she’s a small town girl but she’s dreaming of a bigger world…

I had fond memories of B town as a child. I loved my home, my neighbors, my life. Yet, when my parents marriage fell apart, I think so did my feelings about the small town I was living in.
Suddenly I didn’t feel at home there. It just didn’t seem to fit me. And I began dreaming of a way out at the young age of 12.
My best friend and I had a plan. The moment we graduated, we would pack our cars and move to California. Away from the rain and into the sun. It was our life line plan. In all our ups and downs over the coming years, it was this dream we held onto.
Junior High and High School weren’t really my thing. I didn’t understand or care for the cliques, and then when a high school senior raped me and took my virginity at the age of 15, the rumors, gossip and chit chat that followed hurt my soul more than I could ever explain.
But, I never felt safe enough to let on that I felt so out of place. That I felt so lost. So, I went to the parties. I went to the dances.
I played along.
But, to be honest, most (not all) of the people who I knew and interacted with were careless both in life and with others hearts and feelings, and I hated that they were my only options as friends in that tiny town.
Yet I made nice, I painted on a smile, but inside I was counting down the days till I could escape.
From the memories. The pain. The small town gossip.
My senior year finally came and with it much anticipation that I was almost out of there. I only attended school for a few hours in the morning, and was granted work study for the rest of the day. This meant that I worked full time for school credit, and I was so relieved. It was working with my sister at her company that made my last year just that much better.
The day I gave the graduation speech before my entire class, I looked around and knew I might never see most of those faces again. I felt regret and sadness that my high school years were full of so much pain, yet I felt incredibly ready to move away from those who had caused it.
Thankfully, I had a boyfriend who lived in Boise, Idaho. We’d been long distance for over a year, and we’d agreed that I would move out there to live with his sister and her husband after graduation. While it wasn’t California, it was away from the place I had grown to despise. And since my best friend was nearly engaged herself, our combined dream of getting out was quickly fading away.
Boise it was….
{…to be continued…}

Part 2
Part 3

© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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Comments

  1. Boise huh? I can’t wait to hear the rest of this story!

  2. Girl, I was all up in this story like a Danielle Steele novel.(That’s a lie, never read a Danielle Steele novel, amen.)Oh the anticipation… darn you Summer! xoxo!

  3. Looking forward to reading more of your story. Sorry to hear of your difficult time in highschool. I hope the boy that did that to you got his Karma!

  4. I hate that your highschool years were full of sadness, Summer.

    I also can’t wait to hear the rest of your story because I know where you are now.

    Exciting stuff!

  5. Oh I love stories like this! 🙂 Can’t wait to finish… So far my story is just moving 2.5 hours away, however it’s just far enough.

  6. Dang it! I HATE waiting! 😉 As always, I just love the honesty in your writing. You are an incredible woman – so strong and brave, Summer.

  7. OHHHH!!! A cliffhanger!

    So sorry that you had so much pain in your teen years. Stupid Senior boys….

    Can’t wait to meet you tomorrow!

  8. It’s so sad when the years that are the most formative (and should be the most special) are tainted and ruined. 🙁

  9. Oh my gosh, my heart hurts for you and all the pain you went through. I’m so sorry lady love.

  10. I never did understand those people who think high school will be the best years of your life.

  11. Leave us hanging?!?! Whaaat?
    I can so relate to the tiny town gossip. Bleh. I grew up a pastors kid and I knew everyone had an opinion for everything I was doing.
    Can’t wait for the rest of the story. Never would have put you in Boise!

  12. um, yeah. same same same. too weird. well, a lot of it. same town, same age divorce, same views on highschool, going part time senior year. even gave a speach in the very sam gym at graduation. we should have been friends back then. the whole playing along thing really works though, doesn’t it? you are amazing, summer. thanks for sharing!

  13. High school wasn’t the wonderful time it should have been for me either. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I am glad you managed to get out of there!

  14. i hate that you had to go through all that you did…but what a beautiful testimony to others out there…that healing is possible, that the fears and pain can be over come. thank you for sharing your story, can’t wait to hear more.

  15. You are such a beautiful writer Summer! I can’t wait to catch the next part.

    I am glad you were able to move away, I’m sure it was greatly needed!

  16. Summer- I understand feeling out of place in a small town and high school. I too grew up in a small town and my graduating class had 30 people in it. My sophmore year, someone I thought was my friend, turned on me and started rumors about me, which haunted me the remainder of my years there. I vowed I would never return there or see those people that caused me so much pain again. Can’t wait to here the rest of the story.

  17. Wow, I can’t wait for the rest of the story!!! Your story is soo much like my life its uncanny. Im glad you got out of there, Im still trying to get out of my hometown!!! Maybe someday!!! You are an amazing writer!!

  18. I am so sorry you were raped. I was almost date raped and if it hadn’t been for the fact there was an adult in the house who could hear me scream, I would have been raped. (((hugs))) Divorce sucks…I’m sorry too about your parents and that my Son is a product of divorce. I’m so thankful you have a wonderful Husband and kids now…a little life all your own that is obviously blessed by our Maker.

  19. wow, what a past you have. you know what? i think it all has made you a much stronger and wiser woman. i hope you are standing tall, holding your head up high, because you my friend are a shining star! i can’t wait to hear more of your story. 🙂

  20. Can’t wait for part 2 cuz I know you’ll be kicking some bootie! high school wasn’t all it was cracked up for me either and I high-tailed it out as soon as I graduated. Thx for sharing, you’re amazing and excited to meet you tomorrow!

  21. My twin sister lived in Boise for a few year. She loved it! I’m sooo sorry for what you went thru in HS. It’s just horrible- there no words- I’m just so deeply sorry. I wish you all the best. Your are a lovely person- very sweet-I wish only the best for you!

    {{Hugs}}-

    ~ Kelly~

  22. How is it that I’m just now finding out about the Boise thing? That’s where I’M from!

  23. You gave the graduation speech? Were you valivictorian? (or how ever you spell that word.) And Boise is such a far cry from CA. Can’t wait to hear the rest!

  24. Wow, I’m so sorry, but so glad you survived to write to brighten my day…each day! I look forward to the rest of the story!

  25. Summer, I want to punch that high school senior in the balls. And then the kick him in the shins… with my fiercest boots.

    Can’t wait to read the rest…

    xoxo J