the mood cure update

The Mood Cure
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down and started this “update” on my experience with The Mood Cure supplements….
And then how many times I’ve been like, ahhhh….this is BORING, who would even care???
But then I started getting a bunch of emails checkin in to see how it’s going, and I realized I just gotta bite the bullet and get ‘er done.
So, here I am, gettin’ ‘er done.
Okay, here’s the deal…I seem to be on a path.  
Aren’t I always???
It all started with searching for a new multi-vitamin, which led me to the True Balance ones, which led me to The Mood Cure book, which led me to thinking I wanted to give up Lexapro and instead try treating my anxiety with natural diet and supplements…
{there’s more…}
…WHICH led me to a longer than I realized process of weaning off the Lexapro…which led me to some not so fun withdrawals (physical & emotional), which led me to research what the heck kind of drug was I on to make me feel so awful going off….which led me to more research, more books, and more reading of other peoples experiences….
Which leads me to now.
Still on a path.
Okay, so here’s the thing.  After I read the book and got all my supplements and vitamins, I started taking them daily while I was weaning off my medicine.  And while the withdrawals were awful (brain “shocks,” lotsa tears), I can’t imagine what they would have been had I not been taking the supplements at the same time.  
Or maybe things would have been the same, who knows for sure.
And THAT’S the thought that made me decide to stop the supplements as well last week, instead only taking my daily vitamins, just to see if I noticed any difference.
{I had been taking the supplements just about a month when I stopped, and had been off the Lexapro for almost 3 weeks.}
And then, not two or three days later I felt the oh so familiar (and unwelcome) feeling of anxiety.
{granted we had some may-jah extended family issues come up WHILE I was watching two of my friends kids for two days PLUS my own, AND had a toilet overflow with poo & pee…
ALL at the same time….so…just sayin…}
{and no, it wasn’t MY poo & pee, btw}
I then promptly took two 5-htp’s (the amino for depression & anxiety) and took myself to a quiet place to pray and breathe. 
Crisis adverted.
Two hours later, the edge was gone, and I was able to float off peacefully to sleep.
Now here’s the thing…and the reason why I’ve been hesitant to write about my thoughts and experience. 
I can’t say for sure where the anxiety I had came from.
Was it part of the withdrawals from Lexapro (which is a common withdrawal for people), or was it due to the high amounts of stress we have going on in our life right now?
And was it really anxiety or was it just emotions that I’m not used to experiencing because I’ve been on medicine for 3.5 years?
And then I wonder if the 5-htp really worked or if it was simply a placebo effect?  
Or maybe it was my new found coping skills?
Or maybe, actually, it was God.
{imagine that.}
You see now why this post has been so hard to write?
At this point in my journey…My hope is to continue to do my best to stay off drugs, and continue to learn about all the other natural options and peoples experience with them. 
My plan for now?
I’m going to stay on 5-htp for the next few months, also taking GABA during high stress times, and just see what happens.
MAYBE even…I don’t even have an anxiety disorder, and what I felt back when I started Lexapro was anxiety, but the expected kind, being that I had just watched my grandpa die all the while having a very strong willed 2 year old at the same time.
Or maybe it is an anxiety disorder….and it took until my late 20’s/early 30’s to develop.
I have so many question marks and maybes…and that’s why I’m reading and praying and waiting.
And that’s where the post the other day came from.
God is surely teaching me something.
I realize that sometimes life is hard, sometimes God allows the uncomfortable, for a REASON. 
And while reaching for a pill to fix it seems the best option at times, what I really desire is to learn the lessons I have to learn. 
All I pray is that I am able to hear HIS voice clearly and then be equipped to do exactly what it is HE wants for my life.
Maybe it’s to take a pill again one day.
Who knows?
Actually only HE does…
which is why I’m tapping into my praying powers a lot more these days….
{could this post BE any longer???}
So, I’ll continue to keep you guys updated, but it may not be weekly…
as you can see it’s much more involved than I realized it would be.
{just another lesson in patience I suppose!}
And if you’re on this journey with me…
here’s some recommended reading:
In the meantime….I’d love to know…
what’s your experience been with moods/anxiety/depression?
What have you learned on your journey?
{use the comments people, use the comments.}

{my “mom” sent me this song this morning, had to add to the post!}

And now that THAT’S outta the way…
tomorrow we’ll keep it light and fresh and happy.
fashion anyone?

