Archives for January 2011

chub hiding fashion, day 10!

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and trying to find my inner fierce….
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{mmm, not quite….}
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{there we go!}
Before I talk about fashion, let me be clear that as soon as these pictures were taken, I trimmed my bangs.
Didn’t want you to worry.
Moving on.
So this is my secret on how I hide the chub.
The rolls.
The flab.
Whatever you wanna call it.
Keep it cute, but keep it loose, especially around the trouble areas.
Mine happen to be my thighs, tum tum, and arms.
We have what we call the “lindley” arms on my mom’s side of the family.
And so far Tracy is the only one coming between me and my “lindley.”
So.
These pants have been with me for years and years…
through two pregnancies, 
through 30+ pounds gained and lost, 
and no matter what size I’ve been…
they always fit.
I don’t care if they showed up on the DO NOT WEAR list in US Weekly, 
they would still grace my body, 
and I would love them no less.
Now, obviously I can’t wear these EVERY day, 
but every other works out quite nicely.
Kidding.
Sometimes.
As for the shirt, I love it so because it has lots of fabric around the arms, thus eliminating anyone from being waved at by my underarms.
Not to mention, I happen to think it’s totally adorable.
Pair it with a pop of color, funky leopard shoes, and my fave chunky necklace from World Market and wa la.  
An outfit that’s comfy, cozy, cute and totally hiding all my danger zones.
Another trick I use when I feel less than fit, is the tunic/jeans or legging look.
Something like this:
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or this:
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{with a leopard jacket over it}
So you see, hiding chub and having style is something that can be done.
And should be done.
Because it makes you feel SO much better.
Says the girl in her husbands white hanes t-shirt and drawstring sweats.
Ahem.
~update~
Going strong, still!
{no cheats, no changes, all by tracys rules}
Today was one of the best days so far.
I felt like I had boundless energy and I was seriously in the best mood all day.
{when i called bethany for my 8am check in, her first response to my “good morning!” was, “oh!  someone’s happy!”}
I think knowing the first 10 days are over helped in a major way!
And that’s my BIG encouragement for you all thinking of doing this.
If you can promise yourself the first five days following Tracy’s rules to the T….
you will overcome the HARDEST part.
And after the first five days, you won’t WANT to quit!
I promise.
The first five days were the hardest.
Breaking the diet coke/sugar addiction.
Trying new foods.
Cooking every day.
Feeling the hunger pangs while my stomach had to shrink from all the overeating I had done.
{sounds fun, ya?  i know, makes you TOTALLY want to do it…}
Now?
It’s becoming a habit, and I don’t even consider that cheating is option.
My cravings are decreasing, and my pallet is increasing….
I have fallen into a rhythm of making my meals the day before whenever I have some free time.
And working out is now something fun rather than a burden.
Okay, some days it starts as a burden, but as soon as I get into it, I’m sooo relieved I showed up.
And that’s just 10 days in, you guys.
Food:
Today’s food was actually pretty satisfying.
I was a bit confused by the TWO oranges and TWO grapefruits for breakfast, so I decided that one and one seemed more appropriate.
And actually it was just the right amount.
I didn’t think I was going to dig the veggies & dip, but I actually liked it.
Except for the jicama.
Can I just say that jicama is way more fun to say than it is to eat?
But I dipped away, ate, swallowed and chased every bite with water until I got them all down.
The good thing was it didn’t make gag, so that’s a plus.
Lunch and dinner….yum.
Although, leek?
Who eats leek and why?
I mean, I ate it, but I’d be okay if I didn’t have to again.
Tomorrow I am more than ecstatic about choco-blueberry pudding.
Not so ecstatic about the exact same dinner as tonight.
What’s that about?
I mean, not that I’m questioning Tracy or anything…
but to question Tracy, 
why is that?
workout:
LAST DAY OF THE 1st SEQUENCE!!!
And I finished with a bang.  
40 reps of all with ankle weights and 7 minutes of arms, followed by 45 minutes of trampoline dancing since my shins are still in the healing process.
Plus, I think I’m actually a better dancer on the trampoline than the floor anyway.
I still have yet to attempt the jeans.
But, I did think that maybe tomorrow I would attempt my fat pants, since even those were tight before I started this plan.
Baby steps for this lil gal.
I’ll keep you posted.
p.s.
tomorrow you’ll be “meeting” bethany…my 30 day partner in crime and one of my bestest friends.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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and i was run-nang, days 8 & 9

What a weekend….
Two days come and gone and STILL I’m on track, both with eating and the workouts.
I’m a little unstoppable at this point.
Watch out now.
I love the thrill of a challenge, ya know.
My attitude and actually this experience, reminds me of when I decided to train for a half marathon when Taylor was 2.
Jimmy had just ran one, and I thought….well if HE can do it, I can do it too.  
And not only was I determined to do it, I was determined to beat his time.
{i guess i should admit he had knee pain and had to walk the last few miles, but still…}
Maybe it’s being one of 4 girls, maybe it’s being the middle child of those 4 girls, but sometimes I just want to feel like I can do it too.
Do we never grow up?
Up until that point, I had never run.
Ever.
In fact, I hated running.
But, I had a goal, and doggone it, I was gonna reach it.
So, I ran. 
I ran and I ran and I ran.
I followed the training and never missed a day or a run.
And most of the time I didn’t love it, but some of the time I did, because I knew I was doing something I NEVER thought I would ever do in my life.
I gave myself a challenge, and it thrilled me to see if I could reach it.
At the beginning I had a partner, which definitely helped the motivation, but midway she dropped out.
I had a choice, I could give up….
or I could do it ALL BY MYSELF.

 Really there was no choice.
I was going to run it.
Alone.
Allllllll byyyyyyy myseeeellllllffffff
{sing with me.}
So a coupla months later, there I was at the butt crack of dawn, suited up and ready to go.
Ready to see what I could do.
I had decided that not only was I going to finish the race, but that I would run the entire thing without stopping AND I would try to keep up with the 8 or 9 minute a mile pace group.
{thus beating Jimmy}
And I did it, you guys.
I ran the entire 13.1 miles, all by myself, without stopping….and I came in UNDER my time goal.
{might have had to do with the fact that I ran with the wrong pace group!  WHOOPS!  math was never my thing…}
I can’t tell you how good it felt to come through it all, alive.
Reaching a goal I never thought I’d have or even be able to do.
It is. THE. BEST. FEELING.
And it felt so good, that I knew I never needed to do THAT again.
Ugh, the torture.
And anyway, SO not Tracy approved anyway.
Unless I skipped, sashayed, and plied my way through it….
Actually….that could be totally fun.
Can you see that marathon?
The Tracy Anderson Marathon.
I would totally do it.
Anyway, that whole long story just to say…
When I reflect back on that marathon, I realize that if I could do that, I can totally do these 30 days as well.
I have it in me.
I am a strong woman, hear me roar.

