Archives for April 2009

fashion friday

April 10, 2009

This is kinda fun…dressing up and taking pictures. Now I know why all my favorite fashion bloggers do it.

So, this week I’m trying to work out my feelings for this skirt. I have a love/hate relationship with it. The length is just….weird. I can’t decide if I want to have it altered and brought up shorter or leave it the way it is. I dunno.

*hi*

*bringing in my new fave color, yellow*

*making Tyra proud*

*close up of the vest and skirt*

*this look can be interpreted as afraid or happy*

*trying to show the shoes, but I ended up really liking the shot. Funky!*

I love these boots…now I just have to learn how to walk in them and hold a baby at the same time. I wore them to take Taylor to the doctor and halfway through the parking lot I was ready to either drop the baby car seat or throw the dang shoes in the street. I didn’t do either.

I may be in pain while I wear them, but dang it, they’re cute and sometimes thats all that matters.

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the haute stuff…and stuff

April 9, 2009

First of all, I have an announcement to make…

I started a new blog, and it’s simply just to house my reviews. It’s still a major work in progress, but this way I will have a place to talk about stuff I love or don’t love…and for those of you uninterested in that “stuff,” you don’t have to read it. Lovely, right?

Go check it out: The Haute Stuff {Wanna help me design it? Create a button? Anything? I’m all ears.}

Did you know I’m a Haute Mama too? You know, I’m sure, but just in case…here.

Now, here’s what up in the things that matter…

I’m having to be a grown up. I’m making grown up decisions, and they aren’t pretty or appealing. And I blame Suze Orman. Better yet, Oprah. Because something has to be her fault sooner or later.

So, Jimmy and I sat down on Friday night to party it up big time. We watched Oprah. We thought, “Oh ya, let’s watch that Suze lady so we can feel good about how we’re doing everything right in this recession. It will be so fulfilling.”

An hour later, we were stunned into silence, as the entire show was about people who had been “doing it right.”

So, we got to talking (still on our Friday party night). Talking turned into looking on craigslist out of curiosity to see what kind of place we could afford.

That turned into Saturday where we made two appointments to see two different apartments, to Sunday where we turned in our deposit on the new place and gave our notice on our existing one.

Fun fun party time weekend.

We are walking away from a large 2 story 3 bedroom 3 bath home on the golf course. It has an amazing and private backyard, and we’ve transformed the 2 car garage into a playroom for Taylor. I mean, that kid is hooked up. But, we’re also walking away from a ginormous water bill, expensive rent, and lots of rooms to clean daily. (We all know by now, that daily doesn’t really mean daily, right?)

I adore my house, my neighbors, and my neighborhood. But, I adore being financially secure more.

This will be good. Good good times. Good growing times. I know I will be challenged for sure, and not just in creating organization for a small space, but in my attitude.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. And while I will miss this place, at least I still have my family. Which I love. And thank goodness I do, because we will all be so very close together in that apartment for a year or so.

Being a grown up is so much freaking fun, I can’t stand it.

So, get ready. I have a feeling I’ll be very into home decor this next month. I’m determined to make this apartment awesome and adorable….

Yup, so now you’re all caught up on stuff!

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summer’s diary for taylor

April 8, 2009

I used to work as a nanny to 4 kids for almost 3 years, and their mom (who taught me so much!) kept a journal for each one of the kids. When I left my job to be a mom of my own, the journal tradition was just one of the things I took with me.

These journals are probably the one thing I would grab if there was ever a fire. In fact, lately, I’ve been thinking of copying all of it into a personal blog just in case….

Sometimes I go back and re-read what I’ve written, just to see how far we’ve come. I came across this one in particular that I don’t even remember writing. And I swear, ambien nor alcohol was involved.

Here’s a small part….

February 14, 2009

…So you see, we’ve (including you) have a lot going on. And although I love you beyond what words can describe, I’m still not a perfect mommy. I make mistakes all the time. I lose my temper, I yell…I get frustrated. All that stuff. And when it happens, my heart really starts to hurt. Because all I want, all I desire, is to be the best woman of God, the best wife to your dad, and the best mom to you. I hate to see myself failing in any one of those areas.

