Archives for February 2010

fashion friday

February 19, 2010

{dress: A.B.S. ~ thrifted, purse: tj maxx, boots: charlotte russe, watch: la mer, bracelet: le old, necklace: wet seal,

ring: tiffany}

This dress is one my scores from my thrifting on Wednesday.

When I first saw it I was SO excited about the brand…

but then I kinda died over the drop waist and the slouchy sleeves.

It’s a tad big for me, but I’ll deal since it’s so freaking cute.

Plus, it’s the most comfy thing ever and it will be the perfect thing when I am having a “fat day.”

Anyway….back to my thrifting this week…

I can’t believe how much I walked away with and the best part is,

I only spent $30!!!

Got another adorable vintage dress with the most amazing buttons, like, ever.

Two pairs of pants…

one pair of black pinstripe Gap stretch ones that feel like buttah,

and the other, an adorable pair of striped denim jeans from Banana Republic.

{Looks cuter than they sound.}

Then, I scored TWO fab purses for $1.50 each,

and an adorable pair of white shoes with the most amazing cork heels ever…um brand new too.

Ooh, and then there was the way ADORABLE tunic from Coldwater Creek with the original $109 price tag still attached.

Love.

{not my usual brand to love, but still it was too cute!}

And then added to all that were a couple of other cute lil tops that needed to be mine.

I mean….

Could you die?

Now you see why I keep this place a secret.

I’ll try to take more pictures of everything to show you guys later.

