Archives for February 2012

where anxiety is, the mind follows.

There’s this thing about anxiety.
It creates fear when there is no obvious reason to be afraid.

It’s like hearing a scary noise that nobody else can hear but you.
And it makes your heart beat a little faster, and your palms get a little sweaty….
and if you’re me….
it makes you have to poop.

but then again, what doesn’t make me have to poop???
{among the list: spending too much money, flying, stress, the morning, caffeine, sugar….in case you wondered}


Another thing about MY kind of anxiety….is that when it happens, I tend to go immediately to my worst case scenario.

Which is…..

Are you ready for this???

Becoming homeless.

And crazy.


And of course, it’s all because “I once had anxiety…”
and I am convinced that’s how homelessness and crazy begins.

With anxiety.


And then not only would I be lost in a state of anxiety, but where would I poop???


And because I have this fear….I kind of have a hard time refraining from asking any crazed homeless person I come across if it all started with anxiety for them.
Cause you know, I come across them often.
Which I don’t.

Because I’m prone to anxiety.

Once, us youth group leaders were asked to take our individual group of girls out on a service night.  You know, to serve other people.

And one of my best friends and I decided to team up our girls and make a plan.
Somewhere in the planning, feeding the homeless came up.
Perhaps by me?

{it’s just that my heart aches for those poor people, for which i mostly relate to because I TOO have anxiety.  you know, where it all began for them.  i get them.}

But as soon as it was suggested, I immediately suggested something else.

“It’s just that…..I can’t really be around the homeless right now.  I can’t even go downtown to visit Jimmy at work anymore…” I tried to explain.

“And why is this?” she cautiously asked.

And then I decided it was time someone OTHER than Jimmy hear my constant irrational thoughts and fears.

She was about to go from being just a friend, to now becoming one of my “inner circle.”
{where you are all about to be as well….because i’m about to go full disclosure here.}

“Because I am convinced they are all there because they once had anxiety and it drove them to insanity and now they are on the streets.  Homeless.  And crazy.  And talking to themselves.  With the need to poop and nowhere to go but their pants.  And I know when I see them, I will be forced to ask them to tell me the truth, and they will….they will tell me about the day the anxiety switched to crazy.  And there just isn’t enough medicine in the world for me to handle that kind of truth.”

There.
It was finally out there.

And then….she laughed.

Which made me laugh….
Because when people laugh at me, I’ve learned to laugh along.
It’s less awkward that way.

“Summer.”  She began.
“THAT will never happen.  First of all they did NOT start out with anxiety.  And if they did, it probably then lead them to drugs and alcohol before the REAL crazy kicked in.  And also?  They probably didn’t have a support system in place to get them help, and YOU DO.”

“But, what if Jimmy can’t handle me anymore and he leaves me, and then I really lose it?”  I retorted.  Because you see, my anxiety already has this all worked out.

She continued….
“IF that were to happen, you can always come and live with me.  I promise, you will always be cared for.  You WILL NOT end up on the streets homeless and crazy.”

And while Jimmy has told me that over and over again, hearing it from her suddenly caused my heart to soften.

I still wasn’t convinced that anxiety wouldn’t lead to crazy, but I was starting to feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I’d at least be a crazy with a place to live.

“Okay.”  I responded slowly.
“It’s a deal.  But to make it up to you, I will allow you to bring me out at parties as your entertainment.  Teach me to do things or tricks that make them laugh, and then somehow I’ll feel like I’m making it up to you.”

“Deal.”  She said.

And that night?
I slept a little better.
And the next day?
I felt a little lighter!

Then a few months later when I finally decided to tell my counselor about this anxiety homeless fear….she began with the same comforting words….
“But you have a support system in place, that will never happen.”

And I was actually able to respond WITH CONFIDENCE,
“Oh yes, I know.  My friend Leah has already promised me a room in her house.”

And that you guys, is why we need to be honest with each other about our thoughts and fears….
because when the comfort of our husbands words aren’t quite enough,
the promise of crazy care from a friend sometimes is.

Sometimes a girlfriend gets you in a way nobody else can.

And this way, on the chance anxiety one day DOES lead to crazy….
You can be rest assured, you will always have a place to call home.

And more importantly, you’ll always have a place to poop.

