i’m more comfortable when things are easy.
the smiles come more often, the laughter is easy and free.
i feel closer to who i am, who i believe i am meant to be.
i could sit pretty in that lovely little happy place and never grow an inch.
but when things are shaken up in my life, in my heart, in my head…
i always seem to want to ask why.
why me?
why again?
in those times i feel so far from who i’m meant to be and i experience such a loss of hope and joy.
i want to run and hide and pout and cry.
i do not want, for one minute longer, to endure that kind of discomfort.
but in those moments?
that’s when the real me, completely bare and vulnerable, is exposed.
and in those moments, i have the most honest and real conversations with God.
without those moments…
how would i ever experience the love and mercy and grace and compassion that i receive from The Lord?
where would my own love and mercy and grace and compassion be for others, had i not walked down my own rocky road?
and it is because of and through those moments, that i have found the most amazing and loving and most treasured girlfriends i could ever have hoped to have.
in those moments i have found a love and a trust with my husband that i never knew could exist…
all because they know me and have loved me,
in my weakest moments.
i may not want those moments.
i may wish and pray and hope that they are far far behind me.
but should (and when) they arrive as an unexpected package on my doorstep,
i will choose to embrace the gift and find the hidden treasure.
i will not waste this life He’s given me.
© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”
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I very much needed to read this on this very morning, Summer. Last night I got one of those “unexpected packages”, and this helps me reframe my situation a little bit. Thank you for writing.
Beautiful. I love how most days, your posts take me to a place I don’t get to see often as a SAHM of 4: fashion, fun, silliness. But some days, when I least expect it, you write the most poignant posts. And those are always on the days when I need to hear them.
Love, hugs and prayers to you today friend. I know how you feel. The “down” periods stink, but it’s where we grow. Flowers need not only sun, but the rain.
Love you!
so many people relate to this! I hear you. love you.
Hang in there love. It truly is through our hardest times that we get to experience how great our truest friendships and relationships are. Keep staying positive!
So very true!! It’s in those moments God is truly able to work in us cause when things are going good, we forget we need Him and tend to go back into default mode of natural human behavior. I wish we never had to endure difficult time also but it’s where we grow the most.