And this weekend I will even try to take pictures of the clothes for sale.

~~~~~~~

On a non-related note….

We got fingerprinted yesterday to start the process for fostering that little boy I mentioned.

Actually, we got to see him when we went in, and you guys…I almost broke down.

He was so sullen and quiet, and you could tell he was a little scared.

Immediately he and Tay started playing and at one point a toy broke, so Taylor told him it was okay, that maybe his dad could fix it.

And then the little guy looked at Taylor and said,

“I don’t have a dad.”

And Taylor replied….

“You don’t? That’s so sad.”

Jimmy and I looked at each other and almost burst into tears right there.

Later, when we were praying before bed this was Taylor’s prayer:

“Dear Jesus, I just pray that (boys name) would come and live with us,

and if he doesn’t that he could live in a good home,

just like we have.”

I know, tears, right?

So, I am begging for your prayers over this situation still.

It looks pretty promising that he could end up here,

though nothing is for sure…

but now that I’ve seen him again,

I am even more in a rush to have him here with us.

Pray for an expedited process….

I believe in the power of prayer.

And I know this little guy is COVERED.

Ya, so fashion and sad story.

How about that for a fashion friday post?

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blog + twitter = blitter…& an accidental sext

February 18, 2010

~ Having the best week EVER spending three days with one of my favorite girls EVER….

Someone who should have been my BFF in high school had we not been such girls.

Anyway, she was here visiting for a few days, and I was lucky enough to get to host her here in my casa….

SO MUCH FUN!

Yesterday, I took her to my thrift store….and we SCORED.

That’s how you know we’re serious.

I don’t just take anybody there with me.

You have to be special.

And she so totally is.

~ We started a new thing to save our sanity in the house.

It’s called “quiet reading hour.”

And it’s the hour before Taylor’s bedtime.

He now “gets” to lay in his bed and read books for 30-40 minutes before bed.

And it’s lovely.

Because we get 30-40 minutes of amazing peace and quiet even BEFORE bedtime.

I highly recommend this.

~ Kind of loving my new workout so much that I’m thinking of doing another video to teach you all….if you want.

You want?

~ I really want to list my clothes on le blog.

In fact, I have them all hanging on a hook ready for pictures, and I just can’t seem to take the pictures.

Lazy much?

I’ve got no motivation, where is my motivation….

{it went with the sugar….}

~ Really seriously considering the switch to wordpress.

I think it could be time.

The only thing holding me back is this AMAZING design that Stephanie has created for me.

I’m doing my best to see if I can work a way to keep it as CLOSE as possible and still be on wordpress.

Wish me luck.

I’m scared.

Hold me.

~ Kind of over these DANG spammers on my comments.

Not such a fan of having to moderate each and every one every single freking day.

I mean, if I have to read one more time about some guys girlfriend who cheated and how he wants to show off pictures or something to get back at her,

I may just….

um,

well, I don’t know, but it won’t be pretty.

Seriously, do these people actually find success in attempting these comments?

Annoyance.

~ On a lighter note….let’s talk about sexting.

Can’t stop laughing at another one of my sisters embarrassing stories.

{hubba hubba}

So, we had been texting back and forth about sex….

who schedules it and who doesn’t….

Long story.

{Um….Awkward.}

Anyway, in between our texts I guess she was texting with a realtor guy that she works with for her staging business as well.

All of a sudden, she gets a text from him that simply says, “How?”

It didn’t quite go with what they had been texting about so she looks back to see what he was responding to.

And that’s when she realizes she had sent him, instead of me, the following text:

“So, how do you know if it’s a sex night?”

The funny thing is,

he thought she was out of the blue telling him a sex joke,

so he texts back,

“how?”

Seriously. Hilarious.

Poor guy is texting business when my out of the blue my hot sister suddenly switches to sex chat.

I’m dying.

If you’re not laughing, then….guess you had to be there.

Sorry.

But, I pee a little every time I think about it.

On that note….gotta go change my undies.

KIDDING.

ish.

{and that last blitter was a part of Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop….an entertaining string of texts. Yes, I changed it up.}

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she’s kind of like having a dog

February 17, 2010

{our beloved dog Bradley…who has a new home where he can be the only child like he was meant to be}

I swear, Chloe is not the same kind of toddler that Taylor was.

Night and day really.

But I guess, either way, it’s not all that easy.

It’s just that with Chloe,

and I’m sure she’ll love this when she gets older,

it’s more like having a dog rather than a toddler.

For example:

Every time the door opens I have to yell:

“Close the door quick, or you’re going to let the Chloe out!”

Because really, she will BOOK IT, the second she gets a chance.

And she’ll only look back to flash you a devilish grin that says, see ya later suckers.

Or…

How she loves to put EVERYTHING in her mouth and then the second you go to get it out,

she runs away with a smile….as though she is playing a fun little game with you.

At times, I swear when I’m pulling whatever it may be out,

she shakes her head back and forth really fast with a little growl.

I think.

I can’t be sure.

For a long time, it was shoes. She loved to bite and chew on shoes.

Not even kidding.

Also….

She started out in a high chair for meals.

But everything ended up on the floor instead of her mouth.

Not so fun for me.

Then I thought….life may be easier if I just put her seat on the ground.

So I did.

But still, she couldn’t resist the urge to throw it all on the floor.

And then,

being that she’s the second kid and all,

I decided to take away the seat all together and simply put the food on the floor, saving time for everyone involved.

And what do you know, she’s happy as can be, and she eats every last bite.

{rough, rough}

I’m thinking of investing in some cute little leopard doggie bowls with her name on it….

but I’m not sure how much that will cost me in therapy bills down the road.

And then there’s her favorite game.

I throw the ball across the room, and she runs to get it, then brings it back to me.

This can go on for quite some time…

and it is really beneficial to me in those times I want to get some writing done.

She also really loves other dogs.

If she had a tail, it would wag every time she saw one.

So you see….as long as she’s a toddler, there really isn’t a need for pets.

Because she’s kinda like having a dog.

Chloe….I love you.

Please don’t be mad at this post when you get older.

Your dad made me write it.

{this has been a part of wordful wednesday}

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what is blogging costing you?

February 16, 2010

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{it’s all about balance.}

{via}

I’ve been blogging for awhile.

I’ve had an up and down, love/hate relationship with it….

and at times I have really really considered shutting it down.

And not in the good Rachel Zoe way.

In my time here, I have seen some stuff I’ve been amazed by in a truly incredibly good way,

and then on the other hand,

I’ve seen some stuff that has shocked me to my core.

Stuff that has truly made me question if I’m meant to be a part of it all.

{You’ve heard the stories…people pretending to be a mom who’d lost a baby….or things kinda like that…}

Like, woah.

On one hand, my love hand…

I think…

Never in my life have I ever felt so encouraged,

so understood,

so free….

and so LOVED.

How could I ever walk away?

But on the other hand, my hate hand…

I think…

what am I giving up to be a part of this?

What was my life like before writing became a priority?

Maybe I should walk away.

And here’s the real thing that divides me….

Sometimes it feels like blogging has become less about writing and connecting and relating….

and more about numbers, stats, comments, and alliances.

I’m not innocent.

I’ve been lost.

I’ve seen the glitter and wandered towards it.

I’ve lusted for more.

For other.

And I’ve often thought,

IT MUST BE MINE.

But, at what cost?

A child?

A home?

A marriage?

A relationship?

A friendship?

Would you shut it all down to save just one of those things?

After lots of prayer,

I know that for now I am not going anywhere.

I am in LOVE with the community that has been created here on my little blog.

I’ve been given a small garden to be faithful in,

and I will be here tending to it as best I can.

I just have to remember that it needs to be in addition to.

Not in place of.

It can’t cost me life.

Or love.

Or relationships.

Or me.

So, I wonder….

where are you with your blogging journey,

{if you do blog…}

and is it costing you more than you thought?

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monday muse – mama kat style

February 15, 2010

I’ve been doing my best to share the spotlight round here….

you know, by inviting other folks with their own kind of fashion sense to come and partake in le fashion posting.

And this week,

I’ve asked my beloved BSF,

Mama Kat,

to honor us all with her INCREDIBLE fashion style.

While at first she begged me for fashion advice and styling,

I encouragingly told her…

“No no, sweet lil’ Mama Kat, you.

Today is the day YOU shine, my love.

You can do it.

You can!

I believe in you…”

And I think my talk worked.

Because this week, she is WORKING it.

Get out your pens and paper and take notes,

because it will take a lot of studying to look this hot.