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”

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it’s what i wore out: colored pants

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what i’m wearing:
dress/tunic: tag says “scarlett,” tj maxx
pants: tag says “cleveland new york street,” found at goodwill in colorado
wedges: dkny, loehmann’s
I have been DROOLING over colored jeans/leggings as of late, and when my sister pulled these most amazing pants out at Goodwill, I quickly begged for them to be mine.
They are so retro.
So 70’s/80’s and they are mine….alllllll mine.
You will definitely be seeing them often, styled many different ways….and most likely eventually paired with the infamous leather jacket.
It’s a pair that has to be.
I know they’re not for everyone….but what do you think about colored denim/pants/leggings?
~~~~~~~
So, this week I have a TON of stuff to giveaway.  
I’ve been so busy enjoying it all myself, that I’ve been a bit of a hoarder.
But, it’s finally time to share it all with you.
I’m still working at getting all the posts together, but I’m hoping that by the middle of the week, they’ll be all set up and ready to go.
We’re talking jewelry…
clothes, 
home decor, 
books,
and more.
You will want this stuff.
I wanted this stuff.
And after this week….in the next months….there will be MORE STUFF.
Because sometimes, I just like to be able to share with you all the things I’m obsessing over.
Soooooo excited.
Get your little commenting fingers ready….
xoxo
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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what i wore on the mommalogues this week

Oh man, there are just so many….I am actually quite talented at many things and I tend to keep most of it hidden so as to not intimidate people.  But, since the question was asked, I guess it’s time I share the one gift most people don’t know that I have. But, be warned, it might make it hard for you to ever meet me in person one day….just saying.

 

 

 

 

 

what i’m wearing:
dress: tag says Goodie, vintage, found at my local Salvation Army
red necklace: so old, I’m totally blanking on the store.
~~~~~~~
Our faith is a huge part of our lives, and I mean faith notreligion.  And because it is the basis of everything we do, I believe church is really important.  It’s a place to worship the Lord, learn more about the Bible and how it pertains to our lives, and find love, support, and friendship from other people who believe the in the same things.  And because this is important to both Jimmy and me, we have made the decision to bring the kids along as well.  But, to them it’s fun!  And here’s why….

 

 

 

 

 

what i’m wearing:
dress/tunic: f21 dress found at an L.A. thrift store
necklace: vintage, handed down from Jimmys grandma
~~~~~~~

I’m not a big fan of clutter, so saving anything is tough for me.  But, I do love holding onto memories and sentimental items, so as you can see…I get very conflicted.

However, I do hold onto most of the kids clothes, but mostly so I can give it all away.  And since some of my friends and family are still having babies, I’m urging them all to hurry up so I can get rid of all the boxes of clothes taking up room in our storage.

 

 

 

 

 

what i’m wearing:
sweater: no tag, found at an L.A. thrift store
necklace: goodwill in Colorado
~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until I started filming this video that I realized this was a much tougher question to answer than I thought.  I mean, what does “hobby” REALLY mean anyway?

And while I’ll rattle off a few things that I think may fit the bill, really, I’m realizing that maybe I may need to get more of a life, perhaps.  Maybe Bingo?  Tennis?  Cheerleading?  Hip Hop?  Or I know, Zumba!!!Those, I think, may be considered more acceptable hobbies then what I have.  But, to each their own I guess.  Here’s what I believe my true outside the home hobby to be…

 

 

 

 

 

what i’m wearing:
blue tunic: chelsea studio, found at Goodwill on my Colorado trip
feather headband: lovejoylyn
~~~~~~~
Have a great weekend guys!
Get ready for a week of giveaways next week….something for EVERYONE…..you will die.  
Lit.Tra.Ly.
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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if i could dream a million dreams….

