life/love Archives - Page 3 of 71

we exist only to reflect his light | mini instagram blog session

September 8, 2014

We exist only to reflect His light.
The most lovely light anyone has ever seen.

In everything we say and do…
In all the ways we live and love…
In each and every little decision we make throughout our day…

In all these things, in all these ways, we ought to remember that it’s not about us.
It’s not about proving something.
It’s not even about finding happiness.

It’s only about reflecting Him.

__________

Sometimes I have thoughts.
{Which is often to be celebrated when you’re a parent…}

And so often lately those thoughts just don’t seem enough for a blog post, but the writer in me still desires to share.
In fact, so often its as I write my heart, that I’m better able to understand where it stands.

It’s the writers life, I suppose.

More and more, I’m finding that those thoughts, quotes, pictures and inspirations are spilling out on to the pages of my Instagram, becoming what many hashtaggers might consider #miniblogsessions.
But every once in awhile, I’m thinking those macro posts just might also end up here.

Today is that day.

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saldana fam cam: kauai style

September 1, 2014

For years Jimmy and I have been wanting to plan a family vacation for just the four of us, and after our first year of homeschooling, we knew the idea needed to move up in the priority list of our to do’s, stat. So, we started tucking money away and doing research on where we wanted to go, and finally last December we had enough saved and had confidently chosen our location…Kauai.

11 years ago on our honeymoon we spent a week on Oahu, and a week on the Big Island, and we have always wanted to go back and explore the other islands one day as well. After two years of homeschooling, all I craved was relaxation, so Kauai seemed the perfect choice.

It ended up being the perfect week, and by the time we got home, we were completely content and relaxed. Even the kids seemed more mellowed out, as the plane ride home was much calmer than the plane ride there. (homeschooling was almost easier than dealing with my kids on the way there. oh my word.)

Kauai was unbelievably beautiful, and with every scenic moment we took in, we made an effort to pause for a moment of authentic worship. You cannot deny there is an incredible Creator when you stop and take in all the beauty that surrounds you, especially when you are in a place like Kauai.

I did my best to capture all that I could on the vlog, so that you too could experience a little of the beauty and relaxation the island had to offer as well.

And now that we’re back home, we’re continuing to challenge ourselves to keep up our worshipful heart and mindset, even as we’re surrounded with what feels so simple and familiar…

It’s amazing what you notice when you make the effort.

{To check out all the pictures from our trip and activities, make sure you follow me over on Instagram! I post a lot of things that never end up on my blog or YouTube channel!}

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when being a mom is hard

August 31, 2014

So many times throughout the early years of being a mom, I struggled with feeling so desperately alone and without any kind of actual purpose to my life. I would look at my little ones making messes I was unable to keep up after, and witnessing tantrums I was sure were a direct reflection of my parenting skills, and the combination of it all would make me want to collapse into a puddle of tears.

My days seemed long, thankless and overwhelming.
And I was incredibly tired, hormonal, and discouraged.

And so often, I found myself wondering if just maybe God had made a major mistake in allowing me to be a mother…

But the truth, the reassuring comforting truth is that even on the days when everything goes wrong, and being a mom is hard and it seems impossible to do our job well…we can be assured that our God is faithful and He never ever makes mistakes….

…to continue reading, please visit my full post over at The Better Mom.

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saldana fam cam: beautycon la 2014, dance party & more

August 19, 2014

We’re coming up on the last weeks of summer and I have this itch more than ever to get outside, be active and soak up each and every moment of free time that we have. It’s crazy to me that in just two more weeks BOTH my kids will officially be in school…no more babies in our house!

This week on the Saldana Fam Cam:

