Archives for November 2008

the first time i met jimmy

The first time I met Jimmy I knew he was something special and something different. Even though at the time I was dating somebody else, getting to know Jimmy made me realize the one I was with wasn’t the right guy. I didn’t ever think I would date Jimmy, but I knew I wanted to find a guy just like him.
A month before we met, my dad died suddenly from a heart attack and I was going through the awful bit and pieces of his life which was more of a mess than I knew. Not only was I dealing with the trauma of losing my dad, but I had to go through the emotional baggage of my dad’s life. It was a load of crap, and I felt so overwhelmed. While my family had each other up in my home state, I was down here thousands of miles away to deal and heal without the shelter of my sisters.
I had a ton of friends that did their best to be there for me, and I am ever so thankful I had them during that time. But, what really stands out to me, is the love and support of Jimmy. He was exactly what I needed during that time. He allowed me to be me. He let me cry when I felt like crying, he let me laugh when I needed to laugh, and he let me be quiet when I needed to be quiet. He never burdened me with questions or advice, he was just there.
We were just friends, and at that point I had never considered dating him. He was “off limits” so I only saw him as this amazing guy who would only ever be my friend. This was good though, because I felt comfortable. I didn’t need to impress him. I could burp, put my gum under the table, cry, or pick my nose…stuff I’m sure he just loved about me now that we look back. 😉
Anyway, one night I had enough. There were more devastating details coming out about people my dad had known, and I felt like I was going to crack. I took off and found this spot on the beach, along the cliffs, and sat there for hours crying. I was totally alone and I was just letting the tears and sobs go. After awhile though I noticed someone was there with me. I turned and saw Jimmy walking towards me. He had called my roommate and asked where I was, and then set out to find me.
I looked awful. I had puffy eyes, mascara down my face, and I had no voice…no words, no smile, no laughter. I had nothing to give him. So I just turned away. He quietly sat down next to me and took off his sweatshirt and helped me put it on. Then he sat there with one arm around me, and said nothing. We spent another hour there while I continued to sob away, and not one word was shared. But his support, his presence, his patience and understanding….it was just what I needed to start to heal.
And it was that night, that moment that I knew. Without ever having dated, kissed or held hands, I knew. It was the first time I knew HE was the guy I was going to marry.

It is now six years and two kids later, and I am still so thankful for him. In fact, I am more in love with him now than the day we got married. And every year it continues to grow. Through all the ups and downs, my love grows.
All those ex’s of the past were worth every heartache and pain because it led me to him. I would never have been able to appreciate the guy that he is, had I not kissed a few “toads” along the way.
Now, it’s been a rough four weeks with the adjustment of the baby in the house, and I can’t say either one of us has been the most fun to be around. (well, especially him. I’m a saint, don’t ya know?) But, going back to the beginning, of what brought us together is always a great memory and reminder. He is still that guy, he still has that heart, and he loves me so much better than I deserve.
So, all that to say, I forgive the grumpy man who hasn’t been much fun to be around when he doesn’t get his full 8 hours of sleep. And I love you more than I can ever explain.
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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i heart sisters & shopping!!!

My shopping partner and sister, Heather, just left the other day, and I’m experiencing a sort of blues. I think it’s a combination of a spending hangover and missing one of my favorite people. She’s not just a shopping muse though. In fact she was more help than I even knew I needed last week. And I’m not sure I can live without her now, but more on that here….
But, oh how I have missed clothes shopping!!! Buying things with stretch over the last 9 months just doesn’t count as shopping, and it feels oh so good to be back in the game. I mean, there is just something so comforting about a store with cute clothes in it. And something even better about walking out with a bag full of cute clothes that get to go home with you and live in your closet. As I ventured into my first store, H&M, I felt so alive. So happy. So right where I needed to be. And it only made it better to share the experience with one of my sisters. (I have 3, and I could shop all day every day with any one of them!)
An hour later as we walked in the glory of a remodeled and bigger Forever 21, I just felt giddy. What is it about clothes and fashion that makes you feel as though nothing could go wrong in life, as long as you just look cute going through it?
So, I found my style again. Well, I’m working on it anyway. And I have Heather to thank…well, her and Rachel Zoe of course.
I found that layering is good. Fur (faux) is awesome. I love scarves.
Boots with a wedge…to die! Flat black riding style boots, I need…and thanks to free shipping, will soon have. 😉
Still looking for vintage type necklaces, and I think I still need a signature fashion ring.
Heather’s influence left me with a desire for new Chapstick that is like lip gloss, but I’m still searching for that. And now, thanks to her, I’m on the lookout for the new Loreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara. Because, you know, you can never have enough mascara. I also acquired a new addiction to Ice Breakers Peach Iced Tea Mints. But, an even healthier addiction to Jackie Warner’s DVD workout.
Even better than the sister shopping bond, my favorite moments were hanging out, couch seat swapping, and just talking with her. I love having sisters. It’s like having a piece of your heart outside your body. (That may not make sense to anyone else but me…) But to have someone who thinks similar to you, talks similar to you, someone who thinks the same things are funny….or not funny…..and all that mushy stuff, is amazing. It’s a best friend that will never go away. I just wish I had them all living in the same town as me, because I am always so sad when we hang out and then have to say goodbye. =(
I guess I should go shopping to make myself feel better. Hmmmm….what else do I need?
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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things i love: jackie warners one on one training dvd

