what is blogging costing you?


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{it’s all about balance.}
{via}

I’ve been blogging for awhile.
I’ve had an up and down, love/hate relationship with it….
and at times I have really really considered shutting it down.
And not in the good Rachel Zoe way.
In my time here, I have seen some stuff I’ve been amazed by in a truly incredibly good way,
and then on the other hand,
I’ve seen some stuff that has shocked me to my core.
Stuff that has truly made me question if I’m meant to be a part of it all.

{You’ve heard the stories…people pretending to be a mom who’d lost a baby….or things kinda like that…}
Like, woah.
On one hand, my love hand…
I think…
Never in my life have I ever felt so encouraged,
so understood,
so free….
and so LOVED.
How could I ever walk away?
But on the other hand, my hate hand…
I think…
what am I giving up to be a part of this?
What was my life like before writing became a priority?
Maybe I should walk away.
And here’s the real thing that divides me….
Sometimes it feels like blogging has become less about writing and connecting and relating….
and more about numbers, stats, comments, and alliances.
I’m not innocent.
I’ve seen the glitter and wandered towards it.
I’ve lusted for more.
For other.
And I’ve often thought,
IT MUST BE MINE.
But, at what cost?
A child?
A home?
A marriage?
A relationship?
A friendship?
Would you shut it all down to save just one of those things?
After lots of prayer,
I know that for now I am not going anywhere.
I am in LOVE with the community that has been created here on my little blog.
I’ve been given a small garden to be faithful in,
and I will be here tending to it as best I can.
I just have to remember that it needs to be in addition to.
Not in place of.
It can’t cost me life.
Or love.
Or relationships.
Or me.
So, I wonder….
where are you with your blogging journey,
{if you do blog…}
and is it costing you more than you thought?
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Comments

  1. If my blog was to affect any of the mentioned, it would totally be shut down. Working from home and being very isolated, blogging gives me sanity, an outlet and a sense of belonging to something – that I’m not alone. Knowing that I have a little community of people who care (friendships and support – which works both ways) makes me feel less lonely – but it would never take place of the people who are physically in my life. Who knows, some of these bloggy buddies might turn into real life mates down the track.

  2. Blogging has taken over my life. I’m not going to lie. It’s like a shiny new toy I can’t get enough of! But yes, I would give it up in a heartbeat for any one of those things. In fact, writing has been my release for almost my entire life, and it truly is one of the things that I enjoy doing the most (and that I would love nothing more than to be able to make a career out of doing – so yes, I too get caught up in the numbers and hopes that I’m good enough to make something really happen), but I would give writing up (in all forms) in a heart beat for a baby, and maybe even one of those husband things I keep meaning to pick up at the store!

    It’s easy to get sucked in, because the community and support is amazing; but it doesn’t beat real life! As long as you keep that in perspective, I think your good (and P.S. I caught my breath a little bit just thinking about you quitting! Made me a bit sad!)

  3. I question this everyday that I sit at my laptop and tell my son to ‘go and play’.

    I feel like I neglect him for that first hour but then realise I too need my escape and my link to normality. For selfish enjoyment, sure, but for sanity too.

    I have lost my Hotmail account after someone tried to hack into it! I am completely lost and I must admit, though it sickens me to say, I have broken out in stress spots through worry of all the contacts and info I have lost!!!

    But I keep telling myself not to worry if I miss a day of blogging here or there or miss a comment or two. People who read my blog will know it’s not intentional and hopefully forgive my lack of communication!

    Dont beat yourself do what you do best – write!
    Do what you love – write!
    Share your views with everyone in the best way you know how – writing!

    Just maintain a little balance!
    XxX

  4. I haven’t been blogging for that long, but I feel like its been a good outlet. I don’t have a lot of readers but the ones that I do have are always kind to me. The only recent thing that has annoyed me is that I’ve been getting hit with a lot of spam, but that comes with pretty much anything!

  5. I use my blog to write about the ups and downs mostly of being a mom. And I really love that. I love that I can ask all of you moms questions and you come back with what worked for you. I am so encouraged by how nice people have been. I think I’ve only ever gotten a handful of negative comments – and that’s fine. Everyone has their opinion. But I do know sometimes I need to spend more time with my kids.