BIG DREAMS.
But these dreams compete with my love of being home and in elastic or drawstring waisted pants.
I LOVE being social, but I love being home alone without makeup again in drawstring or elastic waisted pants….and my husbands v-neck t-shirts.  
sans bra.
I hate bras.
And when you’re out being social, people expect you to wear a bra.
I want to be more in shape, but I have a slight need/addiction to sweets and carbs.
Or anything that has ingredients you can’t pronounce or could potentially cause cancer.
I want to be a better parent, but the little buggers keep me from getting a full dose of sleep that could possibly allow for that to happen.
possibly.
I want to write a book (ever since I was first invited to a Young Writers conference in 2nd grade, it’s been my PASSION)….but I’m intimidated to write more than a blog sized post.  
Plus, what do I have to offer that hasn’t already been put out there???
Also, I want to act.  
Or be on broadway.  
Hey, forget broadway, I’d even accept a guest role in a high school (or jr high/elementary) production.
*true story….once one of my high school girls from youth group accidentally sent a text to me actually intended for one of her friends, asking if I wanted to be in a play…and my heart skipped a beat.  my heart is still healing over that mistaken text.*
  
The problem with this dream…is that while I’m in my car/shower singing or “harmonizing” with worship while I’m safe in my seat at church, I have INCREDIBLE talent.  
The WEIRD thing is NOBODY else has yet to notice. =) 
So…..
Another dream.
To be a speaker.
To go to churches, youth group events, womens conferences, blog conferences, you name it….I want to speak at it.
This competes with my insecurity that I don’t have the wisdom yet (although I will say, I do have a TON of life experience), plus….what if nobody laughs at my humor???
{it HAS happened once or twice.}
Another dream…
That I would wake up bouncing out of bed.  But I love my bed.  And I hate bouncing.  
It makes me nauseous.
Also?  
I hate mornings.
But right now?
It’s late at night.  
Which is my happy clarity time.
And I am sitting on my bed.
Because I love my bed.
I’m in elastic waisted pajama pants.
Sans bra.
With a tummy full of carbs and a bloated belly to prove it.
And I’m humming (with perfect pitch) with American Idol.
And I am writing!
I may not BE on a platform sharing, but I have a platform to share….
I have this amazing place we have created, that God has absolutely blessed me with….where can all be in this together.
And in this moment, I am actually quite content and happy.
In this moment, could it be?
That I am possibly ALREADY living my dream?
{except for the mornings. in the mornings, i am NOT living my dream.  at least not until 10-11am when I can almost smile and maybe begin thinking about having complete thoughts.}
I may not always believe it, but when I really stop and take a hard look at what I been given…
what I have been blessed with….
I realize, this is the moment I am happy to be in.
And anything else, is icing on the cake.
{and i’m just saying, i REALLY love icing…so Jesus, feel free to BRING ON the icing!  Um.  you know, if it’s Your Will, of course.  amen.}
{and by the tone of this post….yes, PMS is over.  “all praise be to Jesus” my husband would say.  actually he wouldn’t.  at least not out loud cause he’s smarter than that.  sometimes.}
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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music that changes lives, you can be a part of it

I need to introduce you to an incredible bunch of guys….
They’re a band called Walking Water.
Here’s a little bio:

