So I have this annoying habit of wanting to change.
To grow.
To be different in a better way.
I say annoying, because there always seems to be something.
And every year on my birthday I search my heart for things that need attending to.
And every dang year, something shows up.
This year was no different.
And my word, what God has put on my heart this year…it’s kind of a biggie.
Such a biggie, that it’s brought me to tears off and on the last few days.
I know, dang it!
I wasn’t supposed to cry on my birthday….but that song just ruins it every time….
{It’s my party…and….sniff, sniff}
Anyway, you know me and I’m all for being open and honest on here, but this is something that I just kinda feel like I need to sit with on my own for a little bit.
And when I say “on my own,” we should all be clear that I mean with a counselor/therapist….slash whatever you wanna call it.
Ya, I’m calling in the big guns.
Don’t worry I haven’t gone mental.
Much.
I’m just realizing that something needs to change, and the sooner the better.
I have kids now….they look up to me, they need me to be an example….and I need to actively work on being the best I can for them.
And for me.
Oh ya…for me too.
So that’s what I’m giving myself for my birthday…
And I can’t help but bust out Michael Jackson in between the tears….
“I’m gonna make change
For once in my life….”
“I’m Starting With The (Wo)Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him (her) To Change
His (her) Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah”
~~~~~~~
I told you….I wish my life was a musical (one of my favorite posts if I do say so myself).
Because in my mind, that could have been a fabulous moment.
Anyway, I think next years wish will be that God tells me I’m all good, and I can take a year off.
So, I share all this with you, because I have no idea the road before me. But be prepared to travel it with me, because I’m so not going alone!
Not to mention, I’m an open book….I just can’t keep secrets from you people.
Get ready, change is so much freaking fun!
~~~~~~~
Oh, and thank you all the way to heaven and back for all the sweet birthday wishes and comments….they were all the presents I needed.
You know, since FedEx and UPS got lost somehow….
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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first, i think i forgot to wish you a happy birthday yesterday. so happy birthday.
second, i’m all buckled up, girl, and ready for the ride!
bring on the change!
Awww. Whatever it is, I hope you find some peace. We’re all struggling these days. I’m here for you if you need me. Loves.
What?! My package didn’t arrive? Curses. I’ll track it today, mkay?
And I can’t wait to hear what God has in store for you!
Whatever it is, I’m glad you are taking charge and making a change. I wish you luck.
Aw shoot…I missed your birthday and I knew it was coming. Happy belated my dear Summer…I hope it was wonderful for you, despite the tears.
I think this will be a good year for you, not always easy perhaps, but good nonetheless.
God bless!
Whatever it is, you’ll get through it 🙂 We are all here if you need us.
xoxo.
May God blesss you in this journey.
Taking control is awesome and making changes you feel are necessary are truly amazing. I’m here for you!
Happy belated birthday love! XOXO
Summer,
I think that the simple fact that you look at yourself and say, ‘what can I make better?’ is amazing. There are not many people that do that.
And I have to say, that you are inspiring me. I will think of you and the better person that you are becoming for your family and yourself and it makes me want to change.
I don’t really know what I need, well I do but I am not ready to admit it yet.
But thank you. Thank you for having the courage to put this out there. Thank you for taking me on this journey with you because you are helping me in more ways than you know.
And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Much love.
i’m a little late to the party but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! and i know you’ll make the changes you need to…you’re a strong woman and mother..and you have the desire!! i’m still so sad i couldn’t make it out to SD…booooo…but i hope you’re doing good honey…hugs!
It’s always something, isn’t it? I suppose we’d probably kinda suck at life, though, if we weren’t constantly trying to better ourselves. What’s that saying about finding a groove and ending up in a rut?
Sigh.
You DO realize *I* think you’re perfect though, right? RIGHT?!?!
Well, I suppose birthdays cant be all candles and happiness… I hope it was a good one though. Consider me your designated passenger! I will provide my own motionsickness medication, though, no worries!
I think it is very courageous to look at yourself, to have the honnesty to say something gotta change and actually do it.
It might not be an easy path but we’re all here to catch you if you treep. We’ve got your back darling lady!
Good luck.
Xxx
Oh dang girl! You sure got it goin on! Your courage to be honest with yourself and motivated to make changes in so encouraging. I, too, am always always alwasy working on something. It would be nice to have a break, but what’s the fun in that?! I can’t wait to hear about your new changes, I’m excited for your new efforts because I know they’ll pay off big time, and I’m thinking of you oftent these days!!!
big hugs from Seattle!!!
You’re amazing…an inspiration…and whatever you do is going to be a light to others.
You’re fabulous. Deal with it. 🙂
See what happens when I’m away from my fav’s for a few days. I miss birthdays and everything. You are definitely not alone Miss:) I always say change is good.
Don’t worry Sum, you know my life is constantly changin’ as well… we can be “totally not mental” together. 😉 Love ya & always always here for you!
My Dad always says, when we run out of issues for God to work on, its time for Him to call us home. So, I’m always thankful for a new issue 🙂 I’m a firm believer in counseling and have spent many pennies there. All well worth it! Good for you!
I am so excited for you, Summer. I am glad you are embracing changes in you! (Just don’t loose that killer fashion, k?)
You continue to inspire me!
I’m always thinking my life should have a soundtrack. Think how much better the moments would be if music spontaneously erupted when appropriate? Awesome.
Enjoy your journey.