parenting Archives - Page 2 of 9

being a better mom means saying “me too”

June 30, 2014

Being a better mom means saying, “me too…”

There was once a time where I wondered if God had made a mistake allowing me to be a mom. I felt I was failing much too often, and when I looked around and compared myself to other moms around me, I was certain I was the worst of them all. I simply longed to be a better mom then I felt I was…

Those early years were long and hard and tiring, but I realize now that I would never had survived them if I hadn’t been willing to share the truth of my heart and the reality of my days with the other moms in my life, and especially with the moms I had yet to know from my blog.

Saying and hearing “me too” can save us…even when it seems scary and vulnerable to say so. And today on my post over at The Better Mom, I’m sharing my journey and just how God has proven time and again, that we were never meant to walk this road alone.

Click here TO READ MORE of my story over on The Better Mom…

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the DTR talk: time to define the relationship

October 31, 2013

Sometimes it’s just good to have that talk.
To really set some boundaries so that you and everyone involved can really know what to expect…

I’m getting focused.
I’m defining me.
I’m defining my “brand.”
I’m defining us.

And after you watch, I need a little something from you too.

Watch and see….

***As you may have noticed, I’ve been splitting my time more between my blog and my YouTube channel. It’s been refreshing for me to have both outlets for me to share creatively. And I’m so incredibly thankful and grateful for every single one of you who have continued to support and encouraging me all along in “a place to say, ‘me too!'”***

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parenting, health & beauty confessions of a (non) super mom

October 10, 2013

I talk about a lot of uncomfortable and messy emotions and situations, but being a mommy is a tender place for me.
So I tend not to go there too often.

I carry so much burden, so much responsibility, and so. much. GUILT…and I place it all there myself because I don’t want to be that “mother that wasn’t enough.”

You know the mom I’m talking about.
Dear Jesus, let it not be me.

Except, guess what?
It’s totally me.

One example of just how un-super mom I am showed up in a conversation I overheard between the kids the other day.

Chloe was in the midst of a mini breakdown of her own.
She can’t help it really, she’s her mothers daughter.
Poor thing.
And in the midst of the meldown, Taylor got super close to her and whispered…
“Chloe, if you don’t stop crying, Mommy’s going to make a video of you and show it to EVERYONE.”

Chloe sniffed and looked up with wide eyes, “No she wouldn’t!!!!”

To which Taylor knowingly responded, “Oh yes she will. She’s done it to me SO many times. I’m telling you, you gotta stop.”
{a quick glance at my Facebook/YouTube proves he’s telling the truth. Oops.}

I guess it’s better he remember that parenting fail (or is it?), then some of the other massive mistakes I’ve made.

Like this week when I yelled.
(yes yes, i know it’s hard to believe such a thing of me.)
But, truthfully, it may have been an octave louder than yelling if you ask the neighbors a few blocks down.

It’s just, I had been sick for a week, and their non stop fighting, seriously, had me at hello.
That entire week I was the “mom that wasn’t enough.”
I was too tired.
Too sick.
Too impatient.
And definitely not leaning into or connecting to God one tiny little bit.

All of that “too” quickly accumulated into one big “UH OH, MOMMY’S HAVING A BREAKDOWN!” moment.
And I yelled.
Ish.

Now, to redeem myself ever so slightly…
Eventually, I did calm down and then returned to my stunned family humbling asking for forgiveness.
I confessed that I had been wrong and then I held my babies and kissed them and made sure they knew I was desperately seeking God for help in the areas I struggle with.

“Ya mom, of course I forgive you, but you just gotta really start asking God for even MORE help, ya know?”

TOUCHÉ Taylor.

Their grace and mercy and forgiveness are always overwhelming.
No conditions.
No exceptions.

Just pure unconditional love and acceptance.