  6. I have thought the same thing. I think I need a break for awhile. Recoop. Reinvent. Something. I don’t know. My mind is lost.

  7. Hey Summer,

    I just love your bloggy blog! This is such a great post! It is true that we all blog for a reason, to document our families, to keep up with family, our medical issues, our life, writing, etc., but then sometimes you just don’t realize how powerful that little button is on the upper left or right hand corner that says FOLLOW really is! LOL….

    I document personally on my disease and my family so out of town family can keep updated and in touch via computer….I recently did have an issue with blogging which was soooo silly and petty and I was like you I weighed the pros and cons and wondered if I should keep blogging….I realized that I love to write and it is a journal and theraputic for me and I am going to keep blogging….Not everyone is going to agree with me….I love to be liked sooo that is an issue at times :0)

    Hope you continue to blog….I love reading it….
    Sorry this is soooo deep and long….

    xoxo
    Summer :0)

  8. i have the same internal conflict. my blogging used to consume me and take me away from family time, but i let go of a few blogs. i’m writing for myself and no one else, so it’s not important to me who is reading a post or commmenting on it. having that perspective made me appreciate the whole experience more and not worry about whether or not fellow bloggers actually like me. my family blog is now private and my other two are only posted once or twice a week. i have more family time and “me” time now. you need to do what makes you happy and will enrich your life. take care.

  9. First off, I am glad to hear you aren’t leaving us anytime soon, because I would truly miss you Summer!

    I have also had the love/hate thing with blogging and taken a few breaks from it. I feel like it does sometimes get in the way of other things I should be doing. I am most concerned with what will happen after baby comes and life takes a 360! Of course I am excited to blog about baby as well, but I’m sure it will change a bit.

    I have mostly felt blogging taking time away from the Lord when I get too crazy with it and that is when I have stepped back from it to reorganize my priorities! It definitely is a delicate balance, but I love how you said it needs to be in addition to rather than in place of.

    Very wise my dear!

  10. So far I’ve only had a positive blogging experience though I know of others who have gone through drama. I just remind myself that I blog for myself, it’s like a journal and if people read it cool, if they don’t that’s fine too because ultimately it’s for me. I’m glad you’re sticking around πŸ™‚

  11. Did you just read my mind? No seriously…i was just thinking about this this morning! Love this post.

    in the short time i’ve been blogging (well i guess its a long time in blog standards), i’ve been through it all, seen the lies, dealt with it and moved on. I agree that it starts to become more about the numbers, the name dropping, the popularity…and soon blogging is more burdensome than fun.

    I will continue to blog but as you said, it will not take over my life…it will be part of my life…so that when i look back, i know it wasn’t a waste of time.

  12. great thoughts – I think all of “us” bloggers go through this at some point or another. When I first discovered blogging – I fell in love – and I renewed a broken spirit inside of me. I was sinking fast at home with 3 little ones and a hubbie who worked 60+ hours a week. Blogging REALLY gave me a new sense of myself. This year though I have slowed down on the blogging b/c I am simply too busy and something had to give – blogging it was. I miss it, but I know it is still here when I want to reach out!

  13. This was a very thought provoking post. I have thought about this as well. It’s so easy to get obsessive with blogging. But I try to not get on my blog when the hubby is home from work. I don’t want to take time away from my husband just so I can blog.

  14. Found you through KLaw. I could have written this post, although not as eloquently. My goal is to keep my blog real. I love love love when I get a new follower, but even when I hold a giveaway, so far, I’ve only opened it up to current followers. I want people to read my blog because they like it, not because they want a freebie. Thanks for the deep thoughts today, girl.

  15. Yeah. I just recently got linked to by an anonymous blog because I wrote a post about how much I hate it. I’m regretting that, and I hate that I got into this stupid mess in the first place.
    I have to remember that I love blogging and the people I’ve “met” through doing it.

  16. i can totally relate!
    i started my blog as a journal and it’s crazy how things change so quick.
    i wonder if i am giving up things in my life i used to enjoy doing, such a reading. i haven’t picked up a book in forever becuase when i have free time at home at night i enjoy reading blogs πŸ˜‰
    a lot of you ladies mean a lot to me and i love that we know so much about each other and we are practically parts of each others lives. i like reading what’s going on with you and catching up.
    at times i feel like a small void has been filled for me and i have so many more “friends” πŸ™‚
    like you i go back and forth with my thoughts all the time though.
    for now, i’ll be sticking around as well! i’d miss your face if i didn’t!
    have a great day pretty girl!! HUGS!

