God won’t give you more than you can handle

morethanwecanhandle

It’s no secret that I’ve had my fair share of struggles throughout my life…

Divorce.
Rape.
Death.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Loss.

I remember each of those moments or times in my past with such a vivid memory, that tears still come to my eyes when I fully allow myself to sit with the pain I had to endure. Because, truly, how does anyone ever forget the times they cried the most honest and heartfelt tears of their life?

And in many of those struggles, I would often hear what I imagine people meant to be comforting words,

God won’t give you more than you can handle…so know that He must really believe that you are incredibly strong!

And while I longed to find the comfort in that, the truth was, I wasn’t strong…I was weak and afraid, angry and broken. And I knew that I was most definitely was not strong enough to get through the pain I was experiencing…

If you’d like to read more, I invite you to finish the rest of this post today over at The Better Mom.

 
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the DTR talk: time to define the relationship

Sometimes it’s just good to have that talk.
To really set some boundaries so that you and everyone involved can really know what to expect…

I’m getting focused.
I’m defining me.
I’m defining my “brand.”
I’m defining us.

And after you watch, I need a little something from you too.

Watch and see….

***As you may have noticed, I’ve been splitting my time more between my blog and my YouTube channel.  It’s been refreshing for me to have both outlets for me to share creatively.  And I’m so incredibly thankful and grateful for every single one of you who have continued to support and encouraging me all along in “a place to say, ‘me too!'”***

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speaking of marriage: the husband speaks

Yesterday I talked about the hardships of marriage…
Today, let’s just enjoy the lighter side of our marriage.

Introducing, once again, my man.

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what forgiveness means & how to do it for good

I have a hard time with forgiveness.
It hurts being let down by people and events, and it’s so hard to let that go.

But then my mentor recently shared this with me,
“Forgiveness is simply taking the offense and pain out of your lap and instead placing it at the feet of Jesus.”

forgiveness

Immediately, I could imagine a vivid picture for that.
And in that moment, I saw all that was in my lap and weighing on my shoulders.
Then I pictured myself in one giant scoop, handing it all over.

“Dumping it” might be a better phrase.

Whew.
It’s off.

It’s so simple.

I can do that.
I can forgive.

I can let it go, and give it to Jesus.
{over and over again}

I can be free, and so can you.

Just scoop it all up, and leave it with Jesus.
Dump it if you must.
And then go eat chocolate cake or ice cream to celebrate.

Because that, sweet friends, is what forgiveness really is.

Do you find yourself having a hard time forgiving?
Imagine this…
Journal this….
Draw this….
Whatever helps you see it, do it.

It’s time to be free.

 

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a true fairytale

We all tend to dream of bigger and better…
…of more love, more passion, of anywhere or anything other than where we are right now.

We get so settled into our lives and spaces, and we begin to feel bored….discontent.
We look over the fences of our lives and longingly gaze into the dreamy world of others.

The world we think is so much better and easier….and happier.

“We should be happy like that,” we convince ourselves.

We long for it.
We think on it.
We desire it.
We need it.

We think we need it.

That space?
I know it well.

Watching romantic movies and dreaming….longing to be loved like that.

All the while pushing away the one who truly does. 

I know me.
I get distracted.
I get hopeless.
I get complacent.
I am just…. so incredibly imperfect.

I felt myself pulling away, creating a distance that didn’t need to be there….

….and then I talked to her:
“Stuck is in your head and not outside the box, meaning we go in circles with our own thoughts and selfish desires in our minds.  Grass is grass….on both sides.  Put aside the feelings of now because they can’t be trusted, they are like the wind….battle them on your knees in prayer.”
How I loved her truth, how I needed to hear it spoken in that moment, and as it usually happens, tears began to fall….
a lot.
And so I began intentionally being present more.
And he began intentionally loving me in the way I needed.
Last month he watched The Holiday with me, and afterward held me tighter.
Last week he watched The Notebook with me, and wouldn’t let me go as our tears fell.

