And another best of:
Today’s post is called:
The Power of Forgiveness….
My lesson this week? Forgiveness.
I’ve always had a harder time forgiving myself, but as I get older and the pain from someone I love hurts even more, I find it can be hard to forgive either way.
A couple of years ago I read a book called, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. I wrote this part down in my journal that really stood out to me.
“Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling – don’t try and feel forgiving. It is an act of will. Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving. You will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made. We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to those who hurt us. This is not saying, ‘It didn’t really matter.’ Forgiveness says, ‘It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God.’ It might even help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves.” Jesus did not retaliate when He was insulted. When He suffered, He did not threaten to get even. He left His case in the hands of God. 1 Peter 2:21-23“
I had to go back to this passage this week when I was hurt beyond words. In the moment all I really wanted to do was to hurt them back, to make them feel just a little bit of the pain that was throbbing in my heart. I wanted to hold on to it, to keep talking about it, and to have others tell me I was justified. I wanted to wallow in my tears and pain, and allow this person to see just what they had done to me.
I tried to pray in the middle of it all. It was a measly prayer, but I guess that’s all it took. Because by the end of the day, I was reminded of what I had learned a couple years ago when I read that book. I had to forgive. It was not my place to punish. I had to give it to God. And I did. As best as I knew how. So at the end of the day, I went to this person and I forgave them.
I did not expect what happened next.
Since I’ve never forgiven quite like this before, I expected tears and awe for what I had just done, but instead it was a simple moment that seemed to pass quickly. The response was “Thank You.” And of course, after pondering that moment the next day, I decided I wanted to take it back.
I said a few half hearted prayers. And again, I guess that’s all it took. My mind was quickly flooded with thoughts of all the times I’d made mistakes, took them to God and knew I was forgiven. My response? “Thanks God.”
Did I ever stop to dwell on what it took for Him to be able to forgive me? That it took Him sending His son to die on the cross? Sadly, not too often. Did I ever cry and cry and lavish on Him all my thanks and praise for being able to forgive without hesitation? Not many.
And now I know how that must have hurt Him. Yet, even in that He forgives. He understands.
It’s a painful lesson. Most usually are. But, this week, no: this day….actually, just this moment, I will try to do the same. This moment, I choose to forgive and give it to God.
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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I think forgiveness is the hardest lesson of all. I also think that people tend to think that forgive and forget are either the same, or go hand in hand. I can forgive, but the forget part is where I get caught up. I think the phrase “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” is what keeps me from forgetting a lot of things. Hubs has never done anything that I couldnt get over, but it is still hard for me to let some things go. Little things sometimes add up. Actually right now I am pondering some serious stuff and this post made me think too. Moderation is always nice to have on hand too. Why must things be so complicated?
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*Forgiveness used to be a hard one for me towards others. But once my life went sour, I decided not to hold grudes, was just hurting myself. Some people said I was being weak. I see as being a stronger person. I have a wonderful life from it!
Thank you for this awesome blog!
That is a life long lesson that unfortunately needs to be learned over and over again. I have to do what you doi and think about all of the things I have done in my live that hurt people and that I have been forgiven for. It helps to put things in perspective so you can find it in you to do the same…even if it hurts.
Forgiving can be very difficult and painful too. That sounds like a great book, I’ll have to check it out.
I’m glad that prayer is working for you Summer, it really is a powerful thing and God loves a willing heart and spirit! God doesn’t ask us to forget, I’m sure there were lots of things that Jesus didn’t forget too.
You gave us a brilliant and beautiful analogy in comparing God’s forgiveness to our own human forgiveness. On the surface, ‘Thank you’ does seem horribly inadequate when you have found it within yourself to forgive the person that hurt you. It sounds like God sorted it all out for you.
Thanks for sharing this…it is something we all struggle with I am sure!
Forgiveness in fact is the most difficult part of our humanness but it’s the foundation of our Christian lives — WE, through CHRIST have been FORGIVEN.
Amazing Grace!
I’m so sorry you were hurt and I pray for peace and comfort in that area for you as you trust GOD and choose to forgive and release everything to Him.
Blessings!
Im glad you did a repost on this. It is such a good reminder. To dwell truly only causes more gried and anguish. I like this quote by Cherie Carter-Scott “Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were”.
And of course this verse in the Bible pretty much sums it up.
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”
My favorite of your writing…very nice and very insightful!
your little sister
I remember this one – so beautiful, and oh so true. Man, I sure know how to hold on to the wrongs of others and have such bitterness and resentment in my heart 🙁 … this is such a great reminder of our greatest example of forgiveness, in Jesus. Thank you for posting this again!
Miss you and love you!!!
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.”
I don’t know who wrote that, but remembered it when I read your blog. We’ve all been there…Feel better.
I LOVE that book! I think I need to go re-read it!
I hadn’t ever really thought of it that way before… You are so right!