But, I’m human. I fall short. And thankfully God’s grace covers me. And He knows I’m an ever constant work in progress. I’m sharing all this because I need you to know, for all the times I’ve yelled, been mad or frustrated….it never for a moment changed my love for you. Ever. In fact, it had more to do with my heart and where I’ve been with God, than anything to do with you.

You’re my son. My precious sweet son. My heart that lives outside my chest. You’re my gift from God, and I love you.

Just in case I never get to write it all out online, and just in case the journals burn one day, I want this to be documented. I want this out there. I need him to know…

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my oprah invite

April 7, 2009

Did you know I was supposed to be on Oprah today?

Ya, so apparently, the producers sent the invitation that was intended for me to some blogger named Dooce. {Who is this Dooce anyway?} I just hope, whoever she is, that she doesn’t feel too embarrassed when she realizes she was the wrong blogger on the show.

Poor Oprah, having to just go along with it.

Oh well, accidents happen. Next time.

So, in case you wanted to know what I would have said….then you came to the right place. Here are my tidbits on motherhood. Take em or leave em. But, I’m telling you…every word is true.

If you’re not a mom, think very long and hard about why you want to be one. And then when you feel you know the true reason and you feel it so deep in your heart, toss it out and long for it back, because that is what motherhood will do to it anyway.

Being a mom is awesome. But not for the reasons you thought.

You will need medication. If you want to fit in anyway. Yes, Mama Kat…it’s the cool thing to do.

Sleeping in becomes anything past 6 am.

A full nights sleep is 5 hours. In a row.

Going to the grocery store alone will seem like such a big deal that you put on makeup and heels because you’re going “out.”

You absolutely will wonder if you made a mistake having kids.

Then you’ll feel guilty for wondering.

Get used to it, Guilt is your new best friend.

Wine and chocolate will be appreciated in a whole new way.

Of course, there’s good stuff too, but that wasn’t the focus of Oprah today. Instead we were to talk about how hard it is and to be open and honest about the fact.

And ask my husband, I have NO problem doing that.

I have more, I always have more, but I’ll save it for Oprah.

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welcome to my blog

April 6, 2009

Today is my blogs anniversary. I’ve been writing here for one year. So, it seems only fitting that I share with you what’s been going on inside my head regarding it all.

The blog world is tricky, because when I started it, it was simply for me to create the habit of writing on a regular basis. I had no idea that people outside my circle would ever read it. But you came, and then you, and then you…and then I realized that there might be a few people actually getting something out of my thoughts. Suddenly, I became even more inspired and challenged. It drew me in to write more and more, to the point where if a day went without writing I didn’t feel whole.

But at times over the last year, I’ve seen myself getting caught up in the ‘blog world’ of it all. What with all the self promotion, number of followers, contests, reviews and such. And while I don’t think those things are wrong, it just started to make me feel a bit empty. As if I was missing the whole purpose of why I started my blog in the first place.

The blog can be so ego fulfilling and even at times, unfulfilling (such as when a follower leaves). It’s never been my desire to use my writing to feed my ego, but in being human….and well let’s be honest, in being me (the attention & spotlight seeker), I find that at times I struggle with it.

In the midst of all this inner turmoil, I found myself reading the following by Rebecca in Girls Gone Child:

‘If we want to “write for ourselves” we should do that… in a diary. But as long as we’re hitting the publish button we are writing for other people to read and even respond. We must remember that the blogosphere is not a collection of monologues but dialogues. That every time we go public with an idea or story we are inviting friends and also strangers to participate, respond, feel something.’

Reading this really struck something inside me. Because I knew it was completely and utterly true for me. This was exactly what I needed to read, because this was in essence, the reason I have the passion to write. And it’s the reason I have always had the desire to publish my writing. For a week I kept going back to her blog, reading and re-reading that quote. I tossed it back and forth in the waves of my thoughts, I wrote it in my journal. And then it hit me. That responsibility doesn’t begin when I have a published book, it happens when I hit publish. Right here, right now, on this very blog.

Writing is incredibly special. In fact, to me, it’s sacred. It’s my way of thinking, of feeling, of healing…of breathing. I always told Jimmy, I have never cared if I made a penny for my thoughts on paper. All I have ever wanted is to make a difference.