I also realize that some goals are so lofty and so intense, that you really only feel the need to do it once.
Since that race, I have never felt the desire to do another.
And since experiencing these 30 days, I realize I never want to gain that much weight that fast again, therefore making me HAVE to do 30 days!

Although!
I was thinking that with the insane results I’ve already seen in the first week that I may in the future return to that first weeks menu, maybe say, after a vacation week or a week where maybe I let a little too loose.
Basically after a short time of free eating.
It’s the perfect thing to do here and there just to get back on track without needing the full 30 days.
Kind of genius, I’d say.

So tomorrow is DAY 10!!!
Only 20 left, and only 2 more sequences!!!  
And I swear that today not only did I have biceps, but I found those hipbones I’ve been really missing.
I may have to suck in a bit to see them, oh, but they are there.
I think my legs look smaller too, but I have yet to try on my jeans.  
Tomorrow.
~Quick Update~
Meals:
So far I have not strayed in the slightest.
Still absolutely NO cheats, and I eat ONLY what is on that day’s menu.
HOWEVER.
I would not, could not, get that “Bloody Mary” to stay down.  
{must have been in quotations in the book for a reason}
And oh did I try.
I first tried to gulp.
Gag.
I then tried a straw.
Retch.
So, I then dumped it out and ate the ingredients whole instead, figuring that had to be just as good.

I decided to do the same with the cream of broccoli soup.
{“cream” should have been in quotations as well, as there is no cream on this diet.  sigh}
Rather than tossing all the ingredients in the blender to puree it, I simply ate it the way it was in the pot.
And it was super yummy, you know, for a vegetable soup.

I don’t think I’m a blended kind of girl.
Unless it’s the choco chestnut pudding or fruit puree.

I have to say that my favorite dinner EVER was the Turkey meal simply because I got to eat almost a whole freaking turkey!
Okay, more like 8-12 oz, but still….that’s a ton of meat.
{that’s what she said?}
It felt like thanksgiving, it tasted like thanksgiving, and I am now sitting here writing this feeling absolutely happy and full.
Also feeling a bit gluttonous, but of course, that is just silly.
It’s turkey, not chocolate cake!

As Jimmy and I were eating dinner together,
(he’s been eating the lunch and dinners with me),
he kept saying,
“I’m so glad Tracy gave us this reward meal.  That’s what it has to be.  A reward.  It’s just. so. good.”

9 days ago we were eating pizza, and now turkey with broccoli is a reward.
Love that.

Speaking of pizza, our church had muffins AND cupcakes this morning, and then when church was over they announced that everyone was invited for a FREE Pat n Oscars lunch on them.
So not cool.
I had a mini pity party as I drove home, but the moment I started my workout, I was actually proud that I had stood up to my temptations and OVERCOME.
Boooya.

Workouts:
So Saturday I kept it to 35 reps of the legs WITH the ankle weights, 40 reps of the abs WITH the ankle weights, and then 6 minutes of the arms done to my own music.  
And to keep things mixed up, I ditched the trampoline, and went back to the book cardio (both sequences), and then two times through the Thanksgiving Cardio.

Today I did 40 reps of both legs and abs WITH the ankle weights.  And then another 6 minutes of arms.
I’m telling you….if you’re short on time and can’t do 50-60 reps, use the ankle weights.
It’s intense.

And then because my left shin has been throbbing all the day long, I decided I better stick to the trampoline until I feel healed.
And because the kids were still napping, I danced way beyond my time….
So fun, that trampoline. 

So that’s about it for the weekend!

Tomorrow I’ll be combining fashion with the update…
keepin’ things spicy.
Hope you guys are rocking it out!
And if you’re doing this and blogging it, share your link in the comments, as I seem to be having a hard time linking everyone up at once!

ps….
omg!!!
just remembered i have my annual tomorrow where they will absolutely weigh me.
Oh no.
I will not look.
And I have to make sure to tell them NOT to tell me.
Oh the anxiety.
=)

© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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trading boobs for biceps, day 7

I’M BACK!
Happy as a clam and super duper motivated.
Rah Rah Rah, L-E-T-S G-O, Let’s Go! Let’s Go!
I WILL finish this thing, as it’s been said, BY THE BOOK.
Tracy, you ARE and ALWAYS will be the boss of me.
Dude.
Who was that chick yesterday, and how much of a downer was she?
Seriously, what was her deal?
Withdrawals can make a person crazy I tell ya.
Just watch Celebrity Rehab.
Anyway, thanks for the motivation and sweetness. 
As always, it made ALL the difference.
Now let’s talk about boobs and biceps, shall we?
One of the things I noticed when I started to gain weight was while my thighs became more familiar with each other, the one fun change was that my itty bitty boobies started to fill in!
It was like being back in High School all over again….
{ahhhh, those were the good boob before kids ruined them days}
Since having Chloe, I’ve had two full years to come to terms with being small chested, even writing about it, (i have small boobies and i cannot lie), but actually, I gotta admit it was kinda fun filling out my training bra for once.
And anyway, if my tummy is going to grow, it’s only fair that my boobs match in size, yes?
So, there’s a tip for ya!
If you can’t afford a boob job, GAIN WEIGHT!
It totally works.
Anyway, today as I was getting busy on the mat (not like that!), I noticed that the boobage was not nearly as there as it used to be.  But then as I turned to activate my opposing forces (TA talk.  Ya, I’m that cool), I noticed something I would gladly exchange my boobies for.
BICEPS!
Cute little compact biceps, and they were on my own body.
The dimples are disappearing and muscles are taking their place.
And I am so so okay with that.
And it’s only been 7 DAYS!
Results = Motivation, and I am motivated!
Rolls on the belly also = Motivation, so yes that helps me continue forward as well.
So today I had a new found energy, and it was well welcomed.
Food:
Another morning with Bethany as we ate mushroom omelets together.
She is a master at those now.
While I’m not loving mushroom, I don’t hate them anymore either.
And I find that it helps to chop them up really tiny so that the weird texture is hidden….Thanks Bethany.
Speaking of Bethany, we decided that on Tuesday, (our next breakfast date), we’re gonna take some pictures for you guys….and maybe, if we have the time, a video….
The rest of the days meals were fine, not a single one was my favorite, not like the Chicken Mango, but food is fuel, and my tummy was satisfied.
Dinner, the salmon salad, was probably my favorite.
Workout:
Because today was my grocery shopping day, I was short on time to work out.
So to make sure I got the full benefit of fat burning, I strapped on the ankle weights and then proceeded to keep them on for all my leg and ab work.
35 reps on legs, 40 for abs.
And then I did the arm portion twice, which btw, is about 5 minutes total.  
I did it you guys!!!
I did 7 days in a row without cheating or swaying from Tracy’s rules AT ALL.
Maybe I’M kind of a big deal.
Oh, so get this.
While I was watching Tracy Anderson on YouTube for my workout, Chloe comes out of her room and runs to the computer.
Excitedly she points to her and yells, “Mommy!”
Um, ya, so guess who’s my favorite child today?
Yes, Chloe, go run and tell everyone that Mommy looks EXACTLY like that.
Good girl.
So what if she’s two, she’s obviously brilliant.
This weekend Jimmy’s home, which will be really helpful.
He’s been so supportive, even eating all the lunches and dinners with me, so that will definitely keep me on track.
Plus, he’ll be able to fend off the kids while I’m able to add more reps to my mat work without the end of naps signaling the end of my workout.
Only 3 days left.
Of this sequence, and then only two  sequences left!

