summer’s diary for taylor

I used to work as a nanny to 4 kids for almost 3 years, and their mom (who taught me so much!) kept a journal for each one of the kids. When I left my job to be a mom of my own, the journal tradition was just one of the things I took with me.
These journals are probably the one thing I would grab if there was ever a fire. In fact, lately, I’ve been thinking of copying all of it into a personal blog just in case….
Sometimes I go back and re-read what I’ve written, just to see how far we’ve come. I came across this one in particular that I don’t even remember writing. And I swear, ambien nor alcohol was involved.
Here’s a small part….
February 14, 2009
…So you see, we’ve (including you) have a lot going on. And although I love you beyond what words can describe, I’m still not a perfect mommy. I make mistakes all the time. I lose my temper, I yell…I get frustrated. All that stuff.  And when it happens, my heart really starts to hurt. Because all I want, all I desire, is to be the best woman of God, the best wife to your dad, and the best mom to you. I hate to see myself failing in any one of those areas. 
But, I’m human. I fall short. And thankfully God’s grace covers me. And He knows I’m an ever constant work in progress. I’m sharing all this because I need you to know, for all the times I’ve yelled, been mad or frustrated….it never for a moment changed my love for you. Ever. In fact, it had more to do with my heart and where I’ve been with God, than anything to do with you.
You’re my son. My precious sweet son. My heart that lives outside my chest. You’re my gift from God, and I love you.
Just in case I never get to write it all out online, and just in case the journals burn one day, I want this to be documented. I want this out there. I need him to know…
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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Comments

  1. I glean so much from your blog, Summer. I have always thought of writing journals or letters to my kids but it is still just a thought.

  2. aww!

  3. Oh summer *tears* that is so sweet 🙂 I’m sure when Taylor grows up and gets to read these journals he will really appreciate them 🙂

    My mom kept a calendar that she wrote something in everyday of my 1st year and I cherish that calendar -even more now that she’s gone 🙂

  4. this is such a great idea…of heard of people writing to their future spouses but i like this idea even more.

    beautifully written

  5. How sweet! Thanks for making my mascara run! I feel exactly the same way sometimes, I don’t mean to yell or get fusturated,but it happens! Glad to know I’m not the only one feeling that way!

  6. That’s a great idea… to write journals for your kids. It’s got to be somewhat therapeutic.
    That letter is precious. =)
    And thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! I love feedback. Have a good day!

  7. That was just beautiful!

  8. Wow…exactly how I feel about my kids. That’s why I started my blog, to write for them. It would have been neat to start when they were babies.

    http://www.southernrose.wordpress.com

  9. Lovely words. It’s so important to make sure our kids know we love them, and to tell them so, and often.

  10. OH MY GOD that is such a beautiful entry in your journal to your son! Beautiful. Could have been written by my very own hands!

    I also keep journals for my children. I have gone through one entire notebook already for my oldest son. 🙂 I love doing this, and reading back on things I’ve written to them.

    Great post!

  11. What a great idea! I love what you wrote – that will definitely be a treasure for your kids when they get older!

    I’m writing letters to my boys at each birthday and saving them so that they will have a book-full of them later.

  12. Great post. My husband is better about keeping the kids’ journals than I am. And of course they are all backed-up off site (again, his doing). Writing in their journals is one of the areas I need to improve, especially since I’m with them the most. Your entry today was a good reminder.

  13. That’s great. Your children will cherish these journals when they’re older.

  14. wow.

    I want to do something like that. either for kids (if I ever have any) or for my husband when I get married.

    thoughts are nice, but its better to write them down so the other person KNOWS.

  15. I have journals for both my kids, too, but I’m doing horribly at keeping up with them…

  16. So sweet Summer! I think that is just such a great idea to journal for them. I am working on a post right now for my oldest daughter and never thought about the journal…I just might have to do that for my girls

  17. I bet those journals will be cherished by your children when they grow up. I wish I had kept a small journal when each of the girls were born, I think when they go on to have kids they would be glad to have something like that to read and know that its not easy but that it gets better, lol. What a great thing to do.

  18. Journal blogs are awesome!!! I have 2 daughters, and I keep a separate blog for both of them. They are private only to me and my husband. Someday I will print them out into a book with all the corresponding pictures. But for now, its so quick to type instead of handwrite, and I can do it from anywhere in the world and any computer, because its all all saved on the internet. If you’re thinking about doing it, go for it! I write in mine a few times a week. It’s so fun and fast. Good luck!

  19. That is so precious. And it’s one of those things that he’ll be able to really truly treasure as an adult. I love it!

  20. Isn’t it wonderful that our kids are so forgiving and yet even more forgiving is our Lord and Savior. Thank you for sharing even your weak moments. We all have them. It’s part of how God uses being a Mommy to teach us. Blessings to you.

    Signed,
    Faithful Praise
    http://www.faithfulpraise.blogspot.com

  21. Very Sweet. You definitly need to get those journels copied. Think what a gift they will be one day when your children are grown, and parents themselves. What a treasure.

  22. So sweet. I write letters(that I keep safe) to everyone who is important to me from time to time just incase something were to ever happen to me. He will love these letters when he’s older!

  23. What a fabulous idea. That is just so sweet.

  24. This was seriously sweet, girl.

    Pretty sure he knows how great you are.

    😉

    Jay

  25. Absolutely beautiful.

  26. What a lovely idea … and what a lovely gift for him someday.