I talk about a lot of uncomfortable and messy emotions and situations, but being a mommy is a tender place for me.
So I tend not to go there too often.
I carry so much burden, so much responsibility, and so. much. GUILT…and I place it all there myself because I don’t want to be that “mother that wasn’t enough.”
You know the mom I’m talking about.
Dear Jesus, let it not be me.
Except, guess what?
It’s totally me.
One example of just how un-super mom I am showed up in a conversation I overheard between the kids the other day.
Chloe was in the midst of a mini breakdown of her own.
She can’t help it really, she’s her mothers daughter.
Poor thing.
And in the midst of the meldown, Taylor got super close to her and whispered…
“Chloe, if you don’t stop crying, Mommy’s going to make a video of you and show it to EVERYONE.”
Chloe sniffed and looked up with wide eyes, “No she wouldn’t!!!!”
To which Taylor knowingly responded, “Oh yes she will. She’s done it to me SO many times. I’m telling you, you gotta stop.”
{a quick glance at my Facebook/YouTube proves he’s telling the truth. Oops.}
I guess it’s better he remember that parenting fail (or is it?), then some of the other massive mistakes I’ve made.
Like this week when I yelled.
(yes yes, i know it’s hard to believe such a thing of me.)
But, truthfully, it may have been an octave louder than yelling if you ask the neighbors a few blocks down.
It’s just, I had been sick for a week, and their non stop fighting, seriously, had me at hello.
That entire week I was the “mom that wasn’t enough.”
I was too tired.
Too sick.
Too impatient.
And definitely not leaning into or connecting to God one tiny little bit.
All of that “too” quickly accumulated into one big “UH OH, MOMMY’S HAVING A BREAKDOWN!” moment.
And I yelled.
Ish.
Now, to redeem myself ever so slightly…
Eventually, I did calm down and then returned to my stunned family humbling asking for forgiveness.
I confessed that I had been wrong and then I held my babies and kissed them and made sure they knew I was desperately seeking God for help in the areas I struggle with.
“Ya mom, of course I forgive you, but you just gotta really start asking God for even MORE help, ya know?”
TOUCHÉ Taylor.
Their grace and mercy and forgiveness are always overwhelming.
No conditions.
No exceptions.
Just pure unconditional love and acceptance.
So, I share all that to say, I am the furthest thing from an example of a super mom.
But thank goodness they have a SUPER God to cling to instead.
~~~~~~~
I was recently tagged to do this “Super Mom” video on YouTube, which really turned out to be more of a “Confessions of an UN-Super Mom.”
See if you can relate.
And if you’re up for it, I tag you to answer the questions as well!
(Either on your blog or YouTube! And let me know if you do so I can check it out!)
Enjoy!
I would just LOVE if you’d subscribe on over there! Next week I’ll be doing a MAJ Giveaway for subscribers only. And I promise, you DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!
xo