He whispers promises that he’ll always fight for me.
He doesn’t realize I understand that he already has.
He loves to follow me around all the time.
I never understood why.
But as we tend to do….if we saw it happening in a movie we would say:
“Look at how he loves her….adores her.  He would do anything for her….I want that….”
And you know what?
He does loves me….like that.
He absolutely adores me…just like that.
He is all that I dream of.

jimmy&Summer2

The worst thing you can do is look over the fence.
Stop comparing…
Because that world you think you see?
It isn’t real.

You don’t see the flaws and imperfections and the dirty underwear on the floor.

Your world?
Is better.
If you do the work to make it that way.

I choose to stay right where I am.
With the one who choose me without a doubt or a moments hesitation…
For better or worse in sickness and in health.
I choose him.
jimmy&summer
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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i make myself laugh, and hopefully you too

I keep seeing these x-tra normal videos going around and some of them are SO funny!!!

Like this one about farting in Zumba:

So the other night, Jimmy and I got all wild and crazy and stayed up way past our bedtime to try our hand at making some of our own.

This first one I did alone, as it was my therapy for an argument we tend to have quite often.
More or less this is exactly how it goes:

Can I get a “me too?”

My kids think the wiping poopy booties part is the funniest, and they quote it several times a day.
Which makes me feel super special.
Yes….
We’re all stuck in Jr. High around here.

~~~~~~~

Now this one, Jimmy and I made together.
He started it and we passed the computer back and forth typing in our own responses until it was complete.
I should note….
 Jiu-Jitsu is not gay.  
Yes, the names are kind of funny in a Jr. High sort of way, but be aware that they’re like pit bulls and it’s a martial art not to be messed with. 
Trust me.
I live with three of them.
{two jiu-jitsuers and one pit bull…all three quite similar!)

Also?
The fart part?
That my friends was inspired by a true story….
{in that it happened in the midst of writing the script}

They say real life writes the best scripts.
{or did i just make that up?}

~~~~~~~
Okay, so what’s been making you laugh lately?
Pass it on, because I am in need of some good laughing time.
I did mention I’m homeschooling, right???
{more on that later…when i can think clearly.}
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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love and loss

Every year on this day I write about the same thing.
It’s an incredibly bittersweet day that involves two of the most important and influential men in my life.
{if you’re new to me or this blog, the links are to take you back in time to some of our back story.}

~~~~~~~

9 years ago today, I nervously looked into Jimmy’s eyes and promised to be by his side, for better or for worse, as long as we both shall live.

weddingdaykiss

I knew it was a big promise, as the year we dated had already involved a lot of worse, but I knew that there was nobody else I’d rather have by my side throughout those tough times.

In 9 years of marriage, we have had many many moments of love, joy and incredible happiness.
But in those 9 years, we have had many many struggles and hardships.

There were times when I didn’t think I was strong enough to hold on, times I wasn’t even sure why Jimmy continued to especially when I felt so broken and unlovable.

But because of him…
…because his unconditional love towards me despite all that we had gone through…
has made me love and respect him even more.

I can look into his eyes and know he will never leave me.
I trust that he will always love me.
He will always see the best in me.
And he’ll always encourage me towards better, and remind me that I can be when I can’t see it myself.

He is my world.
My heart.
My everything.

I’ll be honest.
Marriage is one of the hardest things I’ve committed to besides parenting…but the work we have put in is so worth it.
And no matter what I have an incredible best friend by my side until my dying day.

weddingdaydance
~~~~~~~
On the other side, today is also 10 years since I lost my dad.
dadonboat
10 years ago today, I was sitting on the living room floor with the kids I nannied for, when I got the call from my mom.
“They found your dad dead on the side of the road.  Honey, he’s gone.”
I had just spoken with him only a week earlier.
He was fine.
It had to be a mistake.
It wasn’t my dad.
And then my body betrayed my mind, and I crumpled to the floor shaking and crying uncontrollably.
My mind was in denial, 
but my body knew it was true.
While those days and months were most definitely traumatic and heartbreaking, I knew that he had loved and served the Lord as best he knew how.
And God had simply given him rest from his pain and called him home.
And the dad who had always loved me so unconditionally throughout my life was finally being unconditionally loved by His Father in Heaven.
dad&me
~~~~~~~
And it was okay…because a month later, the Lord brought me Jimmy.
The only other man I’d ever met who knew how to love with commitment.
The only other man I knew who loved with no strings attached.
weddingdayjimmy
{our wedding day}

Gods ways never make sense at the time.
But 10 years later, I can see it a little more clearly.
And so today I’ll appreciate my husband more.
I’ll remember my dad with fondness.
And I’ll thank the Lord for having blessed me with both in my life.