While contests, reviews, and followers are fun, (and will at times still be a part of this blog)…they pale in comparison to the reason I write.

I want to create smiles and laughter on a day you didn’t think it was possible. When you’re hurting, I want to create tears of healing, hope and assurance. I want to inspire…be it in life, in parenting, in marriage, in fashion (call me shallow)…

All these things I want to give, so as to prove we are not alone in this. To show that there is at least one person out there sharing a piece of your story. And that there is one person willing to be honest, willing to open up, and willing bare it all.

That person is me. Anxiety, green socks, and all.

My writing is my heart and my soul.

I am My Writing.

Welcome to my blog.

Welcome to me.

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blogversation replacement

April 4, 2009

As you all know, Blogversations is on hiatus this weekend.

But, if you’re desperately in need of a video to watch, there’s an oldie but a goodie at the bottom of this post.

You should know that I’m in deep thought at the moment and I’m trying to work it all out through writing. I’m hoping to have it settled and ready to share by Monday.

Because Monday is a big day.

It’s my one year Anniversary for Le Musings of Moi. So, you know, it’s kinda special.

Also, my little baby girl is growing up. See here for yourself: The Life & Times of the Saldana Fam

Anyway, here’s the video for you. And I’ll see you all next Saturday for Blogversations: Reading Rainbow.

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fashion friday

April 3, 2009

Fashion Friday.

Last week I mentioned that Spring had sent me shopping in search of some color to add to my closet. Here’s one of the outfits that I love! For some reason, I’m suddenly very into yellow right now. I also just bought the cutest yellow bikini with big white polka dots from TJ Maxx. (I’ve been singing the yellow polka dot bikini song in my head ever since…) The black bathing suit that got me through my 20’s just isn’t going to cover what needs to be covered in my 30’s. Time for a new era….

Yellow button up tunic, black tank top, and a black skirt, although I’m on the lookout for a black slip to wear underneath instead. My boots are the most awesome motorcycle ones that I just got, and the necklaces are from the good ol thrift shop.

That pose? Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little something I picked up from Tyra on America’s Next Top Model. Don’t you just love in the judging panel room when she likes to demonstrate how it should be done?

“You did it like this.”

*Pose*

“But, instead you need to give it like this,”

*pose*

“or this!”

*pose*

She’s so deep, that Tyra.

And that’s all for today.

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mommy guilt, ww & taylor tidbits

April 2, 2009

Before anything, I want to share something I think most of us mom’s can relate to. Mommy Guilt. No? Read this to be sure. Oh, The Places You’ll Go: Mom’s & Guilt Trips

1.) Why did you do it?

He made me. It’s always his fault.

2.) What is a common misconception about you?

That it was my fault. But, see #1.

3.) Describe a moment when you felt afraid.

There was this one time, I thought it was my fault. But then I realized it wasn’t. See #1.

4.) In what ways are you turning into your mother?

Oh, I’m not. You see, because sometimes it is her fault, and…well, again, I direct you back to #1.

5.) Are you always right?

Yes. Always. And when I’m not, then once more…read #1… {Are you seeing a pattern develop here?}

Annnnnd, just in case you haven’t been entertained enough, I’m going to let my sweet son take it away.

Just some funny Taylor stuff…

Getting out of the car in the rain…

T: “Mom, I’m cold.”

Me: “Well, get out of the car and hurry into the house where you will be warm.

T: “And then will I be as warm as God?”

After watching Pinocchio several times with his Nana & Papa…

Me: Taylor, go to the bathroom. You’re doing the potty dance.”

T: (holding his part) I don’t have to go.

Me: Tay, you’re not telling the truth. Please go.

T: Is not telling the truth a lie?

Me: Yes.

T: (Quite concerned…) Then will my nose grow?

Me: (Slowly figuring out what’s going on, and loving that I’m about to have some power!) Totally…Just like Pinocchio.

T: (Flies to the bathroom faster then I can say, “just kidding.” Cause I promise, I was just about to…but then I forgot.)

This story has many examples, as I really began to love that I could get him to do things by simply suggesting that his nose could grow. I know, I know, it’s brilliant. I’m such a great mom. I really should be nominated for mother of the year.

