I have it.
And it’s real.
Let me just tell you.
And THAT is why I only have two kids.
It’s the syndrome that makes you feel “good enough” or “close enough” but never that ENOUGH that you so desire to feel.
It’s the syndrome that makes you compare yourself….because most of your life you’ve always been compared.
To the older ones or the younger one…
and you’re almost…
but not quite.
Though in your tender heart, you hear, “Not enough.”
It’s the syndrome that makes you a fragile flower, or sensitive, because you feel lost in the crowd…
and nobody quite gets you.
It’s the syndrome that prompts you to start a blog so that maybe someone will notice you….
and perhaps that someone else just might get you as well.
And it’s the syndrome that makes you rethink your blog because nobody is noticing or commenting and then you’re back to the whole comparing and “maybe I’m just good enough but not great enough” complex that started the whole thing in the first place.
Thankfully though….while I have that syndrome at times….I also have Jesus.
Jesus who reminds me that I am His.
And HE thinks I’m kind of amazing.
JUST as amazing as any one of his many many amazing children.
And when I draw myself to Him in the midst of my syndrome…
He guides me out and into His arms where I can rest and be soothed and reminded,
once again,
of what is true.
That it’s not quantity, it’s quality.
It’s not fortune or fame or the need to be noticed and admired, it’s what I did for Him, in His name.
It’s how I used my story, my challenges, my syndromes….
to change hearts and lives.
It’s the middle child syndrome that makes me think deeply, love madly, feel intensely.
And I realize it’s the way He made me to be.
But not so that I can feel bad, or lost, or just “good enough”…
it’s so that I would be motivated, and inspired…
to be more and live more for Him.
What is your syndrome?
Have you ever wondered why God has allowed it and what greater purpose it may serve?
© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”
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I’m not a middle child, I’m the oldest – but my complex pretty much sounds like yours. And yeah, I’m constantly wondering what God’s plan is.
Oh wow, Summer! I get that, but with my own syndrome. Mine is insecurity….BIG TIME!! I focus on all the “if only I looked like her” or, like you “am I good enough” but in my case it’s “am I good enough looking”. I also worry about the “innapropriate” things on tv, or nudity and so on. I can’t even go to the Hard Rock Hotel pool in Vegas with my husband without feeling like I’m sufficating to death with uncomfortableness!!!! So we leave. I sometimes just can’t have fun cause I’m too insecure to have fun cause I’m always worried about other chicks! That’s when I try and remember to hand over my insecurities to Jesus and ask him to help me. In fact, yesterday my thoughts were hijacking my brain and I asked Jesus to help me and to ease the pain in my heart. HE did!! It helped tremendously too! We need to remember to ask God for help and know he’s in control!!
Thank you for this, Summer!! I needed it :o) *hugs*
thanks for sharing your heart, friend. i love when our struggles force us to look at the cross and at Christ. as difficult as the struggle is, the end result when focused on Christ is beautiful. 🙂
thanks for sharing your heart, friend. i love when our struggles force us to look at the cross and at Christ. as difficult as the struggle is, the end result when focused on Christ is beautiful. 🙂
thanks for sharing your heart, friend. i love when our struggles force us to look at the cross and at Christ. as difficult as the struggle is, the end result when focused on Christ is beautiful. 🙂
Oh, my dear, we are too much alike! (Well, not so much in the middle syndrome thing- I had one sister, who was seven years younger, which is exactly why I have four kids close in age. So funny how that happens!), but I’ve had the lonely, overlooked syndrome. I am so, so thankful for Jesus’ love. Seriously, I think about how difficult life is and there is no possible way I would survive without Him.