Kind of important!
Before I leave for today, I wanted to share this one thought I had about our weight and numbers…
(yes, blah, blah, blah)
But because I know the numbers can trip us up sometimes, I wanted to offer this encouragement.
Nobody but us knows our numbers, our weight, our height, our measurements, our income….
People can only see by looking at us and knowing us, how HEALTHY we are, how HAPPY we are, how SELFLESS & KIND we can be….etc.
I believe if we pay more attention to THOSE things then we will be make a difference and impact lives.  
INCLUDING OUR OWN.
So, don’t get down when your doing the work and the numbers aren’t changing. 
Remember that it’s about getting healthy and happy and improving our lives so that we can work at being better in others.
Amen.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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day 6 & hanger

Tonight Jimmy was taking some pictures of Taylor in his authentic Singapore gear from his uncle, and when I saw them I knew I had to share them..
mostly because he very well displays my emotions today from one moment to the next.
First we have the, “what did i get myself into” face:
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Followed by the pouting, angry, “but i’m going to kick this fats a#*” face:
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I’m not sure what today was all about, but I was in full HANGER mood all day.
Only without the hunger.
So maybe it should just say, full ANGER mode instead.  
I don’t know, maybe it was the looming hard boiled egg and kale juice for breakfast, or maybe it was the morning after morning of Chloe waking me up at 5….but MA WORD. 
There was a full on pity party of 1 that began just minutes after I opened my eyes… 
First it started with a blogging remorse…
wondering if what I started here was really a good idea, and then feeling kinda dumb for thinking I have anything different to share about this whole journey, thinking that my writing isn’t nearly as good as so and so, and why would I think anybody would REALLY want to read it.  
{picture a hand across my forehead in a woah is me sort of way}
A bit like this:
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{hello pms, nice to meet ya…again}
And then I made the mistake of looking ahead in the book to allllllll those extremely healthy meals and the mannnnnnnnnnnnny days of them I have still to complete.
It all just felt so overwhelming.
But then as I was laying in bed mulling over my sucky life, I pulled out my iphone and decided to check emails.  And then there I was crying, once again, but this time they were happy tears.  
Because you guys can’t stop being SO FREAKING NICE to me!  
Would it be so weird if I framed each comment and displayed them around my home?  
Pretty sure Nate Berkus wouldn’t approve….
Hmmm, okay I’ll have to think of another way.
Another bright shining star in my morning was knowing that I would be driving to my Bethy’s house to gobble up our eggs and Kale Juice together.  It is just SO helpful to have her on board as my ally.  
On my way to her house I stopped at Jimbo’s, a health food store, and asked them if they would mind juicing up a couple of shots for me.  I gave the girl the recipe and within seconds I had two shots for $1.75.  
Kind of awesome.  
Plus it saves me $300 something for a juicer. 
Back at Bethany’s, I put the shot in the freezer for a few to get a little cold, and the we downed those babies!  
And you know what?!?  
IT WAS GOOD!  
Okay, so the aftertaste not so much, but nothing a swig o’water couldn’t fix.   
Who am I anymore?!?
I like Kale juice?
The rest of my day was eh.  
I had to continually keep my thoughts and attitude in check, as it just didn’t come easily to me today.
The meals were all fine, although I really LOVED the honeydew & grapes as well as the grilled ahi tuna.  
Seafood hater what?
But honestly?
Everything besides my own food today looked amazing.  
The pancakes Bethany made her kids.
Taylors Lunchables.
Chloe’s PB&J.
The kids chicken nuggets.
I never want those chicken nuggets, but tonight, mmmm….
Oh ma word.  I’m dying.
But I won’t cheat.  The disappointment I’d feel is just not worth it.
And right about the time I found myself questioning why I signed up for this in the first place, Jen W. left me this comment:

I stumbled upon your blog when I searched Tracy Anderson Method and I am so so glad that I did. You are completely great, fun, and totally fierce! Thanks for your words, especially:




“I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something I start.

That I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

That I am worth 30 days of getting clean and healthy.

Without ever once allowing numbers to trip me up!”


I need to hear this. 


I have ordered my book and found myself excited to start – thanks to your posts! Best of luck and keep writing! 

