enjoy it.
My ridiculous fears of falling off the wagon and reverting back to that rotund little girl are still there, but not nearly as present as they used to be.
Here’s my theory:
God gave me the body he did for a reason.
My job is to keep it healthy, strong and remind it that it’s beautiful.
He gave this particular body to me and me alone.
Like I said, this is a topic that, aside from my family, I never discuss.
But I feel that by sharing some bits and pieces of my struggle with body image, maybe someone, somewhere will be able to relate.
Relate and appreciate that they’re not alone.
Whoa.
Bit of a heavy post for a Tuesday, huh?
Didn’t see that one coming!
In other news, thank you so much for reading, thank you Summer for letting me take over your fab blog for today. And hey, anyone and everyone…come over and say hello!
You’re always welcome.
All my love, A
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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Ali! You did a great job. This is something that I think every woman has or is struggling with to some degree, and I think that we all feel we are alone, but we’re not. I’m really glad you have found a healthy balance for yourself. 🙂
I LOVE this post…
I love your honesty and NOTHING is too heavy for a Tuesday right?! Right!!!
Great post. I agree, God gave you that body for a reason keep it strong and running for him!
I looove this post too! Ali, you are a beautiful and gifted writer and I could tell this really came from your heart. Bravo. I also struggle with my body and trying to stay and or get thin. I am not entirely focused on it, but I should say it is hard to stay fit and lose weight. I need to be better about eating in moderation and taking care of my body, it is a continuous effort. Thanks for your vulnerability, xoxo.
whoa ali…that was a serious post but i loved reading this side of you.
as an outsider and avid reader of your blog, i think you’re perfect just the way you are. we are definitely our own worst enemy. i know i am mine. but as i’ve gotten older, i’ve learned to appreciate the way i am….short and all.
great post on a great blog.
ps. hi summer!
Oh Ali, I just love this post. Kudos to you for being open! And yes, we do all deal with this to some extent. It took me a little longer than you to get to the point where I accept (and some days love) my body just the way it is.
And from someone who got to check you out IRL, you are one BEAUTIFUL little lady and don’t you forget it!
My favorite quote: “God gave me the body he did for a reason. My job is to keep it healthy, strong and remind it that it’s beautiful.”
I’ll keep that tucked away for the days I need that reminder 🙂 Love you! XOXO
Way to go, Ali. Even though it makes me sad to know you’ve struggled, I’m proud of you for working hard to overcome it. I think you’re an amazing lady, but you already know that. Love you, girl!
Ali, what a beautifully honest and well-written post. You are brave to come out about your past body insecurities. I know I certainly struggled with it when I was a pre-teen. I’m happy to hear you’ve overcome it and enjoy working out! 🙂
Loved this post! I could not agree more with you about everything :)I’ve been struggling with my weight since I started college about 7 years ago and right now I am trying to get back on the right track.
I’ve done the crash diets, the diet pills, the excessive exercise and not eating but now I am past that. I’ve found something that works for me and I’m finally going to stick with it!
I love that I have found amazing bloggers who have gone through the same thing and they are willing to talk about it.
Thanks for sharing something so personal with us… I’d never have guessed from what I gather from your blog! I love what you said… “Here’s my theory: God gave me the body he did for a reason. My job is to keep it healthy, strong and remind it that it’s beautiful. He gave this particular body to me and me alone.” I love love love it!
Ali, like other commenters said, I would have never guessed this about you. You are just bursting with confidence and positivity. Thank you for being so honest. I think it’s proof that none of us are immune to the pressures of society and friends. You are BEAUTIFUL! Please know that.
I think more of us can probably relate to this post than not!