Archives for August 2009

i love him, i love him, i love him

August 30, 2009

Yesterday was about the reasons I fell in love with my man.

But today, is about why I still love him to this day.

I love him…

For the way he loves me. The real me. He knows me inside and out. He knows my faults, my icks, my yucks…and he still thinks I’m the most incredible woman he’s ever known.

For teaching me that love is not giving up. That real love means hanging in there and always being willing to grow and change.

For holding my hair each and every time I’ve ever thrown up. And for knowing that I need water immediately after.

For moving past his family demons and allowing God to make him into the most amazing husband and father I have ever seen or known.

For understanding that my hair cost is non negotiable.

For telling me I’m not fat 1,809,589,457,485,690 times.

For encouraging me in my dreams, and believing that they will come true.

For the way he works so hard just so that we can be a family without want or need.

For giving generously, without asking anything in return.

For bringing me chocolate cake when I’m crying, without me even having to ask.

For taking turns getting up in the night when our babies were newborns.

For giving me those amazing babies.

For tickling my arm and massaging my back, even though I never want to return the favor.

For being patient with me when I didn’t know what I wanted or why I was where I was in life.

For allowing me to feel safe to tell the truth. Even when it hurts.

For making me laugh by dancing in the living room….and allowing me to post it on YouTube.

For his integrity.

For this life he’s given me.

For the love he gives me.

For everything he has been.

For everything he is.

For everything he will be.

I love him.

‘A lifetime is not long enough when it’s spent with a man like you.’

~unknown

Happy Anniversary, Baby. Here’s to completing 6 years of marriage, and to new beginnings in our 7th.

In memory of my dad, who passed away 7 years ago to this day.

I miss you. I miss your phone calls, the way you called me honey and sweetie, but mostly I miss your unconditional love. One day, you’ll have the chance to meet the man who continued to love me unconditionally once you had left my life. Yet, even though you are gone from my life, you live forever in my heart.

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how I knew he was the one

August 29, 2009

I wrote the following post quite awhile ago, but since tomorrow is our 6 year wedding anniversary, I thought it was a good time to revisit the moment I knew he was the one…

The first time I met Jimmy I knew he was something special and something different. Even though at the time I was dating somebody else, getting to know Jimmy made me realize the one I was with wasn’t the right guy. I didn’t ever think I would date Jimmy, but I knew I wanted to find a guy just like him.

A month before we met, my dad died suddenly from a heart attack and I was going through the awful bit and pieces of his life which was more of a mess than I knew. Not only was I dealing with the trauma of losing my dad, but I had to go through the emotional baggage of my dad’s life. It was a load of crap, and I felt so overwhelmed. While my family had each other up in my home state, I was down here thousands of miles away to deal and heal without the shelter of my sisters.

I had a ton of friends that did their best to be there for me, and I am ever so thankful I had them during that time. But, what really stands out to me, is the love and support of Jimmy. He was exactly what I needed during that time. He allowed me to be me. He let me cry when I felt like crying, he let me laugh when I needed to laugh, and he let me be quiet when I needed to be quiet. He never burdened me with questions or advice, he was just there.

We were just friends, and at that point I had never considered dating him. He was “off limits” so I only saw him as this amazing guy who would only ever be my friend. This was good though, because I felt comfortable. I didn’t need to impress him. I could burp, put my gum under the table, cry, or pick my nose…stuff I’m sure he just loved about me now that we look back. 😉

Anyway, one night I had enough. There were more devastating details coming out about people my dad had known, and I felt like I was going to crack. I took off and found this spot on the beach, along the cliffs, and sat there for hours crying. I was totally alone and I was just letting the tears and sobs go. After awhile though I noticed someone was there with me. I turned and saw Jimmy walking towards me. He had called my roommate and asked where I was, and then set out to find me.

I looked awful. I had puffy eyes, mascara down my face, and I had no voice…no words, no smile, no laughter. I had nothing to give him. So I just turned away. He quietly sat down next to me and took off his sweatshirt and helped me put it on. Then he sat there with one arm around me, and said nothing. We spent another hour there while I continued to sob away, and not one word was shared. But his support, his presence, his patience and understanding….it was just what I needed to start to heal.

And it was that night, that moment that I knew. Without ever having dated, kissed or held hands, I knew. It was the first time I knew HE was the guy I was going to marry.

It is now six years and two kids later, and I am still so thankful for him. In fact, I am more in love with him now than the day we got married. And every year it continues to grow. Through all the ups and downs, my love grows.

All those ex’s of the past were worth every heartache and pain because it led me to him. I would never have been able to appreciate the guy that he is, had I not kissed a few “toads” along the way.

