Woo hoo! We made it! 5 years of marriage and still going strong! I mean, really, in Hollywood years, we’re like gold already. So, I feel quite proud. Especially since, I’m sure, we had bets on us not lasting past the first year. Blah, what did they know? Didn’t they realize we had the secrets?
What secrets, you ask? How did we get through all the years and tears and still be as much in love as we are to this day? Well, here’s what I can tell you….
My ten ways to make it to five years of marriage:
1. We like to sleep on opposite sides of the bed.
(the hump in the middle proves it!) How does this keep a marriage happy? We miss each other in the morning, that’s how.
2. We only say the dumb stuff once.
I’m sure I have some examples of dumb things I’ve said, but I have even better examples of Jimmy’s stuff. So, lets go there. Like that one time when we were dating and he said as I handed down my clothes to his tiny skinny sisters…”I can’t believe that stuff fits my sisters.” I sat in shock staring at this man I was considering to be my husband. Hmmm….doubts were kicking in. I took off to another room and let the tears roll. (I’m dramatic even without a baby in my belly….) What seemed like an hour later, he finally came after me. So much for a dramatic exit on my part. Anyway, he comes in, sees my tears and asks what’s wrong. I blubber something about how he thinks I’m fat, blah blah blah….His comforting response? “Oh honey, I didn’t mean you were fat at all! I just meant that my sisters are so little and you are just, you know, bigger boned than they are.” Um….ya…..he never said this again. And so 6 years later, we are still together.
3. We let the little stuff go.
See #2.
4. Patience, patience, patience. And always remember, there are bigger issues.
Eventually he will learn to throw the clothes in the hamper, not beside the hamper. And when there are dying children in Africa, really this is a small issue. I will stop leaving trash in the car after he’s cleaned it. And when the economy is falling around us, who is he to really make this a big deal?
5. We make sacrifices to keep each other happy.
I will never forget his biggest sacrifice. When we first got married, I realized quite quickly how much he loved his snooze button. He loved it times 7. At times I felt he loved to snooze more than he loved me. (did I mention this was in that honeymoon wonderful first year?) Finally, I could take it no more. I would be wide awake thinking of how to hurt him and his clock, and he’d be in a peaceful happy place somewhere in snoozeland. So, I put my foot down. No more snooze. And what do you know, the next day after the first alarm, my man (the hero that he is), got up and left the room. A week later, same thing. I felt so proud. He does love me more than the snooze, I thought! And then, one morning two weeks later, I got up to use the restroom minutes after he had left the room. I nearly tripped over a body on the kitchen floor. The body of my snoozing husband. The poor man had set the alarm of the microwave, got a pillow from the couch, and was continuing his snoozing addiction on the linoleum instead. Now, thats love.
6. We are best friends.
Best friends submit to each other, they serve each other, they put each others needs before their own. In our world, one is not above the other. We are equals and we are in this together. Well, except for when I don’t want to make the decision or I don’t want the blame to fall on me…then of course, I submit submit submit. Good christian wifey!
7. We support each others dreams and hopes.
Me: “Yes honey, you are a ninja.”
“Of course you can be a secret spy in the FBI.”
“I truly believe that the call you made to the cops to bust the homeless pot smoker will make them realize that they need you on the force starting tomorrow.”
Him: “Of course you can be on broadway, you are a natural Roxie Hart. Just hear the wonderful voice God blessed you with.” (soooo not true!)
“And your dance moves? Well, that alone is talent.”
“Go on now, dear wife, and turn on the Rent’s soundtrack and keep practicing your performance of Mimi and the candle. I can’t get enough.”
8. We try to laugh at the little things.
Ha ha, it was so funny that time that I forgot to put the car in park and it started to roll into the street….with our toddler in it. Remember that honey? Ha ha ha, that was soooo funny. Or the time you…Oh wait, you’re not ready to laugh about that yet. Okay, we’ll try again tomorrow.
9. We accept our differences.
I can dance (at least I think I’m good), he can’t, and that’s okay. We’ll live. He can surf, I can’t. I cuss like a sailor out there, so we keep this little hobby just for him. I’m always right, he’s always wrong. Or another way to put, I’m never wrong, and he’s never right. We know that, and it works. We can’t help that we’re different.
10. Never use the word never or always.
See #9, last couple of sentences.