~~~~~~~

I was extremely flattered when Summer asked me to guest post on her blog. I’ve always REALLY been into fashion and have considered starting my own fashion blog, but I’ve been reluctant to jump on the ball with that. I’d feel kind of bad blowing all the other fashion blogs out of the water and to be honest I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of attention. I’ve heard paparazzi can be difficult to deal with.

Anywhoooo…when it comes to fashion I like to consider myself a little “ahead of the game”…”shabby chic” if you will. Sure comfort is important, but style is too and I think the two can co-exist. The following photos are just pictures of me on an average day.

There’s no reason to spend your days looking frumpy and feeling ugly, when you can sex things up a bit. This outfit is girly, form fitting, and flirtatious. I can complete my usual afternoon tasks, such as vacuuming,

blogging,

apple eating,

and thinking,

while looking trendy and feeling cozy!!

What do you wear when you eat apples and blog and vacuum at your house?

~~~~~~~

I know, I know….you want to lick her, huh?

Well get in line folks, I’m first.

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i’m a love machine

February 14, 2010

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{via}

I love love.

And I’m not afraid to admit that I am a sucker for Valentines Day.

This year I’m super excited to make it special for the kids,

so that they grow up knowing that this day doesn’t have to be just about couples….

It can be about showing and giving love

to everyone around us….

I not only want to make it special for them,

I want it to become meaningful.

This way there will never be a year that they feel alone.

Because they’ll know it’s not about them,

and what they have or don’t have.

It’ll simply be a day that they get another chance to give their love to others.

Happy Valentines Day you guys….

I hope that this day finds you feeling loved and adored.

Because you are.

Especially by me.

Because I heart you.

You complete me.

I mean….

You had me at hello.

Mwa.

{and a special thank you to my valentines day secret pal, Kristen from Kristen’s take on life. She sent me the most amazing jewelry, hair clips, and yummy yummy chocolate….which I totally ate minutes after taking it out of the box! Um, I was sick. I needed sugar to live…. But, seriously woman, I so scored. I will totally be rocking my new stuff on a fashion friday soon! Thank you a million!}

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a glimpse into my personal life

February 13, 2010

Here’s just a quick something I thought I’d share so you can get a lil peek into my private life.

This is seriously a fight we had round these parts just awhile back…and I share it now only because I can finally laugh about it.

Believe it or not, I was not laughing in the moment.

~~~~~~~

me: Seriously, did you just fart in here?

him: Um….

me: I can’t believe you expect romance and then day in and day out you drop bombs that smell like death.

him: What am I supposed to do???

me: Go outside. Or hold it in.

him: I would be outside all day.

me: Great. Sounds like a plan.

him: —

me: If you keep farting around me all the time, i will start leaving phlegm in your sink.

him: okay, I’ll start working on it.

~~~~~~~

And you know what?

He is.

Working on it.

It definitely pays off to have a man so afraid of snot.

And you see?

That’s what marriage is all about.

Cooperating.

{or exploiting one’s weaknesses in order to get something you want.}

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fashion friday

February 12, 2010

{denim jeans: f21, top: arden b ~ platos closet resale, mary jane shoes: paulo ~ platos closet resale, purse: t.j. maxx, jacket: stiletto , sunnies: dziner eyes, ring: tiffany & co., watch: la mer, bangles: walmart, necklace: thrifted}

Kind of in love with my necklace.

I have been wanting one JUST like it forever and could never find one I loved enough.

And then a few weeks ago, I walked into my thrift store, and there she was.

With a $1 price tag no less.

I think God may have made it just for me.