So, I share all that to say, I am the furthest thing from an example of a super mom.
But thank goodness they have a SUPER God to cling to instead.

~~~~~~~

I was recently tagged to do this “Super Mom” video on YouTube, which really turned out to be more of a “Confessions of an UN-Super Mom.”
See if you can relate.

And if you’re up for it, I tag you to answer the questions as well!
(Either on your blog or YouTube! And let me know if you do so I can check it out!)

Enjoy!

I would just LOVE if you’d subscribe on over there! Next week I’ll be doing a MAJ Giveaway for subscribers only. And I promise, you DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!

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homeschool confessions: curriculum, scheduling & why we homeschool!

September 23, 2013

I’m now going on my second year of homeschooling, and while I am FAR from truly knowing what I’m doing, I am so much closer to being convinced I am absolutely in the sweet spot of Gods will.

And this comes from a wife who may or may not have threatened divorce once YEARS ago when Jimmy suggested I begin praying about it being my heart.
In basic words, I responded…. “If you EVER desire to have a happy marriage, I suggest you NEVER bring that up to me. I am NOT a homeschooling mom.”

And then I came to know Michelle Duggar.
You know, on TV.
Although my DREAM is to be able to meet her, and possibly stay a weekend with her (with my kids) to truly see her in action and learn from all her wisdom. I also want her to teach me not to yell. (whoever can make that happen is my favorite.)

And then I started talking to moms who don’t necessarily homeschool the traditional way, which intrigued me, and I realized that maybe I COULD do it!!! A little prayer, and wa la…..here I am.

Totally off my anxiety pills and homeschooling, all at once… two things I never thought I’d say in the same sentence.
See?
God is a God of miracles.

And while it is definitely tough some days, I have to say that there have been so many benefits both for my own humility and character, but for our entire family unit.
And yes. It’s totally hard.
But growth doesn’t come easy.
And man, are we growing.

But sometimes God calls us to do hard things, and we obey.
His ways don’t always make sense, but I trust Him.

So. All that said, here is the latest of my Homeschooling YouTube series.
In this video I’m sharing what we’re using and loving for curriculum this year, our schedule, HOW we homeschool, and WHY on earth we decided to take this lofty road.

If you homeschool, or even if you don’t, I highly suggest you watch this… because you just never know.
PLUS, it’s always good to know you aren’t alone.

P.S. I hate asking this because it seems so desperate, but would you PLEASE subscribe. With each view and subscription, I am allowed more opportunities to help YOU! So help me help you. Because YOU COMPLETE ME!

Make sure to leave a comment either here or on my YouTube video sharing your own tips, fave curriculum, vents as well as how you schedule your day.
We all have SO much to learn from each other.
I just LOVE that!

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kids doing chores: a bandwagon to jump on & why!

August 26, 2013

I realize I haven’t posted a whole lot on parenting, outside the whole homeschooling thing, and I’m not quite sure what changed there as it used to be a lot of my material back in the day!

One thing though that I love to read about, is how parents parent their kids!
I want to know the family rules.
The family traditions.
What are their schedules?
What chores do the kids have to do, and do they get paid?
What do they get paid?
Do they take vitamins and what kind?
What are they going to do about dating, and what kind of a gun will they use to keep it under control?
{kidding. ish.}

I suppose I’m a bit of a nosey nelly.

It’s just that every family is SO different, and I feel there is so much, SO MUCH to be learned and I just can’t get enough!

This is why I was so excited to team up with Karen on this Vintage Homemaking Week Series!!! An entire week dedicated to these kind of issues (plus giveaways, score!), just to see how they do things both at home and with their kids.

Think of it as a week of free life coaching/mentoring!

So, all that said, I thought that maybe, perhaps there may be a a few of you out there curious as to how we do things around here as well.

It’s changed a bit, okay a lot, since we started homeschooling and I’m realizing ever so slowly (on my good days) that I kind of love the change.

And it all begins with chores!

Now that we aren’t rushing out the door every morning to school, we are able to take our time getting ourselves, our tasks, and our moods (okay, my mood) together for the day.
One of those tasks includes chores for the kids.
And by kids, I mostly mean Taylor since Chloe isn’t quite 5. (her chore list will officially begin at 5!)