  17. I think it has its moments. I feel like for a moment there I was being pulled in a different way. I was writing out of obligation and NOT out of the love to write or desire!

    I am trying to get back into writing because I love it… back to writing when I have time… commenting when I have the time… just blogging in general when I WANT to! πŸ™‚

    Good luck to you my beautiful friend! I love your blog, but I would understand if you needed to pack up shop! You do what you need to do sweetheart!

  18. Blogging to me is mostly done during the day on my down time at work so I wouldn’t be depriving anything (except some work ;-)..) by blogging. Of course I love getting new followers (since there are only 8 right now!) and I cherish the comments people leave. But ultimately my blog is just a way for me to write down my life as I go. Kind of like a journal. Some day I plan on putting together a book of all the things I wrote about. It’s just a hobby for me.

  19. I think about this quite often. There are so many negative things in this world, so I tend tojust stick to thinking of all the positives blogging entails – especially making friends and having a feeling of not being alone.

  20. Glad you will be sticking around.

    I have been one of those people who shut down their blogs, obviously. I used to have quite a few readers, but that was when it was light and airy. Now that I am cynical and a little more angry, I have a whole lot less, but I dont feel like I have to pretend to be up beat all the time. My other one kinda fell to pieces during that tough time, and the new one at least is just from recent times. Less performance anxiety. Though I wish I could go back to the time when I was happier and found writing to be a comic relief.

  21. I love this post. I think mainly because I have struggled with this before… when the blogging becomes a job, when it takes time from my kids… then there is the commenting, and the keeping up with others lives.
    In the end, I know that this is sort of like a life-line for me… especially in the relationship that I am in. And when it becomes unhealthy… I will know it is time to step away.

  22. Wow, I have been thinking about this blog stuff so much! I don’t have but a handful of readers and it wasn’t about that in the beginning. My husband goes out of town a lot and likes to read it so it was all about him and then I got readers and started to feel the pressure of keeping up with it. I work full time and go home to my family at night and put my blog on the back burner. I love to read my list of favorites but now it’s not every day either. I plan to have another baby at which point I will stop working and probably pick up the blog again full speed ahead. Thanks for this post, it touched me!

  23. very good perspective. I have slowed down a lot on my blogging because it was affecting my attention to my homelife. There has to be that balance. My blogging is just for me. I’m not a writer. I’m not there to reach out to the world. I’m just a housewife, mom, and woman who loves an outlet.

    I’m super glad you’re staying put, I’d miss you tons! muah!

  24. Great post! I haven’t been blogging long at all… but I feel like I have the right head on. If I can’t think of what to post or dont have time, its not the end of the world.. I do think blogging has helped me a lot though.

  25. As for me, blogging hasn’t cost me anything, but my sanity. I joined a friends group of serious bloggers, and when I submitted something to be published on their sight,it was tore up. Yes, I needed the lesson, but I think it got into my head. I haven’t been able to write the same since.

    I think anything having to do with pouring out to people will put anyone in a position where they question, can I handle this? Is it worth it? Because you really are giving so much out I think it’s a normal question to ask yourself. It may even be a defense mechanism to keep yourself grounded.

    I am glad after prayer, you decided to keep blogging, I love your blogs, as many others do as well. I am hooked, and all the better for it.

  26. amen sister…amen. thanks for posting this! i needed to read this today!!! love you tons lady, thanks for being such an inspiration!

  27. Keep on blogging!! πŸ™‚

    PS: going to grab your new button!

  28. I ask myself this all of the time and just last night came very, very close to shutting it all down. It’s a roller coaster sometimes and I just can’t decide if I want to be on it.

  29. Summer, I love reading your blog and I am about to finally start my own blog…wouldl ove your help for the actual logistics of it….I am not computer saavy…keep on the blogging…you are good at it!

