Archives for May 2012

…where you’re free to say, "me too!"

In all my years of writing and working on this blog, I’ve always been encouraged to stick to one type of topic.
You know, because then I would be more “marketable.”
Be a Fashion Blog.
Be a Mommy Blog.
Be a Home Decor Blog.
But, I just couldn’t seem to commit to one particular area.
I’m so much more complicated than that.
{just ask Jimmy.  he’ll tell you.}
Besides, you all know, “Don’t put Baby in the corner.”
Instead, as time (years, yikes!) has passed I can see that my writing style has just naturally developed into what will soon become my blogs tagline…
(ish.  it’s in development)
….a place where you’re free to say, “me too.”
Because really, that’s what keeps me writing.
For all those times I share and then you’re brave enough to say, “Me to,” 
…bonding happens.
It’s how we connect.
It’s when we feel safe.
They’re one of the most comforting words I could hear.
It’s what’s brought me my closest friends in life.
It’s what has brought me all of you.
It’s what builds bonds that last.
It’s what my blog and my writing is all about.
So, now I can say when people ask me what kind of blog I have, 
“It’s a ‘Me too!’ Blog.”
I wrote more about this on my article over on Candace Cameron Bure’s website, RooMag. 
(where i’m a monthly contributor, btw!)
Come over, read, comment, and feel free to say those magic words. 
xoxo
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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what i wore on the mommalogues

{to see the videos themselves, either click the title links or check out the video plug in on the right sidebar!}
On Saturday’s we love to go boating, jet skiing, or even just take a few hours to spend at a beach house.  Now, we don’t actually have any of those things….but some of our friends do, and I’m hoping that by writing this they’ll see that why yes, we would like to be invited.  But until that happens, our favorite thing to do on a Saturday is actually to have no plans.  No birthday parties, no appointments, no anything.  It’s quite boring actually, and we kind of like it that way.
what i’m wearing….
top:  agenda, salvation army
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Just one pregnancy warning???  Seriously???  If it were up to me to warn women about pregnancy, I’m pretty sure people would stop having babies in America.  Instead of a simple warning, I’d choose to write a pamphlet complete with chapters and subtopics.  I just feel it’s better they know now then to be surprised….Here’s where I’d begin….Hemorrhoids?  Your new lifetime friends.  Get a blowup pillow to sit on now.
what i’m wearing….
top:  bcbg, platos closet
headband: h&m
~~~~~~~
During the summer, I most enjoy sleeping in.  And while that has yet to happen during a summer, I really do think this summer will be different.  But, in addition to that I think just being able to be outdoors near water and in the sun, is by far our favorite activity.  My kids love the pool and beach (although we all hate the sand….), so I have a feeling that will be the summer activity of choice.
what i’m wearing….
top: walmart (right???)
necklace: shoplately.com sale rack (obsessed with this website)
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Let me just put it out there, as I speak from experience, dating is so overrated.  And I plan on instilling that very idea into my children’s heads from now until they are ready to marry.  In fact, I quite like the way the Duggars do it.  They kissed dating goodbye. (good book, by the way, I highly recommend it to all teens.)  And instead they only “court” when they think they have found someone to marry.  That’s just genius if you ask me.  So, at what age you ask?  Is never too strict?
what i’m wearing….
tunic: xhilaration, salvation army
necklace: jennifer zeuner
~~~~~~~
 If you follow me on twitter or facebook you know that I have been dying a slow death from the flu.
Or not so much dying, but feeling like it.
Hopefully I’ll be back in action in time to enjoy the holiday weekend.
Have an amazing weekend you guys!
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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need humility? have kids.

Oh, how parenting keeps me humble.
Taylor, my spirited strong willed one….has always kept me on my toes.
At home.
And in public.
But, mostly his “shows” are just when he’s around me or his dad.
Then the moment he steps into the care of ANYONE ELSE, his halo comes out and people absolutely delight in him.

Picture 4

Once he started school, his halo made a permanant appearance, and at every parent/teacher conference they absolutely gushed over my son, and I had to ask several times….
“You mean Taylor???  Taylor SALDANA????  The one who THROWS himself on the floor in public simply because the sky is blue???”
I admit, yes….he IS a pleasure and incredibly sweet and oh so very tender hearted….but at that age it seemed to be so very tucked WAYYYYYY under the screaming insane temper tantrums.
{the ones we had to start recording to prove we weren’t really liars.}
But, Chloe.
Oh sweet happy go lucky, just wants to make people happy, Chloe.
While a bit fiesty (like her mama), her passion to make you smile just overshadows it all.
She snuggles and giggles and laughs and sings and dances and is just sooooo happy.

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Because of this, I couldn’t WAIT to get her into preschool to show off my AMAZING parenting skills, because…

“Look!  She does tricks!  And she’s HAPPY!  And this is all because of ME and my amazing parenting!!!”