With Taylor being 8 and a half, we feel he’s more than ready to take on a good amount of chores, and we honestly expect him to do them well. In fact, we tell him that if we have to go behind and finish what isn’t completed, he won’t get paid for that particular job.

This is a child definitely driven by money and praise, so this keeps him working at his best!
{you gotta discover what motivates!}

Our Chore List:

The following is what’s expected of Taylor Monday through Saturday, with Sunday being our day of rest.

~ Make bed & brush teeth
~ Clean his bathroom paying special attention to the toilet and floor around the toilet.
(what is the deal with boys and their bathrooms smelling like a homeless man lives in there???)
~ Feed Stella (our dog)
~ Pick up doggie poo
~ Empty dishwasher (this is my personal favorite!)
~ Before bed, pick up room & toys
~ And on laundry days, he has to put away all his clean clothes and hang shirts. Neatly.

Handling the money/allowance:

We don’t give an allowance, but we do pay for chores. For all the work listed above, we pay Taylor $40 a month.
(another option to figure out how much to pay is to double the childs age.)
We’re also discussing that by age 13, we’d cap the amount between $75-100, which will also go towards clothes, phone, gifts, etc. We have some time before then though, so it’s still up in the air…

Also, starting this year Taylor will be taking 10% and putting it towards an offering or tithe. We are allowing him, at this point, to choose whether it goes towards church or to help others in need. This is because we believe God honors the heart and motives behind the giving more than the actual giving, so we hope to teach him to do this with a good attitude.

In addition to tithing out of his allowance, we will also be setting aside 10% for savings. This is such a good habit to learn early that it’s best not to spend it all, and to always set some aside for emergencies or big purchases.

After talking with one my incredible friends and mentors, we have also decided that starting in September (3rd grade) he will begin being responsible to pay for half of his friends birthday gifts. I love this idea, as it teaches him to really think through purchases and actually put thought and heart into what he wants to give.

I have to say, that in this last year, Taylor has truly surprised us with his attitude and responsibility, with chores and handling money, at such a young age.

Every morning when I get up, he is already dressed and every single chore has been checked off before ever turning on the TV. (We only allow TV in the morning, as it’s my morning babysitter, due to the fact that they wake up usually before 6 am. I, on the other hand, am not a morning person. It’s truly all about priorities!)

In fact, when he was away at camp for a week this summer, it hit me just how much he really does help out and what a blessing it is to our family and home.

So, if you’ve been thinking about having your kids take on some chores, or maybe adding in some new ones, let me be the first to tell you, YES, DO IT!

And if you are already on this bandwagon, I would absolutely LOVE to hear what chores you give your kids at what ages, and even what you consider to be appropriate for their allowances. I know every family is different, and I’m always up to hear your advice and wisdom!

GIVEAWAY TIME!!!

One of my subscribers will be winning Financial Peace Junior to help set you up on on your way to the happy land of kids doing chores! (therefore allowing you to sleep in!)

See below for all the ways to enter!

Winners will be chosen and announced on Tuesday, September 3.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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homeschooling 101: 4 tips every family should know

August 22, 2013

{You subscribed, right?!?}

While you will hear MANY tips on Homeschooling, these are my TOP 4 TIPS that I truly feel every homeschooler, new and old, should absolutely know! And please be sure to share your own wisdom & tips in the comments below!

As always, let me know what videos you want to see next!

Music by Helen Austin (with permission!)

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inspiring links: fitness, faith, parenting, family, food & beauty

July 19, 2013

Where I’ve been and what I’ve been loving this week on the WWW!

FAITH/PARENTING:

After my “faith crisis” and especially after these last couple trips to the D.R., I can feel God in the works of changing me. It’s as though He’s given me new eyes and a new heart. And when I read this article on how to rescue our families, I was absolutely challenged and inspired. In fact, I think all parents would be blessed in reading and following his advice. How can we rescue the family? (John MacArthur a.k.a JMac as we call him in our house.)

