Archives for March 2009

you have how many?!?

March 23, 2009

“When are you going to have another one?”

“You don’t want kids?”

“You mean, you only want one?”

“Wait a minute, how can you know you’re done? You ONLY have two!”

“That is just so sad that you’re stopping here. So sad.”

Seriously? What is up with this whole having an opinion on if and how many kids people are having these days? It’s just something I will never understand, being that I really could care less about the number of children born to any person. Unless of course, it’s the Octamom. In that case, I do have an opinion. A strong opinion. Especially because my tax dollars are paying for her decision.

Anyway, back to me.

After I had Taylor, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have more kids. Pregnancy was so hard what with being sick to my stomach the first half, and gestational diabetes the last. Then newborn life, oh don’t get me started. The hours of inconsolable crying (mine and his), the breastfeeding, the mastitis, the sleep deprivation…on and on and on.

Then came the toddler years, and all the fun anxiety that came with it….

You can see why I thought one was enough.

And yet, I still found myself being asked at least once a week when we were going to have another one. The ugly contorted looks I got when they heard that Taylor may be the only one. There were a few in fact that I thought might start crying.

But as time went on it eventually wore me down, and I decided to give pregnancy another shot.

Jimmy and I from day one always agreed that we only wanted 2 kids at the most, so we knew that this pregnancy would definitely be the last.

And now, with Chloe being 4 months, the questions are a-coming again.

“When are you going to have another?”

“Are you sure you ONLY want two?”

“Oh, but three is such a good number.”

“How can you even know right now that you’re done? You only have 2!”

And on and on.

But, I am starting to learn that all I need to do is whip out that look that Jimmy had the privilege of seeing here…

Enough said I think.

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blogversations: talent show

March 21, 2009

Okay, so let me just say…

We are family of many talents.

I can burp like none other. Jimmy plays the guitar and the bass. Taylor throws a mean temper tantrum. And we can all act. I mean, like really act. Like any day now an agent is going to be offering us big money to represent us. I have the phone right by my side, in case you’re that agent trying to call right now.

So, you can see, it was really hard for us to narrow it down to just one.

I really hope we chose the right one. What do you think?

And what’s really going to shock you, wait for it…

Wait…

It’s that we did that on our first take. We are just that good. We didn’t even practice first. Um….ya. I know. You’re jealous. So, is everybody else. We’re used to it. It’s the thorn in our side.

And if you really want more of our talent….click here. You won’t be sorry.

Okay enough about me and my stuff, show me what you got.

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summer soles

March 21, 2009

Spring is here.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. There is no better time to kick off your sandals, dance with the lilies, then go running through the fields into the sunset.

It all sounds beautiful doesn’t it?

But, what if you’ve been sweating in your sandals and as you kick them off, an intense aroma of stinky feet follows you into the sunset. Not so lovely anymore, is it?

Spring is about being fresh. And that includes your feet.

That’s why I highly recommend you try Summer Soles. They’re trendy, fashion forward sandal and flip flop insoles. Not only are they odor and moisture absorbing, but they’re cute! And that is something much needed when you’re wearing them where they can be seen. Just how cute can insoles be, you ask? Well, lets just say you can choose from a range of colors from white or black to zebra or leopard print, and then everything inbetween.

More good news.

Summer Soles is offering a pair to give to one of my followers! Are you a follower? If so, go check out their website, pick which one you like the best. Come to my comments and tell me. {Remember, you MUST be a follower. If I draw your name, and you’re not, I will pick someone else.}

{Extra entry for blogging about it.}

Contest ends at midnight East Coast time on Friday, the 27th. Winner will be announced during Saturday’s Blogversations on the 28th!

Keep in step with spring, and let’s keep the funk in your dance moves and not in your feet.

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an optimistic look

March 20, 2009

So, this is an excerpt from an old post, but I truly feel like it gives a way to look at things that may be hard in a better light.

I wanted to share this dream that my friend Bethany had a couple of years ago. It seems like a lot of people I know and love are going through some really hard times right now. And this story keeps coming to mind. It has meant so much to me time and time again, and I hold on to the image every time life gets hard.

