a true fairytale

We all tend to dream of bigger and better…
…of more love, more passion, of anywhere or anything other than where we are right now.

We get so settled into our lives and spaces, and we begin to feel bored….discontent.
We look over the fences of our lives and longingly gaze into the dreamy world of others.

The world we think is so much better and easier….and happier.

“We should be happy like that,” we convince ourselves.

We long for it.
We think on it.
We desire it.
We need it.

We think we need it.

That space?
I know it well.

Watching romantic movies and dreaming….longing to be loved like that.

All the while pushing away the one who truly does. 

I know me.
I get distracted.
I get hopeless.
I get complacent.
I am just…. so incredibly imperfect.

I felt myself pulling away, creating a distance that didn’t need to be there….

….and then I talked to her:
“Stuck is in your head and not outside the box, meaning we go in circles with our own thoughts and selfish desires in our minds.  Grass is grass….on both sides.  Put aside the feelings of now because they can’t be trusted, they are like the wind….battle them on your knees in prayer.”
How I loved her truth, how I needed to hear it spoken in that moment, and as it usually happens, tears began to fall….
a lot.
And so I began intentionally being present more.
And he began intentionally loving me in the way I needed.
Last month he watched The Holiday with me, and afterward held me tighter.
Last week he watched The Notebook with me, and wouldn’t let me go as our tears fell.

He whispers promises that he’ll always fight for me.
He doesn’t realize I understand that he already has.
He loves to follow me around all the time.
I never understood why.
But as we tend to do….if we saw it happening in a movie we would say:
“Look at how he loves her….adores her.  He would do anything for her….I want that….”
And you know what?
He does loves me….like that.
He absolutely adores me…just like that.
He is all that I dream of.


The worst thing you can do is look over the fence.
Stop comparing…
Because that world you think you see?
It isn’t real.

You don’t see the flaws and imperfections and the dirty underwear on the floor.

Your world?
Is better.
If you do the work to make it that way.

I choose to stay right where I am.
With the one who choose me without a doubt or a moments hesitation…
For better or worse in sickness and in health.
I choose him.
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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