How’s that for your own words biting you in the butt.  Um hello?!?
Besides, she said I’m fierce, and she’s right.  
RAWR.
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{okay, close enough}
The workout was the same as yesterday, same reps and all.  For cardio, my shins were sore, so I stuck to the trampoline series instead.  
And this time I went potty between sets, which helped a TON.  
(and my tips just keep on coming…)
I can definitely feel the newlywed stage saying it’s goodbye’s….and I’m realizing that with the vows I said, (dear tracy, I vow to love you and these 30 days through sickness and health, gagging or not…till death of this fat do us part), I’m stuck with this person diet for the rest of my life 24 days so I better make the most of it.
24 days…I guess that’s better than the 30 I started with, right?
And on the bright side of things….searching searching….I got to a really good part in The Hunger Games book.  
Which leads me to another good thing….
to avoid eating more I’ve been reading more, and that’s definitely gotta be good for my cellulite.  
{on the tummy?!?  who GETS that?!?  um….for all you ex’s, not me, that’s who….}

And while I’m not looking at numbers, Bethany is, and when she started this 6 days ago she was 128.  This morning she weighed in at her all time low, 123.5, which she hasn’t been in 6 years!
And keep in mind, she only started the workout today, so that’s kind of amazing, ya?
  So, if that’s not encouragement, I don’t know what is.  
I, on the other hand, am definitely looking more like I ate a big meal and less like I’m about to give birth.
So that’s an improvement, I’d say.
On day 10 I’ll attempt the jeans that wouldn’t button, but not today.
Oh no, not today.
And since I seem to be falling short of encouragement for any of you doing or thinking about doing this, let my husband’s wise words help you out instead…
Me:  RRRRRGHHHHH!  I’m about to lose my flipping mind (flipping is the christian cuss word btw), and I don’t know why!  I just feel so edgy and angry and I just want to scream.  
{wishin’ you lived with me, huh?}
Him:  Oh honey, it’s okay.  Just try to put your mind in another place, because I really think this is just diet related, and you need to push past it.
Gotta love him…
even he followed it with,
“that’s jiu jitsu talk.”
Because everything is jiu jitsu talk with him.
One last thing….as I watched Celebrity Rehab yesterday, I suddenly felt an intense kinship with them.  I now understand the addiction.  The withdrawals.  The wanting to order a beer cheeseburger just to see if I’d really want to eat it.  I know, I know.  I get it.  
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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5 workout tips on day 5!!!

Before I go into the update and all that, can I just say…the comments I got from you guys last night, moved me to tears.  It’s a scary thing just putting all your stuff out there, but you guys absolutely make me feel safe to do so!  And I feel completely honored that some of you feel safe enough with me to share your own struggles.  I can’t quite explain how much that touched my heart.
I thought I just wanted to make out with Tina G….but I’m thinking you all get a turn.
Kidding.
I don’t make out.
But, I did write down the comments as my blessing of the day in this blessing box.
Moving on….
So day 5!
In my head, I’m halfway there!  To the first 10 days.
That’s kind of a big deal.
And at this point after eating air, fish, beets and shrimp and all the other things I never thought I’d try,
there’s just no turning back now.  I haven’t come this far to quit.
Uh uh, no way.

This morning I woke up feeling awesome and ready to get moving…which is funny because I was not at all excited about this days menu.  
Le Diet:
Breakfast was a grapefruit w/honey which was fine.  I’m actually kinda diggin’ the whole eating fruit for breakfast thing.  Feels so California. 
But the snack, BEETS with ORANGES?!?  
Holy freaking gag reflex.
I actually prepared these last night and was absolutely dumbfounded as to what to do with them when I pulled out the beets.  Can you believe I’ve never seen a beet?  Or eaten a beet?
And now I know why.
Because when I took my first bite of beet with orange, I wanted to gag.  Being a big girl though, I swallowed it and then proceeded to drink endless amounts of water, which then had me discovering that there is no way to get rid of that awful beet aftertaste.  
I went, I tried, I failed.
I cannot eat beets.
I just can. not.
Tracy, don’t be mad.
I DID try it.  I even swallowed it!  Don’t I get points for that?
So for snack I had an orange.  An orange the way it was intended to be eaten.
WITHOUT BEETS.
Lunch was eh.  Fine because it was fuel, but kinda bland.
Dinner was a shrimp concoction that I needed to busy myself on the computer while eating it in order not to focus on the fact that I was eating shrimp.
Not a fan of shrimp.
But I was starving, and felt insanely light headed (should have eaten the beets) before dinner, so I gobbled it all up.
Actually I set my fork down and drank water between bites, so maybe it wasn’t gobbling.
But it felt like gobbling.
Workout:
Pretty much the same as yesterday as far as mat work.  40 reps and twice through the arms.  For cardio, I started out doing the Dance Cardio II but after the third routine, my shins were on fire….so I switched it up to 20 minutes of the Trampoline Routine.  1 hour 45 minutes.  Actually, it was 2.  But if you take out all the potty breaks and the poopy diaper I had to change, I think it equals out to the same as yesterday.  I’m a little sore today, especially after this afternoons workouts, so I’m thinking 40 it will be tomorrow.

Day 5 was a success!!!
Still TOTALLY on track.
No cheating in the slightest!
And it feels awesome.

Okay, so here are my little TA tips for today.
Tip 1:  Change up which leg you start with.  I don’t know why, but I think you should do it.  We need every bit of excitement in these 30 days, and believe it or not, this helps.  
Tip 2:  Double up the mats for your floor work.  As if our chub wasn’t cushion enough, two mats make things much more comfy.
Tip 3:  Don’t eat all your snack in one sitting.  I’m sure most of you have heard about eating every 3 hours to keep our metabolism moving.  If you eat breakfast at 7 or 8, I would suggest half the snack 3 hours later.  Lunch 3 hours after that.  The rest of the snack in another 3 hours….and then can you guess?  Dinner in 3 more hours.  Of course it doesn’t HAVE to be exactly 3 hours, but it’s a good general guideline so you don’t go too long without fuel.
Tip 4:  If weighing and measuring helps you, then by all means do it!  For me and my struggles, I find it best not to pay attention to numbers.  But, I know there are lots of you whose mood isn’t affected by what you see, and that is healthy and awesome and I envy you.  
Tip 5:  DON’T GIVE UP!  I had this incredible mentor, Danna Demetre, who actually wrote an amazing book called Change Your Habits, Change Your Life.  {actually she’s written lots of amazing books, but that was my most fave} She was a HUGE help to me in the last year of overcoming my stuff, spending time talking with me and checking in, and really helping me to change my thoughts.  One thing that she continually shared with me was this:
Changing habits requires a consistent supply of powerful (positive) messages. It takes at least 21 days for neuron pathways to begin changing, if you want to over ride old negative thoughts {and habits} you should continue for many months. You can purposefully renew your mind with truths. It is this repetition that leads to internalizing the truths and the changes you desire.”
That’s why I think it’s perfect that Tracy has a 30 day method rather than a 21 day method.  To truly transform, whether in body or mind, we must go beyond the 21 days and keep working to fully find growth and change.  
Finally, Tip 5:  Prepare your meals the day before.  I can’t tell you how helpful this has been for me.  Jimmy is actually the person who cooks in this house, as you know I cook only with the microwave (i can make a mean smores in there…mmmm), so after dinner and after we put the kids to bed, we prepare the next days meals. 
It’s lovely.
And when I feel hanger roaring it’s ugly head, it’s so so so much better to have the food right there ready to eat.