© 2011 “Le Musings of Moi”
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  1. Thank you!!
    I deal with some anxiety and OCD as you know, and I sometimes have to take some Valerian root supplements. So far they can take a bit of the edge off…. and I just lost my gpa within the past few weeks. I’d love to stick with natural, and also beat the anxiety. Thank you for the honesty, a lot of people deal with things like this and you are helping others!

  2. When I was 18 my sister started seeing a doctor about her bipolar disorder. I happened to come up in the convo and they talked me into thinking I had an anxiety disorder. They put me on at least 5 different medications and it wasn’t until I wound up in the ER, because my body couldn’t handle medication like that(even on the lowest dose). But the Doctor came in (a nice yummy one too!) but he told me there wasn’t a magic pill to fix everything. So, I looked to God, and came up with God thinks I am strong enough. If he thinks I can handle it then I want to prove him right! I started working out and that helped tremendously! Not saying working out will work for everyone, it just worked for me! You are a strong woman! Ok…that went alittle long and deeper than I wanted. Hope this helped. Hope all works out for you!

  3. I weaned myself off Effexor about a year or so ago – and it was pure hell (just like you described & I wasn’t taking any supplements). Despite the stress and anxiety going on in my life right now – I will never go back to those kinds of drugs. They have their uses and can really help people – but I didn’t need to be on them for 5 years and looking back I really have to question why they were given to me in the first place.

  4. My husband had severe anxiety for years. At first it was subtle and it went on for a while, but once it started affecting his daily life( he stopped being able to do things or go places that he had previously had a panic attack)- he at all times, kept xanax on his person. He wouldn’t take a daily medication. Refused. We had been to every type of dr b/c he “knew” he was dying. Cardiologists, neurologists, etc. I finally got him to talk to a psychologist b/c I thought the issues stemmed from his grandfathers illness and death( another long story). He finally started taking Zoloft, and after a while, he decided to start weaning off of it, to see how he would do. He is fine now. 2 and half years without a moment of panic. (Whew. That was long)

  5. Hey Summer,

    This was really interesting for me to read. I’ve struggled with feelings of depression for about 10 years now but they’ve gone undiagnosed because I couldn’t afford a therapist or someone to talk to, other than my general doctor. I have a lot of symptoms that are difficult for me to handle (I’m always tired, I oversleep and still feel exhausted, I have no energy to get through my day, I go through bouts of serious depression and crying jags etc. etc.) and I’ve been thinking about taking supplements (like L-Tryptophan and a daily vitamin and stuff) but first, I’m trying to get my diet and exercise sorted out. That’s part of why I started TAM. It’s only been two weeks and I’m not seeing huge changes from that but I also haven’t been consistent with eating as clean as I’d like and I think it’ll take a while longer to feel the benefits of the exercise. I might go for the L-Tryptophan anyway and see if it helps with my energy and depression problems, but I still have a lot of reading to do.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences, it helps to read them :)

    x Melissa

  6. Thanks Summer!
    It’s such a process trying to figure out and heal from depression and anxiety. My thyroid condition makes me feel like I’m on a roller coaster at times. I must say my yoga practice and recent addition of TAM exercising has really helped. The exercise has been taking some time to kick in but I’m starting to feel a bit better depending on the day. I’m going to stick to 5HTP and L-theanine and going to add either COQ10 or L-tyrosine next.

    Great to all be on this journey together. When I don’t want to budge I get onto the TA FB page and get some major encouragement from everyone. So appreciate you sharing your experience! It’s amazing how different it feels to not be alone with all of this!


  7. Frequent reader. Infrequent commenter. I too went on Lexapro after my grandpa passed away. Due to insurance issues I then got changed to citalopram. After some time I was thinking perhaps o didn’t need the medication anymore. I decided to wean off of it. I did slowly having major withdrawal and head zaps ( what you refer to as brain shocks). I stuck it out and although I still experience my agitated depression ( what my therapist called it) on occasion I am medication free and happy about it. You can do it and good luck to you!

  8. paxil…my love/hate relationship.
    xanax….my hard times helper.
    God… my Strength through it all.