~~~~~~~

My oh my, whatta week peeps.

I made it through eating clean and healthy….and yet, I am the most bloated I have ever been!!!

I have a feeling the plumbing is all confused with this sudden change of diet….so I’m thinking a Zevia with caffeine may be in order.

{If you know whattta mean.}

So….a little update on something NOT gross.

We had our interview with the social worker, and now we are waiting to hear from the placement social worker to see if she is willing to take the steps to put this child in our care.

It’s tough, because there are already foster homes in place that don’t need to be background checked, fingerprinted and all that, (like we still have to have done), so he could just easily be moved to one of those.

And I know that these social workers are super overworked….so often times they end up doing just that….whatever is easiest.

I’m just hoping that with all the prayer that has been surrounding this particular situation, that it will work out EXACTLY the way God intends for it to.

It’s hard though, because my heart just wants him safe, and I know my home will be just that for him.

But….I have to let go and let God….ugh.

I hate christian-ese sayings.

I can’t believe I just wrote that!

It’s just that there have been several times this week where I have woken up in the middle of the night worrying and thinking about it all.

And instead of losing sleep, I have had to imagine myself taking these thoughts and literally placing them into his giant, capable hands….

and I guess I’ll just continue to do that until everything is done and settled.

Isn’t waiting fun????

nasomuch.

But, like I sing to Taylor….

Be patient, Be patient

Don’t be in such a hurry.

When you get impatient,

You only start to worry.

Remember, Remember

That God is patient, too,

And think of all the times

That others had to wait for you!

Words to live by people.

And thanks a MILLION for all your prayers and support.

It will make it that much easier when all is said and done to accept that what is,

is what’s meant to be.

Mwa.

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dear therapist…answered

February 11, 2010

Remember last week when you guys wrote in with issues for Shelby

{licensed marriage and family therapist}

to answer???