{Update, Jimmy found out I was doing this and then made me tell him I was just kidding. He’s so not fun.}

Randomly one day:

T: Mommy. Girls are honey’s and men are boys.

Playing with his bestie, Izabel:

T: Don’t be scared, Izabel. I have big muscles.

Izabel: {big sigh} I know…

Sitting on the couch snuggling:

T: Mom, you know what’s special about you?

Me: What’s that?

T: That you’re always my friend.

Aweeeee.

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feeling the pain

April 1, 2009

Recently, Jimmy and I were talking about how it is really uncomfortable to feel pain. (I know, you’re thinking, um duh.) I think we are such a painless society. When we have a headache, we take medicine. When we feel bad, we look for a way to feel good. Pain sucks and we will do what we have to do to make it go away. I’m certainly no exception. Hellllo, I love love love epidurals.

We got to talking about God’s timing, and how sometimes, he doesn’t exactly move as quickly as we want him to. We pray, we medicate, we seek our own way, and yet the hurt is still there. We wonder, why isn’t God taking the pain when he is plenty capable.

I’ve been in that place. Almost two years ago, what started as a panic attack (after spending a week watching and helping to care for my grandpa in his final days), slowly turned into month after painful month of intense anxiety. Every single moment was painful. I wanted to sleep, yet I couldn’t. I wanted to eat, and I couldn’t. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I was in this prison, praying out to God that he would just take it away. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt trapped, and I wanted out.

When I realized the pain wasn’t going anywhere my prayers went from, “Take this from me!” to, “Get me through this, help me to learn the lesson, help me just to make it through the next five minutes.”

For me, there is no pain greater than emotional pain. And yet despite how incredibly awful I felt inside, I knew I had nothing that I was unhappy about. My grandpa was in heaven, finally released from his disease. I felt incredibly surrounded with love by my friends and family who knew what I was going through. And both Jimmy and Taylor were unbelievably sweet and gentle with me during that time. Everything was amazing. Besides the fact that I was in deep emotional pain.

In my pain, I learned to trust. I learned to live moment by moment. I learned humility. I learned the true meaning of joy. I learned to be content in even the worst of circumstances. I learned that what doesn’t break me only serves to make me stronger.

I learned more than anything, that sometimes, it’s just neccessary to feel the pain. It’s important to trust in God’s timing. Even when it doesn’t seem like he’s working, he is.

He always always is.

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another book giveaway

April 1, 2009

I have another set of books to giveaway. This one will be open until Thursday night (midnight east coast time). And then on Friday will be the last book giveaway which will go until Sunday. Got it?

Now both the books I’m giving away today, I have actually had the pleasure of reading and I loved them. They are both full of laughter and wisdom, and are really quick and easy reads. Ya know, perfect for us busy parents…

HOW TO MESS UP YOUR CHILD’S LIFE

By Olivia and Kurt Brenner

There are several people in life you don’t want to hear say, “Oops!” Your barber, your mechanic, and your surgeon are three that come to mind. So do your parents and spouse. And yet, few of us put much thought into how we can create happier homes. Now, Christian parenting experts Kurt and Olivia Bruner have created a tongue-in-cheek but invaluable guide that helps parents move past “oops” to intentional, fun, and faith-filled parenting. In a way that keeps parents engaged amid the nonstop grind of jobs and household chores, the Bruners walk parents through the steps in creating a plan for infusing faith dynamics into the home.

MOMMY GRACE

By Shiela Schuller Coleman

Universally, mothers tend to feel they are not good enough at parenting and fear they are harming their children by not being perfect. In Mommy Grace: Erasing Mommy Guilt, Sheila Schuller Coleman offers overwhelmed moms short but emotive stories of authentic motherhood from her own and others’ experiences-foibles and all-and offers comfort by showing how God makes up for human weakness with His own strength.

Because Sheila shares lessons learned the hard way by real moms rather than giving difficult instructions for better mothering, readers will leave the book feeling encouraged rather than lectured.

For every mom who feels she’s not quite up to the colossal job of parenting, MOMMY GRACE is full of hope and compassion.

**I have several copies of each book to giveaway, so make sure to leave a comment. Enter as many times as you want for whichever (or for both) books.***

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