Enough of that.

And for show and tell today, thought I show off my gym, aka my living room.
And when all is said and done I roll up my mats and shove them under the couch…and it’s all cleaned up! 
{my couch has those flappy things to hide the stuff underneath, so all my workout gear lives there!  it’s perfect!}

photo-10
{courtesy of my iphone, hence the bad lighting}

Oh!
{one more tip if you’re planning to do the diet…um, invest in lots of toilet paper.  Enough said.}

© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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the story behind me (lit-rally) and day 4

I thought I might share a little of my past history, and how it all led up to giving Tracy’s 30 Day Method my all.
If you really want to go back and get deep with me, here’s some reading so ya fully get my “issues.”  
It’ll be like a fun little therapy sesh, ya?
{in order}
But, if you’re not into back reading, or doing therapy with me, then here’s the short version.
In the midst of struggling with some serious body issues and after trying every workout known to man, I happened upon Tracy Anderson on Oprah.  (who’s with me?!?)
I was stunned and in love and ab.so.lu.tely wanted mah, mah, mah.  
{that’s more, more, more with a southern accent} 
I instantly bought her Mat & Dance Workout and worked that magic every single day.  I was hooked from the first moment, and should have absolutely been happy with my results.  I am 5’6 and was able to stay between 122-125 pounds.
But, I had issues.  
You can read more about them in those posts I linked to, but basically, it was a bit of body dismorphia.  Though I was at a healthy weight, I was miserable.  I would cry because I worked out so much and just wasn’t seeing the results I needed.  Only, the results I “needed” weren’t really healthy.  
Or realistic.  
I compared myself to other people, friends, celebrities, the girl in the grocery line, and then inside my head I would stack myself up against them.  And because I saw things in a skewed way, I always fell short.  My thighs still touched, my belly has a soft roundness to it rather than a concave look….It was miserable.  I was miserable.
I was constantly counting calories.
And then discouragement would set in when the scale wouldn’t tip below 120….(which was a goal because I wanted “flex” room to gain weight)….and so I would go on a little junk food binge, thinking “well, I’m already big, why not enjoy it?”  I wouldn’t go to too crazy, but a few bowls of sugar cereal and piece of chocolate cake may have happened a few times.  Or not.  And it may have followed cheese pizza and breadsticks.  Maybe.  
I had been weighing in daily, allowing my weight to determine whether I would be happy that day or not….and 9 times out of 10, it wasn’t what I wanted, and I’d get off the scale in tears.
Finally a year ago on my 31st birthday, I hit I guess what you’d call my rock bottom.  
I’d been having a pity party all morning and afternoon dreading my party because I would be eating out and unable to count calories.  And then I started to think ahead to the holidays (which are after my birthday), wondering how one earth I’d be able to resist all the food and sweets they’d have to offer? {I’ve never been one to say no to sweets….and then especially not the one to say no to the three or four or ten after}  I’d surely become fat and disgusting…
 I laid in bed most of that day and just cried.  I absolutely sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.  
{and I may have had an amazing box of Vons chocolate chip cookies with me.  And okay, maybe pizza too.}  
But when my tears had cried out all the pain I’d been carrying over the years, something within me became determined.
This had to change.  
I had kids.
I especially had to think of my daughter, who would be learning from me…watching me.
I had to step up, take responsibility and do the work to get better.  
I was NOT going to continue on this way.
So, I called a counselor and made my first appointment for January and began the process towards growth and healing.
It took a lot of work. 
I read a lot of books (which are in my previous posts), did a lot of praying, and had a lot of people pray for me.
The change was gradual.
I’d notice little things here and there, but it wasn’t until October that I finally just let it all go.
I stopped counting calories.  I stopped working out.  And I ate.  Whatever I wanted, and I didn’t care.
I saw my muscles turn soft, and my thighs and tummy fill out.  I saw cellulite in places I never knew it could exist, and I really didn’t care.
I didn’t cry.  I didn’t weigh myself.  I didn’t think I was disgusting and stay in bed…
I was totally okay.  
I was happy, despite my body!
And that is HUGE for me, you guys.  
What may seem so normal to you was a turning point for me.
And while I am still happy….I finally came to realize enough was enough.
And that was about the time that my fat pants stopped fitting, and my underarm skin started to wave when I really never meant to say hi.  
But more than anything, I just started to feel yuk.  
I wasn’t comfortable in my skin, and for once, it had nothing to do with a number on the scale.  
That’s when I decided I was ready to do the 30 Day Method.  
Because after eating all of the DANGER foods to my hearts content and not working out a lick, I realized it wasn’t really what I wanted.  
Who’d have thought that gluttony isn’t all that great at the end of the day?
{oh ya, think that was Jesus…}  
Or two to three months in my case.  
I knew that giving up that stuff wouldn’t be a sacrifice, because I was over. it.  
Mah-jor.
{what’s up with this short version turning into a novel?!?  I mean, my word!}
Anyway, I could go into A LOT more detail, but I’m thinking I should save it for my memoir. 
{you’ll buy it, won’t you?} 
I think you get the point anyway.
Let’s get to Day 4….and I really will try to make this short.
I took all three supplements!  
Think I’m getting the hang of it.
I’ll only report from now on if I don’t.
Food:
Woke up a little light headed and actually had to open the fridge and sit on the ledge for a moment.  {can’t be hot flashes yet!}  
So, I decided I needed to eat breakfast pronto.  Fresh berries: strawberries, blueberries, and pomegranate seeds.  
To die for.  
Snack was amazing.  And it was really hard to stop and save some for the afternoon, but I did…because I care about metabolism.  I just do.
Lunch was exactly what I needed, and super easy to make, and I did it ALL BY MYSELF!  
{usually Jimmy helps me, I can’t even make a grilled cheese!}
And then dinner was absolutely incredible!  And incredibly small…
I’m pretty sure I can never eat chicken without mango and tomatoes ever again.  So good.  Mmmm mmmm mmmmm.
The hunger was present at times throughout the day, but nothing that turned my mood, which is step in the right direction.  
Hanger is not attractive.
Workout:
Once again, I didn’t wake up sore, so I decided today was the day I would up the reps to 40.  The first side was manageable, the second side took some determination.  And then, again, I did the arm section twice.  For cardio, I did the book sequences on the trampoline, and then the Thanksgiving Cardio twice on the ground.  Holy hardness. {that’s what she said.}  I decided that since my legs seemed all confused yesterday, it might be better to show them what’s up on the same day.  How’s THAT for muscle confusion?!?
I’d say the workout totaled 1 hour 45 minutes, which is my max time frame, as Chloe was awake and in my way the last 15 minutes…
So instead of adding reps, I’ll have to add ankle weights instead.
So far I have COMPLETELY stuck by the rules with no cheats or additional bites or unsupposed to drinks.
And it feels OH so good.
I just want to prove to myself that I can finish something I start.
That I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
That I am worth 30 days of getting clean and healthy.
Without ever once allowing numbers to trip me up!
And besides, Tracy IS the boss of me, so what she says goes.
So excited that you guys are here reading and some of you even (love ya Robyn!) are doing it with me…and I’m just so so in love with every last one of you for all your support!  
Mmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwaaaaa!
Smackin’ it to ya.
My word, I’m wordy tonight.
{tomorrow I have some snazzy tips for ya…should most def. be helpful!}
….and because I feel this was a bit heavy, maybe you should read this post for a laugh.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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the blessing box