Now, it’s been a rough four weeks with the adjustment of the baby in the house, and I can’t say either one of us has been the most fun to be around. (well, especially him. I’m a saint, don’t ya know?) But, going back to the beginning, of what brought us together is always a great memory and reminder. He is still that guy, he still has that heart, and he loves me so much better than I deserve.

So, all that to say, I forgive the grumpy man who hasn’t been much fun to be around when he doesn’t get his full 8 hours of sleep. And I love you more than I can ever explain.

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fashion friday: the real me

August 28, 2009

Since I started Fashion Fridays, I think I may have deceived some of you into thinking I get dressed all cute every day, and well….that just isn’t the case. I mean, every chance I get to leave the house (other than to go to Target or Costco) well then, yes….I get dressed up. And by dressed up, I mean get dressed. And often times, I’ve been known to overdress for a simple kids birthday party simply because I’m so excited to go out and be with grown ups, that I want to wear my Sunday best.

Oh well, there are worse crimes.

So, in the spirit of being real….it’s time you see the real me. In all my glory. The me that my husband and my kids get to see every morning and every evening, and all the times in between.

Are you ready?

Do you have your rose colored (or beer) goggles on?

For the first time ever. Introducing, The Real Me!

I know, shocking isn’t it? I mean, there is absolutely no airbrushing here, folks.

Tank: Old Hanes passed down from closet to jammies.

Sweatshirt: American Eagle {TJ Maxx}

PJ Pants: Old Navy, and a staple in my wardrobe.

Headband: mark.com

Exhasperated look: Mine, all mine. And priceless I might add.

Okay okay, because I can’t leave you with that image in your head for the weekend, and for the sake of real fashion, there is a real outfit post below.

I went out with a bunch of young’uns this last weekend and danced until 2 in the morning. It was a blast, until I got home at 3 and woke up with the kids at 6. Then it wasn’t seeming so fun. I think it took me until about Wednesday before I felt back to normal again. It’s rough being old….er.

Anyway, here’s what I didn’t wear. Yes, what I didn’t wear. Because although it looks somewhat okay in these pictures, with the weight I gained NOT weighing myself (more on that later, I’m not ready to talk about it yet), I felt it accentuated a little more pooch than necessary. And while I may be older than most in that club, I certainly didn’t want them thinking I was old AND pregnant.

{My cabinet is not blackened up there to the right. But, when I tried to fix my dumb red eye, it did something weird…just didn’t want you thinking I had ghetto cupboards or anything.}

Dress: Forever 21

Tank: The Closet

Boots: Anne Klein {TJ Maxx}

Shorts: Can’t remember for the life of me

Purse: Hallmark. Yes, I said Hallmark. And even better, for $3 on clearance.

Belt: Vintage. Which really means so old I don’t know where I got it. And as you may have noticed…I couldn’t decide if the belt was good or not so good. Which didn’t really end up mattering, because I scratched the outfit all together.

Necklace: Plato’s Closet

And yes, I realize it’s two weeks in row showing off yellow, but I figured what the heck…with summer almost over, I gotta keep the spirit alive.

Here’s what I did wear:

{Judging by the guy to my left, the balding one, I wasn’t the oldest in the club after all!}

LBD: A.B.S {TJ Maxx}

Chunky Red Necklace: Wet Seal

Boots: you can’t see, but the same as in the yellow dress pictures.

Your turn. Want to show off some of your fashion related posts, or are you dying to show the real you? Link up here! Just make sure you link back to this post, because it’s my blog, and those are the rules.

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shoes & purses: gimme

August 27, 2009

I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Fashion Junkee or Go Jane, but they are two of my favorite places to shop. Here are just a few things I’m loving now….

Reptile Maryjane Hidden Platform Heel

Buckled Biker Boot

Tie Front Ruffle Trim Heel

Fun Boho Faux Leather Fringe Bag

Inspired by Gucci Round Studded Handbag Purse

Messenger Bag

Makes you wanna shop a little, huh? Don’t worry, they have great prices so it’s totally recession proof!

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what’s your crazy?

August 26, 2009

One thing I’m starting to figure out is that there isn’t such a thing as normal. I’m realizing everybody has some sort of crazy going on, and we’re all just one link of crazy away from each other. 10 degrees of craziness if you will.

It’s no secret here that I’ve been blessed with the genes that bring about anxiety and at times, depression. From what I know, and have seen, it runs on both sides of my family. Some took and take meds, some don’t. Either way, knowing that I’m not alone in it….somehow makes me feel better.

And then I look outside my family….my friends, their friends, other bloggers, people I know and people they know….and I hear their stories. I pay attention to their lives. I listen. I watch. And I feel a little bit more settled.

It’s not that I feel better than. Are you kidding me? Have you read this blog?!?

It’s that I feel comfort. Comfort in the surrounding crazy.