In 2008, Walking Water started a band with the goal of creating environments of musical worship, where people can meet God. Today in 2012, the founding members Channing Queja, Josh Queja, and Kyle Hildebrand continue with that same simple goal.
Whether that’s leading for their home church in San Diego, (Canyon Springs), leading for another church’s ministries / Sunday services, or leading worship for an orphanage in Port Au Prince, Haiti… that goal makes this band’s path clear.
There can be 5 or 5,000 people in attendance at the service, and the passion to worship God will be the same.
Musically their style is diverse, pulling from many different areas of influence, but dynamic changes and powerful choruses have become the most memorable signature of this band’s musical style.
This style of music is also conducive to a large array of corporate worship environments. When a powerful chorus drops out to hear the congregation sing, it’s difficult not to experience the Spirit of God in music.
While their style ranges, the purpose remains the same, connecting people to God. They have a blast doing it, and with this simple sustainable goal, they expect to be doing it for a long time to come.
~~~~~~~

Now here’s why I need you to know about them.

This band?

This is my church’s worship team….and not only are they incredible musicians but they have SUCH a heart for changing the world.

But not only do they have the heart for it, they actually put that passion to action.
Which is a lot more than you see these days.

It’s inspiring….Just take a moment to watch and see:
Okay.
So.
Kyle and the guys don’t know that I’m posting this (well they do now, HI!), but I just had it on my heart to share them with you guys….my friends, my support, this little here community.
And if you have it on your heart to help them out, awesome!
 And if all you can do now is promise to pray for their journey and mission, then that is just as amazing and appreciated.

God sometimes works in BIGGER and MIGHTIER ways through our prayers than our pocketbooks.
{although, hey, money is good too.}

For all they’ve done for me and for Haiti and for the many people’s lives and hearts they touch with their worship, I just needed to share.

{the following was taken from the website where they are working on this project, click the link below to be taken directly to their site to learn more.}


ABOUT THIS PROJECT

What an amazing trip this has been. Over a year ago, we set off to record a full length original Worship album, purely on our own budget. From day one God opened up opportunities for us! God has used people that believe in us and what we’re doing, to invest in us with their time and resources. We’ve recorded these songs in a multi million dollar studio with some of the best gear out there. It’s exciting to be a part of it and see how God uses us in this venture!

Because there has already been so much support from some awesome people on this record, we don’t need $20k to make this thing happen, we only need about $8k more to see this thing take off! 
All funds will go towards paying for final production costs of the album and promoting the project. In addition to standard radio/marketing/advertising costs in promoting this project, if we exceed the fundraising for production costs, we plan to send CJ down to Haiti this year with our home church, get the cases/equipment needed to better serve church groups and also give back to some of the people that donated their time on the project.
From the initial producer (Roger DaSilva) to the current and consistent Engineer / Mixer (Kevin Mankins), to all the Worship leaders and people that donated their time and talents to see God show up on this project. Here’s a list of just some!
Mike Clark and Dan Elliott of After Eden
Ishmael and Isaac Godkin of the Godkins
Ethan Paulson (lead Guitar)
Melissa Barrison (violins)

We wold love to partner with you in seeing this thing happen. Please support this project, we love getting to serve and use what we have to support others in their ministries. Thanks to all the people that have and continue to support what we do!
God bless!
-Walking Water
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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its what i wore out: give ’em something to talk about

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what i’m wearing:
leopard dress/tunic: f21, found at a random thrift store in L.A. a few weeks ago $7
black dress (wearing underneath the leopard dress): , salvation army $3
leather jacket: {you should know this by now, because I wear it all the time.  here, here, and here, and more places than that.} apple bottom jeans, platos closet, $12
leggings: tj maxx, $8
boots: f21, super vintage….and I’m sad because the heel is wearing down.  It may be time to find a replacement.  sadness.
flower ring: platos closet, $3
necklace: so old, I have NO idea where it’s from, but i can guarantee it was cheap.  of course.
purse: mossimo, found at a garage sale for $1

~~~~~~~

First of all, I just have to say that I love when Chloe sees what I’m wearing and then asks if she can wear it too.
Then she’ll say, “I need makeup too!”
And I tell her she’s beautiful without it….but really I swoon inside…
Because, secretly, I hope and pray she always thinks I look cool enough to want to copy me.

~~~~~~~

And because the Sunday before, people balked at the tiger leggings I wore…I decided the following week deserved some nice and loud leopard print.

What can I say, I’m a rebel.

I say (or sing), “Let’s give them something to talk about….”

Right?

~~~~~~~

In other news….

I’ve been kind of hooked on YouTube tutorials and makeup/skincare review channels.
Which in turn has caused me to feel like I NEED lots and lots of makeup and skincare.
Which in turn THEN caused me to spend hours at different drugstores (with chloe, cause she loves it too) this last weekend buying lots and lots of makeup and skincare.

And I accidentally just happened upon a few more videos which created another list…
which means tomorrow I have to go back for more.

These are the things we as stay at home moms look forward to.
Plus, it’s TOTALLY helping my PMS.
And right now, it’s all about survival.

In fact, maybe I’ll do a haul/review video of everything, because I think I found some winners!!!
Because since starting the Mommalogues, I haven’t filmed any of my OWN videos.
I think it’s time, I kind of miss my YouTube Channel.
{so, if you have any other ideas of videos you want me to do, let me know!}

Enough about me.
What were you guys up to this long holiday weekend?
Dish the dirt.

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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monday muse: young life

Hello all! I’m Nicole, it’s nice to meet you!

Summer has kindly offered for me to share a story with you on her blog. This lady, though I’ve never met her, is an inspiration to me and I’m so very flattered and honored that she’s let me share my words with you.

When I’m not sharing my words and stories with other people I write over at Blogging Bissy, my simple
little spot to share my love for Jesus, my life and my awkwardness. Not always in that order.

Here are my words for you today.