This last week my sweet friend, Becky, offered to take our kids for the day so that Jimmy and I could have our first date in 6 months. I didn’t even realize that we had let that much time pass, but once we had the time together again, it hit me just how much we need to make time for that in our marriage. Having uninterrupted time together when you’re not exhausted at the end of the day really makes a difference. But that’s a whole blog post that I’m thinking I might need to write sometime soon. Anyway, we made the most of our day and went grocery shopping without kids (how easy is that?!?), came home to pay bills (no interruptions!), and then got changed and went to hike a few miles down to Torrey Pines Beach and then back up…finishing the night with dinner out at our favorite restaurant, Tender Greens. It was honestly the perfect day for both of us.
Another big event went down this week, and that was Taylor finally got his braces off. Hallelujah, Praise Jesus. Although, now we get to live this next year keeping a 9 year olds retainer in tact. So ya, that’s been fun.
As usual, there was a Saldana Fam dance party that went down randomly in our house. This actually happens quite often, but I made sure to capture each family members mad skills. You’ll notice I don’t, however, capture my own. One day.
We had a family fun night with some of our bestest friends, and Becky…who is supposed to be like me (allergic to cooking) had quite the surprise for us once we showed up to their house.
I picked up Chloe’s books for her first official year of homeschool! I’ve never taught Kindergarten before, but I have to admit that I am beyond excited for this little adventure we get to have together. I’ll be doing a homeschool video/blog post in the next couple weeks to share more in detail about what we’re using and how it’s going!
I may have also done a little shopping at Forever 21, though I did get out of there for under $15. So that’s kind of newsworthy, I think. ha
And lastly, I went up to L.A. on Saturday to attend BeautyCon LA 2014 with Trisha from A Glittery Life, and shared the makeup look & products I used to get ready. The event was INsane, but I’m definitely glad I went and loved the chance to meet with friends as well as try out some new brands to share with you guys! (more on the goodies I got tomorrow!)

* I’ve been trying to be more selective in the moments I vlog and share, so that I am able maintain some kind of balance with being in the moment vs. capturing the ones I want to be sure I remember… It’s a dance I’m learning slowly but surely. xo

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saldana fam cam: shespeaks conference 2014 & more

August 3, 2014

Last weekend I had the incredible opportunity to attend the SheSpeaks conference 2014 and meet up with a few of my most beloved friends, Ruth, Mandy and Karen.

We all first got to know each other way back in the day when we wrote for our other friend, Candace Cameron Bure‘s website, RooMag (which is gone now. sadness!). But actually getting to spend one on one time with them that many days in a row was absolutely refreshing to my soul. They’re the kind of girls that are just…comfort, if you know what I mean. Just truly genuine, comfortable and easy going.

And while I had every intention of vlogging throughout the entire conference, once I got there I was so completely immersed in soaking up all the wisdom being shared, that vlogging was the last thing on my mind. Thankfully I was, however, able to capture parts of incredibly beautiful worship, along with a little bit of when Karen Ehman & Renee Swope shared…both of whom I absolutely adore. {Look them up, you will too.}

If you’re a writer or a speaker or you have dreams to ever be one day, let me just tell you, this conference is for you and absolutely worth every single penny.

It’s just amazing what spending time with creative and like minded friends will do for you.
We should all be doing more of that, conferences or not.

Also included in this weeks vlog…
~ Taylor’s tips for me on how to write a book (who needs a conference after this wisdom?)
~ Makeup I’m wearing
~ Young Living, Butter London & Cover FX unboxings
~ Jimmys Facebook dilemma
~ My tips on how to pack jewelry so it doesn’t tangle
~ One of my most delicious Vitacost food finds
~ and you definitely can’t miss Taylor’s magic tricks….

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saldana fam cam: intermittent fasting & surfing lessons

July 21, 2014

I’ve said this before, but I have to say it again, I am truly loving this new saldana fam cam tradition we have started in our family. Time is going so fast (although it doesn’t much feel like it today. ie: summer vacation. ie: kids always around each other. ie: fighting. ie: i’m going a little nutso.)…okay, what was I saying???

Um ya, that time is going so fast with my kids growing up, and I honestly don’t want to miss a moment. Last week was definitely one of my favorites so far this summer, as the kids are finally starting to get into the whole surfing thing, which has been Jimmy’s dream of a lifetime. I love that I was able to capture that “first” of theirs.

We also spent a ton of time at the bay relaxing and getting sunburned (I’ll have a video/post up soon of how I healed it overnight!!!), and then there was THE sweetest thing that happened that my kids have EVER ever done for me so far. That moment honestly is still carrying me through almost a week later…that’s just how much speaking someone’s love language will do for them. {Husbands, pay attention.}

I’m still learning how to do this whole vlogging thing correctly in a way that captures our life and is entertaining to watch, but isn’t overkill and still respects my kids privacy with what they feel comfortable sharing. Oh the balance that is motherhood.

