can i possibly make a difference?

“Can I possibly make a difference?”

I can’t tell you how many times I have asked this question.
Not always out loud really, but in my actions.
In my writing…
…mostly in my heart.
and in my prayers. 

“Lord, am I really supposed to be this way?  And how can you possibly use someone like me to make a difference and live a life that is worthy?”

The more I tend to bare my heart and soul with other women though, the more I realize how similar we all really are.
And how we are all asking, in our own ways….

Am I worthy?
Will I ever be able to truly make a difference?

Sometimes I think we believe we have to do something big and grand and noticeable for this to be settled within us.
We think we have to DO and BE a certain way in order to meet the criteria we’ve set for ourselves in order to meet whatever “worthy” looks like for us.

I do this.
Daily.

I’m terrible at math, and yet I always see to want to look at numbers.
How much do I weigh?
How many inches am I losing?
How many people are reading my blog?
How many comments am I receiving per post?

And if it’s not ALL that I hope it to be or what I’ve compared it to others, I think…
“You see, Lord?  I’m not enough.  People don’t see.  I’m not like the rest who are making it.  I’m not worthy enough to make a difference.”

But that’s my humanness.
And God’s math never makes sense anyways.

First?
It’s not about NUMBERS, or WHEN WE GROW UP, or WHEN WE FINALLY HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER….It’s about being exactly WHO we are right now, WHERE we are in life at this moment, and using all of that to do SOMETHING for someone else. 

Second, the more I search, the more I’ve been discovering that the question isn’t so much “what is God’s will for our life” that needs to be our concern…
I believe it’s more of “What is His will for us TODAY?  And how can we make a difference RIGHT NOW?”
Who can we reach?
Who can we love?

It’s about today. 
Because today is the life we’ve been promised.

Finally….and this is IMPORTANT:
We are worthy because we were created. 
We are worthy because Jesus lived and died for us.
And we will make a difference, despite how flawed we believe we are, because He created us just so, and he “saw that it was good.”

So I’ve been learning to take all my MANY shortcomings (trust me, there are many, just ask my husband.  or actually, don’t!), and I daily bring them to Him, and ask humbly…
“God, show me how to use this (good or bad moment/issue) for your glory….and just use me anyway!  Allow me to make a difference.”

I make this the prayer of my heart.
And then each day, I show up.  (after 10am preferably)
And I find the opportunities God has laid before me in THAT DAY.

Today we are worthy. 
It is today that we must choose to love, smile, and pray for someone other than ourselves.
It is today we can hug a friend that is hurting or write a note to encourage someone.
It is TODAY we can be the love of God…despite where we are in life or what our faults may be. {again, I speak from experience.}

And in that one little moment that we set ourselves aside and instead choose to show God’s love…
The angels start partying in heaven because, “Lord Jesus, look at how that worthy person has made a difference!”
{is that maybe when an angel gets her wings too, or am i confusing stories?}

And it is then that we finally receive the answer to our hearts deepest desire.“Am I worthy?  Can I possibly make a difference?” 

His answer is,
“Yes.  Absolutely.  I created you worthy.  I made you to make a difference.  I see you, and I love you.” 

And that is the truth we hold on to.

It means so much that you are here! I know life gets busy though, so if you don't want to miss a thing, I invite you to subscribe to my blog through email!