~~~~~~~

PARENTING:

A friend sent this to me this week since we are both in the throws of sibling conflict. Having tried every method and read every book, I was all about learning another way to find peace. Take a read and let me know what you guys think. 3 Steps that Transform Sibling Conflict into Sibling Comaradare (Psychology Today)

~~~~~~~

RELATIONSHIPS:

After a women’s bible study I attended last weekend, our associate pastor came through and handed us an envelope to give to our husbands. It was a perfect match to everything we wives had just learned in Titus 2, and I may have encouraged Jimmy to read it every day if he could. =) This is definitely a letter EVERY husband (or soon to be husband) should read, and I’m not even kidding you right now. Print it out and hand it over to your man ASAP. Dear Husband (Barabbas Road Church)

~~~~~~~

FITNESS:

Burn away fat cells with this simple trick… I’m intrigued! Especially with my anniversary trip only 4 weeks away….I gotta get vacation body ready!!! If you’ve ever tried this method and have thoughts on it, I’d love to hear! (Dr. Mercola)

Speaking of getting vacation ready, I’ve been upping and intensifying my workouts this week and decided to add a bit to the end of my TAM Meta workouts. I start with one of my new fave YouTube channels Blogilates: This particular inner thigh workout KILLS, but oh my goodness, in SUCH a good way!!! (YouTube)

And then when my thighs are dead, I finish up with some extra arm work. This week I used Tracy’s Hampton Arms, which I’m pretty sure nobody can finish without resting their arms at least once. If you can, I am in AWE!!! (YouTube)

~~~~~~~

FOOD!

We’ve been trying to pin and then ACTUALLY make the healthy meals we find this week to stop our bad problem with eating out. This was by far my favorite meal of all AND the most easy to make! Grilled Chicken & Pineapple Quesadillas (The Girl Who Ate Everything)

~~~~~~~

BEAUTY:

Ipsy: Join me on Ipsy and subscribe to the Glam Bag! You get 4-5 beauty products every month delivered to your door, for just $10. (Michelle Phan curates the bags!) Check out my Instagram pic to see what was in this months bag, which was worth well over the $10 I spent! Score!!!

I’ve also been totally hooked on my Conscious Box Subscription as well. Every month, the box gets better and better, and I discover new organic and natural products that I love.

~~~~~~~

Now it’s your turn!!! Leave a comment letting us know what blogs, links, or videos YOU loved most this week!

xoxo

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unglued

August 29, 2012

“People bump into your happy, and you become unglued.”

~~~~~~~

It was Friday evening and I was snuggled up beside Jimmy where I always find safety in my difficult moments.

In this moment my heart was burdened and I couldn’t quite figure out why.

While I shared my discontent, he sweetly listened and thoughtfully asked questions trying to find the cause..and yet nothing he offered really seemed to fit.

The truth was, when I was honest with myself, I already knew the problem…

I just didn’t know how to fix it.

Tearfully I finally admitted….

“It’s just that I’m just so far from the woman I know God wants me to be. I desire so badly to be that person, and yet every single day I feel as though I fail so miserably. And I just get so tired from trying and treading water, and yet despite it all, here I still am. Feeling as though I’m letting myself, others, as well as God down each and every day….”

“…And I wonder, why did God make me this way, when I know in my heart He desires me to be so far from where I am???”

And in that statement, I found the ultimate cause of my continual angst.

~~~~~~~

Hours later I found myself at a bookstore at the suggestion of my husband to have some time to myself…and decided to grab a book a friend had mentioned she wanted to read.

Without knowing anything about it, I pulled it from the shelf and snuggled into a chair to see what the hype was all about.

And then I read this….

….there it was.

My heart.

My struggle.

My discontent.

I am sometimes just a little…unglued.

I can be an exploder that later shames themselves.

{i beat myself up…}

I can be a stuffer that builds barriers.

{…but i protect myself from others.}

~~~~~~~

Do you ever feel this way?

You promise yourself, as the guilt and shame overwhelm you at night, that the next day will be different.

You’ll keep your house clean.

You’ll find joy and happiness in unpleasant circumstances.

You’ll be patient and calm.
You’ll be a better wife.
You’ll be a more thoughtful friend.

You’ll set aside time with God and make it meaningful.

You’ll exercise and eat right.

You’ll…..

And tomorrow comes, and it’s not different at all.

Maybe, some days, it’s even worse.

Because in that moment when something or someone bumps into your idea of happy…

You become Unglued.