One of my new years goals was to spend more time being intentional with my life.  And since that can a broad statement, I decided to narrow it down to parenting, my thoughts, my friendships & marriage, and my time with God.
{how’s that for narrowing it down?}
I tried to come up with ways that I could accomplish all that on a daily basis.
I needed daily reminders.
While I already tend to read my devotions {almost} every day as well as I read one to Taylor every morning before school, over the months there were many days I forgot.  Yes, life happens, but a devotion takes all of five minutes, so really there’s not a lot of excuses.  So, that was goal number one.  Read my own devotions, as well as Taylors every single morning.
In case you need a good one, I highly recommend Jesus Calling for adults, and Jesus Calling for Kids.  They are amazing.
Then when I saw this post on Design Sponge, I knew I had found the PERFECT way of being intentional around my home that could include every member of the family.
She created what she called a Vintage Postcard Calendar Journal, and it looked like this:
calendarjournal-08
I was instantly drawn to it, and it became my obsession to recreate it not just for myself, but for each member of the family.
And instead of it being a calendar journal, I decided to change it to a blessing box.  Where each day each one of us would record the blessing of the day in our individual boxes, and then file that dates card to the back to be added to the following year.
photo-8
photo-7
How much more intentional can you be when all day long you are looking for the blessings rather than focusing on the problems?
And I am SO excited to begin Taylor (and eventually Chloe) on theirs since good habits started as children are so much easier to maintain as adults.
And in the many years to come, you eventually have a box FILLED with blessings to reflect on in the times when life may seem impossible.
photo-9
For ours, I followed the directions from Design Sponge only I used scrapbooking paper as dividers.
For Taylors box, I used kid themed paper, and for Jimmy’s, I cut up pictures from a surfing magazine and used those.
{not the bikini clad girls, but the actual waves/landscape shots}
I wanted each box to reflect our personality.  
To reflect us.
In addition to those things, I’ll also be reading more books….
on parenting, on loving better, on growing more.
As well as making it a point to read my bible nightly before bed, 
and having intentional time of prayer…
One step at a time…
falling forward towards growth.

What were your goals?
How’s it going so far?

  © 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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day three of the 30 day method, done

Here’s one thing about the 30 day method you should know, it will most definitely help you get your sleep schedule on track, because you will WANT to go to bed early just to escape the kitchen.
And the hunger.
Soon, that hunger will be our best friend though, right?
Actually, if I’m to set my middle child dramatic ways aside, then I would have to admit that the hunger isn’t SO bad.  I mean, it’s there, a little…but it’s the hunger that says THIS is the way you’re supposed to feel when you’re not eating out three times a day.  Maybe I’m actually mistaking hunger for satisfied, when all this time I’ve been enjoying crazy belly full.
Do you see?
See how those little lessons start to creep in?
And it’s only the third day…imagine my wisdom after 30.
So…this morning was a bit insane.
It was the first day back at school, (hallelujah, praisin’ JESUS!), so the morning was busy getting Taylor ready and out the door….at the same time I was trying to pack up the ingredients for the veggie omelet.
From my experience at the day 3 breakfast attempt last time I tried this meal plan, I knew that making an omelet may have well as been doing physics, because it was that hard for me.
I butchered it, and it was more than gaggable.
I think the right word would have been, retchable.
Ugh.
And it was actually that morning in September that I broke the rules and ate my own breakfast, which led to a few pieces of licorice a few days later, a delay in the scale moving a day or two after that, and then it was all but over for me.
So, you see the need for me to have the RIGHT omelet this morning.
Thankfully, I have amazing friends, and one of them is on the plan with me.  (though she’s not doing the workouts).  So, as soon as I dropped Tay at school, I hightailed my jiggly behind to Bethany’s with my ingredients in hand, ready to watch the master.
As I walked through her door, I think my tummy audibly greeted her before I did.
It’s was, mmmm….maybe 8:15.
Then all of a sudden, THE WORST thing ever happened!
I realized I forgot my book, and Bethany hadn’t copied that day’s recipes….so we were without a way to make breakfast.
I mean, it was a food disaster.
A diet suicide.
I think there may have been a tear.  
Bethy was totally calm and positive (she hasn’t given up coffee, so that’s where the chipper came from, I’m sure), and promised she would make it work.
I, on the other hand, have issues when it comes to perfection and goals, and I was not about to disobey THE Tracy Anderson.
Oh no.
She made me promises.
And since she’s the boss, I had to find a way.
I was about to drive back home to get the book AND then drive all the way back to her house.
People, we’re talking about a veggie omelet here.
That’s dedication.
But, then I remembered the Tracy Anderson Facebook Page, which is my home away from facebook home, and I was SURE that one of those amazing girls would be able to save me.
So, I posted in all my desperation, that I needed that recipe or I surely starve to death.
No joke, within SECONDS Tina G. came to my rescue posting the recipe, and if I could have made out with her right then and there, I would have.
Or maybe not.  
But, maybe.
Eating:
Breakfast was a success, I mean, Bethany really knows a thing or two about omelets, and what made it stomachable was this: TAKE THIS TIP!  We didn’t puree the veggies.  I REPEAT, don’t puree the veggies.  ESPECIALLY if you’re a texture person.  We’ve established I’m picky and I knew I couldn’t handle green mush.  And it was definitely a good call, because it was actually edible.  
Now good is a relative thing when one is hungry, but I’d say it was actually kind of good.
Basically, I didn’t gag, and that is huge.  And I totally ate every last bite.
The snack was a bit bland, but good.  Much better than the air yesterday.
I’ve been sticking with eating half mid morning and half mid afternoon, so I can keep up my metabolism.  
Lunch was a party in my tummy.  So yummy, so yummy. (too much gabba gabba?)  
But, again, you may not need ALL that dressing.
Dinner was once again, perfection.
I can’t believe I ate salmon.
Twice in one day.
And I loved it.
I even stomached two roasted mushrooms.
I’m all growns up.
Workout:
Not too bad today!
I wasn’t sore this morning, so I upped the reps to 35.
It is caaa-razy how those extra five make things rough.
And then I did the arm portion twice, and was kinda patting myself on the back.
I think Tracy may have even smiled at me, not sure, but I think.
For cardio, I pulled out her 2008 Dance Cardio and decided to give it my all.  The first routine was rough.  After spending 40 minutes with the trampoline yesterday, my legs were like, “what?!?  we have to catapult ourselves?!!?”
They were a tad confused and fought me every time I attempted to leave the ground.
But by the third song, I found my groove and finished strong.
All in all, the entire workout took about 1 hour 40 minutes.