  30. I think it’s something we’ve all thought about. When I find myself “falling behind” with comments, or getting stressed out that I haven’t written anything in a while… I just stop. Leave it be for a few days until it’s FUN again. And surprisingly no one seems to moan too much if I forget to comment for three weeks, for which I am very grateful, haha.

  31. I’ve never considered stopping, but I’ve considered cutting back — not on writing (I still want to post five days a week or more), but on the community. I follow every single blog that comes along until I have hundreds of unread items in my Reader, and I’m overwhelmed… and my boyfriend gets a little snippy that I stare at my computer all day and night. Whoops! So, I’m editing. I’m relating more to the people I actually relate with, and less with those with whom it’s a struggle. This is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be for me. I want to keep it that way.

    As for numbers, stats, status, etc. I could care less. I love to watch my faithful readers increase, but I’m not pushing for that. If people find and love my blog, I’m happy; but I’m not missing anything if they don’t.

  32. Wait! What? There are folks out there who aren’t who they say they are?!?

    Seriously, I haven’t been affected with any “blog” drama (yet; fingers crossed) but mine is a small one. At first it was mine, all mine. Then one by one a few people showed up and I started to get anxious about numbers and whatnot.

    Then I realized – I don’t really care about the numbers – I do care about the folks I’ve met (who for the most part seem to be who they say they are).

    Am glad you’ve decided to keep blogging Summer – I’d miss you if you were gone (so at least give a heads up if you decide to depart…common courtesey ya know). Although I’m not a huge commentor – I read every time you post.

  33. Very thoughtful post. I often struggle with the same things. And when I do, I have to go back to the main reason that I like blogging in the first place. For me, the friends that I have made are awesome and I love feeling like I am apart of something but I blog for me. I need an outlet. I like to write. I also blog for my kids. I want them to be able to read my stories someday and she was kind of person I really am.

    The best advice that I was given about blogging and life is that in order to be able to have things to blog about, you have to go out and live life. Life comes first and then blogging. That is what I try to do.

  34. I’m glad you’re sticking around!

    I’ve definitely had similar thoughts. Sometimes it feels like another job to read everyone’s posts, comment, write my own, etc. For the past few weeks I was really behind on reading blogs so I wasn’t posting or commenting and I seriously had anxiety about it! I didn’t feel like I’d been productive each day if I wasn’t up to date on everything.

    Blogging is a crazy thing, but for now it’s worth it to keep in my life because of the connections and the emotional outlet it provides for me.

  35. I’m glad you’re sticking around!

    I’ve definitely had similar thoughts. Sometimes it feels like another job to read everyone’s posts, comment, write my own, etc. For the past few weeks I was really behind on reading blogs so I wasn’t posting or commenting and I seriously had anxiety about it! I didn’t feel like I’d been productive each day if I wasn’t up to date on everything.

    Blogging is a crazy thing, but for now it’s worth it to keep in my life because of the connections and the emotional outlet it provides for me.

  36. I LOVED this post. For me, writing my blog really takes no time at all. I just write and post…most of my posts take 10 minutes top from start to publish. BUT, reading other blogs…that takes some SERIOUS time out of my day! I like reading other blogs, but SOMETIMES it feels like an obligation, and I hate that feeling. My husband said to me this weekend “Do you know the Internet causes many divorces? I read that somewhere” What he meant was some people make their internet life their priority, instead of their family. If he ever feels I am doing that, I would step back from blogging!

  37. I’ve gone back and forth on this entire subject. Do I really pour myself into the blog, try to get sponsorships, advertising, money? Or do I take a step back, do it for fun, relationships, memories? I have seen myself get wrapped into keeping up the blogging relationships and that is taking away from my “real” relationships. I do not want to look back and my family say I was always on the computer. I try to blog everyday, but I try to make it all quick. Let my blogging family know I’m still alive, but spend quality time with my real family. The best of both worlds. Are we ever really satisfied? Is it ever enough? I think that’s the American dream, right?

  38. I absolutely loved this. If blogging were to cost me any of the things listed I would absolutely walk away. However, I like my little community and it would be difficult to walk away. I’m finding that blogging is like being a mom. It’s all about balance……a balance that you’d never anticipate!

    P.S. I’m so glad you are sticking around. You are super loved around here.

  39. My blog is merely a hobby of mine. I couldn’t even imagine that it would come in between my marriage, home, family, friends, etc.