Eight years ago I was asked to help a family friend restart up a Young Life group at my alma mater.
At first I was shocked to hear that Young Life had dwindled away at my former high school, but I was
beyond flattered to be asked and jumped in, not knowing exactly what it took to become a leader of a
high school group.

Before our first club was going to happen there were weeks of work and planning to do. High school
sporting events to attend to talk to kids about coming to Young Life. Speaking with interested families in
the area to find a house to hold club at. Who would sing? Who would speak? Who would lead games?
Where would everyone park? There was so much to think about, and I was deep in planning mode when
suddenly our first club arrived.

I was, admittedly, a bit nervous.

What did I have to teach a bunch of high school girls?
Who was I to speak on how to love Jesus and who He was for these girls?

I’m gonna be real honest with you: I almost threw up before that first club. (Thankfully I didn’t!)

7:25 on a Monday night I walked into a house that I had spent the past several weeks at and there were
fifteen kids looking at me. I looked at my leader and shrugged at him while giving him my best “let’s-get-this-started-before-I-chicken-out” look.

It was amazing!

Fast forward a couple of weeks and our club of fifteen had grown to a club of almost forty kids. God was so great!

The original idea was for each leader to lead a small group after club had been going for a couple of
weeks. I went into that first small group with the mindset that I would just lead a Bible study. We would
read a passage from the Bible and then talk about it. Simple enough… but kind of boring for these
energetic girls.

I had a lot to learn.

We ended up talking about boys (duh), Jesus, school, homework and sports. We shared make-up tips
and laughed a lot. I decided to make my approach more of a noncommittal plan and just went for it. I
asked general questions and when I was met with blank stares I shared my stories. I shared my heart. I
made myself vulnerable to these girls and in time they shared back.

And then that magical moment came on a weekend trip away.

It was prayer time for the entire camp. Six different school clubs were there and the pastor asked us all
to close our eyes and those of us that wanted to give our hearts to Jesus please stand.

I snuck a peek. I had to! I’m nosy and I wanted to be prepared because I’m a crier.

One. Two. Three. Five. Nine of my girls stood up.

I still have goose bumps thinking about that moment – watching God work in His magical way.

These girls who originally met me with skepticism in their eyes and a hardness around their fragile little
hearts and let their guard down enough to let True Love in. The love of Jesus!

I still think about those girls and that weekend away. I think of the stories we shared and the loud
laughing. I think about their smiles and the bear hugs. I remember the tears of fear and the tears of joy.
I may have been the Young Life leader of those girls, but they taught me more than I could have ever
hoped to have taught them.

YL_malibu_2005(1)

I learned patience.
I learned that a smile can get you farther than your words.
I learned that sometimes a simple whisper of “I’m praying for you” can mean the world to someone.
I learned that my plan isn’t what is important – God’s plan is.
I learned that the power of Jesus’ compassion and grace can lead you to where you never thought you’d
go.
I learned pure, unconditional love.

I think of these girls daily. I remember their laughter and their spirit and I pray for their hearts and souls.
These girls touched me in a way nobody else will ever be able to, and I thank Jesus for them and our
time together.

YL_malibu_2005_1

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”

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PMS on a friday night

On an earlier post I published today (that Blogger screwed up and didn’t publish accurately), I wrote about why I wanted to come home from our short little trip to Florida:
It was amazing, but I was definitely ready to come home. 

Pms makes you miss your bed a little.  

It also makes you cry at least three times on the plane ride home…. I confess one those times may have been caused when telling Jimmy about the story behind the movie, The Vow. 
{it’s based on a true story!!!} 

His response?  
“Honey, what you’re feeling right now?  It’s only about 50% real….keep that in mind.” 

And then he laughed, pulled me close, and probably said a prayer that God would hurry up and make it 100% real soon.  

That’ll be a prayer he’ll be praying the rest of my life. 
Poor guy.”