But then school began….and my humbling took place.
Every week.
For 10 months.
Although, I think maybe we had 2 good months, so to be fair I’ll say 8.
Nearly every week when I drop off Chloe, it seems as though the teachers suddenly find themselves VERY busy.

Nearly every week I have had the pleasure of having a parent/teacher conference when I pick up my SWEET little beautiful and STUBBORN girl, Chloe.

You can only imagine my confusion.

THIS was the child I was supposed to hear all the amazing wonderful “She’s such a pleasure to have in class, and we LOVE the tricks you’ve taught her you WONDERFUL AMAZING PARENT who created all this on PURPOSE!!!”
Instead, I have her teachers number on speed dial, a warm seat in the principals office, and sorrowful looks from the parents who watch me each and every week “stay after class.”
My humbling only continued last week when I may have started crying at 8:30 in the morning, while I stood in my “outside pajamas” (sans bra), staring at said SWEET daughter who was in the midst of FREAKING THE EFF OUT in the middle of the preschool hallway.

{if you thought that sentence lasted forever, try standing in a public hallway watching your childs head spin.}

And all because I wanted her to start saying “hi,” or at the very least wave to her principal when she was greeted every morning.

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I know.
I’m a terribly mean mother.
I don’t even allow wire hangers.
One thing about parenting I’ve learned is that you can’t take credit for ANYTHING.
Never ever brag, and never ever judge another mother.

Because their humbling is happening, you just may not get the chance to see it in public like others get to see mine.

{it’s like they know i need blog material or something. my word.}

What has your kid done to embarass you lately?
Feeling humble?

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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it’s what i wore out & some shocking news

