Sometimes I struggle with Christianity.
Often times I struggle with church.
There tends to be so much “religion” that we are no longer looking up and around at people and their needs.
We get so caught up in programs and numbers and building bigger churches with popular guest speakers and headlining bands that we tend to miss out on people’s hearts, their needs, and all the things God has asked us to care for in His name.
We keep things light and happy and unoffending…so that we can appeal to those who don’t believe…yet.
We want to look cool, with it, and hip…so we bend a little, and we think we’re serving a purpose in the end.
And so we all continue to eat baby food, serve baby food, and then we’re utterly confused when we get tossed to and fro by the constant wind and desires of this world.
We are the hungry trying to feed the hungry, and it’s simply not working.
We have no roots.
We live and act and look no different than the world around us.
Often times, we end up looking worse.
And it seems all this, in turn, is resulting in a bunch of Christians not truly living out the faith God called us to.
We may be knee deep in service and grand gestures of giving, but we’re so busy in all of it, that we ignore the lonely person who is in desperate need of love right before us.
And I believe God looks at those little gestures just as much.
Maybe more?
We miss the growth.
We miss the opportunities.
We miss the real needs.
And in all that, we can cause so much unintentional damage.
I know because…
I’ve met the damaged.
I’ve listened to their fears and frustrations, and could only say “Me too…” and “Look only at Him.
I know because…
I’ve been the damaged, and I’ve had to give myself the exact same advice.
It pains me to see.
Aches me that I’ve been a part of it all.
I can check the box:
All of the Above.
And if I, as sinful and broken as I am, am hurt by this…
I can’t imagine how God must feel when He looks down on us,
and He sees those who don’t believe in Him acting more Christlike than His own followers.
How that must pain Him.
How angry He must feel.
We have it all wrong.
I have had it so very wrong.
I have come to understand that God created me sensitive for a reason.
And my sensitivity has recently opened my eyes and heart.
I so desire to study, to devour God’s Word, so that I can truly understand more how to live like the Author.
I want my insides and outsides to match.
I want to notice what others don’t.
I want to live, love, serve, forgive and believe….just the way God intended us to.
This is my prayer.
For me.
And for all of you.
Amen…
& I think a lot of what you said is exactly why people turn from being a Christian – because they’re not seeing a TRUE Christian heart… but rules & lists to follow… not lives lived…
It’s all about focusing on Jesus and not people. Or we hurt. Because we are a sinners.
If I never went through depression, I would never be able to feel for others. If I never went through depression and hormonal imbalances, I would be probably disgusted with so many things and people around me. If I never cried myself to sleep, I would never be able to understand tears of others. I was raised to be arrogant but God had better plan for my life. That’s why your post touched my heart so deeply. Just these days I was thinking of these things and yet… God is so merciful on all of us!
He makes everything for good. You prove it. Amen.
I am so glad I stumbled across your blog!! This is EXACTLY how I feel and I have let it run me out of many churches before but that is just letting the enemy win. No more, I am staying where I am and I’m going to make a difference in Christ’s name!! Thank you for your post, God Bless You!!
Monica!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, and I love your heart and dedication to stay and make a difference. Churches need more hearts like yours. xoxo
Found you through a Pinterest link. 🙂 oooh, boy, the struggle IS real! Thanks for this post. Even though I’m finding it much later than you wrote it, I know that it’s found right on time! *grin* My life looks nothing like the disciples around me. I took myself out of “leadership” in the church because of the…for lack of a better word, “corporation” of it. I had been unable to live out the bible the way Jesus says so I went back to being what I call a “rank & file” disciple. I love my life!!!! Even though I’ve been called disunified sometimes or even divisive by leadership in my church as I live out what I feel God calls me to do. Sometimes what God calls me to do is not what leadership is doing but I live in the bible-belt and some are use to living more according to church tradition than scripture. I’m still attending my fellowship and trying to affect change and inspire others. I pray God helps me…I know I’m not alone in my church in this but we get tired in the battle sometimes. Anyway, thanks for this post…it inspires me, especially since, as a single Christian who has never married, has no bio children and am 40 years old, I’m about to adopt a teen from foster care next month! I need the encouragement to keep living the bible and the life God’s calling me too no matter what other Christians are doing/not doing around me.
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
I definitely struggle with this area b/c of course followers are desired, but truly reaching to people’s hearts is the ultimate goal to me. What I desire to find is the how. How to exactly reach people while still doing it God’s way.