Well, although it was hard, she narrowed it down to one, and here are her words of wisdom….

~~~~~~~

I work with a guy that I totally have a crush on. We flirt with each other all the time. He tells me that I am pretty and sexy. It seems harmless really but I am starting to have dreams about this other man, crazy hot sexy dreams. Sometimes they are so bad that I can’t even look at him the next day.

I would never dream of cheating on my husband in real life but in my head and in my dream, it appears that I have. I feel like my mind is doing bad things. I want the dreams and thoughts to stop. How can I handle this?

Okay, I choose to start with this one, because

a.) more people are dealing with this than you would ever imagine and

b.) I have had my share of “at-work boyfriends.”

But, being in a solo private practice, and having EXCEPTIONAL boundaries with my male clients, an “at-work” boyfriend is something I had to kiss good-bye the minute I left agency work.

I miss it.

It has lots of perks.

BUT—and this is a HUGE “but”—it has a lot of risks, too.

Let’s start with the perks.

You are a human being—we all are—and it is incredibly flattering and validating to have other people notice you. It helps remind you that you are a sexual, attractive person.

That sexual part of yourself can get lost in the shuffle of dealing with all the responsibilities being over 22 comes with.

It can also remind you to live out that sexual part of yourself with your aforementioned husband.

Being a little flirty with others can remind you to be flirty at home.

And that’s a good thing.

Now the risks:

crossing boundaries, confusing thoughts, lurid dreams that leave you feeling guilty and left with feelings that feel like maybe they should be acted upon.

Hurt feelings, worried and suspicious co-workers, and bad reputations.

Actual affairs, ruined marriages, betrayed children.

It can get pretty ugly.

I have seen too many couples in my office wrestling through the aftermath of an affair—often with someone one of them has identified as a “crush at work.”

It is an ugly, horrible, painful process and I have had more than one client tell me, “If you ever have someone who is considering an affair—tell them not to do it. It’s not at all worth it.”

I get it that you don’t have any intention of having an affair with this “crush.”

But what you described sounds a whole lot like what my clients describe as the behavior that led to the “affair” that “just happened.”

Very few people ever really mean for affairs to happen.

And you sound like you could be headed down a very slippery slope.

Here’s how to stop the bad dreams, respect your marriage, and ensure you won’t end up sitting on a therapist’s couch saying, “I never meant for this to happen”:

1. Realize that choosing your marriage is a decision you make every day.

Every hour. Every minute. With every action.

2. Set a boundary for yourself.

A line you will not cross.

And make it ten steps before the line society says you should not cross. “I will not kiss him” is the society line.

Ten steps before that: “I won’t joke about sleeping together. I won’t meet him for drinks after work. I won’t eat lunch alone with him. I won’t let him drive me home after a work function.”

If you stay ten steps back from the kiss, you won’t find yourself saying things like, “A back rub in the break room isn’t a big deal,” and “Texting about sex isn’t the same as having it.”

An easy way to do this is create the rule: “I will not do anything here that I would not do in front of my husband” otherwise known as, “I won’t do anything I wouldn’t want my spouse to know about.”

3. The dreams are a huge tip off that you’re giving this crush WAY more thought and energy than you should.

It’s okay to fantasize—but mix up your fantasies.

Purposefully daydream about your husband.

Spend some time remembering your first dates, your first good sexual encounters.

Fantasize about Brad Pitt—or Bradley Cooper from The Hangover (yummy!).

Flirt with the barista at Starbuck’s.

Flirt with the mailman.

Spread some of your sexual energy around, in small, innocent ways, to remind yourself that it’s okay to be a sexual person, just not so intensely with any one person who is not your husband.

4. Choose to cool off things with the crush at work.

Don’t make some huge speech to him about how things are too serious and you’re starting to dream about him, and so have to back off.

That is the exact opposite of backing off.

That is jumping ten steps ahead to making reservations at a Motel 8.

Just thoughtfully back off.

Stay friendly, but when you feel you want to throw your head back and laugh sexily at his incredibly funny joke, and then stroke his arm to assure him you think he is incredible, but –you know—in a harmless way—DON’T DO IT.

Smile, look at your watch and walk away.

Don’t go over to his cube 57 times a day.

Don’t text him every time you think something is funny or ironic.

Text your husband instead.

And on that point,

5. Make more of an effort to connect with your husband.

Call to catch up.

Make plans for a date.

Purposefully think of him as you fall asleep at night: imagine him as the star of your raunchy, hot, wonderful dreams.

6. Finally, don’t beat yourself up.

Know that we ALL do this.

I think a couple is far more likely to have a strong, healthy marriage when they can acknowledge that they are both human, and therefore, both susceptible to these kinds of thoughts, feelings, and actions.

If you acknowledge it, you can plan to avoid it.

It’s the people who say, “Oh that would NEVER happen to me” that find themselves drunk in the back of their co-worker’s car after the holiday party.

Not. Good.

When you have the thoughts about your crush, just notice them. Don’t judge them.

For now, notice them like this: “Oh, there they are again. Thoughts about X. What would I like to be thinking about? Zumba? Jamba Juice? McDreamy?” And switch gears.

If thoughts of X keep coming back, don’t judge yourself, or apply any meaning to it.

Simply notice it, and watch it as a bubble wraps around the words or picture in your mind and floats off into a blue, blue sky.

I’m glad you wrote in with this question.

So many women (and men) are having the same, secret little problem.

Dreaming about a crush doesn’t have to say anything about you or your marriage.

The way you handle those dreams, the action you decide to take in order to protect your marriage—now THAT says a lot about you!

Yours, Shelby

~~~~~~~

You guys like this?

Good, because she’s coming back with more another time!

She had such a hard time choosing that she wants to address some of the others….

And if you have stuff you need advice on now, just leave it in the comments, and maybe she’ll even get to yours!

{anonymously is okay!}

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another new blog look…for reals this time

February 10, 2010

First of all, kind of amazing, right?

I mean, Stephanie truly knows her stuff, and while I already loved that girl….

now I’m like,

deeply mahdly in love.

Seriously, she is ahhhh-mazing.

Here’s the thing.

You know how I’m so in love with this room?

{my blog in real life}

Well, not only is it the inspiration behind my next living room,

but it was also the inspiration behind what I wanted my blog to look like.

I think my communication skills were lacking with the other look,

because when I saw it completed,

I didn’t get the feeling that I was sitting in that living room.

At all.

But then Stephanie, oh sweet Stephanie said, “let me take a look at your inspiration.”

So, I showed her.

And she knew.

She really, really knew.

So she said, “I have a vision, let me have a shot at it.”

And this is what she came up with.

Seriously, doesn’t it totally feel like my soon to be living room???

And because I am so in love with it, I think I may need something else to go with it….

like a pink purse.

{yummy yummy, come to mama. thanks jen, we feed each others addiction!}

Yup, a pink purse.

Now my life will be complete.

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