Hope you guys enjoy!

….xo

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beauty hauls, weekly workouts, what we eat & smoothie recipes

June 23, 2014

Every Sunday from here on out, I am starting a new thing on my YouTube channel where I upload a vlog video from the week. My kids are growing so fast, and so much is happening in our life, that I don’t want to miss a thing. Plus, I love watching other people vlogs and getting little snapshots into their real life, and so I thought it would be fun to do something similar as well.

Some weeks may be more chit chat, some weeks more beauty, some more of what we’re eating and smoothie recipes, and some may have more of the kids & Jimmy than anything else. But each week I want to capture the essence of our life and interests so that we can always look back and see where we were at that time of our life.

I really hope you guys subscribe and join my family each week in all that do and love!

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learning how to write again

June 9, 2014

I’ve been at this blog thing for quite a long time. What started as way to write, years later has turned into something far greater than I ever expected. And I don’t mean that in terms of page views, readers, or even SEO. You see, I simply wanted to write. I’ve always felt and said that in order to breathe, to think, to be…I just needed to write. Writing was my exhale.

And for years I’d found comfort in the pages of my journals, processing through my parents divorce, rape, death, broken friendships, broken dreams, heartbreaking decisions and painful relationships…as well as celebrating the joys, the lessons, the wisdom and the strength that stood out through it all. Allowing my pen to spill the stories, the feelings, and the memories, gave words to so much that I found I was never able to speak out loud.

Inside it was just a hurricane of emotions, but on paper, it would suddenly make sense. And only once that it was written, was I able to find the courage and the words to speak.

Starting my blog… It was because I deeply longed to write and have it be…less lonely, I suppose. I never had expectations of how many readers, or comments, or page views, or even had any comprehension of SEO or Google Page Ranking. I simply wanted to share publicly the echos of my journals in hopes that maybe there were others who connected and needed to feel less alone in it as well.

*******

And as things happen over time, things changed.
Blogs changed.
Blogging changed.
And I changed.

I looked around and quickly noticed I wasn’t enough.
I compared…too much, and then suddenly I found myself joining the race and dancing the dance. I tried to put on the costume and act the part, doing all that I felt I was supposed to. I attempted to look like everyone else, all the while longing for the simplicity of what it had all begun as for me.

Still though, I shared my life, joys and struggles…but as I’d close the laptop each time, I noticed that I was feeling even lonelier than before the blog had ever begun. Writing was no longer what it once had been to me…and it no longer soothed me the way I had always known and needed.

I was trying to play by the rules and keep up, and it simply wasn’t working for me. Here I was totally exposed yet incredibly alone, and I found myself beginning to resent writing for causing such a struggle.

It was when an opportunity to submit a book proposal to an agent who had hope for me and my ideas, a lifelong dream of mine, seemed to stop me in my tracks. My excitement was quickly replaced with feeling paralyzed by the task of having to include my reach, my numbers and ultimately what felt so much like my “worth.”

I compared, I fell short, and in that, I lost my ability to write.

Ironically, it took until this last writing sabbatical, weeks of not writing…for me to find the truth in all this. To find the reason behind my resistance. It’s as though God stepped in and put a firm halt to the dog and pony show and said, “Stop this. This isn’t who I created you to be. This isn’t what I’ve asked you to do. You are not them. You are you, the you I created with my own hands just I needed you to be, and just because it maybe doesn’t look like what the rest of them are doing, doesn’t make what I have for you wrong. It doesn’t make you not enough. You are enough. My plan is enough. Trust me.”

“They” say to know my page views, and not only know it, but strive for more. I should create titles and topics and keywords that have something to do with SEO, and then promote and get others to promote so that page rank or something like that gets me further up the blogging chain. Clickable links, pinnable pictures, weekly memes, link ups, not too much of this, but just enough of that…

I’m not trying in any way to say all of that is wrong. It works for SO many. It helps to get your message out. And that can be amazing, especially when ultimately the message is about Him. (the Lord)

But I now understand and fully embrace that it is not all about that for me.
Before anything, I simply come to write.

And so from this moment on, whether it makes sense or not, or follows successful blogging protocol or not…simply writing is what I must get back to doing.

All the rest I joyfully place in God’s ever so capable hands, right where it belonged from the beginning. I’m learning how to write again…

I’m learning to write again…

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sabbatical. it’s kind of a thing.