You may have a hint of OCD or ADD. You might count calories too often or stand on the scale more than weekly. You may know the horrors of anxiety or the darkness of depression. You may have boundary issues or enabling habits. You might enjoy the drinky drink or the smokey smoke a little too much. You may be obsessed with greener pastures or stuck in the past. You might eat to feed the pain, or throw it up to lessen the burden. Perhaps you spend more than you have, or are tighter than need be. Maybe you have control issues, or low self esteem.

The list goes on and on. And if I were to keep going, I’m sure eventually I would hit on something you feel familiar with.

We’re all broken. We’re all crazy. Not a one of us has it down, not a one of us is better than.

Which is exactly why I love those who are open books. Those that share the pain, the humor, and the truth by being real.

While I spent a better part of my life wishing I was more “normal,” I’m starting to see that would only mean I didn’t really exist. I’m here, I’m crazy, and I’m just that much closer to being like you.

So tell me, what’s your crazy?

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i mean…..it’s ba.nanas! i. die.

August 25, 2009

I had quite the day in LA today bringing Chloe to her first ever casting for Gymboree, Janie & Jack, and Crazy 8. {She did amazing, by the way.} So, I was extremely happy to come home and sit my bootie on the couch and OB.SESS over Rachel Zoe.

I don’t know why this show ever has to end. In my opinion it should just be on every week forever. That and Tori & Dean, because I love them both, but only in an obsessive fan way. Oh, I mean….NOT in an obsessive fan way. Tori, call me.

Brad. I love him. I want him to be my gay BFF. I’ve heard that every girl needs one, and I don’t have one. So I need one. And he has to be IT. Did you hear him say OMG? He made me like it, and I will now start saying OMG because Brad makes it cute. Brad, I love you. Call me.

Taylor. Seriously? How does she still have her job with her icky sticky attitude? And when she gets fired, can I please have it? Her job I mean, not her attitude. Ew.

Rachel. Can she just stop being so cute? I LOVE how she describes clothes. She makes them sound so yummy. Like food. Or chocolate. And I love food and chocolate. So, when you can describe fashion in such a way, it speaks to me.

Ugh. I am just so happy they’re back in my life every Monday.

I’m also kinda digging Giuliana & Bill. They’re kinda cute, and I love her subtle humor. I get it. She could actually apply for my BFF position as well. Call me girl!

Atlanta Housewives? Um, not so much this season. It always seems that they try too hard to be drama in the second season. I like the drama raw and real. Not so contrived and planned out. Come on girls, take a hint from The Hills. Now that’s raw and real.

Speaking of The Hills…um, did any of you slow down and watch the train wreck that was Heidi on Miss Universe?

Um, that was just uncomfortable and awkward. But inspiring at the same time. Because if she can get up there and sing (and was that dancing too?), then maybe I can as well. Heck, maybe I just will! Heidi, you are my hero. You have given me hope to be anything I want to be, weather I have talent or not.

Now all I need is Celebrity Rehab & The Hills to come back on, and my life will be complete.

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how to get silky straight hair (video)

August 24, 2009

So, it’s time for more Q&A from the Blog Frog!

Today we’ll start with Mariah from Manic Mariah. Mariah is definitely one of my favorite blogs to read. I adore her openness, her humor, and her blunt truth on all things! You’ll love her too, go check her out.

How is your hair so silky?

Do you want to write a book? If so what kind of book?

My dream ever since I was little was to write a book, “when I am older.” Now that I’m older, I continue to say that, not yet sure of when ‘older’ will be. I’m not so much a fiction writer, so the kind of book I imagine writing would likely be a memoir type. I have just been through so much, and seen so much, and I’d love to reach out with my words and give hope to anybody else that may have or is going through the same thing. I want to give my words wings….and allow them to fly their way into someone’s heart so that hope can be found. Much the same way I have been able to do through other people’s incredible writing.

The thing is, I don’t have the confidence yet. I keep telling myself that I don’t have anything to say that is any more original or more creative than somebody else…. But, this blog is my beginning. My first step at writing every day, and being open and honest, at being vulnerable and willing. So maybe, just maybe, one day…’when I’m older’…I’ll get to a place where I can finally write that book.

Next up we have questions from Hotpants of Handbags and Handguns. I recently came across this blog, and instantly I was drawn in. She is a complete crack up (meaning funny…not crazy), and she has the best celebrity updates! Love her.

If you had to eat the same thing every day, what would it be?

Actually, most days I do eat the same thing. I never ever get sick of repetition when it comes to food.

Breakfast: ZBar or Fiber One Bar, Diet Coke

Lunch: Peanut Butter & Jelly

Dinner: Chicken breast w/Risotto, Tuna Casserole, Pasta w/ground turkey

We go all out on cuisine. Can you tell?

