i have no more words…

“It’s just…I have no more words.”

It was the only thing I could whisper through my tears the other day while I hid under the safety of my covers, and it was the most genuine and honest I had been in a long time.

Because the heartbreaking truth is…I have no more words.

I have lived out loud in a vulnerable way for many years, and through those many years it allowed me this incredible sense of safety in a way that will never make sense, even to me.

It’s just that right now, as much as I long to continue to be just as honest and real…I simply can’t.

I honestly have no more words.

For months now I’ve heard a whisper telling me so, with each day getting increasingly louder, yet I determined to fight it with every ounce of middle child I had left in me.
In this moment, the fight has left, and I am simply tired.
I have nothing left to give.

A writer without their words, is like a person without a soul… you truly no longer feel alive.

You no longer feel.

I need some time (weeks? a month?).
I need to clear my mind.
To find my truth.
My joy.
A clear perspective, healing, and a renewed Purpose in ALL things.

Of course, I’ll still be here, because that part of me still feels creative and alive.
It’s simple and happy, easy and fun, and that is all I can have asked of me right now.

In this time away, I long to make it intentional.
Just as I have been, I’ll continue to be searching, reading, studying, journaling, living, experiencing, loving, engaging, planning and finding focus, breathing, and leaning into life rather than away from it.
You know, all the things that I know I MUST do that will, without a doubt, give me back my words.

It’s as though one book in the series is closing and in order for the next one to begin, life has to happen a little.

There’s a reason for this.
There’s always a reason.
And I know I’ll be back.

Renewed.
Refreshed.
With a purpose.
With a passion.
With my words.

See you on the other side.

*as is always the case, i love love love hearing from you.  so while i may not be sharing my heart here for a short bit, i’m still just an email away.*

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