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what i’m wearing….
jeans: seven for all mankind, plato’s closet
top: forever 21
leather jacket: apple bottom, platos closet
shoes: hautelook
ring: plato’s closet
bracelet: twisted silver
necklace: shoplately.com sale rack (my latest OBsession!)
sunnies: f21
toe nail polish: paradise pink in pixi, target

~~~~~~~

So, this is the FIRST time I’ve worn jeans in a lonnnnnng time.
I enjoyed food quite a lot through the winter (fall, spring….early summer) months, and the scale and tight jeans are showing it.
sigh.

I miss my pre-perimenopause metabolism.

And these are the biggest sized jeans I own…and I can’t say I was quite comfortable in them by the end of the night.
You know….after I was done enjoying more food.

But, I’m in the baby step stages of cooking and changing the way we eat as a family.
We’re trying not to eat out (much), and attempting to give up sugar and processed food 80-90% of the time.

Do you need a minute?

I know…
I just admitted some gibberish about giving up SUGAR.
And I may have just said I’m in the early stages of learning to cook.

But don’t get all excited.

Cooking still makes me quiver in fear, and I kid you not when I say tears come to my eyes when I look over recipes and consider meal plans.

In fact, to be COMPLETELY honest….
I had a good cry (sob) over it all today.
A small part of the tears may have been contributed to my increasingly soft body parts,
but the bulk of my tears were because I know I NEED to cook and yet I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!

So.
Baby Steps.

But, NEXT Monday, I am so all in.

Monday.
Everything good starts on a Monday.

Right?

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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sometimes loss teaches a lesson…

Today I’m over at Dead Dads Club (The Mama Mary Show‘s sister website) sharing about what losing my dad at such a young age taught me about love and life.
I hope you’ll take a moment to click over and hear a little part of my journey.
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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what nobody told me about my 20’s….


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           Recently, I did a guest post on my friend Juliana’s blog for her 20 something series.


In case you missed it, here’s the post for you to catch up on.

What No One Told Me About My 20’s, and if they had, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have listened….

I was one of those girls waaaaaay back in my teens and 20’s who could never be told anything.
I didn’t want or need advice because I had it ALL figured out.
I knew better.
I saw things more clearly.
I had life by the reigns and I was in control.
{oh how i wish i had that now in my 30’s, cause now i’ll take ANYONES help and advice!}

My first wake up call was about the age of 19.
I’d been a bit wild and reckless, both with guys and partying for a few years, you know…just going through the normal teenage rebellion type phase.

But one night at a party, when things started to get heated and emotional, I sat there watching it all unfold and all I could think was, “What has become of my life?  Who are these people, and are they even my friends?  Why am I even here being involved with stuff like this?”

I went home that New Years Eve night and wrote out all that I wanted to change in my life….and the next day I woke up and made a decision to walk away from that crowd and that way of life.
I got back involved with my church, and then a few months later decided to pack up and drive to California to start all over.
All by myself, not knowing a single person.

It sounded lovely and amazing.
Now in my mid 30’s, I think doing such a thing would send me into a panic attack.
But that’s the the thing about your 20’s.
You’re still kind of a child, but also starting to ease into adult life a little more.
For me at that age, it was about taking risks.
Being wild and free.

Loving hard, and feeling deeply.

It was all about having fun, really.
I just wanted to sleep, go dancing, hang out with my friends, meet hot boys, and have FUN!
I found an amazing church, incredible friends, and tried to find a balance between the world’s way of fun and my faith.
I was walking a thin line between the two, but I felt it was at least better then where I had been before.


It was all about me, all about fun.

But, when I lost my dad suddenly due to a fatal heart attack when I was 23, my whole life and perspective changed.
Life was not fun anymore….and I was confused, broken, lost and hurt.
Suddenly the guys I had been dating weren’t so fun and they definitely weren’t there for me when life really became real.
I realized I had been giving my heart to so many that weren’t worthy of having something so special.

Thankfully I had better taste in friends, and they were there to help me find my way.

And then I met Jimmy.

We had met briefly before my dad died, but it wasn’t until after that our friendship really grew into something deeper and more meaningful.
He was there for me, not asking for anything, not needing anything, not playing games, not being anything but loving and comforting and a real true friend.

Without intention, I found myself beginning to pull away from the guys I had been “dating” and found myself instead wanting to spend more and more time with Jimmy.
And within a few months, we found ourselves madly in love, ready to take it from friendship to engaged.
{yes.  we moved fast.  i wouldn’t recommend it really.  for those of you in your 20’s….}

I share all of this to bring you to THE moment in my 20’s where I had one of my greatest wake up calls.
You see, Jimmy had been a “good” boy.
Never had he partied, and never had he been drunk.
But, the biggest thing was that he had saved himself for the woman he was going to marry.

And to me that meant everything.

It made me love and respect him even more.
It also made me dread having to tell him the full truth about my past….
because it most definitely wasn’t squeaky clean.
You see, my philosophy had always been to just have fun now and make better choices later when I was “grown up.”
I had only ever really thought about myself.


I hadn’t thought about the day that all that fun could potentially really hurt someone else.

But the day that Jimmy and I finally had the talk about my past, and I had to be truthful, it was one of the hardest moments of my life.

Seeing the hurt on his face, and the tears in eyes, literally broke my heart…
because all my fun and all my selfishness was now breaking his.
It took months….maybe even a year for us to heal and recover and without a whole lot of prayers and God’s healing touch, I’m not sure we would have made it.

But it was in THAT moment that I realized and knew….this life God had given me?

It was SO not about me.

My choices were not just going to affect me….they had and would and would continue to affect everyone in my life that loved and cared for me.

It was THAT moment that was a life changer for me.

Every day from that point on I made every effort to fully give over my life to the Lord, and let go of all the selfish ways I’d been holding onto for “fun.”  
My way was hurting others, and I knew God’s way was so much better.

I realized it all comes down to choices.

Unfortunately, sometimes it takes walking a very hard and painful road to learn the greatest lessons….
and that day in my 20’s I learned.

It has most definitely changed the course of my life.
I still have fun.
I still love to dance.
I still love to take risks (except with food, my hair, and moving)….but now?
I take a moment to pray and to think beyond me.


I lay it all down before the Lord….and I allow HIM to take the wheel.
{if this was a musical, Carrie Underwood would now come out and sing “Jesus Take the Wheel.”  But, sadly, it’s not.  It’s just a blog post.  No singing here.  But you’re humming it now, aren’t you?}

And let me tell you.
It is so freeing.
So fun.
And nobody gets hurt that way.
And that, you guys, is the thing I wish I could tell everyone in their teens and 20’s.
{and MAKE them obey me!!!!}


Just think beyond yourself.

If you do this now, you’ll save yourself and so many others a world of hurt.
Or don’t obey….and learn for yourself the hard way.
But don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!
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what i wore on the mommalogues

And once again, what I was wearing on the SheKnows Mommalogues
Wanna see the videos?  Click the title link OR check out the Mommalogues widget on the right side column.
Have questions about something you see that I didn’t mention, just leave a comment and I’ll get RIGHT back to you!!!
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If this question had been asked a month ago, I could have easily answered that we ate out at least three times a week.  Most of the time, maybe even more. It’s just that I can’t cook (hate to cook is more like it), and with our weeknights being so busy, grabbing dinner was just so convenient. But then I read a book about how skinny chicks eat real food, and I since that sounded great to me, I jumped on the bandwagon. And then I learned that I had to stop eating out.  And cook. And so we’re taking baby steps….cutting back to twice a week, and keeping it to healthy choices.  At least right now…ask me again in a few months.
what i’m wearing…
jacket: forever 21, found at salvation army
headband: h&m
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I can’t say that I feel judged by other moms.  But who knows, maybe I am….and I’m just too busy to notice because I’m too consumed with judging myself.  I’m definitely my own worst critic. I guess when it comes to moms judging other moms, I just think, really???  Shouldn’t that be the last thing we as moms should be doing? I mean, our kids do enough to humble us, that we should be joining together to build each other back up!
what i’m wearing….
top: old navy on super clearance for $3
nail polish: loreal club prive
lipstick: revlon super lustrous in kiss
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The main reason behind buying our teeny tiny house was the lure of all the land that came with it.  The first year we were here, I literally had to push my kids outside and tell them to go play, do you know how much this land costs???  Okay, so maybe I didn’t say it quite like that, but I was determined to find a way to get them to play and have fun while doing it!  Another year later, add in a dog and a trampoline, and now my kids are thoroughly entertained being outside.  It’s kind of amazing.
what they’re wearing….
taylors helmet: target
chloes top: tj maxx 
chloes boots and jeans: old navy
~~~~~~~
I was definitely bullied in Jr and Sr High.  I mean, isn’t that a part of school? For whatever reason, the mean girls liked to threaten that they were going to beat me up….and to this day, I’m not even sure what that was all about.  It’s not like I was out stealing boyfriends or anything.  (I really wasn’t!!!) And while at the time, it caused me to be completely insecure and afraid….looking back my heart actually hurts for those girls because I realize how wounded they must have been to be so cruel. Not that it excuses what happened, but it definitely puts it into perspective for me, and helps me to forgive them.
what i’m wearing…
tunic: h&m found at salvation army
necklace: vintage from jimmys grandma
~~~~~~~
Have a great weekend you guys!!!
I’m FINALLY getting my hair done, and I am SO excited.
It’s the little {expensive} things.
xoxo
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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i have a daughter

I read this poem in a book called Sticky Faith (incredible book, btw.  a must read for parents!), and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.
Naturally, I had to share it with you.
~~~~~~~