Of course, I have my snacks and desserts in there too, but even those are usually the same ol’ thing…

It’s just that my life is so full of fun and adventure that I feel that I must keep a sense of consistency and dullness somewhere, or I just wouldn’t be balanced. How else would I be able to stay relatable?

What made you follow my blog?

The shared love we have of celebrity gossip. Is there any other bond?

What’s one show you hate to admit you watch?

I used to live for General Hospital, and I was totally embarrassed to admit that I watched it, every single freaking day. It was definitely my secret guilty pleasure. And then they brought on this retarded character, some air headed teenager guy, that just freaking ruined the whole show. And I was like, seriously? I mean, people like him don’t really exist in real life! They were making the whole show seem fake by adding him on, and I just couldn’t deal. I missed the realness of it, the depth, you know, the stuff that made me think….yes yes, that’s just like my life! So, I dumped GH. I needed something that was real, true, honest and full of values….so I switched over to reality tv.

Are you vampire obsessed? (Twilight, True Blood)

Sorry….I may lose more than half of my readers but I am not a fan of Twilight. Actually, I’ve never read it so I can’t say I’m not a “fan”, but I will say, that’s one bandwagon I’m not jumping on. I have enough in my life that I obsess on, so I’m certainly not adding in some vampires as well. But, you know that’s just me. Some have chocolate cake (me), some have vampires (you). Each to their own.

You can only buy a handbag or shoes to go with an outfit, which do you choose?

Shoes….definitely, because I think shoes can make or break an outfit. With a handbag, you can set it down or leave it in the car if it doesn’t go…but shoes stay with you. Shoes are so so important. So. So. Got it? Are you people taking notes? Pay attention to the shoes.

Nuff said.

Got some questions of your own? Leave them here!

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vintage vlog

August 23, 2009

I came across our old videos of Taylor…

Here one of the many vintage vlogs…

Hope you had a great weekend!

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fashion friday

August 21, 2009

Obviously, I’m trying to bring in the fall before it’s time, but it was the first day of school around here, so it’s fall-ish. Right?

{Gotta love the kid}

These are my first and only pair of skinny jeans (Styles 4 Less), and I’ve been hesitant to wear them out. I don’t quite know why. I guess I just feel odd in them. But, when I found my slouchy boots (Steve Maddens, TJ Maxx), I decided I would finally attempt it. Eh….still not sure.

I paired them with a yellow shirt (Ross) to see if it would brighten my mood. {Not that I’m down or anything…just feeling funky.} It kinda worked, except I felt like I needed to unbutton my jeans to breathe, which kept the yellow from completely doing it’s job.

Anyway.

I was too lazy to blow dry my hair or do it wavy, so back in a side bun it went. Jimmy likes my hair most when it’s pulled back. Which is funny, because that’s what I like the least. Men…

Oh, and my bag! My bag, my De-Lish bag. I love it. You can wear it with the short straps as seen here, or to the side as seen in these pictures. While it is large, and can definitely resemble a piece of luggage, it still makes me super duper happy. I wore it to a wedding we went to this last weekend, and I was able to put a pair of flip flops (for my aching feet to walk back to the car after a night of reception dancing), my wallet, my makeup, my Flip, my camera, my phone, a diaper….and on and on and on, all in the one bag.

Got something fashion related to share? Link up!

Enjoy your weekend…I’m hoping I can get my writing brain back by next week. Wish me luck.

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i have no title because I lost my mad skillz

August 20, 2009

Okay, seriously? My mind is mush. Complete mush. And this blogging thing doesn’t go too well with a mushy brain. I can’t even blame PMS this week either.

I just can’t formulate a thought. Or make a decision. Or write out an entertaining blog. I haven’t even been able to concentrate long enough to read a blog!!! I miss keeping up on my usual blogs. I miss reading. I miss writing. I miss thinking.

Thank goodness for kids, because who else would I be able to pass the blame on? So ya, I blame the kids.

Thank the good Lord for school….which in my case only means preschool, but is at least 3 days a week this year. Unfortunately it doesn’t start until the 14th, which is an entire week later than last year!!! Are you even kidding me right now? Don’t they know this is the year that they needed to start, like, now?

I mean, really. What is this deal with summer break? Is it even necessary? Okay so forget the kids, forget what they need. I’m talking about us, the parents. What about our needs???

So what, do you ask, am I going to be doing once my child is back in the heavenly gates of preschool? Enjoying the silence.

Because if all goes as planned, then Chloe will be sleeping, and the skies will open and doves will fly, and I will sing a song of praise.

Realistically?

I’ll be working out, writing, and smiling. Lots and lots of smiling.

{and that’s all I can force out of my brain for today…}

If you’re still following me after this week….then you are a true friend.

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