Archives for December 2009

I am so overwhelmed with a gigantic work load this week, that I am having a hard time drawing inspiration for a good post….so instead, here’s a snippet (with a few edits) of an article Betsy and I wrote awhile back for Associated Content.

We know, we know. We’ll say it before you do. Breastfeeding provides your baby with all the best nutrients—nutrients that formula can’t possibly mimic. It’s a bonding experience with your baby. It gives your baby immunities that will last his or her whole life.

But before you judge us, remember that it takes a strong (and brave) woman to put it out there and say what we’re about to.

And know we absolutely respect those who are able to do it.

It takes a special—and genetically blessed—woman to whip out her boob, sometimes in public, and feed her baby on demand.

In fact, we wish it had been different for us. After all, breastfeeding is way cheaper!

Blah, blah, blah.

At the risk of ticking off the entire La Leche League and scores of Dr. Sears attachment parenting advocates, we’re going to say it out loud:

Breastfeeding Can Suck It.

My (Summer’s) experience with breastfeeding was a painful one. Painful in my ever-growing boobs (can you say size G for GIGANTIC?), and even more painful in my heart.

I tried, oh how I tried.

Trust me, I did not want to warrant any evil looks or risk having my diaper bag egged for whipping out the “F” word.

FORMULA.

Oh yes, I said it.

But hear me out. Once you hear the dramatic tale, you will want to rub my back and buy me dinner. Even you, La Leche Leaguers!

My dear boy was a hungry one.

So hungry, in fact, that he wanted to suck the nipple right off, possibly in hopes that it would provide an endless supply of milk.

It was, needless to say, excruciating.

Every time he latched on, I suddenly found myself with a mild case of Tourret’s, yelling “SH*!” or “F!&$!” Along with some other expletives that a Christian Mommy should not be saying around her newborn. My sister and I used to joke that his first word could quite possibly be the “F” word, and in this case I don’t mean FORMULA.

So, I did what every new mom does. I took it to the guru of all gurus. The lovely Eve, Queen of all Lactation Consultants. I was told by many that she was the “OZ” of the breastfeeding world. She was the one with the answers.

She would solve my problems.

About five minutes into my consultation, she asked me to whip it out and show her what I had been doing. As I ever so slowly revealed my dangling nipple, I heard a gasp.

Eve’s face was pale.

And as quickly as she asked me to whip it out, she this time asked me to put it away.

And then I heard what I never thought a lactation consultant could say.

“My dear, never ever nurse on those things again.”

It was all I needed to hear.

What came next was music to my ears:

“In all my 30 years of doing this, I have never seen such intense nipple damage!”

Oh yes, it was bad. But I had been so determined to make it work that I was willing (crazy?) to lose a nipple in the meantime.

Also, one thing to know about a dangling nipple: it causes infection.

Or better named, mastitis.

Four times in four months.

Nipple loss + mastitis = post partum depression

But I managed to marry my pump for better or worse for another three months (breast is best!), until I came to the resolve that I had done all I could.

I said to “F” with it.

And by “F” I mean “formula.”

Freaking Fantastic Formula.

And that is why I say, Breastfeeding Can Just Suck It.

Betsy, take it away.

{to read the rest of this article…..Betsy’s always hilarious take on things, here is your link!}

© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”