Well, that happened on Thursday, when pms didn’t actually begin with a capital “P.”
Today though, it’s Friday.  
And it’s edging on the night….and now?
Now it’s officially PMS
All caps.
In bold.
And underlined.
You know the difference, right?
The difference is that “pms” is more of a “being emotionally moved to tears over the simple telling of a love story to the love of your life.”  
It’s tearing up for no good reason, and being sorta cute and sweet about it.
PMS….is when that sweetness I mentioned? 
 Oh, it’s gone.
And your husband changes his gentle laughter and encouraging words to, 
“Maybe I should I run to the store for you right now.  What can I get that will make you feel better?”
Which really means, “WOMAN, may I PLEASE leave, even for any length of time so that I may possibly be excused from your dramatic ways….I NEED SOME AIR!!!”
He doesn’t know I know, but oh, I know.  
I know stuff like this during PMS.
It is NOW that I am at my all time best at reading into things accurately.
Also?
When PMS occurs on a Friday night, it could potentially cause a girl to read too many well done and well written blogs, watch too many reality tv shows, and realize The Truth.
Which is….
 Everyone else out there is WAY HAPPIER AND WAY PRETTIER AND MUCH MORE WELL ADJUSTED….and those are the people getting all the things God is specifically withholding from her.
Of course, all this will then make her feel inadequate and cause emotional outbursts to her husband that contain far too many “ALWAYS” and “NEVER” statements.
And then the husband, who has yet to “run to the store,” will offer the only other words he knows that could potentially solve…well anything really.
“Well, is there anything you want to do tonight?  You know that I can do to get your mind off all this?”
Followed by a *wink wink.*
{because if he can’t get air, maybe he can get something???}
But then he’s immediately met with an intense glare.
From me.
{oh, btw, we are talking about me.  me = her.}
At that point PMS whimpers out to pms, and tears well up and I am finding myself apologizing and saying, “Don’t mind me.  I’ll be okay.  I’m sure it’s just me being bi-polar.  I should get that diagnosed.”
And as he’s walking out the door to finally run to the store (for what I don’t know, I never gave him a list), he says….
“Oh, honey.  I don’t think it’s bi-polar.  Let’s just wait a week and we’ll see how you’re feeling then.”
And with those wise words, he shuts the door.
And that, my friends, is PMS on a Friday night.
Or another way to put it….
Half our life.

© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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it’s what i wore on the mommalogues

Cheesy as it sounds, we met at a wedding….where he was with his recent ex (a new friend of mine), and I was with my current (at the time) boyfriend.  It was our first time meeting, but we knew of each other, and we were definitely not each others biggest fans.  But, God has a way of changing hearts, and when my dad passed away shortly after that, Jimmy was there for me in a way nobody else could be. And it was during all of that, that I realized he was exactly the kind of guy I wanted to marry. Just….not Him. Once again, God has a way of changing hearts….and it’s now ten happy years later. It’s actually way more juicy than that….Coming soon to a General Hospital storyline soon, I’m sure.

 

 

 

 

 

what i wore:
sequin silk shirt found at a thrift store in Colorado, also seen here on my day in L.A.
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Um, Yes
I was once told that one of the best reasons to have kids was to get them to do the chores you don’t want to do anymore.  (think that may have been a mother-in-law gem).  Anyway, I took it to heart, and immediately put my kids to work as soon as they were able.  It’s all under the guise that we’re teaching them “lessons about life.”
And Taylor is so excited about this, that he actuallyjumped on the opportunity to tell you all about our system. 
My favorite part is when he says, “I work all the time!!!!” 
Kid, welcome to my world.
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When I was a kid, I think I got “the talk” from a girl in 5th grade as we were walking home from school and happened upon a “wrapper” on the ground.  She knew what it was, I didn’t.  So she took the liberty of explaining it all….I was in shock for about a week or year after that. 
And because I don’t want my kids hearing it the way I did from the kids at school, I think we’ll make sure we have the talk before 5th grade. 
And the way we work, I have a feeling we’ll both be involved in that conversation.
what i wore:
pink chevron print oversized t shirt, Old Navy on clearance for $4!
~~~~~~~
We’ve had lots of Valentines Days in all of our many years together, and I’d like to say they are all so incredibly special and memorable, that I can’t just choose one.  And while that is totally true, (actually, there may be a few I forgot), there are two that stand out the most.
One was before we had kids and it involved a weekend away watching a Cops Marathon called Love Hurts.  Yes.  You read that right.  We went away for a weekendto watch a Cops Marathon.  Very Memorable. 
There was also another very memorable one for him, the time I had mentioned that maybe we should do “no gifts.”  And then he took that literally.  Oops.
what i wore:
red jacket found at salvation army in san antonio, i think for around $5
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I hope you guys had an amazing week. 
I had such a good time relaxing in Orlando all while Jimmy was slaving away his days at his conference.
I laid in bed for HOURS until I felt awake enough to head down to the pool. 
And because I forgot sunscreen, I only had limited time in the direct sun….about enough for vitamin d and that’s about it. 
And then I headed back to my room, and back to my bed, where I pulled out my laptop and WROTE.  
I also read the entire book, Mockingjay. 
I miss Katniss, Peeta, and Gale already. sigh.  
It was amazing, but I was definitely ready to come home. 
PMS makes you miss your bed a little.  
It also makes you cry at least three times on the plane ride home…. I confess one those times may have been caused when telling Jimmy about the story behind the movie, The Vow. 
{it’s based on a true story!!!} 
His response?  
“Honey, what you’re feeling right now?  It’s only about 50% real….keep that in mind.” 
And then he laughed, pulled me close, and probably said a prayer that God would hurry up and make it 100% real soon.  
That’ll be a prayer he’ll be praying the rest of my life. 
Poor guy.  
Have a great weekend!!! 
© 2012 “Le Musings of Moi”
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this is the brain we’re raising…taylor talks

First of all, let me just THANK YOU for all the comments and emails you sent regarding yesterdays post.
I love it when I spill my heart, and there you all are….spilling yours too.
Community does take time….and we are getting there slowly and surely.
Thank you for helping us get there.

