Ya, so remember on Thursday when I was all, “tomorrow I’ll show you my bedroom?”
When I said “tomorrow” I really must have meant “someday in the future.” Because obviously I never got around to taking or posting bedroom pictures.
I need to work on that whole saying I’m going to do something and then not following through thing.
Seriously though. I’ve been making a lot of promises to a lot of people, including myself, without really thinking through it all. I tend to just want to please the masses, and then I realize when I’m covered in pending tasks, that maybe, just maybe I should have first made a promise to myself to pause and breathe.
Breathing can be kind of important too.
So, Friday morning my body decided to prove to me that point in the way of a panic attack. And ya know, those really aren’t good times.
But, it got my attention. And I listened. I stopped and I took a lot of deep breaths. And in the midst of the discomfort rather than hiding or burying myself in tasks, I got up and snuggled my babies on the couch and I just breathed them in.
It worked, and they calmed me.
Later I was even able to say no to a job, because while I needed the hours and pay, I needed my sanity and family more.
I let go of needing to be perfect for others. Of having to be the savior, of being all that everybody around me expected me to be.
For that moment anyway.
And the panic passed, and I felt proud. Proud that I had survived the pain, and proud for standing up to it rather than hiding from it.
Now that it’s Monday, and the tasks are once again piling up, I’m having to remember the lesson of Friday.
I can say no.
I need to hand what is too hard over to Him, and allow Him to do what He does best….bear the burden.
And then I can breathe.
© 2010 “Le Musings of Moi”
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Bottom line is we have to take care of ourselves right? We’re no good to anyone else if we aren’t good to us.
I HATE panic attacks… sometimes there is no getting me out of one either.
Take care of you lovely lady… all the rest falls into place. And I SO am one of those that are guilty of saying yes yes yes when really in my head I am thinking NO NO NO and it leads me to letting people down I think 🙁 I don’t like that feeling either.
<3
love you lady
Ugh, I’m so sorry Sweet lady. I had a bit of a panic attack on Friday as well. My first in a lonnng time. I don’t know what brought it on. Boyfriend and I were supposed to go hang out with some of his friends and as I was getting ready it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I asked him if he cared if I bailed because I was feeling weird & instead of going alone and seeing me later, he came and spent the evening making me laugh and washed the anxiety away. I hate that I felt that way, but it was nice to finally have someone who just wanted to make it better & be there for me.
Keep handing the stuff that’s too hard over to Him… because whether it sounds like it or not, that IS dealing with it. love you
Thank you for your honesty about anxiety, it’s been a constant struggle for me lately and it’s nice to hear (though I’d never wish it on anyone) that I’m not alone. Finding a calm place is important, so glad that you could hold your little ones dear and feel better. Hugs for you!
I always have a hard time saying no. I am just now realizing that it is better for me and everyone else that I take some time for ME. A very important lesson that is easy to loose sight of.
Sometimes it’s so hard to remember that we all need to take care of ourselves BEFORE we can take care of anyone or anything else. I hope you maintain your calm!