I’m definitely tired tonight and can feel my brain working slowly, but I’m holding in there.
I will not give up.
I mean, already, I’m further ahead than the last time I attempted it…so that’s promising!
I just keep reminding myself that it’s just for 30 days.
I even break it up in my head in 10 day fragments, so really I only have 7 more.

So that’s that.
Thinking maybe tomorrow I’ll fill ya’ll in more on why I’m doing this now…
and why it may work this time as compared to last time.

Well, look at the time.  It’s nearly 8.
Definitely almost bedtime for sure.

For those of you doing this with me….fill me in!
How’s it going?

And remember, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments and I’ll make sure to answer them there as well!

© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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day 2 and a free jumping tip for moms

So after I left you last night, I tried my best to stay busy to avoid my usual after dinner binging.
But, Jimmy….God bless him, decided that he should have TWO bowls of cereal (Cocoa Puffs & Honey Smacks), with a helping of chips and salsa in between. 
I know!
I was all, “um….hello food addict right here, in rehab!” 
And he was all, “um….hello, when you’re out in the real world you’ll be faced with food…so…why not start now!  (crunch crunch)”
I just ask that you guys pray for my marriage through the next 30 days….
or rather pray for Jimmy that he makes it out alive.
This morning was rough.
I was drrrrragggging in a mah-jor way and had yet another morning headache.  I’m telling you that sugar and diet coke withdrawls combined, may just be as horrible as detox from heroin.
Yup, pretty sure.
 Life seemed gloomy, that is, until I heard the crack (pun intended) of my Guru Lite open up.  Suddenly the clouds parted and I felt that I may just live after all.  
I’m pretty sure there’s crack in that stuff.
At this point, can’t say I’d be above it if there was.
Speaking of crack, Diet Coke, I miss you.  xoxo
Supplements:  
Same as yesterday.   
Workout:  
I definitely woke up sore, but not so badly that life was terrible.  I think that 30 reps was the right way to go yesterday, and I decided that until I stop sounding all raspy, that 30-35 it will be.  Today was 30.  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll inch to 35 tomorrow.  
For cardio, I did the Rebounder Series which was absolutely awesome except for one thing.  And all you MAMA’S listen up.  IF you’ve had a child, ESPECIALLY IF you’ve had two or more, heed my warnings.  Empty your bladder as best you can BEFORE you jump.  And even then, um, how do I put this discreetly?  Pad up.  If that doesn’t spell it out loud and clear, I don’t know what else to say…
Doing the rebounder was most definitely my favorite cardio so far, and I’m thinking tomorrow I may do the book cardio on it as well to mix things up.  Watch out, I’m getting crazy round here.
Food:  
Breakfast was rough.  And a little tip for those of you who HAVEN’T started this yet.  For Day 2, make your day two dinner the day before and add in extra (turkey or chicken) for your breakfast.  This way when you wake up starving on Day 2, breakfast will be ready.  Otherwise, you’ll end up like me….feeling the shakes and having to chop and steam and then attempt to roll it all into a lettuce leaf.  Which never happened for me by the way.  Instead I chopped the lettuce and placed all the contents into a bowl for a breakfast salad.  It was actually pretty good….but certainly not breakfast-ish, and certainly not belly filling.  Which, yes, I understand I need to move away from.
Lunch was super yum, but that dressing is STRONG, and trust me, you won’t need to use it all.  
Now let’s talk about that snack.  Ugh.  Can I just say that cucumbers and edamame, in my opinion, don’t mix.  And being that I’m not a fan of either, it was especially hard to stomach.  But just like yesterday I ate some mid morning, and a little more mid afternoon…and chased every single bite with a gulp of water.  
It’s so much easier to be all about this when you have choco chestnut pudding to devour twice a day, 
it’s a whole other ball game when you have tasteless air instead.
But I am DETERMINED to complete this and get back into my clothes, so eat air I did do.
Dinner was like an orgasm.
Oh my gosh, those raisins?!?
May as well have been chocolate for all I cared.
Totally the most delicious dinner.

So far, I feel like I’m doing pretty well.
While I have my moments of hanger (hunger+anger), I have been reminding myself that it’s all for the greater good.
 My cute clothes and future fashion posts….
Oh!
And health.
And while all is well and good now….I have to remember that it’s still the newlywed stage.
Things can change any minute.

