Archives for December 2012

Sometimes I don’t feel like being open.
Sometimes I want to keep everything inside and stew on it and process it and pray about it and not feel the need to write or talk or share.

And so I don’t.
I close up.
I keep to myself.
And I get quiet.

I’ve been awfully quiet lately.

I guess it’s just me… 
Taking a minute to assess everything around me and making sure that I’m really on the right path in all the ways God wants for me.

I want to be intentional with my blog.
I want to have a clear purpose when I write.

I want to always keep this going for the right reasons.

I love that I get to write for my job.
And I love that my blog has been a platform to me getting there….
I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given.
And especially thankful for the relationships and friendships that have developed.
Most of my best friends have come into my life because of open hearts and shared stories.

And I have to keep that in perspective during these times when I just don’t much feel like writing….deep or not.
And especially when I feel the pressure to keep up posts simply for page views or numbers and stats for all the ones who ask for them.

I have to remember that life is actually happening and it’s not always about documenting it all immediately or right there in the moment of it all.
And I need to give myself permission more often to take a moment and just experience it all where it’s meant to be experienced…

Writing is my way to healing.

Sometimes it’s in the moment.

But I think right now…
                           it’s in the afterthoughts….

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”

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These last few months, as I have shared, have been insane for me.  I have changed everything in my world, and therefore everything in my world has been affected because of it.  While some relationships have grown stronger, there are others that have suffered.  I’ve let go of a lot of things and relationships that mean a lot to me in order to simply get through all that is going on.

I’m easily distracted.

The shooting at Sandy Hook has had more shaken up then I’ve ever been with a school shooting.  Every day since, there have been tears.  I listen to the stories of the children and what they went through and my heart literally aches.  Without intention I instantly and constantly imagine my own 7 year old son in their place experiencing that kind of fear and trauma, and simply the thought is too much to bear.

I can’t imagine living it.

I think it’s hit all of America pretty hard.  And while it’s a horrific thing to witness around Christmas time, it’s also served as a bit of a wake up call to really make the most of every moment we have with the ones we love and care about.

And so with these last two weeks of the year that is exactly what I’m going to do.

I’ve decided to set aside the busy and simply enjoy every moment I have left this season with my family and friends.

I need to be intentional.
I have to be present.

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It started with wanting to buy a Beta fish with his own money.  As he started adding up all the costs trying to see if he had enough, I reminded him to include the tax.

As it turned out, tax made it a little out of his budget, so super mom stepped in and saved the day.

Once we got in the car, the deep discussion began.

Keep in mind, he’s 7.

T:  “Mom, taxes are what the government takes from us so they have money, right?”

S:  “Basically, yes.”

T: “Man, I wish I was the government.  Then I would have soooo much money.  I bet they probably have trillions of dollars.”

S:  “Well, Taylor.  The government isn’t just one person, it’s a whole lot of people who use that money to build schools, bridges, signs, roads…all the stuff we’re seeing right now is paid for with our taxes.  So, it’s not like they just pocket the money.”

T:  “Oooooh, I see.  So they don’t get to keep it all…  But still, they must have so much money!!  I guess being in the government must be a very important job.”

S:  “It is.  Unfortunately, though, they don’t have any money really.  Our country is trillions of dollars in debt.  The government keeps spending money they don’t have and then having to borrow it, so now they owe a whole lot of money and it just keeps getting worse.”

Silence.

From Taylor…
“Mom.  That seems like a REALLY big problem!  What is the President going to do to fix this?”

S:  “Well, he’s raising taxes….and then continuing to spend money we don’t have.”

T:  “What the heck is he spending it on?  Doesn’t he know he shouldn’t spend money he doesn’t have???”

S:  “That’s a really good question, and one a lot of people want to know.  But the truth is, we don’t know where he’s spending it all.”

Silence.

From Taylor…
“This is exactly why I wanted Mitt Romney to win.”

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”

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