I thought for sure I began homeschooling simply for my kids.
There were so many reasons and I knew there would be so many benefits.
I had no idea that in the process there would be a gigantic mirror held up to my heart showing me all the “junk” I had hanging around in there.
There was a day about a week ago when I reached my limit.
I had homeschooled long enough relying on my own strength, and God allowed me to crash and burn.
My spirit was broken and I knew it was time to submit to God’s way.
There was brokenness, but the brokenness was what finally lead me to repentance.
And I realized God absolutely called me to homeschool for now, He just never called me to do it on my own.
Not only do I need to rely on Him….
…I also need support.
From my husband.
From other homeschooling moms.
From my friends.
But mostly, I need to remember I can’t get through a DAY without HIM leading it right from the start.
Still.
I’m not perfect.
I have to take lots of deep breaths.
I have to say a lot of “I’m sorry’s.” “Mommy’s mess up too.” And “Will you please forgive me’s?”
We pray together.
A lot.
We have to in order to get through it all.
But even on the hardest days I don’t doubt this calling for a moment.
(ok truth. i do in SOME moments, but they’re fleeting.)
It is for me.
For my babies.
For my family.
For my relationship with the Lord.
It’s all these reasons and more.
I take it day by day….
And He carries me through.
If only I remember to let him.
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”