~~~~~~~
On another note, I’ve been wanting to share this text message Jimmy sent me about a conversation he had with Taylor a few weeks ago after Jiu Jitsu.  
It’s actually taken me that long to wrap my head around the fact that THIS is the brain God has trusted us to raise.
P1020443
{written out just as it was sent.}

“Taylor is sharp, so smart that it is shocking.  He started talking about how he doubts God is real again.  
I said, ‘Well, then how does it make sense that everything exists?’
And without hesitating he said, ‘Well think about this dad, the universe was always here.”
And I said, ‘But that doesn’t make sense, someone had to create it.’
And again without hesitating he said, ‘Well then it doesn’t make sense to say God was always here either, if you say God was always here, then I say the universe was just always here and there isn’t a God.  It’s the same thing.'”
next text….
“We kept talking about this and I asked him what it was in particular that made him doubt, and he said, ‘Because I don’t see God.’
And I said, ‘You don’t see the wind.’
And again without hesitating he said, ‘Ya, but you see what the wind does.’
And I said, ‘Exactly, just like God, you see what He does.’
Then he smiled, he liked that.
Isn’t that amazing how smart he is at 6?”
~~~~~~~
I know, right?!?
Now that I think about it, I think God has entrusted more so JIMMY to raise his brain, because the Lord knows if that had come up with me, it would have gone a little more like this….
“Honey…that’s sweet.  But, just have FAITH and BELIEVE.  Now do you want to watch Friends and Hero’s of the Bible and learn more about David and Goliath?”
And apparently that wouldn’t have solved anything for him.
I guess what works for me doesn’t work for everyone.
But, I am so thankful that Taylor is asking those questions now...
and especially that he’s asking Jimmy, who apparently had those same questions at the age of 6. 
And somehow my incredible husband just knows how to make sense of it all.
He is able to do the same with me.
Because sometimes having FAITH and BELIEVING needs a little more to back it up.
As I am learning that lesson right along with Taylor.

I may have always grown up a “christian” but I certainly never dared to question it all.
And for so long, I didn’t know WHY I believed it….
I just….did.
I inherited it from my parents….which wasn’t enough to get me through.

And that’s why I love that Taylor questions it.
Because I am confident he will find his OWN faith much sooner than I did.
And he won’t believe simply because it’s just what his mom and dad told him to…
It’ll be because God has made it known to him in a way he could understand at the time he needed to make it his own.
And now even more so, each one of us is growing and learning, because of HIM.
You guys, THAT is the brain we are raising.
And he’s only 6.
We still have many many years ahead of us, and many more tough questions to come.
Hold me now.
Because Jimmy has a long road ahead of him, while I’m busy praying us through.
© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”
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It means so much that you are here! I know life gets busy though, so if you don't want to miss a thing, I invite you to subscribe to my blog through email!