After spending what seemed like forever searching and searching, I just knew I had found the one for me. It was love at first sight, and within just minutes of seeing her I knew. It was the only time I had ever experienced love at first sight.
She had it all, and I knew I would move heaven and earth for us to be together.
So with shaky hands and a beating heart, I exposed my love to her and prayed with all my might that she would return the feeling. That just maybe she too would see me worthy of spending a lifetime with her.
And so I just put it out there, and promised to wait for her response. As long as it’d take, I said I would wait.
And then came prayer.
I prayed.
And prayed.
But still, she was silent.
I set out to see her again, but found her with another…and I knew the more time that passed, the more others would have a chance to fall for her too.
It was happening right before my eyes.
And just as any lovesick girl would do, I began to question the process.
Had she found another? What was wrong with me? Would she eventually see that there was no one better than me???
A week went by when I got the call. My worst fear had come true, she had indeed found someone else. Someone else who had “more to offer,” and simply hearing that broke my heart. But what hurt more was hearing her say, “…but should things not work out, I promise my love, you can have another chance…you were almost right. Almost.”
How could she not allow me to fight for her? How could she not see that there was no one better suited for her than me?
And then I began to cry. And I pulled the covers up close and allowed the tears to flow for all the missed memories we could have had. For all the laughter and love that could have been shared.
I even began to feel slightly resentful towards the winner of her love, the one who had stolen my dream. Imagining the two of them growing old together and enjoying the life that could have been mine just didn’t seem fair.
I heard the advice, I understood what they all meant when they told me it was meant to be.
God had not allowed this because there was something better, something more right.
She was not God’s will.
You will understand why when you do find the right one.
You are better off without her.
You know how it goes, you know what they say.
But my heart was broken, my dreams were shattered, and all that mattered was that I had lost the one love of my life. In that moment, I couldn’t believe there another better than her.
I didn’t want to see the bright side. I didn’t want to thank God.
I just wanted to lay in bed with bad reality tv, pizza and breadsticks, and a carton of Ben & Jerry’s Smores Ice Cream.
And so I did.
But I would only allow myself 24 hours of complete pity, and then I promised myself I would mourn no more.
She had moved on, and it was time I did as well.
And that my friends, is what it feels like to fall in love with and put an offer on a house and then learn that someone else was willing to pay more for it…and you were never given a chance to counter offer.
Dramatic? Yes.
True? So very.
Goodbye little house. I will never forget what could have been.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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Oooohhhh, I so understand this! Hang in there, another love will come around.
YOUR home will come along…through patience hun! YOURS is still awaiting for you to find her. And you WILL find her 🙂
I have so been there! It’s the worst feeling! You picture your entire life laid out in this perfect house, and then… it isn’t yours.
The next one will be better though. Promise!
Awww … so sad!! As cliche as it sounds though, your house is out there waiting for YOU! You two will meet one day and will live happily ever after! :o)
okay…you had me confused but yes that is sad and heart breaking….but better things will come:) i know that’s not what you wanna hear…let’s eat some damn pizza….
Oh, I understand! House hunting is a horribly emotional, stressful experience. Making offers, not getting accepted, trying to find another “perfect” home…all I can say is that while I was so drained from the experience, I ended up wtih a home that’s more than I could have ever expected. Hang in there!
OMG! The title of your post scared me!! LOL. But I completely understand. I can only imagine what it felt like to have your dream home torn away =( Maybe this home had to come along to help you realize exactly what you were looking for so it could help you find the “real one”. Best of luck!!!! I truly hope you find it 😉
I know how it feels, Summer. We went through this too many times. But you know what? We finally found a place and it seems like it was all meant to be now! You will find a home. Hang in there!
Oh what a sad love story Summer! I hope you find your dream home once more and an even better one!
Oh I so just experienced this tragedy myself. And it hurt like hell….I don’t think this was a bit over the top in the drama department. But I promise you, love will find you again. And you will find “the one” and your world will never be the same.