thou shalt not worry….

Worry & Anxiety….

I didn’t really understand these things until after I got married. And even more so after I became a mom. I mean, of course I worried before then. I worried that I would be late to my hair appt, or that my budget for the month wouldn’t include enough for that shopping spree I needed. And of course, I worried about the zit on my chin that wouldn’t go away before a big date. I had lots of worries, and at the time they seemed huge.

But things change.

Once I got married, life became bigger. More important stuff seemed to be happening. I now had to tend to life outside of just me. My worries soon became more like, would Jimmy ever learn to stop snoozing the alarm clock in the morning? Would he learn to throw his dirty clothes in the hamper and not beside the hamper? Would we collectively make enough so that I could afford that much needed shopping spree? Would I ever learn to make more than mac and cheese or hamburger helper so as to feed my family??? (I had much bigger issues of course than all this, but who wants to go there so soon in my writing???) 😉

But again, things change.

I had Taylor. Life was even bigger. Very important stuff seemed to be happening. I had two lives to tend to outside of mine. My worries quickly became very serious. Would I ever be able to stop producing milk? Would I ever sleep through a night again? Would I ever be able to leave the house where I was showered and dressed and feeling sane? (even just one of the three would have been nice!)

Two years later…this is when I really understand worry. Bear with me, it’s about to get serious here. (Seriously. Now it’s time to get to those issues I talked about!)

Things started to come to a head with Jimmy’s family. A diagnosis was made, skeletons in the closet were exposed and drama was unfolding. At the same time, my much admired and respected grandpa (Taylor and he share the same middle name) was dying of bone and prostate cancer. Our money was tight, and we were living paycheck to paycheck just barely. It was a day by day thing where every day some sort of news hit us, and I felt like I was losing it all.

I started to worry constantly about this and that, and began to think of things that could happen and how awful life would be if it did. I worried my way into panic so often, that I began to withdraw from the people and things I loved. I didn’t know how to stop.

And then of course, I saw that I was so caught up in my “issues” that I wasn’t able to care for Taylor and Jimmy the way that I wanted to. I started to lose sleep, and often had nights where I was awake all night long. My worry then became even worse. What if I never pulled myself out? What if Tay has to be raised by a mom in constant anxiety? Would Jimmy leave me? Would I end up the homeless lady on the street? (I told you, I have issues!)

Thankfully, my faith, my God, and my family and friends continued to be there for me and pray for me, and slowly I became better and better. I started to do a lot of reading and learning about worry and anxiety. I wanted to understand why and how I got where I was, and how to avoid getting there again. I learned that it all came down to contentment. Being in the moment. Taking things day by day. Trusting God.

Two unbelievable books helped the light bulb to come on. The Anxiety Cure & Finding Calm in Life’s Chaos. Here are the simple ideas that have changed my life…

*Never dwell on tomorrow – remember that tomorrow is God’s, not ours. Matthew 6:34 – “So don’t be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.” We are to entrust all our tomorrows to Him, and live just today.

*Anxiety is that which divides and distracts the soul, that which diverts us from present duty to weary calculations of how to meet conditions that may NEVER arrive. It’s the habit of crossing bridges before we reach them.

*Depression is the past superimposed on the present, and anxiety is the future superimposed on the present.

*Worry never changes a thing, except the worrier.

*It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It’s when tomorrow’s burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends. If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this: it is your own doing, not God’s. He begs you to leave the future to Him and to mind to the present.

*Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of it’s sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

*This is the blessed life – not anxious to see far in front, nor eager to choose the path, but quietly following behind the Shepherd, one step at a time. The Shepherd was always out in front of the sheep. He was down in front. Any attack on them had to take him into account. Now God is down in front. He in the tomorrows. It is tomorrow that fills men with dread, God is there already. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they can get to us.

*Often times the things we worry about are far bigger and more overwhelming then they would be in real life. Once, and IF, they come, they are more often than not easier to manage.

Okay, if I keep going, I’ll rewrite both books.

But, It seems so simple, huh?
Only it’s not.

Knowing it is one thing, living it is another.

But, I have chosen to take these truths and remind myself of them every time a worry enters my head. Sometimes it’s every ten minutes, other day’s it’s just a few times an hour. *enter a laugh*

I write this mostly to remind myself. Because though today, I’m holding firm, tomorrow may bring something different. Who knows maybe I’ll be late to my hair appointment this week. But, that’s in God’s hands, right?

© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”

Subscribe to Le Musings of Moi by Email
SHARE THIS POSTShare on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestGoogle+Email to someone
It means so much that you are here! I know life gets busy though, so if you don't want to miss a thing, I invite you to subscribe to my blog through email!

Comments

  1. Wonderful message!!! I’m always so caught up in the “near” and not the “now” so your post is definitely a good reminder. Love it.

  2. bravo chica. its amazing that as mothers,wives and women we are all connected by these worries, yet we ignore this precious cord due to feelings of shame and insecurity.thank you for reaching out to us with an honest, open hand and saying, “i am right there with ya.”

  3. bravo chica. its amazing that as mothers,wives and women we are all connected by these worries, yet we ignore this precious cord due to feelings of shame and insecurity.thank you for reaching out to us with an honest, open hand and saying, “i am right there with ya.”

  4. bravo chica. its amazing that as mothers,wives and women we are all connected by these worries, yet we ignore this precious cord due to feelings of shame and insecurity.thank you for reaching out to us with an honest, open hand and saying, “i am right there with ya.”

  5. Thank you for the reminder. I guess we all need to take a step back adn remember to live for today….and enjoy it.

  6. I soooo needed this post today.

    Thank you so much for writing it.

  7. I love this post! I have to be reminded of these concepts almost daily just to keep sane!!!

  8. great post!

  9. Great post, but for all those mom’s out there with anxiety caused by physical conditions, you’re ok, too. Get the help you need from a doctor, a psychiatrist, a friend, a nutritionist, whomever! Just get help and figure out how to break the cords of anxiety so you can live your life to the fullest.

  10. Wow, fellow SITSta, i really needed to read that today! Blessings to you.

  11. Loved this post…so much to think about and very inspirational! You’re right…God is in control, no need to worry! Have a good one!

  12. Amen SITSta 🙂

  13. This post couldn’t have been featured at a better time. I’ll have to check out that book. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and encouragement.

  14. Words that this girl needed to hear today! Thank you so much for sharing

  15. Great reminder, thank you.

    I am thinking that if there were an eleventh commandment, Thou Shalt Not Worry may have been it.

    Happy SITS day!

  16. I love the idea of an Eleventh Commandment! Good one.

    A little bit of worry and caution is not horrible, but it’s when it prevents you from LIVING in today…that’s when it’s a problem.

    Before I became a Christian, I worried a lot, too. But after my first son was born, and I was saved and baptized, somehow those worries faded away.

    Like Lula always says, “Let go, and let God”. And I try.

    Congrats on being the featured blogger today!

  17. Wow. Great post and well said, too. Boy we all have our sets of worries and it’s really a wake up call when you see it through someone else’s eyes. I may have different sets of worries but it all is basically the same. Great words of of encouragement. Thank you so much for sharing! (Oh, and happy SITS day!)

  18. Thanks for sharing your heart! I needed to read that today!

    Happy SITS Day!

  19. Visiting from SITS again…I’m just loving your blog! I feel like you are inside my head.

    I am a life-long worrier who has struggled and struggled with this. I have a lot of the same issues and tendency to extrapolate to the worst possible scenario (going from “money feels a little tight” to homelessness in just a few short minutes). To be honest, it got to the point that I actually had to start taking Zoloft to help calm the thoughts and get some perspective (plus after having my son, the hormones got all out of whack and made thing really out of control…postpartum depression is NOT a pretty sight).

    I still have moments of sleeplessness but now they tend to be more about ideas for writing on my blog. I try to realize when I can actually do something about a problem and what is truly out of my control and I can’t do anything about it…no matter how much I worry. We recently got “Kung Fu Panda” (great flick by the way) and there is a scene in there where the wise old tortoise says: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift…that is why they call it the present.” And I think that is such a good thing to remember and a way to try and live life.

    I still have my moments, of course, but I’m a lot gentler on myself and I’ve begun to trust that the universe will take care of me…I can’t always understand why something is happening but I just need to have faith.

    Wonderful thoughts. You are truly gifted.

  20. What a beautiful journey you have taken. It sounds like your inner beauty matches your outer beauty! I’m glad you have found peace within yourself, through God. He is amazing!