Just ask Jimmy.

p.s. still working on the blog list, love that you all are sharing your stories!!!
p.s.s. thought it was worth a mention that i ordered The Hunger Games on my kindle today.  how funny is that?  i guess it just seemed a fitting story for my situation…

© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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30 day method: day 1, check!

I began the 30 day method today.  
Call me cliche, but the first day of the New Year seemed as good as time as any to join the masses and wiggle le jiggle into shape.

When I attempted this back in September, I remember wondering if there was really ONE person out there who had completed this boot camp all the way through?!?  Because on day two, I was already changing up the rules and making my own.  And then I got caught up with the numbers on the scale and the inches and if a day didn’t budge, I was all, “this sucks…it must not be working…” 
And quite slowly by the end of the second week, it was all but over for me.
Ya, so apparently making my own rules wasn’t quite the way to go.
Fast forward a few months, through the holidays and add in quite a few pounds mixed with under bra back fat, and my fat pants getting tight, and here we are.
{my ex’s are SO jealous right now}
I must say, that when I read Lauras blog, I decided that it was about freaking time that someone come forward and blog the experience.  Because now we see that, YES, there is someONE who did it and it so totally worked.
{i don’t know how to put this but Laura’s kind of a big deal, I mean people know her, she even has many leather bound books….}
But what if there were someTWO who did it?
{or three or four….or whatever number I am}
See where I’m going?
I’m a writer.  
I keep myself accountable mostly through writing, and if I added in all of you, how much more motivated would I be to keep things going?
How much more motivated would YOU be to keep going?
So, I’ve made the decision that in addtion to my regular blogging, I will also be journaling through the 30 days, keeping me accountable and you informed and hopefully….encouraged.
{thanks be to la for the encouragement to do so!}
Since I’ve been a Tracy devotee for a coupla years, I definitely know what I’m getting into…and I know that the results kinda rock.  
More than kinda.
I am doing things a little different than most though…you can ready about that here…and I think doing it this way will most definitely help me to succeed.  
Remind me of this in a few days….
or tomorrow when I have to eat, gulp, cucumber.
Ew.
One thing for you guys if you’re doing it too or are planning to do it:
I have the entire grocery list sorted by week here.
I’d say that on average it will be about $100 a week…give or take a little depending on if you’re all organic, if you’re feeding more than one, and what you already have in your pantry.
Also, what has been super helpful is having some of the snacks and meals pre made a day or two before.  It’s less overwhelming that way.
Okay, so here’s how today went:
Supplements:  This is a new years goal, to take my supplements every. single. morning.  I even have a 3×5 card (more on that in another post) to remind me.  So this morning with breakfast I took my Mercola Probiotics & Krill Oil w/Primrose.  Then right before my workout I took 1 Tbsp of L-Carnatine 3000mgs.  If you want to know why those, here’s more info on that.
Food:  Not too bad today!  I actually luuuu-huved everything on the menu, and people this is huge, because I may be the pickiest eater alive.  I prefer no sauce, no mush, no slime, and nothing odd or weird or extreme…..
I did my best to space out the meals to keep my metabolism going by eating a little every few hours.  The snack was divided into two portions, one for mid morning snack and the rest for mid afternoon.  
For the soup I skipped the cayanne (lesson learned from the first attempt at this diet, i, lit-rally, almost died), and instead stuck with pepper which made it absolutely acceptable to my taste buds and I was one happy mama.  
Get this, I ate it ever so slowly, and made. it. last.  Which guess what?  
Totally made. Me. Feel. Full.  
Ish.  
Dinner, we made tilapia, which was my first time trying it….and I seriously totally loved it.
So much so, that once this is all over, it will be added into my dinner rotations.
The asparagus, eh….not my fave, but I got a few down because I was hungry and beggars can’t be choosers on this diet.
Drinks:  Since Tracy says only tea and water are allowed, and I’m not a tea fan, I basically had no choice but to stick to water.
{and I spent a TON of time in the loo because of it….funny how when you’re hungry, water suddenly becomes a food.}
Although.
Since I’m giving up Diet Coke, and the withdrawals are heinous, a Guru Lite was in order before my workout.
Tracy is the one who introduced those into my life, so I figured one was okay.
It is okay, right?
Workout:  Since I have two kids and finding time to work out without being interrupted is nearly impossible, I have always made nap time MY time.  
And MY time = workout time.  
And should they decide they don’t want to nap, well that’s just too bad.  
They must stay in their room and have THEIR time until Mama is happy and content and sweaty.
So, for today, being that I’m coming off a 2 week cold (and still sounding a bit like Demi Moore), I decided not to be all superstar about it…and instead be realistic.  
After all, I have 30 straight days (die!) to work out….no need to show off or anything.
After 30 reps of each move, and one time through the arms (holy batwing action)….I then headed into the cardio portion.  I did one time through both book sequences (yes, they are the same just edited differently), and then two times through the Thanksgiving Cardio which made up a total of 1.5 hours of sweat time.  
While I felt like A LOAD through the first sequence, the jiggle in my middle (not sexy my friends) that followed every step, kept me going, and by the second sequence my energy caught up to it (the jiggle that is) and I powered it out.
Music:  For the muscular structure portion I turned on Pandora and set up a station called: Womanizer.  Loved it.  For the cardio portion, I set up another station called Novaspace.  Every song was perfection and an amazeballs songlist totally helps me to “perform!”  Loved it.
So, other than being a bit on the hungry side at the moment (bed time may need to be earlier than normal), I think today was a great success.
{retraction, i just snapped at Jimmy for commenting on the couch size.  doesn’t he know i’m hungry and there are bigger issues than the size of a flipping couch?!?  my word, the audacity of that man.}
Should you guys have ANY questions, comments, concerns….
I am MORE than happy to help you guys.
Just leave them in the comment section, 
and I’ll answer them in the comment section.
That way future crazy folk who attempt this will have access to our wisdom.
Okay….gotta go eat dessert.
Eh, water.
mmmmmmm….
p.s. 
in the next few days i’ll be compiling a list of all those who are documenting their progress with the method, and will post it here.  
the more encouragement we have, the better!
p.s.s.
if you’re so not into this tracy stuff, no worries, i’ll posting as normal in addition.
but, seriously, why aren’t you into the tracy stuff?
i mean, all the cool people do it.
ahem.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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