Since having Chloe, I am missing my dear sweet gym. I didn’t realize how much I loved going, and what a release it has been to me. Not to mention it gave me a break from being a mom for an hour or two. Since I can’t bring Chloe until she’s 6 months, I’ve been trying to figure out something I can do here at home that will give me the same endorphin rush.
Then my sister brought me the Jackie Warner DVD. We did it twice while she was here, and I was S-O-R-E!!! Holy crap. After the legs day, I couldn’t walk without looking like I was still 9 months pregnant. And after the arms day, it hurt allowing my arms to just hang by my side.
Now, I know that doesn’t sound fun, but it is! A video that works like you went to the gym. I love it!
And when the fun wears off of this one, I’m onto the P90X series.
Want more reviews on loved things? Go to Try it Tuesday and check them out.
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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three things

When I was little and sat in church with my mom, she had a rule that was intended to keep me focused on the pastor rather than fidgeting and getting distracted…which still as an adult comes easily to me! The rule was, I had to sit with a pen and paper and take notes. By the end of the message, I needed to have written at least three things that stood out to me. And it couldn’t be the first three things he said. 😉 Although I did try that once.
I’ve always been and continue to be very easily distracted. I tend to let my mind wander, or I start to people watch, or I fidget….or I doodle… There are a ton of things that keep me from staying focused.
This morning as I was fighting to keep my head up and my eyes open after 4 hours of sleep last night, the Three Things Rule came to my mind. So, I sat up, grabbed my pen and started to take notes. And then I had a brilliant idea.
Hence this blog post!
Now, I’m not too good at keeping on schedule with posting, but I thought it would be good to start posting my Three Things List every Sunday. By doing this, I am held more accountable to listening and retaining what it is I am learning.
This week Pastor Mike spoke on Fears & Worries.
Three Things….
1.) Identify the things I fear and worry about the most.
This has stuck in mind because I tend to worry often about my ability to be a good mom and a good wife. I want to be all things to all people in my life. What’s really crazy thinking, is that I worry about my worry. Will worry (ie: anxiety) prevent me from being who I want and desire to be? Will I get into an anxiety moment and never be able to pull myself out of it? Yes, these are the things I worry about most.

2.) Am I pursuing God’s agenda or am I distracted by own life? 

(The Message) Matthew 6:30-33″If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

In hearing this, I realized that I am allowing my fears, my worries, my anxiety to take over my life. Instead of giving it up and allowing God to be in control….and here’s the key thing, trusting him, I worry. When instead, if I let it go and stop being distracted by the worry, I am better able to be the very person he intended me to be. See how it goes round full circle?
3.) “Abba Father”
Pastor Mike was talking about “Abba Father” and what it really means. He explained that in Bible days, Abba Father was used as though a 2 year old was crying out to their daddy. Hearing it put like that really touched me. The fact that I am able to cry to God and share all my fears and anxiety as though I’m a child comforted me. And then to allow myself that childlike trust and faith that my “daddy” is going to take care of it. He’s “got my back” as Pastor Mike put it, and I need to believe it. I need to trust it.
I need to let it go.
You want more? Click here to watch or listen to the message. Maybe you can find your own three things. If you do, I would love to hear them! (the message takes a day or two to post to the website.)
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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secret language of babies

If you have a baby, you have to see this. Jimmy and I have been studying it all week. We have watched this clip several times each day, and I think we have it down. We now have an understanding of what Chloe is crying about. Oh wait, is that an “eh” I hear? Gotta go burp the girl!
Enjoy!
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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the powerful voting woman

Who is that woman?
Me!
Oh yes, being that I suddenly have political opinions and views now, I finally took my butt in and voted…get this…for the first time. Yes, my first time, EVER.
Such power I felt filling in the bubbles, like I was controlling things. 😉
Next time it will be good to know ahead of time that I don’t need to fill in every bubble if I don’t want to. I thought that it was invalid if I left any blank.
And that wasn’t even my “blonde moment” of the day.
Anyway, I voted!!!
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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he dwells in me….

Sometimes I forget that Christ actually dwells in me, it’s me that forgets to walk as one with Him. He’s already here, His spirit dwells within my soul, and I go on about my day and just check in with Him when things get tough. I’ve been trying to begin my day with the prayer of, “Lord, help me to walk with you today, to have my heart, mind, and soul be in tune with Your will.” I’ve always prayed and asked God to come to me, but in all actuality He’s already here just waiting for me to acknowledge Him.
© 2008 “Le Musings of Moi”
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