While I didn’t read more than the first two chapters before putting it back on the shelf (hello amazon!), simply by reading the authors heart, I suddenly didn’t feel so alone in my struggle.
I felt a tinge of hope, in that while I may have a long ways to go, I am truly in Gods capable hands.

we all are.

It’s not in His character to leave us as we are.
We are a constant work in progress, and in and through it all, He is at work.

I certainly don’t have the answers on how to change from to there.
But I know the One who does.
And I will at the very least, cling to Him each day, and allow HIM to do the changing instead.

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the one, the favorite

August 23, 2012

Last week was our last full week before school began and schedules get busy.

And as excited as I am about that, I have to say I loved how we decided to spend our last week.

It definitely needs to become a yearly tradition.

Jimmy took the week off work, and we had not a single plan or activity written in stone.
Our only goal was to be together as a family, enjoying our town and weather, and having some fun quality time.

And you know how sometimes I joke about how my kids always want to be wherever it is that I am?

That week I realized how thankful I should be for that.

Recently, I’ve had little bouts of a teeny tiny pity party about not being someones “one.”
You know, the desiring to someones favorite who is always called first, the one who is thought of in moments you’re not there, the one who is called just because…

And in the midst of that pity party, I was blessed to spend an entire week with family.
My sweet little family…that I often take for granted.

And on that last night as I laid my head on my pillow feeling the warm tears fill my eyes over my silly little insecurities, I felt my husbands arms envelop me.

Suddenly, my mind reflected over the week we had spent together.
And, how in every moment, whatever it may have been…
my kids and my husband wanted me there.

They looked to me for comfort, for laughter, for advice, for approval…
They thought of me often, longed for me, loved on me…

And I realized…I had been looking in the wrong places, at all the wrong relationships.
All this time…
I had already been the “one” to the three most important people in my life.

How amazing is it that a simple staycation could end up being so much more than just enjoying our city and taking time off from work?

When in fact, there was actually an incredible lesson God needed to teach me.

Yes, it’s hard and it hurts when the “new” wears off with friendships, relationships, places and spaces….
and it’s humbling to not be everyones favorite…

But as my pity party ended (thank goodness it did, that violin was not lovely), God rewarded me with the incredible gift of peace in knowing all that doesn’t really matter.

Because to my family, I’m the one.

But, more importantly, I realized that to my God, I am His.

His lessons are quiet but my goodness are they mighty.

….and the warm tears spill over.

{last day of staycation, with friends}

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don’t put off till tomorrow what can be done today

August 16, 2012

Recently I was blessed to have some quality time with my sweet friends Candace and Emmy, and over lunch we started talking about the trying times of raising christian kids in a secular world.

Days go by and we think there’s no rush to teach it all, because we have lots of time.
We don’t discuss the important things now because there are games to watch, practices to attend, and appointments to make…and we think it’s okay, because we have tomorrow.

And then suddenly, tomorrow they are 14.
And they have opinions and attitudes.

Time just passes so quickly.
And if we’re not aware, we can feel as though we have failed.

When Candace wrote this amazingly honest article on Ruth’s blog, I was incredibly proud of her for being so open and honest and vulnerable.

But I was also a bit convicted.

Being a parent is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life.
Sometimes I wake up in complete panic and fear over the task of being responsible for teaching and shaping these sweet innocent lives.

The burden is heavy.
But it’s incredible as well and I know that God has trusted me with this gift of raising them.

And the truth is…I also haven’t been intentional enough.

I want to be.
I mean to be.
But I’m so easily distracted…and busy…and there’s tomorrow so…

But I know it needs to be daily.
They need to see me living it not simply teaching it sometimes.

It needs to be our life, and not just part of our life sometimes.

We need to teach them to learn to read and study and cultivate their OWN relationships with the Lord instead of relying on the faith of their parents.
We need to allow time for questions and exploration and discussions for all their concerns and why’s…and make them feel safe to experience those feelings.

We all have good intentions…
But tomorrow comes quickly, so let’s make the most of today.

What about you?

What are you doing that’s intentional with your kids each and every day?

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