    If it were to interfere with my daily life, then I would absolutely stop it. Now questions asked.

  40. This is a great post. Really and truly. We have choices to make EVERY day and with that comes a consequence. Blogging is a priority for me. For example, my daughter said Dada, I already forgot the exact date and I didn’t take the time to bust our her baby journal. BUT I did blog about it. It truly is an online journal for me and I LOVE to look back. Does it come at a cost? Of course, but sometimes I clean the kitchen a little faster so I have time to blog!!! I feel that some blogs are about numbers ESPECIALLY when in order to enter a giveaway you have to become a follower. So you want me to follow your blog so that I can get free stuff? Not because I enjoy your writing? Odd. I don’t like it.

  41. So, SO true.

    It’s funny, my friend (Sierra from OceanDreams, actually!) and I were out to lunch and discussing this…how blogging can easily become an obsession, taking away other parts of your life without you even realizing it.

    Oh writing, you crazy, sneaky little animal you.

    I do my best to keep my blog as an outlet for my passion, which is writing. Because as some people have proven, it can get out of hand.

  42. Oh wow – isn’t that incredibly true. Yes, I would shut down my blog to save any one of those things. But the question is (or my question is) how do you know if it is interfering? If I sit on my computer while the kids play happily together so that I can have a few simple moments of peace is that taking time away from them? If I am still on my computer (or on it again) when Hubby is playing his guitar and unwinding am I taking time away from him? If my closest friend is someone I speak to over the internet is that maintaing a friendship or destroying another one?
    Yes, we all know we do not want our blogging to interfere with our lives but it can be a slippery slope. Or at least that is what I fear.

  43. That is an awesome post, and I hope every girl/woman that blogs in our little community reads your post. It’s all true what you said, and yet I’ve never put it into words as you did, but I totally understand where you coming from.

  44. I love it, but if I had a family (or by some miracle someday do have one) I’d probably cut back quite a bit!

  45. I think about giving it up all of the time. Honestly, every single day. I love writing and taking photos, but the idea of NEEDING to do it, makes me want to stop.

    But, I love the people. Oh, how I love them. My friends πŸ™‚

    This was a fantastic post. Speaks VOLUMES!

  46. Blogging is my sanity! Been at it for just over two years, gone from posting daily, to every other week, and now about every other day. My last job was the managing editor of a large blog, so now that I am not doing it professionally I am glad to be doing it recreationally =)

    Just found your blog, so glad that I did!

  47. Thank you so much for this post. I have been wanting to write about this too and you seriously too the words out of my mouth, thank you for that. I admit it is SO easy to get wrapped in a popularity and clique club through blogging and yet it should not be that. It should be just as you said – finding connection and feeling your passion by being genuine and real, not fake. You my dear are far from fake, are real, and thank you for this post. It is important to not let it take over your identity and still have a “life” per say…it is all about balance!

    Yes and as Ali said we were discussing this and you took the words out of our mouth!!

  48. Beautifully written. I decided a long time ago that blogging just wasn’t worth losing my family for. Wasn’t worth missing my babies grow up for. If my blog gets written, then it gets written. I’m not okay with that every day, but I’m okay with it most days.

  49. So far, I haven’t had any problems with balancing blogging with my personal life. If I don’t have any spare time, blogging is the first thing I skip. If I get behind, I get behind. If I miss a post or two, I’ve found that I’ll survive.

    I’ve heard stories about bloggers making it all up. Crazy!

  50. Okay, the text story about your sister is HILARIOUS. That’s my biggest fear when messaging my husband… that I accidentally sent it to the wrong person. It happened once and it was HORRIBLE! (A lady from church)

  51. Great post! For me, especially since I’m self employed and work from home, blogging gives me an outlet to be me. Being a Mother, working, sometimes quite isolated, blogging is a way to get something out there and connecting with others. Sure I have a social life too, friends, my children and my other half who are all wonderful. But they can’t fill each and every little space in my life, the rest is up to me. On the other hand, if blogging got in the way of any one of my priorities, I’d give it up. I dream of being a writer – finding the balance to achieve that dream and connect is the most important thing AFTER my family and friends. πŸ™‚
    Happy Saturday Sharefest SITSah! x