Imagine that God has you in the palm of his hands. You are just the size of an infant compared to the capable hands that are holding you. And as you lay in his hands, you’re curled up trying to protect yourself from the rain that is beating down on you. It’s cold, dreary, and intense. It almost feels like it’s more than you can bear. But, as you glance beneath the hands that are holding you, you see rapid waters and scorching fire. If for a moment, God was to let you go, you would surely die. Suddenly, the rain doesn’t seem so bad. And so you snuggle into the safety of Gods hands knowing that what you’re going through is manageable because you are safe with Him. And knowing that He is keeping you from things far worse allows your hope and faith to grow.

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i drool…i die

March 20, 2009

I have a drooling problem. And I blame Etsy.

Seriously, I have such a love/hate relationship with Etsy. I love that it brings handmade and unique things into my life, but I hate that my spending money dwindles so quickly with each shop I visit.

Right now, you must see all the things I am drooling over. They really are ah-mazing. I die. I really do die. (Thanks Rachel Zoe, for such a cute thing to say!)

Made By Girl Adorable Cards

Urban Harmonies

BitOWhimsy

Wing Wendy

Pretty Raccoon Clothing

Okay then, thats enough for one post…

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and then what did you think?

March 19, 2009

Taylor’s favorite phrase to say to me, is: “And then what did you think?” Well that, and the phrase: “No Mom, I don’t want to do that right now. Here’s the plan, I’ll do what I want to do first and then I’ll do what you want me to do. Okay Mom?”

Which brings me to my first point.

I used to think I was patient until I had kids. But now…

Well, I find it’s my struggle every single day. I have to BREATHE. Sometimes very deeply. Well, not sometimes….often.

I don’t know what it is about kids that makes it so hard to be patient. I mean, I’ve had boyfriends who required more patience than my own kids do. And yet,

Daily, Hourly…Minute by Minute, I have to breathe.

I used to think I would never make the same mistakes that my parents made. And yet, as I grow up, I realize I’m just as human as they are. And mistakes have and have yet to be made.

I used to think that I understood God. But, with seeing life happen all around me, I realize I don’t understand His ways at all. I will never understand Him. But, I understand my own ways even less, and I actually am me. (Woah, that’s deep.) So, rather than try to figure it all out, I will simply trust Him instead.

I used to think I wasn’t worthy of being forgiven. Too many times mistakes were held over my head by others, but most often by myself. Now, in learning to forgive the people I love and seeing forgiveness being given to others, I realize that I am just as worthy as they are.

I used to think I didn’t want a boy, until I had Taylor. And then even though he has kept me humble, I started to think I only wanted boys and quickly decided I didn’t want a girl. But, then I had Chloe, and now I’m happy I have one of each.

I used to think I would never be close with my sisters. But now, they are some of my closest friends, and I depend on their love and friendship more than anything.

I used to think I liked jeans, but now I adore elastic.

I used to have time to think…oh those were the days.

I used to think, but all this goes to show that I really don’t know much even after all that thinking.

Hmm, there is surely a lesson to be learned here, but I don’t want to think anymore.

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blogversation topic & Q&A about the chores

March 18, 2009

Long enough title?

Anyway, first things first. Blogversations this week is a Talent Show. It can be yours, your spouse’s, your kid’s, your animals….whatever. Just show off some talent. Make it good.

Okay, now onto more pressing matters. It seems my post on Monday struck a chord with a lot of you, and I got a ton of emails asking for more details. So, I just decided I’d take those questions and answer them here, because I’m too lazy to answer the same question a bunch of times. =) You appreciate the honesty, right?

1. How detailed did we get in listing out the chores? I would say quite detailed. Our list covered dishes, cleaning the kitchen, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, cooking, paying the bills, toilets, trash, bathrooms (meaning counters and shower)…etc. Basically everything besides caring for the kids. We even added in each persons laundry individually, garage & backyard cleaning (kicking out the spiders and webs kind of stuff.) I would think you should be as detailed as possible so that there isn’t anything left unassigned, so that way, nothing can be argued over later.

2. How do you deal if he doesn’t do it the way you want it done or in the time that you want it done? How did you decide what got 4 stars and what got 1?: Okay, so these questions go together because of how we developed our own personal rating system. After we wrote out all the chores and responsibilites, we then went through each one and decided how often each one needed to be done. And for some, we even designated certain days they had to be done. Like trash, he picked Tuesday and Friday’s to take it out. Once we had each job assigned to how often and when, we then took that into consideration when doing the rating. A job like dishes which has to be done daily and is a bit time consuming, got more stars. Soooo…..all that to say, when we chose our chores we were accepting the responsibilities of getting them done within the time frame we agreed on.

Make sense?