  21. Great thoughts, and thank you for the book recommendations. I have been struggling through most of this year with various issues, and sometimes emerging in a good place and sometimes staying under my emotional rock. I’ll check them out today (or tomorrow, cuz who needs one more thing added to today?).

  22. omgosh, this hit home for me.

    I feel like I live in a constant state of anxiety … like I am only one more “NO! I DON”T WANT TO” from my kids to get me to total and complete meltdown.

    It’s getting to the point that I can’t watch CNN anymore because it just stresses me out too much because that, coupled with my family issues, are enough to make me run screaming in circles for the rest of my life.

    Love your posts.

  23. Good message, good message. Now, all I need to do is listen.

  24. I think everyone worries about these things, but we don’t often share our worries with our friends. I feel like I’m the only one worrying about this or that, so I especially enjoyed your post. I’ve learned to ask for God’s peace from worrying and not to ask for a solution – I let God handle that. That kind of peace is the best gift ever. Thanks for sharing your post 🙂

  25. Great reminder! I think I need to bookmark this page for future reference.

  26. love love love this!!!! and my fav “Depression is the past superimposed on the present, and anxiety is the future superimposed on the present.”

    so good…and i love matthew ch 6 because i have to recite it to myself all the time…first things first. seek him and only him.

    great reminder! and happy sauciness!

  27. this post really hit home for me.

    i struggle with depression, so i really appreciate your positive outlook.

  28. Whats so funny is that as I’m reading the quotes I’m thinking – yeah but I’ll still worry.

    And then you said it! Reading it doesn’t make it different but acknowledging it might.

    I don’t know if I can make it a life lesson but as a first step I’ll remember this post on Thursday and there’s still a million things left to do! Thanks!

  29. I am a worrier from way back, but especially in motherhood I have worked on keeping that in check. We miss so many blessings when we are consumed in anxiety and worry.

  30. amen. from one reformed worrier to another.

  31. I am also a worrier who tries desperatly not to worry. I try to count my blessings first, then the things I am worrying about seem so small and unimportant. Thanks for the rec’s on the books….I am going to check them out!

  32. Thanks for the great reminder!

  33. I love the quote about depression and anxiety. So true. Isn’t amazing how our perspective changes throughout our lives! But, isn’t it awesome that our God doesn’t change!

  34. Kudos to you for finding a way to pull out of the anxiety and live life. It really is hard, and I see how much my mom struggles with it — we jokingly add and subtract things from her “worry list” but it isn’t that simple. I may have to share this one with her.

  35. This is a great reminder! I read once that if someone held a gun to you and said your life will end today if you don’t stop your worrying….you would find a way to stop immediately. It’s all a choice that we have. A hard choice, though! Thanks for the great quotes. I will re-read them again, I know. Might even check out those great books!

  36. Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping us all remmeber that worry doesn’t accomplish anything.

  37. I think everyone needs a reminder like this. God’s peace is a powerful thing as long as you allow it into your heart.

  38. I very much needed to hear this today!

  39. What a great message in this day and age. It seems that everyday there is more and more to worry about. But on the flip side, if you really think about it, the harder times get, the more our blessings mean to us.
    Happy SITs day!

  40. Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

  41. That’s beautiful advice. I try to follow it myself, it does sound cliche to say take it one day at a time, but it’s true, take in the present and work through it, tomorrow is a another story.

  42. I have huge issues with panic and anxiety and worry. This was a great post!

  43. Anxiety is a serious issue that I suffer from as well. I have to remind myself that just because I hear sirens does not mean that my husband was in an accident leaving my office (yeah, sometimes that bad.) Thanks for the recommendation on the books. And thanks for your lovely insightful post.

  44. Wow- I need to go buy them books.
    Seriously, that sounds JUST like me and my life…1 step forward only to kicked 5 steps back!
    Worry, worry, worry!!
    Panic/anxiety…yep, I hear ya there too!

    Great post!

  45. Worry gets worse AFTER you’re married? Uh oh! Seriously though, it’s a daily struggle not to worry. I rarely worry about the big stuff, just the little stuff. Stuff that doesn’t matter when it comes right down to it.

  46. Knowing it and living it ARE different things. But you are way ahead of the game if you know it and are trying your best to live it!