~~~~~~~

And Happy Anniversary to my sister Heather and her husband Eric who sweetly allowed us to share their wedding date a few years later.
Love you two so much.

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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traditions

So, in light of my rebellious confession, I feel I need to go deeper here with my peeps.
Let’s talk about traditions.
I already touched on the traditional role of a stay at home mom cooking the dinner. And how that thought not only makes me want to rebel and run away, but it also slightly makes me a bit nauseous.
But, I also have issue with traditions. Doing things simply because it’s the “American Way.”
I did not grow up in a typical way. Some of it I loved, some of it not so much.
I don’t necessarily want the memories of every other person I meet. I like that some of my childhood stuff is different. That it sets me apart. Although strange, I like that ground seasoned hamburger meat constituted a meal in my home. It was good, I loved it, and I can’t say that too many people I know can say that.
I like different. It feels good. It suits me.
I mean, isn’t it more about the love we are giving then what and how things are being done. Isn’t it that our kids simply remember how much they were loved, adored and cared for far more important then if they had a three course well rounded meal every night? (oh yes, it always goes back to the cooking. Always.)
So you see, that’s what I’m saying.
In my eyes, it doesn’t have to be typical. It doesn’t have to be the norm. It can be different then your neighbor or your cousin. God created every single person on this earth to be unique. So why can’t that flow into our lives?
Being American to me doesn’t mean having to be the same, or typical. Of course, if the American Dream or typical suits you, I am all for supporting you in your cause. I just don’t want to wear it. All I desire is to be loved and accepted for what I choose as well.
See, rebellious I tell you.
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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mars & venus

Men Like to Fix.
Women like to Feel.
God likes to do both.
I was reading the story where, in my opinion, the shortest and most powerful verse is found. {John 11:17-44}
Jesus wept.
He felt such deep emotion that he wept.
He literally cried and deeply felt the people’s pain. And when we hurt, when others around us hurt, you can bet He is crying with us and with them.
He Feels our Pain.
And then, when everybody thought it was too late, He went and brought Lazarus back to life.
He Fixes it.
God feels it before he fixes it. But, He is moved to do both.
***
When two are married, they become one.
He brings his fixing, she brings her feeling.
The challenge we face, is how will we merge the two together so that it works?
When we can feel before we fix, but manage to do both, we can create a miracle.
© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”
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you came to the right place….

If you’re new, welcome. And because I think you need to get to know me, let me for a moment, boss you around.
First, go to the top of my blog and click on “About Moi.”
Now for some links to my personal favorite posts…this is a toughie. I love them all. I do, I’m just that humble.
But, here are some to get you started.
Speaking of being humble…I am Humbled
But wait, I can be funny too: You Tube, the Le Musings Way and Can I Use That?
If you’re a mom, you’ll appreciate these: Mommy Dearest and The Look.
If you’re married, here’s some: 10 Ways to Make it to 5 years of Marriage and The First Time I….
And if you’re into fashion or home decorating, these are for you: Fashion Friday and Etsy.
Okay then….that’s just the beginning of me. You have a lot to catch up on before tomorrow. Get busy.

© 2009 “Le Musings of Moi”

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