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Daughter 17
~
I have a daughter 17
When she lies to me….I love her.
When she disappoints me….I love her.
When she doesn’t live up to my expectations….I love her.
When she reflects poorly on my name….I love her.
“Now I can understand how when she pleases you and obeys
you…and fulfills you…,” you say.
But that’s not what I’m talking about.
It’s when she does none of these things…I love her.
AND for a very simple reason.
I’m her father….and she’s my child.
~~~~~~~
Now I want you to imagine that God is speaking these exact words to you.
Because He is your Father.
You are His child.
And you are so loved.
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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peace in anxiety

i was almost there.

or so I hoped.
so much time had passed, and I felt my strength begin to grow.
confidence and joy filled my heart.

i wondered if possibly it was over???
i enjoyed the silence.
i embraced each and every moment of my life.
i found my laughter.
i flashed my smile.

and then there it arrived this morning….
in the moment I allowed my eyes to slowly rise open, I felt there was a difference.
and it was a cold feeling.
my mouth felt dry and my body felt weak.
my hands trembled, and my thoughts raced.

and i was once again humbled.
i opened my devotion and read of His strength.
i listened to songs of worship and was reminded of His promises.
i knelt and i prayed, and i wept and reached out.
and even though it felt intense and scary, i had a certain peace that hadn’t existed before.
and though my heart was still racing, and the tears were still spilling…
i felt comfort.
comfort in His words.
comfort in His love.
comfort in knowing that He is BIGGER than any single moment.
He is more powerful than any anxiety or problem we face.

and then one by one, He sent my angels to my door to show me that i am not alone.
there they were, the ones who get me.
the ones He sent without me even looking….
and i felt peace.
the anxiety is still there…a little.
i’m tired.
and worn down.
but my heart is alive.
my soul is joyful.
because in these moments, He shows up.
in these moments, He teaches me one more lesson.
it may never be over for me.
this may always be my struggle.
but in my weakness, HE IS STRONG.
and He is proving that to me, time and time again.
i trust His plan.

in His plan,
i have learned to love better and deeper.
i’m more honest and real and open.
i’m less afraid.
i’m more accepting and forgiving.
I just wouldn’t be me, the me He created me to be, if it weren’t for this struggle.
He knows what He’s doing…
i believe that, because i see His beauty and His promises when i look into the eyes of those blessed friends He’s given me.
and when i look at the sunset that captures my breath.
and when i hear my children’s pure and happy sounds of laughter.
and in all the ways He shows His capability and strength…

i see.

i suffer.

i love.

i believe.

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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my holy grail skin care product

I’ve been kind of silent round these parts when it comes to sharing about this product.
Mostly it’s because I REALLY wanted to give it the test of time to make SURE that it really did work!!!
So far it’s been amazing so I finally decided to make a video filling you in on ALL the details!

Got questions?
Ask away!
Wanna try it?
Click on this NeriumAd link!
Need to see my before and afters first?
Check those out here!

What’s YOUR holy grail product?

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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