May 19, 2014

sabbatical

noun

: a period of time during which someone does not work at his or her regular job and is able to rest, travel, do research, etc.

: a break or change from a normal routine

It’s kind of a thing, taking a sabbatical, if you haven’t noticed….especially around these here blogging parts. In fact, towards the end of last year, I jumped on the bandwagon and had my own little break for a limited amount of time. And it was quite lovely.

God knew what was up when after 6 days of creating the Universe and all of life, He called a time out.

“…and on the 7th day, He rested.”

I’m certainly not God (um, did I even need to write that statement?!?), and I’m certainly not creating the Universe, but there has been a whole lot of busy in my life lately and I’m finding it difficult to do it all well AND be present with the ones who matter most.

,/p>

I love blogging. I love writing. And I love each and every one of you that takes the time to read, comment, email and sweetly support me in my little online hobby.

But, if I don’t take a minute to rest and get things back into balance, there will be nothing left of a blog or an online hobby to connect through.

So for the next week, maybe two, will you be praying for me as I breathe and pray and find balance and intention in all that I’ve given my heart to? Because what good is a rest, if it’s not in His presence?

…and if you really miss me, there is always email, my YouTube, Instagram (my go to social media choice!), and of course, the Mommalogues!

Love you all dearly…see you in a bit!

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missions trips …how do you save the one who doesn’t want saving?

May 7, 2014

Missions Trips …how do you save the one who doesn’t want saving?

I’m not quite sure how to begin this story, and there is a part of me that struggles even to try as I fear the heartache becoming more than it is.

I suppose this is the nature of what we’re doing, and maybe in time, it stings a little less? Although, in truth, I pray it doesn’t for me, because something like this should never be easily digested.

I’ve told you before how I came to meet the two orphans we’ve been supporting, Daniella & Nano. (click the link to read the story if you’ve missed it) Immediately, their frail bodies and big doe eyes stole my heart, and I knew without a doubt God was prompting me to allow them in.

We’ve kept in touch over the year, sending letters and pictures and gifts, and we loved hearing that they were safe, in school, and for once, being well cared for. (Pastor Joel took them in to live with him and his family.) We knew they were struggling, as both kids had likely experienced some kind of abuse, but now they were safe, and we had hope.

About a week before we were about to head over, we found out that Daniella (age 9) had been non-stop crying for weeks at a time, begging to go back to live with her mothers last boyfriend and 17 year old sister who has two small children of her own. The crying was so much, and so intense, that her behavior began creating a lot of distress for Pastor Joel and his wife, and their own three children.

When we finally arrived and were able to sit down with her, the Pastor and Robert (the head of the foundation), we all realized there wasn’t a whole lot more we could do. She wanted to go. She was going to go, and there wasn’t a thing…legally, we could do about it.

We had a heart to heart with her, explaining with a firm tone of love and passion, that we were invested in her. That we wanted so much for her future. For her to know the God that loves her. To one day learn to read. To graduate high school and attend University, and that we wanted so much to love and support her every step along the way. But, that we couldn’t make her do all these things. She had to want it too.

But what does a 9 year old know about making a decision like that? What does a 9 year old understand about planning for her future, when all she sees around her is a future of poverty & death, just the same as it was for her parents. There is no welfare system, no foster system, no CASA program assigning someone to look out for her best interests…it’s simply her who gets to decide, and there isn’t a thing we can do, but pray and hope and let her go.

We drove her back to her old village the second day we were there, and all the way I hugged her and kissed her and told her over and over again how we loved her and that we would never stop praying for her. She snuggled in close to me and promised she’d come back to see me the next day, and every day until we left.

It was a promise she had no intention of keeping.
For that was the last I saw of her while we were there.

I asked her brother, Nano, if she was safe and being fed…and he quickly responded that she wasn’t getting beat. It was an answer given too quick, and I felt a cold chill race down my spine. A chill that lingers with me even now.

I just can’t understand. I won’t ever be able to wrap my mind around any of it.

It’s a harsh reality when you can’t play God.
It’s a tough reminder that impossible situations only belong to Him and must be continually placed in His capable hands.

And so each time I think of her face, or glance upon her picture, I will prayerfully place her heart and her situation back right back where it belongs.

With Him.

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