if i could turn back time and tell my teenage self….

teenage

If I could turn back time….

I was such a teenager enveloped in angst.
My heart hurt because I longed for something more.
For something deeper.
For more meaning.
But, I fell alongside the crowd.
I wanted in, I wanted acceptance.
But the desire to be me fought with the need to fit in.

And when I look back, and I see the replay of my life, I cringe.

I wish I could have done it differently.
I wish I could go back and see things with the eyes and heart I have today.
I wish I would have had someone who could have spoken wisdom into my world.
Someone who truly loved me unconditionally, and could understood the fight within my soul and mind.

And so I wanted to write this.
Because out there, there is a teenager just like me.

A girl battling her desire to be in yet wants to dare to be herself.
{click link to see what i was like in high school}

graduationspeaking

If I could turn back time and tell my teenage self some things….here are just a few of the things I would say:

  • The decisions you are making right now may seem fun and harmless, but there are consequences that come along with them that will stay with you your whole life.  Think and act wisely.
  • That guy that seems worth it, isn’t.  And your future husband one day will agree.
  • That drink, that hit, that fun high?  It’s ruining your still developing brain.  You have no idea the poison you are filling your body with.  Go look at the homeless people downtown, go visit the rehab centers that are filled with people who have stopped having “fun”…and see a bunch of grown adults who once were teenagers doing the same thing.  Only they never stopped.  But, I bet at one point they totally thought they could.
  • That friend that talks about you and makes fun of you to other people, isn’t your friend.  At least right now, she isn’t.  But know, she is hurting too.  She has her own inner struggles you may never know about it.  Walk away.  But never stop praying for her.  Only from our prayers come miracles.
  • The party you didn’t get invited to?  I promise, you won’t remember in ten years.  And it’s better you weren’t there anyway.  Trust me.
  • Your parents that annoy you and seem to want to make your life even harder and more miserable than it already is?  They are also dealing with things you may never know about or understand, until you are an adult with your own kids.  But know, they are just like you.  They may be hurting and lost and they are likely hoping to do better than their parents, and praying you will one day be better than them.  Try to go easy on them.  Being a parent is just as hard and scary as being a teenager.
  • Once you graduate and especially after college….nobody will care if you were popular or a jock or a nerd in high school.  And the ones who do, aren’t the ones you want to spend your time with or on anyway.  But, keep praying for them too.
  • Choose your friends wisely and stick close by them.  They are the ones who will keep you safe, who will hold you to your values, and will remain your bestest friends throughout the rest of your life.  But know, even good friends make mistakes.  Practice forgiveness and mercy now, it’ll come easier when you’re grown.
  • Enjoy being a teenager.  Don’t try to grow up faster than you should.  One day when you’re older with BIGGER problems, you’ll wish you had slowed down and enjoyed moments while you had the chance.  {something i STILL need to learn.}
  • Be true to what you believe.  Stand up for what is right.  Say what nobody else will.  SOMEONE will be thankful you did.  You may never know, or know for a long time, but it will change a heart or even a life.  Quite possibly even yours.
  • Go to church.  Even if you don’t feel worthy of being there.  Don’t believe that lie, because you are worthy.  God DOES love you.  He has never looked away or been angry.  He hurts when you hurt.  He wants you to come to Him anyway.  And NOTHING you’ve done or could do will ever change that.
  • You are worthy of love.  Of acceptance.  You are not too fat, or too loud, or too quiet, or too smart, or too emotional.  You are you, the YOU God spent HIS time creating.  He put His hand on your life, gave you breath, and allowed you a place in this world because he thought you worthy.  He has a plan.  Trust that when you can’t trust anything else.
  • Because you are worthy….prove it.  Make a difference.  Be the change, the friend, the christian you want to see in others.
  • Feelings aren’t truth.  They are feelings.  And most of the time they WILL pass or change.  Cling instead to what you know is TRUTH.  And the only way to know the truth is to study God’s word.
  • Stop comparing the INSIDE of your heart and life to the OUTSIDE of everyone else’s.  You have NO idea what their insides are really like.
  • And lastly, but not most importantly….one day, all the people you know or see or are or aren’t friends with now….you will have on your friends list on whatever the future of Facebook will be.  And when that happens, everything in the past will seem so silly and petty, and you’ll learn to love them all because of the adults and the struggles and the life you see them living now.

    tiasgraduation

    And as I reflect over these lessons (and the others not listed) my heart is stirring….because I realize it applies not just to high school….but to even where I am right now.Huh.Would you look at that?

    Even beyond high school, you continue to learn.

    © 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”

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Comments

  1. Very true words! Words that are as applicable to the teenage us and the adult us.

    Loved that short hair – how cute.

  2. excellent reminders for us and powerful words for a teen that needs to hear it! <3 you, summer!

  3. excellent reminders for us and powerful words for a teen that needs to hear it! <3 you, summer!

  4. excellent reminders for us and powerful words for a teen that needs to hear it! <3 you, summer!

  5. Deep.

    We could have hung out.

  6. Hi Summer,

    Love this post. Very inspiring words that are SO true! If only we could go back in time…

    Love your blog : )

    Danielle xo

  7. <3

  8. Have you ever thought about writing a book? Because this could be the book. Wow, your words are so powerful and I have no doubt ring true for so many of us gals… our younger selves AND ourselves right now.
    xoxo J

  9. You are SO right…. except I was the opposite; the Christian girl who NEVER felt like I fit in, sort of by my own choice I guess. I never went to a party and always saw myself as the biggest dork in school and as it turns out, nobody else saw me that way, as I found out 20 years later on facebook. :) If I had known I never would have let it make me so miserable at the time. Life is SOOOOOO much better 20 years later.

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