  47. “Depression is the past superimposed on the present, and anxiety is the future superimposed on the present” OOOooh, I LOVE that! So simply put, yet so true!! Great post! I think alot of us can relate with these feelings.

  48. After reading that I am not the only only one who deals with these I feel much better about who I am as a mom. I am going now to Barnes and Noble to buy those books.

  49. I feel refreshed and encouraged! Wow–blog reading is good for the soul! 🙂

  50. I never knew real worry until after I had my first son… now I have to be vigilant, let anxiety and worry run away with me!

  51. Depression is the past superimposed on the present, and anxiety is the future superimposed on the present.

    Worry never changes a thing, except the worrier.

    These quotes are fab! And very true…I am so happy that you found your way out. Good for you. Love and kindess are never wasted; thanks for some new inspirational thoughts!

  52. I’m totally gonna get those two books for my husband for Christmas. He’s a worrier to the max. Thanks for this wonderful blog! Happy SITS!!

  53. Clearly these are books that I need to read. I worry about what could happen all the time. If anyone is out and hasn’t called I start building these worst case scenarios in my head….

  54. I always have to remind myself, I am not in control, so if I am not behind the wheel of my life, why should I worry how I get to my final destination. Just so long as I give my travel plans over to the ultimate Driver, then I know I will surely make it there.

  55. “Worry changes nothing but the worrier.” What truth in that statement. I know I’m not the only one that worries, but it is encouraging to see others deal with it as well.

  56. Here from SITS – I love this one: *Never dwell on tomorrow – remember that tomorrow is God’s, not ours. Matthew 6:34 – “So don’t be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.” We are to entrust all our tomorrows to Him, and live just today.* I often find myself living too much in the future, and need to remember not to do that.

  57. Thanks for sharing this. It’s so true but unfortunately we need reminding of this every now and then.

    Bella.

  58. this is so true, and yet definitely one of the things that I struggle with the most. I also live paycheck to paycheck and worry a lot. It sounds like this is a book I need to read.

  59. Beautiful message…thank you!

  60. Thanks so much for sharing this great message. I just found you on SITS. I am now a follower. Have a great Thanksgiving.

  61. I am so a worrier, in fact if things are going good for me I find other peoples problems to worry about. I am really trying to work through all of it and a lot of the quotes were spot on and made so much sense. Great motivation!

  62. Hi, my name is…. and I’m a WORRIER!!
    I needed to read that. Thanks for posting about my ‘favorite’ subject.

  63. Great insight. I love when God sets us free from some weight that we carry.

    Blessings,
    Sandy Cooper
    http://www.godspeakstoday.blogspot.com

  64. I think I should read these books…. I have a lot to learn about this!

  65. Great post and great suggestions. We all could learn some lessons about how to deal more effectively with stress and life’s road bumps.

  66. Gosh you are writing on all the things I need to hear 🙂

  67. That, my friend, is a GREAT post! I always have the song come to my mind…”God is in control” can’t remember who sings it..maybe Kathy Tricoli…Happy Thanksgiving! Thankful for no worries;0)
    blessings,
    tonyad

  68. Thank you! Well said! Perfect timing! Great post!

  69. Wonderful message, great post!

  70. I’m a worry wort too. Thanks for the reminder today of what is important…

  71. I’ve been through periods like that where everything at once is going sideways and you worry and worry. Sometime everything works out fine. Sometimes it’s all ok but everything ends up completely different and your life is changed forever. And sometimes a worst case scenario happens, like the death of a loved one, and some how, even still, you keep getting up and going on and eventually life is good again. Worrying doesn’t make any difference in all that, it just adds more stress.

    It’s so easy to say “don’t worry.” But the truth is, sometimes those simple platitudes are the most difficult to live up to. Not worrying takes practice, and I’m still learning.

    Worry clouds your mind and engages the fight or flight response. If you’re not consumed by worry, you can think more clearly and you are better able to make the important decisions that hit you from several different angles at once in a crisis.

    great post!

  72. Great post to share, Summer! I’m in a study with some women right now on the book “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”–another excellent read. So much to chew on here, and I’m so glad to hear you are living victoriously.

  73. Hi, came via SITS, what a lovely post, I am a worry wart… so good to read

  74. In a time of high anxiety for a lot of people this post is perfect.

    I love your writing style!