I saw a newborn all snuggled up against a woman’s chest at church yesterday and it gave me the warm fuzzies inside.
So, I quickly came home and searched in the archives and found the following post. Now, I don’t have warm fuzzies anymore. Crisis adverted.
***
Wasn’t it just weeks ago that I posted 7 reasons to love being pregnant? My my, how quickly things change. Let me instead now post the reality. Mostly this is not for you, but for me, so that I will be sure never to be in this predicament again. 😉 Tsk tsk, judge me if you will, but honesty is my policy here. So, stick with me here and go along with it. And then when you’re done reading, love me and feel so sorry for me at the same time. It will make me feel so much better, and then I can add my 8th reason to love pregnancy. Sympathy abounds.
Reasons not to love pregnancy:
1. I can’t sit like a lady anymore. Instead you can find me with my legs spread like a man, just to make room for this monster child who has taken over my body.
2. In taking over my body, I mean, I seem to be pregnant in my butt and thighs much more so than my expanding belly. How is this even right or fair?
3. When I drop something of usual importance, ie: my cell phone, keys, child (kidding!), I first look around to see if someone might be willing to stop, drop, and pick it up for me. If nobody is available, I then have to evaluate whether or not it’s important enough for me to get after all. And once it’s deemed important, the grunt that escapes my mouth as I drop, squat, and groan is utterly embarrassing.
4. I can’t squat (or grunt) like a lady. See #1.
5. The peeing thing. Or better put, piddle. I rush to the potty (as we like to call it in our home) thinking I’m about to relieve all bladder issues for the next few hours, only to piddle piddle for two seconds. Trust me, there is no relief in a piddle piddle. Several times I have stood up, flushed, turned to walk out of the restroom, only to have to turn around and have a seat again. Piddle piddle.Â
6. I can’t find Jimmy in bed anymore. I am consumed by my five pillows that are constantly needing to be adjusted every few minutes throughout the night. Yes, five. One for my head, one for my knees/legs, one for the belly, one for the back, and one just to hang on to.Â
7. The pain, the pain!!! Oh the aches of the pregnant woman’s belly…..and back, and butt, and legs, and feet….and other areas that we don’t need to go into here. There is no amount of chocolate to cure this kind of discomfort. Although, I will continue to try to find a cure with it somehow. And yet, I can’t figure out how I am looking pregnant in my butt and thighs.Â
8. The scale. The one I stand on in the doctors office, now every two weeks. The one that reminds me that I am indeed pregnant in more than just my stomach. The one that reminds me chocolate doesn’t cure everything.
9. The comments and unsolicited advice. Comments like, “You’re not too big, you just look healthy.” (L, I know you meant well) Or, “You still have 8 weeks left to go? I would have thought you were due anytime!” My favorite is the nod I get after a venting of feeling fat. And then “mmmm, ya. I see what you mean. That must be hard….” Not so good for the self esteem.Â
10. The emotional roller coaster. I’m good one minute, and in tears the next. Life is great and the glass is half full one second, but empty the next. I know I’m making a big ol deal about something small, and I just don’t care. It feels too good to cry it out, and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted too.
11. I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. Because of #4, #5, #6, #7 and thoughts of #8 which leads to #10. And now I’m awake instead of sleeping.
Okay, I can stop here (though I could go on…and on…and on). Let me just silence the judgement. Yes, I agree that being pregnant is a beautiful and wonderfully amazing thing, and yes I know that it is just an incredible blessing that I get to be the one to bring this beautiful baby into the world. I know, and I agree and I get it. I’m just saying…in addition to knowing all that, please revisit #’s 1-11 and then have a little sympathy for a girl. If you don’t, see #10. I can’t be responsible for how I react.Â
***
Now stay tuned. Â I am doing yet another renovation to the blog. Â I think this time, I’ve found the one. Â The one that will stay a very long time.
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
SHARE THIS POST
ROTFLOL!!! You are so funny! I am going to save a link to this post so I may pull it up if I need it.
Have you entered my giveaway?
lol ..I knew there was a reason we decided to stop trying …or 100 reasons. lol.
Oh, hilarious! Loved reading this list. Yup, I certainly don’t miss those things… you forget to mention how incredible hard it was to stop drinking wine for 9 months! That was really tough on me! 😉
i get nostalgic when i see a mom embracing her newborn. then i snap out of it as i am in line at the grocery grasping my son’s arm as he screams and drops his body to the floor trying to get some candy from the check out. i look forward to your new layout. take care.
-kiki
Nothing like a slap in the face to get you back to reality huh???
This post is awesome! I don’t need a reminder that I don’t want another baby but this would totally cure me of it if I did.
Ha ha ha ha! I remember reading this a while back – it’s awesome! My husband’s cousin had her baby at church Sunday and I got to hold him. He’s still a newborn. So squishy and bendy and smelly. I love how he just curled up. I still want one more, but your list was such a lovely reminder of the not-so-fun stuff. 🙂
I love it Summer! I’m not sure if I should be encouraged or discouraged by this post given we are TTC, but I did laugh! So true. All of it.
You know, being pregnant isn’t nearly as bad as the out-of-body experience I have after birth. You know, the one where you can’t get ANYTHING done for a year and are tired for at least 3 years? THAT’S what convinced me not to have any more kids. But I still love the babies when they sleep on their Mom’s chest. And the cute baby girls with their cute headbands. I’ll hold someone’s baby for an hour. But that’s about all the commitment to new babies that I want in my life right now. 🙂
I so know what you mean!! I love little newborn babies! I absolutely detest being pregnant though!! Great job going back into the archives to deter that baby fever, lol!
Speaking of babies, I have a great giveaway on my blog – Bugaloo baby & toddler shoes 🙂 Check it out —->
Great list.
I tagged you over on my blog, go check it out and play! K?!
http://theinterruptedgirl.blogspot.com/2009/05/whats-in-your-bag.html
Now I know what to read when I am feeling the baby itch again. Well that and the fact that hubs was neutered should help too
Ok that was way to funny. If it’s ok I am going to copy print and give to my daughter who is carrying her second. lol
Yep. Looking forward to it. I may need to forward this to my husband so he can see why I’m a little more timid about the whole getting pregnant thing. Also, you forgot that you cannot drink. Which to me is probably #1 as drinking (unlike chocolate) could fix all these issues…if only it was allowed.
Great list! It does help decrease the baby longing:)
Thanks for stopping by today! Great post.
Since my son’s 1st b-day I have had the baby bug bad. Thanks for helping me snap back to reality! I need some more sleep first.