Really, I highly recommend Shelby’s e-book. She lays it out so well, from how to go about the meetings to what specifically you should be talking about.

And so, that about covers it, I think. Now, let’s all go and be divided!

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clean in style

March 18, 2009

We have a lot to do these days.

Showering, eating, breathing…blogging, and as always, the dreaded task of cleaning. I mean, the cleaning alone can take half the day what with the extra steps of remembering where you have hidden the supplies, going to get them, actually doing the cleaning, and then woah of all woahs, having to go and put it away when you’re done.

I’m tired just thinking about it all actually.

But, not to worry. Clorox has come up with a way to solve this issue, and I’m lucky enough to bring such good news to you.

It’s called Redesign Clean. And what is so revolutionary about these new canisters of cleanliness, is that it takes out the step of getting out and putting away. Because, like a cute box of tissue, this can also stay on the counter, desk, or more realistically…the living room floor, all the while adding in a dash of design and style.

We can all still be clean, but now have the time to possibly do the little things we could never squeeze in before. Like eating a doughnut.

I think everyone deserves a moment for a doughnut, so to the first 4 commenters to tell me how much they adore me, oh, I mean the new redesigned Clorox wipes, I will send you a coupon to try it FOR FREE!

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we are so much more

March 17, 2009

Do you ever feel that you’ve lost yourself? You’ve lost the person that you were before you had kids? That those dreams and hopes and hobbies are kind of pushed to the side. Or to the back, or that they’ve disappeared?

Why does that happen?

It’s not good. Not good at all.

I believe our children need to see that we are people too. They need to see that we have dreams, and they especially need to see that we are taking steps to make those dreams come true.

If we can do and be that in front of our kids, then I believe it teaches them to do the same in their own lives.

We can only be martyrs for an hour a day (I mean, let’s be realistic here), but then we have to get off our butts and be who we were created to be. And we need to do so without GUILT.

It’s good for us, for our hearts, minds and souls. And it will only serve to better our friendships, our marriage, our children and our self esteem.

Yes, I’m a mom, but I am so much more.

And so are you.

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a divided home is a happy home

March 15, 2009

It’s true, and I’ll say it again, A Divided Home is a Happy Home.

Remember awhile back when I talked about cheap therapy, and then I ranted and raved about marriage and family therapist, Shelby Riley? (If you’re new, you can read it here) Well, I decided to put into practice one of her e-books, 10 Weeks to Increased Intimacy and Connection.

It was time, given all this “embrace your role” crap that’s been going around.

We finally scheduled a meeting for this weekend, and hashed out assignment one. Chores & Responsibilities.

And whew, can I just say, I am now a happy woman?

The big thing that we came to agreement on before anything was that simply caring for the kids is a full time job. That alone is equivalent to the 40 hours at his job. So, in both knowing that, it was decided that all the chores and responsibilities are extra, and NOT included in our “jobs.” (read: MY job.) So, um, ya…really glad we got clear on that.

After that was written in stone and tattooed on his forehead, we sat down and collectively wrote out all the chores and responsibilities of the home, from cooking to trash to paying the bills. Then, per Shelby’s suggestion, we rated each chore based on how much time or how hard it was. Such as, trash got one star for being easy, vacuuming got four.

Are you getting the picture here?

Once everything was listed and rated, we then went through and picked the things we didn’t mind doing. After that, we divided up the rest based on points and did our best to make our list (according to point value) even. In the end, he had 15 points worth of chores and I had 17. (I’m going to resist being a martyr here.)

Also, let the record show that he chose cooking from the list. HE CHOSE IT. Willingly and on his own. In fact, let the record show once more, I even offered to take 2 nights a week.

You see, I am beginning to grasp this whole…wait what was that word again? Starts with a “c?” Hmm, oh well, it’s lost on me at the moment. Ooooh, compromise…that’s right.

But then he asked what I was planning on cooking those nights, and when I responded spaghetti or tuna melts, he decided it was a chore he was willing to accept responsibility for.

So, there you go. We divided up our list, we printed it out and put it on the refrigerator, and now we have a happy home. We parted ways agreeing on meeting again about this in two months to see how our loads are, and to see if there needs to be any changes.

Like I said, A Divided Home is a Happy Home. You should try it.

Life is good, I’m not cooking, and that’s that.

Next week is Assignment Two: Prioritize Your Values and Live Intentionally. (Like, I value not having to cook?)

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